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Author Topic: Ask The Makeout Hobo  (Read 26445 times)

AIQ88

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Re: Ask The Makeout Hobo
« Reply #50 on: 16 May 2007, 02:41 »

Dear make out hobo

How do you describe the sexiest and most pleasurable kiss? How can i give it to her? Teach me please
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Re: Ask The Makeout Hobo
« Reply #51 on: 19 May 2007, 11:13 »

Dear makeout hobo... Is that the way uhuh uhuh, you like it uhuh uhuh?
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Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

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Re: Ask The Makeout Hobo
« Reply #52 on: 19 May 2007, 20:33 »

Dear Makeout Hobo,

Why aren't you answering any questions?  Have you abandoned us, leaving us to try and figure out our lives by ourselves?
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Re: Ask The Makeout Hobo
« Reply #53 on: 28 May 2007, 23:57 »

Dear MH,

I am considering a cross-country road trip with indeterminate destinations, a-la what-you-did-last-year-except-with-fewer-makeouts-because-i-lack-your-charisma-and-skills-and-also-a-van. What are your suggestions, hints, secrets, and tips?

Love,
Calenlass.
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Re: Ask The Makeout Hobo
« Reply #54 on: 29 May 2007, 01:40 »

Dear Makeout Hobo,

What are some tips to help me break my dependence on heavily-salted, processed, pre-packaged snack foods?  I would like to begin living a healthier, less sedentary home life.

-Ryan
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You just came back to shit in my heart, didn't you Ryan?

M4

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Re: Ask The Makeout Hobo
« Reply #55 on: 29 May 2007, 05:27 »

Dear Hobo,

I love crazy chicks. We're talking Epic level, last Final Fantasy boss battle crazy.  Love 'um. Am I doomed to a life of emotional suffering, constant confusion, and awesome make-outs?
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Re: Ask The Makeout Hobo
« Reply #56 on: 29 May 2007, 13:03 »

Hey!  Me too!
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SeanBateman

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Re: Ask The Makeout Hobo
« Reply #57 on: 16 Jun 2007, 19:27 »

Don't sleep with him. Granting immediate access to your body will lessen his desire to come closer to your soul through future intimacy.

Dear Hobo,

How do I turn the part where I do this into sexytime kissings?

-JC
Make him, or her in your case(or possiblt hhim, I dunno your story) long for the eventual embrace. Make them desire nothing else, be consumed at all timesby thoughts of sexytime kissings. When the time is right, and you will know, as every man and woman knows, when the time is right, sexy time kisses will simply happen. It is not a thing you can control, but it is a process you can speed up.
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SeanBateman

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Re: Ask The Makeout Hobo
« Reply #58 on: 16 Jun 2007, 19:30 »

Kisses while telling the female that she should stay in the kitchen?

 Dear Hobo,

 Guess my deepest fantasy.


Plowing Rod Huggins in the ass as Ray Smuckles looks on and criticizes your technique
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SeanBateman

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Re: Ask The Makeout Hobo
« Reply #59 on: 16 Jun 2007, 19:37 »

How can I have fun this summer?

Don't do drugs, do talk to pretty girls. Don't be lazy, do play sports with your homies in the park. Don't be discouraged, do keep trying to flirt eeven if you get shot down. Don't focus on how soon summer is ending, focus on dancing the night away. Don't light things on fire, do light a fire that burns all the impurities from your soul, leaving you better, strnonger, and worthier to fae the next school year.
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calenlass

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Re: Ask The Makeout Hobo
« Reply #60 on: 16 Jun 2007, 21:00 »

Set yourself on fire. Duh.
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Re: Ask The Makeout Hobo
« Reply #61 on: 16 Jun 2007, 22:19 »

That sounds kind of painful.
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Re: Ask The Makeout Hobo
« Reply #62 on: 16 Jun 2007, 22:57 »

dear makeout hobo,





how can fix  :cry: :cry: :cry:
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Re: Ask The Makeout Hobo
« Reply #63 on: 16 Jun 2007, 23:03 »

Set yourself on fire. Duh.
Set yourself on fire. Duh.
Set yourself on fire. Duh.
Set yourself on fire. Duh.
Set yourself on fire. Duh.


