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Author Topic: plans for the inevitable undead uprising  (Read 160723 times)

Blue Kitty

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plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« on: 04 Nov 2007, 21:09 »

So as not to get the Irrational Fears thread de-railed any further, I suggest we move zombie survival discussions to this thread.  What sort of wepaons would you make, what would be your plan, where would you go?  THink about it, it could mean the difference between walking normal and walking dead


yes, I know we have done this before, but that was a long time ago
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Ozymandias

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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #1 on: 04 Nov 2007, 21:16 »

I've actually discussed this with my roommates. We have a flat-roof house, so we're planning on keeping a tent and various supplies on the roof. We have a machete, a couple of baseball bats, and an axe inside the house for a quick getaway.

I want to get an old VW bus and outfit it with weapons and security measures, though. I know, big cars go against the zombie survival guide, but I don't want a motorcycle.
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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #2 on: 04 Nov 2007, 21:20 »

My dad pilots large container ships for a living, so I would most likely gather my neighbors (as long as they weren't zombies yet) and whoever else I could find and get the hell on the boat. There's enough food on there too to feed a community of people fleeing a zombie uprising. And if we ran out, we could just start opening the containers to see what was there. And if somehow the zombies got aboard, there are enough weapons to fend them off.
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Ozymandias

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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #3 on: 04 Nov 2007, 21:24 »

Getting "whoever else you can find" is such a bad idea. In the event of zombie emergency, there are two types of people: the ready and the dangerous. Anyone who is not ready is liable to kill you and everyone you're with. A zombie is predictable. "Run/Shamble. Bite. Moan." A panicky human is death.
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Slick

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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #4 on: 04 Nov 2007, 21:30 »

Short term:
  • Weapons! Clubs and sticks are good, but you really need something you can drive into a skull or with enough accuracy to get through an eye socket
  • Fortifications! Malls maybe, or some of the cool university buildings
  • Supplies! Military surplus, sporting goods stores are good, police station is probably compromised and too hot until after the initial outbreak

Long term:
  • Food sources:
    • Abandoned farms are good, but probably vulnerable. The further north the better, I would think, just for the low population.
    • Hunting could keep useful shooting skills up, but wastes valuable ammunition. Trapping would be better.
    • Fishing is good, and fish can be sun-dried to keep, but man, that's a lot of fish to eat.
    • Scavenging only works for so long, but hitting dried foods can give you a decent supply to fall back on
  • Housing:
    • Abandoned farms/lands are nice, but only if secure. An island with farming land would be ideal, but mass-walls can work.
    • Line of sight around a home is probably essential, to know what you're up against regularly.
    • I'm just kind of in love with the idea of living up north, farming in the summer, and maintaining a warm home in the winter

I'm still thinking my best bet is to get my sailing friend and booking it out to the sea. Anyone on the Great Lakes/east coast, we should co-ordinate so we can pick you up or you can add to a flotilla.
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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #5 on: 04 Nov 2007, 21:40 »



This is an ocean fort. It is a couple of miles off the coast from the Isle of Wight. I own a boat. In the event that we have zombies that can walk across the seabed or the Isle of Wight is somehow infected otherwise, my plan is to get a good selection of hand to hand weapons together, attempt to acquire some rifles and shotguns, hopefully successfully, and a good store of canned and otherwise long-life food, and hoof over there. At least one further food trip would be made immediately, whilst the zombie uprising was still ongoing. I would take in a certain number of other survivors apart from family/friends, based on a careful analysis of survivors and food. The rifles and shotguns, hunting and target weapons ineffective against zombies, would mainly be used for fending off those deemed unworthy, or other such threats. Fishing would hopefully pad out food stocks a bit. Scavenging from coastal towns and stranded boats also an option. Ideally acquire necessary supplies (compost, seeds, maybe some animals) to set up a small-scale farming operation on the fort itself.

I guess I have no good plans for my current location in student accomodation in Bournemouth. I own an axe. I know how to use it in combat. I guess that is as far as my plans go. Actually, I would probably go to Poole, steal a boat, and enact this plan.
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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #6 on: 04 Nov 2007, 21:42 »

i ain't gonna team up with anyone in the event of a zombie uprising unless they can assure me with a straight face that they are willing to shoot anyone, no matter who they are, in the event that they get bitten. there will be zero tolerance for "but he's my friend, a bloo bloo bloooo" nonsense. that's how you DIE. i would want any of you to do the same for me*.


*please make sure first that i have actually been bitten and become a zombie before shooting
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Ozymandias

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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #7 on: 04 Nov 2007, 21:47 »

Slick, you're thinking well, but you've missed the middle step of getting around. If you're in a rural area, keeping on the move would be easy and you're not likely to encounter much resistance from the undead, so getting to a long-term point to hold out isn't much of a problem.

