Topic: Best/Worst things to say during sex? (Read 228238 times)

Kid Carnival · « **Reply #100 on:** 23 Mar 2007, 20:40 »

oddly enough, we had this discussion at the mall in the food court today. we used happy birthday grandma, and you've ruined sex for me.

most people didn't get what we were talking about.

therefore, they fail.

MechZilla · « **Reply #101 on:** 24 Mar 2007, 23:32 »

Word of advice. Never under ANY circumstances imitate Gollum whilst giving your significant other a good seeing to.
It goes right up there with the "8 Second" rule.

Andrea · « **Reply #102 on:** 25 Mar 2007, 18:16 »

Quote from: MechZilla on 24 Mar 2007, 23:32

Word of advice. Never under ANY circumstances imitate Gollum whilst giving your significant other a good seeing to.
It goes right up there with the "8 Second" rule.

OMG!!!!! Two of my guy friends where doing kind of a porn dialog using the Gollum voice and certain lines from Lord of The Rings. Such lines where " Go away and never come back" as if to say Gollum was trying to masterbate or "Thats MY precious(sp?)" while proceeding to touch their boy parts. Funniest thing i ever listened to.

kennapea · « **Reply #103 on:** 26 Mar 2007, 02:10 »

my ex pissed me off during one time, so in response i began to wonder aloud:
"i wonder if you mom has good sex. i mean, she's got a decent body. hell, I could picture her getting action, but she's so modest. what do you think?"
evidently, that's a mood-killer.

Andrea · « **Reply #104 on:** 26 Mar 2007, 17:23 »

Quote from: kennapea on 26 Mar 2007, 02:10

my ex pissed me off during one time, so in response i began to wonder aloud:
"i wonder if you mom has good sex. i mean, she's got a decent body. hell, I could picture her getting action, but she's so modest. what do you think?"
evidently, that's a mood-killer.

ahhh yes bringin up moma is never really a good move when theres lovin to be had.

A horrible thing:
"Wow who knew live bodies felt so good?"

Johnny Evilguy · « **Reply #105 on:** 30 Mar 2007, 14:30 »

Andrea, that depends if the other person is into necrophilia...

Worst thing to say during sex:

"I think we should see other people... right...wait...wait...any second now... right.... NOW."

"HELLLLOOOO IN THERE!!! CAN ANYONE HEAR ME..ME...Me...me me me me..?"

"Its Peanut butter jelly time! Peanut butter jelly time!.. *in sync with motions*

ApocalypticBunny · « **Reply #106 on:** 02 Apr 2007, 07:06 »

Quote from: The extra letter on 11 Feb 2007, 04:00

Singing the lyrics to a Top 40 song as loudly as you can.

Nobody else would get this, but

"PUUUUUULAZUUUUMMAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Woohoo! Another Mystical Ninja fan!

Johnny Evilguy · « **Reply #107 on:** 02 Apr 2007, 10:17 »

"For Tonight, WE DINE IN HELL!!"

Thy Dungeonman · « **Reply #108 on:** 02 Apr 2007, 10:37 »

"THIS...IS...CAKE TOWN!"

Nicky_Pot · « **Reply #109 on:** 02 Apr 2007, 22:47 »

For all you ladies out there, without regard for the sex of your partner : Just quote tank girl's "Daddy, are you sure this is right?"
You guys out there could do the same, i suppose...

Andrea · « **Reply #110 on:** 06 Apr 2007, 18:41 »

"Im just a sweet Transvestite from Transexual, Transilvania" gotta love Rocky Horror Picture show

Ã¶de · « **Reply #111 on:** 08 Apr 2007, 13:18 »

"Good boy, oh yeah, fetch!"

Mal42 · « **Reply #112 on:** 09 Apr 2007, 03:14 »

i'm thinking something like - "hey jeff? are you sure you want to bury this one?"

Finity4 · « **Reply #113 on:** 09 Apr 2007, 13:29 »

.... Fizzgig.

Most offensive or malicious: "You never learned how HIV was transmitted, right? Just checking."

Most ridiculous: "Ever meet someone with a prehensile penis? Congratulations!"

Most unrelated to the actual act, but taken in the context can ruin a situation: "I wonder if that was a chunk of dolphin in my tuna this morning..."

Philosophical: "Rape isn't consensual, right? Say yes."

Plageristic: "Happy birthday granddaughter! 5 is a big year."

Far too common: "* faint noise of snoring*"

Andrea · « **Reply #114 on:** 09 Apr 2007, 17:35 »

"If by steril you mean i washed up befor this then yes"

ApocalypticBunny · « **Reply #115 on:** 10 Apr 2007, 05:49 »

Quote from: Finity4 on 09 Apr 2007, 13:29

.... Fizzgig.