Cuz then toorn back black (washington dc) and be  :mrgreen:  :mrgreen:  :mrgreen: once moore (michael)
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Re: Ask The Makeout Hobo
« Reply #64 on: 16 Jun 2007, 23:27 »

kieffer, how do i make girls like me?
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Quote
[20:29] Quietus: Haha oh shit Morbid Anal Fog
[20:29] Quietus: I had forgotten about them

doki

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Re: Ask The Makeout Hobo
« Reply #65 on: 17 Jun 2007, 17:12 »

dear makeout hobo

how do i convince myself to dance to shitty music for a hot girl at a club, or alternatively how do i convince myself that a concert is filled with women who like what i like and wouldn't freak out if i approached?
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SeanBateman

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Re: Ask The Makeout Hobo
« Reply #66 on: 20 Jun 2007, 13:52 »

Dear Makeout Hobo,

How do I become an unstoppable date machine, and have ladies drawn to me in hoards by some unseen force?

Man you guys have a pretty one track mind, huh.
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SeanBateman

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Re: Ask The Makeout Hobo
« Reply #67 on: 20 Jun 2007, 13:53 »

Dear Hobo,

Was I right to abort the 'How many roads must a man walk down' joke that I was halfway through typing? And did I just fail miserably by asking?

You have done well. The joke has been made many times, and it can be a good joke. This however, was not your moment. When it comes, you will know. If you miss it, only then will you have failed.
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SeanBateman

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Re: Ask The Makeout Hobo
« Reply #68 on: 20 Jun 2007, 13:58 »

Dear Hobo

I recently came into super powers and was wondering whether I should use them for good or for evil?

Inlander answered this question very well.
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Re: Ask The Makeout Hobo
« Reply #69 on: 20 Jun 2007, 15:16 »

There are scouts from the dodgers sitting next to me. I have not played organized ball in five years. Do i have a chance at teh big leagues, hobo?
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Wait so you're letting something that happened 10 years ago ruin your quality of life? What are you, America? :psyduck:

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Re: Ask The Makeout Hobo
« Reply #70 on: 26 Jun 2007, 10:42 »

Dear Makeout Hobo,

Do you remember that movie Die Hard, where the guy lost his shoes and he had to walk across a bunch of broken glass?

That was cool, huh?

And also, is it not funny when one gets the last Fenway Frank in all the Fenway, leaving their hungry friend cold and frankless?
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JON MADE ME GAY

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Re: Ask The Makeout Hobo
« Reply #71 on: 26 Jun 2007, 11:08 »

Who said i was cold?
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Wait so you're letting something that happened 10 years ago ruin your quality of life? What are you, America? :psyduck:

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Re: Ask The Makeout Hobo
« Reply #72 on: 26 Jun 2007, 11:10 »

Any day without a Fenway Frank is a cold day.

Beyond that, it was fucking cold up there. I wanted to set a center fielder on fire for warmth.
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I've decided to give up psychology and become a peacock
Quote from: Tommydski in Gabbly
JON MADE ME GAY

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Re: Ask The Makeout Hobo
« Reply #73 on: 26 Jun 2007, 13:00 »

Dear Makeout Hobo,

Lately I have been having the problem of verbally blogging to people. If someone asks how I am doing, I will actually tell them. Obviously, this sometimes makes regular interaction awkward. How can I stop this seemingly uncontrollable urge to angst all over everyone? I am 21, not 13! (See, I am even whining now)

-Suddenly Regressing
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What about orgasmic chemistry.

I can expand the definition of that if anyone wants to roll around to my Fortress of Love.

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Re: Ask The Makeout Hobo
« Reply #74 on: 27 Jun 2007, 10:06 »

Dear Hobo of the Makeouts,
    I am planning a trip with a ladyfolk who is not my own, but whom I want to be my own very badly. Should we go north to a friend's cabin in Vermont or west to the wild blue yonder?

<3 Sythe
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Re: Ask The Makeout Hobo
« Reply #75 on: 27 Jun 2007, 10:42 »

Go West.  Unless you plan on being bored as hell.  But I guess that depends on what you're going to be doing.  If you're going camping, then it doesn't really matter.  Vermont's gorgeous and all.  But there's basically nothing to do.
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Patatat

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Re: Ask The Makeout Hobo
« Reply #76 on: 27 Jun 2007, 15:51 »

Dear Makeout Sage.

I have a problem. Its hard for me to get a girlfriend. Not because I don't know how, to get a girl. I get girls fine, and thats the problem. I will start talking to a girl, and then I will start talking to another. Or I go to a party, get drunk, and sleep with a girl. I have tried not to do it, but no matter what it happens. I used to be happy about my ability to do this, but now its wearing me down and I want to just have a girlfriend for atleast a lil while. So maybe you have some advice on how not to do this.

Thank you.
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Re: Ask The Makeout Hobo
« Reply #77 on: 27 Jun 2007, 16:10 »

In the absence of the makeout sage, I'll handle this one:

Keep it in your pants.