But, if you're in a city, you can't move faster than the person next to you. Getting anywhere in the city is going to be nigh impossible. Cars are useless and running leaves you vulnerable. Unless you are a le parkour master, you're effectively fucked 30 feet outside of your front door, either stopped by a horde of the undead or a mob of stupid, stupid humans.

Unfortunately, my own plan is only effective in the short term. I've considered ways to keep alive for longer than a week, but it would require a mad dash across my town. Lucky, it's small and open enough that I think I could survive but, without a vehicle, there's no way I'm getting out.

Also, I claim Tania for my team when this day comes. Staying alive is cold business; the jaws of the undead are colder.
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Johnny C

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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #8 on: 04 Nov 2007, 21:50 »

Don't isolate yourself anywhere that you can't escape. Khar's is a good idea. RWS' is bad. What if there are zombies on board the ship, or one of your survivors turns zomboid on you? You might get caught by surprise and lose a few of your comrades to zombification. Then what? Get into a lifeboat? You're in the middle of the Atlantic, effectively screwed.

With Khar's ocean fort, you have at least one handy escape route.
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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #9 on: 04 Nov 2007, 22:00 »

Fuck y'all, I'm joining the zombies. Brains are delicious.
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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #10 on: 04 Nov 2007, 22:03 »

There's an incredibly securable building near me and it will be very likely to be more or less empty ... it's an air conditioning plant with a 40-foot corrugated steel wall around it, and the (massive, heavy) doors are always open.  Locked, it's completely impenetrable and has an open area big enough to land a chopper in (huge plus).  If you have something that can filter/purify water, you're basically set (it's an air conditioning plant and uses a massive amount of water but I wouldn't trust it), but there's no food sources nearby (there's a supermarket across a bridge from it but it would be very difficult to loot without putting oneself in massive danger).  Hopefully I would have enough food on hand to chill there for a few days, and I'd have a few friends who know about the place with me too.  And it's right next to a freight track that runs through (and out of) the city and is pretty much totally inaccessible to pedestrians except at the point next to my anti-zombie fort.  Downsides: no sniper capacity once targets get within 20 feet (the wall blocks the line of sight).  Also, the  outer wall doors are huge, so you can't fight zombies one at a time if they're outside and you want to get out.

The main thing about this building, aside from the massive impregnable wall around it and the chopper-landing capacity, is the fact that I have never seen a human being in it that I did not lead to it myself.  The likelihood that it will be inhabited by either living or dead is extremely slim, unless I'm not the only person who knows that it's the place to be (and the only other people who know that, as far as I know, are the ones I personally introduced to it).  It's fully operational 24/7 but I've never actually seen people working in it ... and there's certainly nothing in it that would attract zombies.  The only problem would arise if someone actually found it and holed up and wouldn't let me in ... but I'd beeline to it, I know on-foot short-cuts to it through low-danger areas, and I only live a 5-10 minute walk from it ... I'd totally get there first.

It's also right next to a highway, which probably helps a little.

You guys should look it up.  It's called the Module VII Chiller Plant, it's right next to the Grays Ferry bridge in West Philly, and it's totally the place to be if you're ever in Philly during a zombie apocalypse.

(I will actually probably be dead since I have no weapons and minimal food on me at any given point in time and I don't know the locations of any gun stores at all).
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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #11 on: 04 Nov 2007, 22:13 »

Guns are not readily accessible down here... I keep a cane near my bed so that I can beat anything to death when I need to (it's a steel rod with a skull handle, I can get a pretty good swing with it).

I'm in an apartment on the outskirts of the city itself so I'm probably not in the best place for the Zombie Apocalypse. My plan would be to get my brother and my girlfriend and get ourselves to my friend's place up in the mountains. It's more defendable and she has CCTV around her house. Other than that I'm not sure. I was considering getting out into the desert because we'd have good lines of sight but I don't know. I'd probably be fucked.
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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #12 on: 04 Nov 2007, 22:22 »

As anyone who's read The Walking Dead will know, you find a prison, clear out the zombie inmates, hole up, and nothing can go wrong.

Nothing.

Emaline

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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #13 on: 04 Nov 2007, 22:55 »

According to a guy I know, the boat plan is not so great

(n/a) (12:41:32 AM): That might be a good idea and it might be a bad idea.
(n/a) (12:42:32 AM): Giant flotillas of the living dead, their bloated bodies thrown together and drifting across the seas in deadly sheets kilometers square...
andlemonade (12:38:18 AM): Well, I doubt most zombies can swim(Hell, if you go by Zombies Ate My Neighbors standards, water will kill the zombies. But if you go by that standard, then drinking mysterious purple liquids will totally turn you into a monter for a short period of time!), and I doubt they'd be smart enough to piece together a zombie body raft
andlemonade (12:38:41 AM): However, if a zombie were to get on the ship, I'd be more than screwed
(n/a) (12:44:57 AM): No, no.  Just think of how debris clumps together in water.
(n/a) (12:45:25 AM): Now think of a million god damned corpses bloated with every imaginable foul glass following suit.
(n/a) (12:49:24 AM): Mountains would be a good bet.
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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #14 on: 04 Nov 2007, 23:20 »

I was going to mention the prison thing.  it really is a spectacular idea if you can get along with its previous tenants without making them kill you.  Running water!  Foods! Criminals!  it's a one stop zombie apocolypse holiday getaway.
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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #15 on: 04 Nov 2007, 23:26 »

Well being in Michigan where we love guns, and wide open spaces. Zombies don't really stand a chance, everyone owns a gun.

