Jeph Jacques's comics discussion forums

  • 28 Nov 2021, 06:56
  • Welcome, Guest
Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  
Pages: 1 [2] 3 4 ... 11   Go Down

Author Topic: Best/Worst things to say during sex?  (Read 143016 times)

Andrea

  • Guest
Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
« Reply #50 on: 13 Feb 2007, 18:27 »

"Do you even know what you doing???" this was said after he nailing me in the thigh just a few inches above my knee cap.  :roll:

I SAID I was sorry....gosh...
But the fact that I was halfway across the room when I did it should give me SOME brownie points...

Grimmy
only remembers that moment from that night...


lol wel alright i will give you credit for that. :)

hmmmm something else thats horrible:
"OUCH!! WRONG HOLE RETARD!!!!"
Logged

Luke C

  • Beyond Thunderdome
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 570
    • http://www.john87.com
Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
« Reply #51 on: 14 Feb 2007, 11:45 »

You probably have to have seen the Ross Noble show to get this gag but:

"Show me where your mother lives!"
Logged
"These capitalists generally act harmoniously and in concert to fleece the people, and now that they have got into a quarrel with themselves, we are called upon to appropriate the people's money to settle the quarrel." Lincoln in 1837

Thy Dungeonman

  • Bizarre cantaloupe phobia
  • **
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 209
Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
« Reply #52 on: 14 Feb 2007, 13:00 »

hmmmm something else thats horrible:
"OUCH!! WRONG HOLE RETARD!!!!"

It would be funnier/more horrible still iff it was the guy who said that.
Logged

Eris

  • Duck attack survivor
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,985
  • bzzzz
Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
« Reply #53 on: 14 Feb 2007, 16:20 »

"Show me where your mother lives!"
"Show me where your mother lives!"
Logged
Quote from: Drunk Pete
MACHINS CON ESFU EPETE

Andrea

  • Guest
Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
« Reply #54 on: 17 Feb 2007, 19:19 »

hmmmm something else thats horrible:
"OUCH!! WRONG HOLE RETARD!!!!"

It would be funnier/more horrible still iff it was the guy who said that.

oh good god that would be sooooooo awkward to here that.
Logged

. Brian .

  • Guest
Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
« Reply #55 on: 17 Feb 2007, 20:03 »

Is that a grenade?
Logged

Andrea

  • Guest
Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
« Reply #56 on: 18 Feb 2007, 19:27 »

"Oh what that line??? Thats just a little scaring from the surgery" kind of a sex change operation joke
Logged

firekow

  • Guest
Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
« Reply #57 on: 21 Feb 2007, 18:55 »

"JESUS CHRIST, IT'S A LION!"
Logged

Stayc

  • Plantmonster
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 25
Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
« Reply #58 on: 22 Feb 2007, 01:43 »

"Hunny.  My IBS is acting up again."
Logged
You gotta walk before you crawl... reverse that.

WelshPete

  • Balloon animal serial killer
  • *
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 78
Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
« Reply #59 on: 23 Feb 2007, 06:09 »

Quote from: Duffman
"Are you ready for some Duff love?!?!?"

Duffman quotes are always class.....ooooh yeah!
Logged

OverdueKarma

  • Guest
Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
« Reply #60 on: 23 Feb 2007, 16:56 »

Guy climaxes and says "I peed."
Logged

maddness

  • FIGHT YOU
  • ***
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 435
  • What a curious and altogether strange place.
    • tweet, twit.
Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
« Reply #61 on: 27 Feb 2007, 15:21 »

You know, I think doing a screamo scream might scare the shit out of anyone who has just penetrated you/ been penetrated by you.  It's like a battlecry, but scarier.

I think, if it's a guy, it would be funny if as soon as he's in he starts screaming like he's terrified.

Or like he starts howling in pain and then say something along the lines of "Jesus! What do you have in there? Razor blades?!!"

You could wait until your both really into it, squeeze your eyes shut tight, and then say "Oh, God, mom, you'll always be the best."

Another fun one is to start screaming "No, daddy, no! Please don't!!!"
Logged
I SAY I only fuck donkeys but sometimes I fuck mules too
Fight Me, Bitches!

Andrea

  • Guest
Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
« Reply #62 on: 27 Feb 2007, 15:41 »

As soon as the guy dropped his pants the lady squeals in a high pitched tone "Awwwwwwwwwww aint that a cute little bugger" its like the verbal equivalent to being castrated lol.
Logged

TheMusicMan

  • Guest
Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
« Reply #63 on: 27 Feb 2007, 17:08 »

The biggest buzz-kill I've ever heard of is, "Thanks Granma!"
Logged

est

  • this is a test
  • Admin emeritus
  • Older than Moses
  • *
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 4,294
  • V O L L E Y B A L L
Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
« Reply #64 on: 01 Mar 2007, 16:08 »

"Hang on a sec, hon.  I think the other girls are finally here"
Logged

ItsAShameAboutRay

  • Guest
Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
« Reply #65 on: 02 Mar 2007, 10:40 »

"I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain."