Most unrelated to the actual act, but taken in the context can ruin a situation: "I wonder if that was a chunk of dolphin in my tuna this morning..."

"I wonder if that was a chunk of tuna in my dolphin this morning..."

MechZilla · « **Reply #116 on:** 12 Apr 2007, 01:56 »

Just as a way to get rid of my last S.O. (she was getting annoying):

"I wonder what my ex-wife is doing right now....?"

Andrea · « **Reply #117 on:** 12 Apr 2007, 05:43 »

"Is this gonna take long? My girl/boyfriend may get jealouse"

NealsonLewison · « **Reply #118 on:** 12 Apr 2007, 09:46 »

"i stoped (some other activity) for this? what a waste of time!"

"im just doing this for the after sex cigarette"

"wait, whats your name again?"

"how much is this going to cost me anyway? i only have 5 bucks"

qtownstegy · « **Reply #119 on:** 12 Apr 2007, 14:49 »

I'm gonna reformat your hard drive so hard!

"I doubled my stamina there."
"We had sex for 30 seconds!"
"I know." *wink wink* "Just wait till next time and think about how satisfied you'll be."

NealsonLewison · « **Reply #120 on:** 12 Apr 2007, 21:37 »

Quote from: qtownstegy on 12 Apr 2007, 14:49

I'm gonna reformat your hard drive so hard!

"I doubled my stamina there."
"We had sex for 30 seconds!"
"I know." *wink wink* "Just wait till next time and think about how satisfied you'll be."

guess you wouldnt really say those DURRING sex... but obviously shortly after.... very shortly.....heh30seconds...heh i remember one of my friends after he had lost his virginity was like really sad cause it only lasted like 30 seconds........i laughed at him..... but he dates a model now.. so i geuss he has the upper hand now

Andrea · « **Reply #121 on:** 13 Apr 2007, 19:53 »

I think singing twinkle twinkle little star at the point of climas would be a bit o' a downer

Ã¶de · « **Reply #122 on:** 15 Apr 2007, 06:17 »

nikefido · « **Reply #123 on:** 15 Apr 2007, 16:55 »

Quote from: öde on 15 Apr 2007, 06:17

AnotherQCaddict · « **Reply #124 on:** 15 Apr 2007, 18:48 »

... that little sister thing is really sort of freaky.... they look enough like each other anyway... grahahahaHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!!! *charges for 30 episodes*

*explodes in a destructive release of deadly energy emitting a blue light shining in all directions, creating stark shadows on the other side of objects blocking the light, and then the shadows being destroyed by the destruction of the obstruction due to the energy's release*

NealsonLewison · « **Reply #125 on:** 15 Apr 2007, 21:18 »

Quote from: nikefido on 15 Apr 2007, 16:55

Quote from: öde on 15 Apr 2007, 06:17

HoboCoat · « **Reply #126 on:** 16 Apr 2007, 10:25 »

Hehehe... they do look like they're related sometimes.

"Is it in yet?" is a classic...

Andrea · « **Reply #127 on:** 16 Apr 2007, 16:00 »

"YEEAAAAAAAAAHH BOYEEEEEE ITS FLAVA FLAAAAAAAAAAAAVE"

Johnny Evilguy · « **Reply #128 on:** 16 Apr 2007, 21:08 »

The pic wins the thread hands down,

Damn, what issue number is that panel from, I don't remember what the original text says... unless that is the original text

*cowers in the corner*

Ã¶de · « **Reply #129 on:** 18 Apr 2007, 02:13 »

848

"Then do what bost!"

"I'm the guy with all the bird tattoos!"

Rilder · « **Reply #130 on:** 18 Apr 2007, 08:12 »

"Not Again"

"Oh Rufus"

"Blllllllllllllllllaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggg"

"Yep deffinatly gay/lesbian"

WelshPete · « **Reply #131 on:** 18 Apr 2007, 10:13 »

You wanna grade the person on the sex.

Quote

You showed a good level of viarety in positions though you need to improve on carrying them out. Overall the experience was pretty average though you did put alot of effort into it.

Overal Grade - B

Points for improvement: Perfect some of the positions performed.

Mr_Seth · « **Reply #132 on:** 18 Apr 2007, 11:31 »

"Ohhh, yeah. Shoot me full of that AIDS. Gimme that gonnorhea. SCREW ME WITH YOUR SYPHILIS!" When the other individual breaks off and says they don't have any STDs, reply "Phbbt. Then what's the point?", get dressed, and leave.