My plan though. Due to the fact that I am up in the middle of the night, which we all know is when the Zombie break out happens, I will be one of the first to hear about the zombie outbreak. I will quickly make it a few blocks to my friends house, of course carrying an ax. He has enough guns, and tactical gear for us to fend off a small army for several days. We load up, and get in a 4x4 truck with all of the gear, and head up North. Where his family owns a cabin. Which in reality is what used to be an old Military base. Its not that big, but good enough for a small community of survivors to live in, and it has a barb-wired fence, and open areas around it. That way zombies can't hide.

Its also in a remote part of Michigan, which is only about 2-3 hours away. No one really lives in the area, so it would take a long time for the outbreak (As small as it would be) to reach that area. By that time we would have so many defenses, counter-measures, and supplies set-up we could last for years.

The only problem would be not the zombies, but the fallout effect after the zombie apocalypse. Having to fend off looters. By this time I will hope to have created a small community, with a big enough militia to fend off anyone who might try to steal our supplies. If our plans fail, and we get over-taken. We will just take a small group, and escape while the rest of everyone else dies. Then we will wander, and become raiders ourselves.

If nothing happens after a while, we will circulate ourselves back to the populated areas to see what has happened.

I have others plans, but most of them involve me getting up-north. I mean the way I figure it. You have a few hours to find out that the zombie apocalypse has happened, and after that your chances of being a survivor are like 10%. Early bird doesn't get its brain eaten I guess.


(Also, Prison is a horrible idea. Unless you can let the Prisoners escape, and then lock up the Prison.)
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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #16 on: 04 Nov 2007, 23:30 »

I have friends that own many swords and other assorted weaponry. Also one of them lives in a tall apartment building, so we will barricade ourselves on the roof and pick the little buggers off from far away.
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Patatat

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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #17 on: 05 Nov 2007, 01:40 »

Its funny that your name is Misconception, because its a very common misconception that swords, and Medieval weapons are a good idea for Zombies. In reality, you wanna stay as far away as possible. Also, if you choose a Katana, you should hope that it came with the Waikazashi so you can just kill yourself.
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Emaline

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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #18 on: 05 Nov 2007, 01:43 »

Care to inform us on why swords and medieval weaponry is bad for zombie slaying?
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Spike

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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #19 on: 05 Nov 2007, 01:52 »

Swords generally require you to get very close to a zombie, which opens you up to getting bitten.  Swords may also liberate generous amounts of zombie fluid, which may find it's way into a small cut or a mucus membrane.  You're pretty much fucked then.

Honestly, I can't see too many drawbacks with pole arms, since they allow you to land a hit from a longer distance.   
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Ozymandias

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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #20 on: 05 Nov 2007, 01:53 »

A sword can hack soft tissue just fine, but if you're up against a zombie horde, removing soft tissue isn't very helpful. You need a good crushing blow into the skull and unless you have a rather hefty(and largely useless) claymore or something, that's not going to cut it(hurr).

A fire axe gives you good lever action, sending a lot more force into one crushing area of the skull. A baseball bat allows you to deliver a massive crushing blow to a skull with little to no threat of injuring yourself in the process. A sword, at best, will end up with someone losing an arm and, either zombie or human, that doesn't help.

Also, anyone who offers up chainsaws gets to be the first thrown over the side of the QC fort's walls to conserve food.

According to a guy I know, the boat plan is not so great

(n/a) (12:41:32 AM): That might be a good idea and it might be a bad idea.
(n/a) (12:42:32 AM): Giant flotillas of the living dead, their bloated bodies thrown together and drifting across the seas in deadly sheets kilometers square...
andlemonade (12:38:18 AM): Well, I doubt most zombies can swim(Hell, if you go by Zombies Ate My Neighbors standards, water will kill the zombies. But if you go by that standard, then drinking mysterious purple liquids will totally turn you into a monter for a short period of time!), and I doubt they'd be smart enough to piece together a zombie body raft
andlemonade (12:38:41 AM): However, if a zombie were to get on the ship, I'd be more than screwed
(n/a) (12:44:57 AM): No, no.  Just think of how debris clumps together in water.
(n/a) (12:45:25 AM): Now think of a million god damned corpses bloated with every imaginable foul glass following suit.
(n/a) (12:49:24 AM): Mountains would be a good bet.