"Resistance is futile!"
"Don't worry, won't take bit a minute or less."
Logged

FireStarter

  • Guest
Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
« Reply #66 on: 03 Mar 2007, 20:47 »

"OMG WTF REG PLEASE!!!!"

"Fire in the hole" (at the moment of male climax)

"Safty"

"Touchdown!"

"Hold on I gotta shit"

"Pika Piiii"

"After this, you're cooking dinner right?"

"RAPE!"

"It's ok if I used this condom before right?"

from an inside joke amongst my friends, an old roomate of mine had come out while we were playing DBZ budokai and asked how to put a condom on. The smokers took a quick smoke break so we could laugh outside his room's window.

Or, the time we called another friends room while he was in the middle of his first time and her's as well (she's now his wife so...) and held the phone up to the speakers we had playing James Brown's Sex Machine. When he unplugged the phone and answering machine we moved the speakers to the hallway and continued the play list which included Karma Kamelion Bad Boys, and of course the great classic amazing grace (they are both devote christians)
Logged

Stayc

  • Plantmonster
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 25
Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
« Reply #67 on: 05 Mar 2007, 22:51 »

"It's ok if I used this condom before right?"
Is it bad that I have been asked something similar to this before?  Haha.  Ew, and that makes me shiver at the thought of that.  Needless to say that was an interesting encounter. Haha.


Donald Trump a bitch with "You're fired"
Logged
You gotta walk before you crawl... reverse that.

Coming Home

  • Guest
Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
« Reply #68 on: 07 Mar 2007, 14:09 »

"Was that green stuff there before or after we started getting it on?"
Logged

Obaten

  • Not quite a lurker
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 9
    • http://halomapscouk.proboards50.com/
Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
« Reply #69 on: 08 Mar 2007, 16:55 »

after you insert, (for dudes)

"POW! right in the babymaker!"
Logged
Be nice to the newbie?

HerrFuhl

  • Guest
Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
« Reply #70 on: 08 Mar 2007, 19:03 »

"I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain."

If my girlfriend started quoting Dune during sex, I would know to marry her instantly. right fucking then.
Logged

Andrea

  • Guest
Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
« Reply #71 on: 09 Mar 2007, 17:21 »

Is it bad that I have been asked something similar to this before?  Haha.  Ew, and that makes me shiver at the thought of that.  Needless to say that was an interesting encounter. Haha.

I had a boyfriend at the time try and tell me it was ok to wash and reuse them. That prompted my hand to form a fist and punch him in the head. Needless to say I went home that night with out any lovin.
Logged

The extra letter

  • The German Chancellory building
  • ***
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 496
Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
« Reply #72 on: 10 Mar 2007, 23:13 »

Whoops, where did it get to?
Logged
Hush, may I ask you all for silence? The dreamer is still asleep.

Warshrike

  • Guest
Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
« Reply #73 on: 13 Mar 2007, 04:02 »

"I'm a Virgin"
"Great!! Now, you just need to show it to someone else or you die in seven days!!"
Or just "You will now die in seven days"
...
...
...
...
...
...
"BUKKAKE!!"
Logged

öde

  • Vulcan 3-D Chess Master
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3,767
Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
« Reply #74 on: 13 Mar 2007, 04:06 »

WHO'S GAY NOW, DAD?
Logged

Andrea

  • Guest
Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
« Reply #75 on: 14 Mar 2007, 09:12 »

"Is it in yet?" "Your over 18 right?" and after things are done" Your video was much better"
Logged

ampersandwitch

  • The Tickler
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 951
  • cuntstruck
Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
« Reply #76 on: 14 Mar 2007, 09:26 »

WHO'S GAY NOW, DAD?
Oh Gosh.
Logged

blackhelldemon

  • Guest
Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
« Reply #77 on: 17 Mar 2007, 00:40 »

I have one...

"WONDER TWIN POWERS ACTIVATE!"

or

"dont worry you will only feel a little prick and then its over" :-D
Logged

öde

  • Vulcan 3-D Chess Master
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3,767
Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
« Reply #78 on: 17 Mar 2007, 08:37 »

"GET THOSE IMAGES OUT OF YOUR SIGNATURE, THEY'RE NOT APPRECIATED HERE."

I imagine that would result in a very short relationship.
Logged

pirate

  • Guest
Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
« Reply #79 on: 17 Mar 2007, 12:52 »

Man, you look so much like my D&D seductress character, would you mind putting on this chainmail bikini next time?  Don't mind the sticky stuff, it's... metal polish.