Problem solved, you're welcome.
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I've decided to give up psychology and become a peacock
Quote from: Tommydski in Gabbly
JON MADE ME GAY

philosopherqueen

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Re: Ask The Makeout Hobo
« Reply #78 on: 27 Jun 2007, 16:13 »

Keep it in your pants.

Problem solved, you're welcome.

qft
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Patatat

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Re: Ask The Makeout Hobo
« Reply #79 on: 27 Jun 2007, 17:34 »

In the absence of the makeout sage, I'll handle this one:

Keep it in your pants.

Problem solved, you're welcome.

Yeah, my in-ability to keep it in my pants is the problem. So explain how do I control myself.
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Cartilage Head

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Re: Ask The Makeout Hobo
« Reply #80 on: 27 Jun 2007, 18:48 »

YEAH DUDE YOU ARE COOL.
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Re: Ask The Makeout Hobo
« Reply #81 on: 27 Jun 2007, 19:23 »

Yeah, my in-ability to keep it in my pants is the problem. So explain how do I control myself.

Suck it up and stop fucking people. I don't see where that becomes complicated. If you get drunk and fuck indiscriminately, stop drinking. If you're hanging out with sluts and can't control yourself around them, stop hanging around with them. I hope to Hell you're being completely and utterly sarcastic in this request, because I can't understand how it can be that difficult to choose choose not to be promiscuous. If you're having a legitimate problem with this and can't reign it in under your own willpower, see a therapist.
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I've decided to give up psychology and become a peacock
Quote from: Tommydski in Gabbly
JON MADE ME GAY

steluta

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Re: Ask The Makeout Hobo
« Reply #82 on: 28 Jun 2007, 02:12 »

Hi all,

I am a spam bot and have been banned.

Love and muffins,

Stetula
« Last Edit: 28 Jun 2007, 08:43 by est »
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Cartilage Head

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Re: Ask The Makeout Hobo
« Reply #83 on: 28 Jun 2007, 04:05 »

 SMOKE.
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Re: Ask The Makeout Hobo
« Reply #84 on: 28 Jun 2007, 04:08 »

CIGARETTES.
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Re: Ask The Makeout Hobo
« Reply #85 on: 28 Jun 2007, 07:07 »

CIGARETTES FOR THE SMOKING
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Patatat

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Re: Ask The Makeout Hobo
« Reply #86 on: 29 Jun 2007, 06:19 »

Yeah, my in-ability to keep it in my pants is the problem. So explain how do I control myself.

Suck it up and stop fucking people. I don't see where that becomes complicated. If you get drunk and fuck indiscriminately, stop drinking. If you're hanging out with sluts and can't control yourself around them, stop hanging around with them. I hope to Hell you're being completely and utterly sarcastic in this request, because I can't understand how it can be that difficult to choose choose not to be promiscuous. If you're having a legitimate problem with this and can't reign it in under your own willpower, see a therapist.


I don't even know why you took me serious for a second.
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Re: Ask The Makeout Hobo
« Reply #87 on: 29 Jun 2007, 06:26 »

I actually have (I hope had) the same problem so I am unusually sympathetic.

The way I dealt with was to quit drinking and move to rural Scotland. I am sorry that is not much of a solution.
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Patatat

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Re: Ask The Makeout Hobo
« Reply #88 on: 29 Jun 2007, 06:54 »

Eh, getting drunk and screwing random girls (or boys) eventually loses its fun. I never considered it problem. I just read a bunch of people talking about their inability to get women, I was curious what advice would be given to a philanderer.

I mean even though I don't go a party and try to get drunk, and sleep with some girl. I still have a reputation as a drunken man whore. I guess that is the price one pays for having a lil' too much fun.

I am moving to Chicago soon, so it should be a nice new fresh start.
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tommydski

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Re: Ask The Makeout Hobo
« Reply #89 on: 29 Jun 2007, 07:14 »

Yeah, that sounds more like you.

Good luck with Chicago. They have great music and an excellent Roller Derby League.
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Quote from: Ozymandias
One minute we're playing Mario Kart, the next my penis is in your mouth - it just happens.

Patatat

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Re: Ask The Makeout Hobo
« Reply #90 on: 29 Jun 2007, 07:34 »

They have a roller derby league, haha thats awesome.
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SeanBateman

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Re: Ask The Makeout Hobo
« Reply #91 on: 29 Jun 2007, 09:13 »

Eh, getting drunk and screwing random girls (or boys) eventually loses its fun. I never considered it problem. I just read a bunch of people talking about their inability to get women, I was curious what advice would be given to a philanderer.