The threat of zombie flotsam is real, but not as big as your friend implies, I'd think. Zombies thrash about too much to get a really big Legion-like mass going. If they got tangled together, they'd rip themselves apart into useless zombie chunks. If they stayed still long enough to make a sufficiently large sheet of the undead, though, then got riled up by the scent of food....that scene of would pretty much be the one of the most horrible/awesome things in the world to watch. A churning, bubbling sea of zombies ripping apart into a gory, bloody mess in the ocean.

You do get ridiculous bonus points for bringing up Zombies Ate My Neighbors, though. In a worst case scenario, we can always open a Pandora's Box.
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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #21 on: 05 Nov 2007, 01:55 »

My plan is to stay away from the army-enforced base camp, because they are all crazy and obsessed with procreation.  The insanity and spoilt food is not worth dealing with to get the pretty red dress that comes with the deal.  Also, Cillian Murphy almost dies, which is not something I am willing to deal with at this point in my life.
Really though?
I would probably take a backpack full of the canned goods I bought from Tesco, my comforter, matches, a towel, reading material and my laptop to the top floor of my cafeteria.  I read the zombie handbook, and it said that a staircase you can knock out so the zombies can't reach you would be optimal.  I would probably be stuck up there with a bunch of other kids that I didn't like.  I would probably eat them if we ran out of supplies, though, so it all works out in the end.

ETA
Emaline, it makes no sense to use something that would require you to get close to something that does not feel pain, and in great numbers could easily overpower you.  Having the strength and tools to repeatedly decapitate or somehow otherwise incapacitate possibly hundreds of the undead is a very unlikely possibility, and it is simply impractical to risk it.  Firearms and explosives are far more reasonable means of destroying the zombie hoard.

ETAA
What.  People post so fast.
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Emaline

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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #22 on: 05 Nov 2007, 02:00 »



ETA
Emaline, it makes no sense to use something that would require you to get close to something that does not feel pain, and in great numbers could easily overpower you.  Having the strength and tools to repeatedly decapitate or somehow otherwise incapacitate possibly hundreds of the undead is a very unlikely possibility, and it is simply impractical to risk it.  Firearms and explosives are far more reasonable means of destroying the zombie hoard.



I wasn't arguing that swords are good for zombie slaying. I just wanted to know why they were not. Personally, I am more of a gun, baseball bat sort of person, but...


Firearms, and explosives are fun and good and everything, but once your run out of ammo, then what? You are screwed. If a zombie apocalypse did happen, I would choose a gun last.
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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #23 on: 05 Nov 2007, 02:51 »

How many people think they're a good enough shot to de-brain a zombie at distance? Because unless you're military or a ridiculously avid hunter, you're not.

A gun is only as effective as its user. That effectiveness increases as distance decreases. By the time your target is close enough for a good deathblow, it's close enough that if you don't make that one shot count, you're as good as dead. There are only two situations where a gun is optimal: if you, for some god forsaken reason, have a fully-loaded assault shotgun and relatively few zombies in your face or you're in a fortification, defending it from a safe position. Otherwise, you're one unlucky shot or empty clip away from being lunch.

Reflexes are your greatest friend when facing an undead adversary. Quick, skull piercing weapons in close range are something anyone can use and should have. Spike is also correct, a solid knowledge of how to use and kill with a polearm-type weapon is even better, but good luck having one and knowing how to use it effectively.

I think I've thought too much about this.
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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #24 on: 05 Nov 2007, 03:01 »

the popularity of this fantasy has always struck me as bizarre. for the longest time i simply could not fathom why my friend was obsessed with zombies.

i suppose i can kind of understand now. since the premise is that everyone else has turned into a zombie, this is essentially a fear of being alone, which is what we're all scared of, deep down inside, so thinking about how you'd deal with a zombie apocalypse is a way of working through that fear.

right?

sorry, i know i said it like it was past tense, but what i am saying is basically, i still do not understand you people. or this thread.
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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #25 on: 05 Nov 2007, 03:16 »

I'm not so sure of the practicality of polearms myself. Most, if not all polearms are designed to be practically used as a group. Practically, the lack of mobility (I'm not sure quite what you mean by polearm, but I'm assuming a halberd or pike) and the problem of zombies getting inside your guard would probably sink you.

Actually, speaking of weapons training, when in Bournemouth I can of course always hook-up with the rest of my Jomsviking re-enactment group. Fifteen or so hairy nutters and shield maidens, armed with an assortment of swords, axes, spears, hammers, shields, bows and knives, kitted out in leather and mail. Not only that, but all real weapons, designed to deliver and block blows, that we know how to use. Nice. We could get some proper pillaging in for a change.