I've had better.  And by better, I mean my hand.

man, you're so much better than either of my wives.  or my sister.
Logged

pirate

  • Guest
Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
« Reply #80 on: 19 Mar 2007, 00:45 »

Oops, I think some of my crabs just escaped into your butthole.
Logged

Uncle Fisty

  • Guest
Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
« Reply #81 on: 19 Mar 2007, 08:14 »

He he, "HADOKEN!"
Logged

pirate

  • Guest
Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
« Reply #82 on: 19 Mar 2007, 11:07 »

SHORYUKEN!
Logged

Thy Dungeonman

  • Bizarre cantaloupe phobia
  • **
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 209
Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
« Reply #83 on: 19 Mar 2007, 11:16 »

"And the Trogdor comes in the NIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!!!"
Logged

Andrea

  • Guest
Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
« Reply #84 on: 19 Mar 2007, 16:55 »

"WHOA FELLA WHOA" like a cowboy???
Logged

pirate

  • Guest
Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
« Reply #85 on: 19 Mar 2007, 23:56 »

Stop.  I can't do this.

It would suck to hear that, but I would totally respect someone's request nonetheless.
Logged

öde

  • Vulcan 3-D Chess Master
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3,767
Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
« Reply #86 on: 20 Mar 2007, 03:27 »

EEENF EEEENF
Logged

camelpimp

  • Guest
Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
« Reply #87 on: 20 Mar 2007, 08:50 »

"I love you
You love me
We're a happy family..."
Logged

Andrea

  • Guest
Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
« Reply #88 on: 21 Mar 2007, 05:33 »

"I love you
You love me
We're a happy family..."

I dont believe I could continue if this was said. I'd feel creepy like there was little kids around or somthing. ewwww
Logged

Switchblade

  • 1-800-SCABIES
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 859
  • WTF was I thinking when I picked this name?
Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
« Reply #89 on: 21 Mar 2007, 10:22 »

"Oh... oh God.... Uh... I'm so sorry... Look, I'd better go get a phone or something. Just stay calm! DON'T DIE ON ME!!" *run out of the room*
Logged
ROCK MORE, ROLL MORE, LURK MOAR

öde

  • Vulcan 3-D Chess Master
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3,767
Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
« Reply #90 on: 21 Mar 2007, 12:49 »

EEEEEENF
Logged

ampersandwitch

  • The Tickler
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 951
  • cuntstruck
Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
« Reply #91 on: 22 Mar 2007, 05:42 »

So, I hear you like mudkips.
Logged

Uncle Fisty

  • Guest
Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
« Reply #92 on: 22 Mar 2007, 10:25 »

The "Dean Scream."

Oh yeah, baby, oh, EEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Logged

PyreTroll

  • Guest
Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
« Reply #93 on: 22 Mar 2007, 19:40 »

"Damnit, this isn't working, it's too loose."

interpret that as you will, I imagine a guy saying it.
Logged

Thy Dungeonman

  • Bizarre cantaloupe phobia
  • **
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 209
Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
« Reply #94 on: 22 Mar 2007, 19:42 »

So, I hear you like mudkips.
I think it would be even worse if the response was "ya i liek mudkipz!"
Logged

Andrea

  • Guest
Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
« Reply #95 on: 23 Mar 2007, 05:07 »

"WOW you couldnt have been more of a virgin if you tried"
Logged

pirate

  • Guest
Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
« Reply #96 on: 23 Mar 2007, 07:57 »

"WOW you couldnt have been more of a virgin if you tried"
During sex dearie.  How about: "You're new at this, aren't you?"
Logged

PyreTroll

  • Guest
Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
« Reply #97 on: 23 Mar 2007, 08:00 »

"that was great, let's do it again."
"but I'm (not done yet/still going!)"
Logged

qtownstegy

  • Larger than most fish
  • **
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 112
  • I lie to myself constantly!
Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
« Reply #98 on: 23 Mar 2007, 08:08 »

I AM THE MUFFIN MAN!!!




Or no sound at all, just the faint whisper of crickets chirping outside the window.

"Does this feel good?"
"Do you feel anything?"
"We've been going at this for an hour now and you haven't moaned or even made a sound."
"Am I doing it wrong?"
"Why does your body feel so cold?"
Logged
Quote from: Blue Kitty
"Man, why is it that whores find my Myspace?  I mean, my name is the Blue Kitty, not, 'Hey whore, I will add you'"

Andrea

  • Guest
Re: Best/Worst things to say during sex?
« Reply #99 on: 23 Mar 2007, 12:42 »

During sex dearie.  How about: "You're new at this, aren't you?"

I was under the impression that the thread kind of morphed into best/worst thing to say at any point in the sexing be it pre coital(sp?), during, or post coital(sp?). My bad  :oops:
Logged
Pages: 1 [2] 3 4 ... 11   Go Up