Andrea · « **Reply #133 on:** 19 Apr 2007, 08:47 »

Start squealing like a pig and yelling "SUWEEEEEE(sp?)" or any barn yard noises would work.

the-artful-dodger-rodger · « **Reply #134 on:** 19 Apr 2007, 12:59 »

I still like "saving throw" throws a d-20 it lands you get a 3.

second choice "merry christmas bitches" or "Hot pootie bless my soul I really love that rock'n'roll"

Barmymoo · « **Reply #135 on:** 19 Apr 2007, 15:16 »

Nitpicking here but isn't Dora OLDER than Marten? Don't know why I thought that but there's an idea at the back of my head that she is...

Mal42 · « **Reply #136 on:** 20 Apr 2007, 04:56 »

Fizgig rocks.

hehe that brings me to a good one...

"just tell me your legal."

Barmymoo · « **Reply #137 on:** 20 Apr 2007, 16:43 »

Here's why I think Dora's older!

436

Thy Dungeonman · « **Reply #138 on:** 20 Apr 2007, 16:47 »

I think this one makes it more obvious.

http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=144

Andrea · « **Reply #139 on:** 27 Apr 2007, 16:52 »

Quote from: the-artful-dodger-rodger on 19 Apr 2007, 12:59

I still like "saving throw" throws a d-20 it lands you get a 3.

second choice "merry christmas bitches" or "Hot pootie bless my soul I really love that rock'n'roll"

My two most favorite musicals

cgarci21 · « **Reply #140 on:** 07 May 2007, 13:30 »

Quote from: Andrea on 14 Mar 2007, 09:12

"Is it in yet?" "Your over 18 right?" and after things are done" Your video was much better"

Someone actually had the nerve to ask me my age right after insertion. talk about buzzkill!

Also anthing in Yoda speak like "In you I am"

blooflame · « **Reply #141 on:** 08 May 2007, 20:57 »

The appropriate place to add a favorite sex-related joke, I think...

"Your tits are too small and your pussy's too tight!"

"Get off my back!"

Stan · « **Reply #142 on:** 09 May 2007, 10:09 »

http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/talk-crazy-sex.php

"Pandora's oral box had been thrown open and out came a sometimes disturbing stream of verbal diarrhea. I would have broken up with her about the time she instructed me to, "kill me, please kill me," in the dying voice of one of the colonists from LV-426, but by God, the sex was amazing. She was really getting into it and I couldn't tell her to stop now that she finally seemed to be enjoying herself."

Pshha · « **Reply #143 on:** 09 May 2007, 14:39 »

"I'm missing world of warcraft for this"

"Wow these sure work great, I'm glad I had that surgery" (Uni-sexual, personalize to taste)

"YOU JUST GOT PUNK'D"

MechZilla · « **Reply #144 on:** 10 May 2007, 23:06 »

Quote from: cgarci21 on 07 May 2007, 13:30

Quote from: Andrea on 14 Mar 2007, 09:12
"Is it in yet?" "Your over 18 right?" and after things are done" Your video was much better"
Someone actually had the nerve to ask me my age right after insertion. talk about buzzkill!

Also anthing in Yoda speak like "In you I am"

Nonono.....

"Sleep in the wetspot I won't!"
"You like that like that little green thing, do you?"
"Bend over and show me your Dark Side!"

Bugger...someone remind me to upload "Things Yoda Would Say in Bed".

kamorth · « **Reply #145 on:** 14 May 2007, 21:51 »

"Your Daddy who is?"

Rocketman · « **Reply #146 on:** 15 May 2007, 09:05 »

"These will be your last moments"

Pshha · « **Reply #147 on:** 15 May 2007, 14:38 »

"My sister your not."

Clobbersaurus · « **Reply #148 on:** 22 May 2007, 02:28 »

"hold on i need to queef"

Alphapenguin · « **Reply #149 on:** 03 Jun 2007, 03:44 »

Start a countdown to the moment of orgasm.
"10... 9... 8..." etc., until finally...

"BLASTOFF!!!"

THESE FORUMS NOW CLOSED (read only)

Author Topic: Best/Worst things to say during sex? (Read 228238 times)

Kid Carnival

MechZilla

Andrea

kennapea

Andrea

Johnny Evilguy

ApocalypticBunny

Johnny Evilguy

Nicky_Pot

Andrea

Mal42

Finity4

Andrea

ApocalypticBunny

MechZilla

Andrea

NealsonLewison

NealsonLewison

Andrea

nikefido

NealsonLewison

HoboCoat

Andrea

Johnny Evilguy

Rilder

Mr_Seth

Andrea

Mal42

Andrea

blooflame

Stan

Pshha

MechZilla

kamorth

Pshha