Also Ozy, I think you're slightly over-estimating somewhat how hard it is to shoot a person in the head, if you have a sensible weapon (rifle, good shotgun). Actually, military training might not even be a good thing. Soldiers are generally trained to instinctively shoot for the centre of mass. What you want is a good target shooter. I can hit a human head-sized target consistently at a hundred yards (admittedly, non-moving target in light conditions). I would personally take a gun, if only for the tactical advantage it offers, except for the tremendous problem in the UK of finding a fire-arm that would be of any use whatsoever against zombies. .22 rounds would only really be effective if you plugged them straight into the right eye socket, and I doubt bird-shot would be any help at all. I wouldn't mind having a brace of black-powder pistols with ball shot, actually, strictly for close combat. Would pair well with an axe.
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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #26 on: 05 Nov 2007, 03:22 »

OK, when you're trying to kill a zombie how much of the brain do you need to destroy? Because this always makes me think. I mean, how many people do you hear of that have their brain totally destroyed by being hit in the head with a baseball bat?
Also, Khar is right about the guns - I am a terrible shot, and I can still consistently put a bullet into a 1" circle at 25 yards with a .22. Anyone who actually owns a gun should be significantly better at shooting than me. Also, .22" is 5.58mm - that's military calibre. The bullets ricochet around internally, tumble, and generally cause a lot more damage inside than a larger bullet, which goes straight through.

EDIT: Just to qualify, this is when you're stationary and in a safe place, like some sort of fortification where there is no immediate zombie-related threat of death.
« Last Edit: 05 Nov 2007, 13:28 by supersheep »
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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #27 on: 05 Nov 2007, 03:38 »

the popularity of this fantasy has always struck me as bizarre.

For me, it's kind of fun because it's re-imagining the world of today with drastically different characteristics AKA zombies running around. It's for people who don't like the mundane, who need to "mix it up" a little.  It's all very survival horror and escapist, plus, how hilarious is the zombie walk? 
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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #28 on: 05 Nov 2007, 04:34 »

Except, supersheep, that we are not necessarily (or at all) talking high velocity .22 LR's. As far as I'm aware, most easy to obtain legal weapons in the UK (I'm using 'easy to obtain' in the loosest sense imaginable) use either the lesser powered .22 long (I'm fairly sure this is the cartridge the rifles I've done all my target shooting on used) or the .22 short. Hell, I'm not entirely certain we didn't use .22 BB's, which can be stopped by a decently starched shirt. I'm also relatively sure that most weapons in the UK are subsonic. (I don't know any of this, and the legislation isn't that detailed, but I'm assuming certain restrictions rule out other things at the same time) Also, I'd like to point out that, even with ideal ammunition, .22 rifles are mainly used for hunting things like rats. There's a biiiiig reason for this. The problem isn't the amount of soft tissue damage a .22 can do, which is appreciable (though inferior to almost every other sort of bullet), but rather its ability to penetrate bone. Put bluntly, beyond about thirty/forty metres, there's a big chance that .22s will just bounce off a zombies fucking skull, especially if it's fresh. From what I can find, .22s in general are useless for hunting anything bigger than a coyote, and even then you need to get a fairly good shot in from no farther than about 50 yards, using the best weapons and ammo. Remember, UK gun law is designed around only allowing very limited access to weapons that have the least possible utility in the killing of human beings. Probably the best thing that you could hope to get hold of (and this would need planning) would be the L98A1 Cadet Rifle, which, whilst not being civilian issue, is I believe probably the only non .22 or smoothbore fire-arm kept in any quantity outside of military bases and specially secured shooting sites like the Bisley range (Game wardens who control deer populations use larger calibre rifles, but that's like looking for a needle in a haystack). The L98A1 is bolt-action, and the action is deliberately very awkward ( you have to reach over the top of the gun with the left hand each shot, normally) but it's NATO 5.56, it takes STANAG magazines, and it has adjustable aperture sights. Raid a cadet unit for some of those suckers (praying they don't just have bolt action .22s like my old unit) and a few boxes of ammo and you're officially one of the best armed men in the UK. The other big option, of course, is criminally obtained fire-arms, but you've got a similiar problem to finding your game wardens rifle, not to mention you'd almnost certainly have to enter a big city to get your hands on one, and as far as I'm concerned 'do your best to get out of fucking cities' is a pretty hard and fast rule in the zombocalypse. The other major problem would be obtaining ammunition. Know how much 9mm ammo there is in the UK? Not very much, and you can bet your ass some Scouser gangsters probably unloaded most of it into a zombie swarm in Toxteth.

Also, I'd like to point out that we're all, maybe even me, though my plans are flexible, making a really crucially erroneous supposition here. Basically, we're all expecting Zombie Survival Guide/Russo zombies. This is a conditioned media response, people! What if 'Kill the Brain, Kill the Ghoul' is as empty as 'Duck and Cover'? What if we get classic Night of the Living Dead zombies, where the bite is not infectious, but generally fatal, and ALL recently dead re-animate within 5-10 minutes. What if we get later Romero zombies, who develop a degree of intelligence, or at the very least a thoughtless acting out of their previous existence (sometimes people forget that there's a REASON the zombies go to the mall). What if the zombie uprising, when it comes, is a purely supernatural horror, rather than a twisted scientific one? Perhaps the only sure ways to kill a zombie will be the same as the only sure ways to kill vampires (decapitation and burning). Speaking of burning, will we have zombies that dislike fire, instinctively moving away from it (a big bonus) or will we have zombies that merely shamble mindlessly through fire, setting themselves ablaze perhaps, but otherwise unharmed, maybe stumbling on for several minutes as flaming, crumbling edifices of mindless hunger, igniting us even as they gnaw on our bones.