I mean even though I don't go a party and try to get drunk, and sleep with some girl. I still have a reputation as a drunken man whore. I guess that is the price one pays for having a lil' too much fun.

I am moving to Chicago soon, so it should be a nice new fresh start.

I used to have pretty much the same problem, actually. Pretty much all of my friends from back then are still completely shocked when I tell them I've had a girlfriend for over a year, and a lot of the girls are still hesitant to hang out with me 1 on 1 if I ask them, since they assume something will happen. I did a lot of things during that time that I am pretty ashamed of, and yeah, the people you know will pretty much always judge you as that guy, no matter how long you stay away, or how much you change. You could come back in 4 years a bhuddist monk, and they will still assume you want to get drunk and fuck everything that moves.

So yeah. There really is no way to change it! It's a thing that's done purely inside oneself. I cut back by finding someone I cared about to the point that for the most part, pursuing other girls just wasn't worth the time. I was drunk, at a party in San Francisco about a week ago, and I was chilling in the hot tub with some friends and a couple of people I didn't know. I was bouncing back in conversation between two very pretty girls, and after everyone went up to the house to change and continue drinking where it was warm, my friend and I decided to leave. As I was going, one of the girls grabbed my hand and said "where are you going? You should totally stay, you'll have fun, I promise." And then in the elevator my friend told me that "____(the other girl) totally would have fucked you."

See the point here is that just cuz you can do something doesn't always mean you should. I dunno about you but I started finding a serious lack of enjoyment in a lot of my encounters, almost always afterwards, and sometimes even during. I'd be sitting there, doing whatever, thinking about how empty and pointless it was, how we'd  exchange numbers but never call each other.

So I guess the way I cut back, or I stopped, is I started thinking of that sickening empty feeling I always got after before hand. Realizing just how little I was going to enjoy the after effects made it much easier to avoid causing them all together.

Sorry for treating your joke reply seriously patatat
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Patatat

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Re: Ask The Makeout Hobo
« Reply #92 on: 29 Jun 2007, 16:26 »

Yeah, I am not at the point where I can resist the offer, but I don't look for it. I have walked away a few times. Just because I know that I will hurt the girl in the end, because some girls got it in their head that if they fuck a guy he will date them. Which is the exact opposite. A lot of guys won't date a girl if they get it instantly. Congratulations on finding a girl that makes you happy. I hope the same for me happens soon enough. Until then, I guess I will just enjoy the novelty of being able to finally say "Wanna come back to my place."
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Re: Ask The Makeout Hobo
« Reply #93 on: 01 Jul 2007, 11:41 »

And also, is it not funny when one gets the last Fenway Frank in all the Fenway, leaving their hungry friend cold and frankless?

DiceK: "rerish, nooooo" he shouted and put the flank on the ground and kicked it into bushes. "i so hungrryyy" Manny say. "but no moneys"

DiceK: "lol sorry all out" spoke the Bubble Boy, "no mor monkey jupmin on the bed"
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Wait so you're letting something that happened 10 years ago ruin your quality of life? What are you, America? :psyduck:

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Re: Ask The Makeout Hobo
« Reply #94 on: 03 Jul 2007, 22:01 »

*Sigh* I was worried it would come to this...


Dear Makeout Hobo,

          Is it morally wrong to develop legitimate feelings for a close friend? And if not, how would you recommend acting upon them?
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I've decided to give up psychology and become a peacock
Quote from: Tommydski in Gabbly
JON MADE ME GAY

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Re: Ask The Makeout Hobo
« Reply #95 on: 07 Jul 2007, 10:38 »

Don't do eet, Jon. The girl will cheat on you and move to Wisconsin!

I mean, that's what happened to me.
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Wait so you're letting something that happened 10 years ago ruin your quality of life? What are you, America? :psyduck:

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Re: Ask The Makeout Hobo
« Reply #96 on: 13 Jan 2008, 23:50 »

Dear Hobo,

What the fuck happened to this thread? It was glorious in it's saavy yet down-to-earth sexing advice.
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PacoSees

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Re: Ask The Makeout Hobo
« Reply #97 on: 14 Jan 2008, 00:56 »

Appropriate resurrection?

Yes.

Dear Hobo,
Why must I be a jackass for a minimum of 6 hours a day, with an additional 3 hours for each meal missed that day?

-Paco
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Re: Ask The Makeout Hobo
« Reply #98 on: 14 Jan 2008, 02:33 »

Next week: Jeff Newguy bumps the 'Ask Richie Cunningham' Thread.

Stay Tuned!
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Re: Ask The Makeout Hobo
« Reply #99 on: 14 Jan 2008, 02:58 »

The suspence, it is killing me!
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