Oh, and one more point. Someone earlier, I just remembered, opined that swords would not be effective against zombies.  I think this implies a certain lack of understanding of how you use a sword, and how it works. Whilst some swords would probably be useless against zombies except in the hands of a very skilled wielder (epee's, foils and other stabbing weapons particularly) most western swords in particular would be fairly effective, as they are really mainly hybrid cutting/crushing weapons. Broadswords, as a category especially. They were designed, after all, to be effective against men wearing chain and plate armour, padded out with stiffened leather and sheepskin, and using shields. Zombies are not likely to be so well dressed for a scuffle, although a unit of zombified riot police might give you pause for thought. Other varieties of sword are likely to be pretty effective as well. Properly maintained ones designed for actual combat, that is. That's always a problem nowadays. Katanas, scimitars, cutlasses and other slashing weapons would take more skill to use than a broadsword, but not too much. My basic plan for taking down massed zombies with an axe would probably be a basic figure of eight, keeping the weapon moving all the time, and you'd want a similiar plan for such a sword. Never mind if you waste a few blows hacking off arms or whatnot, sustaining momentum is the most important thing: the one huge disadvantage of broadswords, and axes maybe, is the likelihood you're going to get one stuck in a zombies skull, leaving his mates free to dine on your delicious meats. If you kept it sharp enough, you'd be able to consistently slice clean through a zombies skull if you got it square on the side level with the eye-sockets.
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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #29 on: 05 Nov 2007, 04:42 »

I am telling you as a qualified Awesomologist that the answer to Zombie is always Shotgun. You don't need to be a great shot with a shotgun, just good enough to hit around the jaw/neck area. Some of the shot will mess up their motor functions to the point where they are not a threat. Also, if Dr. McNinja teaches us nothing else, it's that the best armor for Zombies is Space Suit. You all go around hacking with your swords and getting bitten or bled on, I'll be safe trotting around in my space suit blasting heads off with my shotgun.

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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #30 on: 05 Nov 2007, 05:00 »

Once you're dug in and everything; Naked bite checks after any contact with a zombie. None of this covering up a bite with your jacket shit. You are getting bare-ass naked and someone is looking you over. If you've got bitemarks anywhere, You're getting shot. If I don't have the heart to do it, I'll make sure someone else does.
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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #31 on: 05 Nov 2007, 05:06 »

Is this a real shotgun, or a hollywood shotgun? I feel this is important to ask. I also feel that it's important to ask how you would fire and reload a shotgun whilst wearing a space-suit. The zombie apocalypse is about survival, not cool.

Just now, I was thinking this over deeply whilst smoking on the toilet, and hit upon the perfect combination of hand to hand weapons to deal with zombies. It is tradition and modernity united. In one hand you want a short, stabbing assegai, one of the ones with a small, crushing adze blade on the bottom of the shaft. In the other, a modern see-through riot-shield, one of those ones that bends with blows. Combine this with a good pair of knife-proof gloves, some good industrial safety boots with real steel toe-caps and heel plates, maybe an assortment of knives and a helmet of some sort, and it is basically just clobberin' time for zombies.

Good call on the bite checks. Really, as countless films have taught us, the true key to survivng the zombocalypse is the ability to shoot, hack or bludgeon to death those you know and love. And anyone else.
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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #32 on: 05 Nov 2007, 05:08 »

I think Khar raises an excellent point. What Zombie rules are we going by? The shambling, moaning type? 28 Days Later style Rage infected, all sprinting at you and tearing you apart? Is destroying the brain going to do anything or do you have to get them to eat salt, voodoo magic style? I've never handled a gun before in my life so I'm not sure how great I'd be. I suppose we'll find out one way or another...
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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #33 on: 05 Nov 2007, 05:32 »

I'm not particularly fast or strong, and I'm very sensitive to those I've loved.  I'd probably just end up shooting myself before I could slow people down or become infected.
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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #34 on: 05 Nov 2007, 05:40 »

Equipment:
Machete and Khukris.
Guitar for FLCL style head bashing?
Gas mask to prevent zombie germs entering my lungs/eyes/mouth? (limits eyesight though).
Boots.
Cowhide Zulu shield.
Jeans for durability.
DPM trousers and smock if I still have them.
Camo cream for inspiring war paint.
Whistle for emergency noises.
Penknife for multiple reasons.
Condoms for hot survivors.

Plan:
Gather a few friends who live near me (may turn into a lot of friends, strength in numbers, etc)
Drive to Poole harbour or maybe Mudeford since it would be significantly less populated (may turn into walking/fighting through hoards of zombies due to blocked roads)
Sail out to one of the costal forts and meet Khar.
???
Profit!
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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #35 on: 05 Nov 2007, 06:21 »

Uh, Khar, I think, I think I love you.

I guess the brain-kill is a valid point, we need the ability to lop heads, which is why I'm a fan of the urban dead shotgun/fireaxe combo. Problems with shotguns are that they're messy and brutal and only effective at short range, unless you're packing buckshot.
The burning is also an excellent point, you need to be able to destroy the bodies.

I am seriously worried about floating zombies now. I doubt they could swim, but it'd mean you have to be on the ball and never let your gard down if you're on an island. Regular patrols, something like a lighthouse would be lovely to watch from.

I suppose you'd need a strategy for dealing with floaters you find while out in the boat fishing or something. Maybe some big net or sealing harpoon to grab them. This is an instance where a polearm would be nice so as to be able to remotely decapitate, but you'd want them out of your fishing waters ASAP. Which reminds me that we'll need water filtration, maybe even distill everything for safety.
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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #36 on: 05 Nov 2007, 06:43 »

First I'd grad everything I could that was flammable for a potential flame thrower or home made bombs of some sort. Then I'd raid a grocery store, the gun store down the street from where I live, and then steal someone's truck, because my little car would a)not hold enough and b)is not anywhere near the standards one needs for mowing down zombies. Then I'd probably head over to the Mississippi River and steal a boat and get the hell away from land. Somewhere along the way I'm sure I'd pack up a lot of books and music/instruments, my cat and his kitty things and maybe some other people, considering the end of the world would be an excellent time to become a hermit on a nice tropical island.

And if in the case I can't handle the zombies, I'd blow everything up and take out as many as possible.
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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #37 on: 05 Nov 2007, 07:21 »

An assault shotgun would be a nice weapon, that is true, but not so much on the effective range. Maybe one of them with two guys with rifles? As for .22s, Khar is, of course, totally correct. And on effective range, probably about half of your actual shooting range. I could probably hit a head size target at fifty yards, so 25 is the range I can kill zombies at maybe? With slow zombies, and a semi-auto, I could probably peg two before having to make a tactical retreat, although that might be pushing it.

Of course this is academic because there are not so many guns in Ireland. And I've never even seen a crowbar. I'm a goner.
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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #38 on: 05 Nov 2007, 07:28 »

Okay, guys. For those of you with gun fantasies, here's the reality:

Guns are unwieldy and in the hands of anyone but an experienced user are more dangerous than any zombie. I picked up and fired a gun for the first time about a month ago. I was able to cap a seltzer bottle about about thirty to forty feet with a .357 (Not a revolver, the type that loads with a magazine)and am told that that was pretty damn excellent for a first timer (I was, in fact, aiming for said bottle and I managed to cap a few other objects, so it wasn't a lucky shot). That noted, I would be absolutely fucked if I tried to take on a large cluster of zombies as it becomes a lot harder to aim in quick succession and the human head is a small target. I've never tried anything more lightweight, and maybe that'd help (Though the likelihood of a kill shot then decreases), but I can't imagine it'd bring my survival rate up that much.

The real trick is not to be all gung-ho, but to play to your strengths. Zombies are slow, you're about 99% better off running from them than trying to stand your ground. There's very few conceivable instances where standing your ground is the smart thing to do. If you've got more than, say, five zombies, you're unlikely to be able to kill all of them before one of them gets to you unless you're very experienced with a gun. If it's less than five, it's probably going to be easier to just get around them/outwit them than kill them (Especially considering that firing off shots is probably going to attract more of them).

The best piece of advice one can consider is to just get the Hell out of any urban areas and don't stop for anything. You're honestly better off getting out of the city with naught but a claw hammer than taking time to stop and look for anything else useful. In the close quarters of a city, a good arsenal isn't going to do you shit worth of good if you're stuck there past dusk. Think aiming's hard? Try doing it in the dark. Now try doing it in the do or die pressure of having twelve zombies coming at you from different angles in a tight alley.

Once you're out of an urban area and into something more spread out, your survival probability goes up exponentially. Unless you're surrounded by a hundred zombies, an empty field is going to be safe. Find your way to a small town where there aren't many places for a zombie to hide, stock up, and find a place to survive.

Personally, I'd be fucked in the event of a zombie outbreak. I live entirely too far into a highly populated city (15,700 people per square mile over 7 miles of land). I'd have the options of either braving the city for a mile or two until I got to the highway and hope it's not so dense with zombies that I could bike my way out OR I could brave my way through the likely worse off streets of Boston straight across the river and into the harbor to try and comandeer a boat. Either instance has a very low survival probability.
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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #39 on: 05 Nov 2007, 07:39 »

Yeah, forget everything else (other than food and gas), I'm stealing a boat on the Ohio River. If you're on the western half of the Ohio and anywhere along the Mississippi south of Illinois, I'll pick you up. I'd have to go near the city to get to the river, but I live in a smaller suburb, so I can get food easily enough.

Though I'd still feel safer if I had explosive like things in the case of the zombie apocalypse.
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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #40 on: 05 Nov 2007, 07:49 »

Fuck logic, I want an M-1 Garand and a FUCKTON of incendiary ammunition, if such a thing is available for that weapon.

If no incendiary ammo is available, I will get a goddamn Browning .50 cal and make like the Killdozer guy while I provide severe assfucking for any zombies who want to come and get some.

This is also why I'm going to convince my cop friend to take me to the shooting range with him so I can effectively blow the fucking brains out of any zombie bitches who want some 12-gauge. 'Cause I do love me some 12-gauge.

(Also Linds please get to a port city and find a larger boat and FUCKTONS of fuel [preferably a nuclear-powered submarine] so you can come get me. I'll be in the port city of DurrŽs, Albania. Our code word is "Let's kill some goddamn zombies". I've got friends with lots of guns and ammunition. Hell yes.)
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Lines

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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #41 on: 05 Nov 2007, 08:01 »

(Also Linds please get to a port city and find a larger boat and FUCKTONS of fuel [preferably a nuclear-powered submarine] so you can come get me. I'll be in the port city of DurrŽs, Albania. Our code word is "Let's kill some goddamn zombies". I've got friends with lots of guns and ammunition. Hell yes.)

Uh... If you know anyone in the navy that will meet me down south, then sure. I don't think I could go across seas without killing the boat, let alone everyone on board. Maybe we can pick up the people coming from up north, too. And along the east coast, I guess, too.

Man, you're ruining my plans of being a hermit! But I'd feel bad if I didn't save you guys. Guh.
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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #42 on: 05 Nov 2007, 08:35 »

Oh, no problem. I know a guy. As for steering and shit, how hard could it possibly be to steer a nuclear submarine? I mean it's not exactly like we'd be going deep-sea, just 50 meters or so (I think they have computer overrides that prevent the ship from going to crush depth anyway). And we don't need to worry about stealth.

Seriously, a nuclear-powered, nuclear-armed submarine is your best bet in case of a zombie apocalypse, assuming you can work past the fail-safe devices on each of the nuclear warheads. Stealth isn't necessary, just complete submersion. Make sure you've got enough food and ammunition stockpiled in there for a good long while.

Strategy: If you've found all the people worth finding in the world (read: people with guns with sympathies like Tania expressed earlier in the thread), it's safe to launch your n00kz from underwater. Take out major population centers only, launching as few weapons as possible (it's not like we'd have an endless supply, yo). Then proceed on to Cuba, where we'd only have an island's worth of zombies to deal with for the time being, and still have an inhabitable area with decently arable land with infrastructure already in place.

It's foolproof.
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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #43 on: 05 Nov 2007, 08:48 »

Oh. Yeah, no, I'm not getting a sub to pick you up. You can meet us down in the Caribbean. I will save you some fruit.

I don't do cramped spaces with no windows.
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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #44 on: 05 Nov 2007, 08:52 »

Being as I'm overweight I have an exponentially smaller chance of surviving zombie apocalypse, however, due to that fact I can go longer without food, meaning I'd go straight for weapons and escaping rather than stocking up. (the longer you stay in one place the more likely you're just dead, bub.) Also, I think in general the idea of holing up anywhere is horrible. Once the zombies get your scent the rest will come running, until the sheer mass of them will be able to overwhelm any obstacle or defense, roaming nomads are best, though that leaves you with a dependance on fuel. After you get out of major population areas switch to on foot or by pack animals, the vehicles will just slow you down. Never stay in one place for too long and never enter an area that once held human population without scouting it for days, and then don't go anywhere where you can get trapped, and don't split up upon entering buildings. strength in either numbers or absolutely alone. Weapons I'd go for:

Machete: Easy to wield, Chopping power that can cleanly remove head and limbs with minimal fuss

Aluminum Baseball bat: Extremely light, with excellent crushing power and no chance of breaking or splintering like its wood cousin.

Police Riot shield: Do just like they do, form up in a line and push, also useful in tight corridors and with a combo of stabbing weapons, its how the romans conquered, their short swords and tower shields did the damage that hordes of barbarians couldn't handle.

Grenades(either home made or military grade): These go boom, zombies in groups become a group of dismembered body parts.
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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #45 on: 05 Nov 2007, 08:54 »

Seriously, a nuclear-powered, nuclear-armed submarine is your best bet in case of a zombie apocalypse

Once again: What if there are zombies you missed on the sub? Then you're trapped in a tin can with zombies, and this time you're underwater to boot. Awesome plan, dude.
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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #46 on: 05 Nov 2007, 08:57 »

an island's worth of zombies to deal with for the time being

The population of Cuba is 11 million.
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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #47 on: 05 Nov 2007, 09:04 »

that is a lot of zombies
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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #48 on: 05 Nov 2007, 09:07 »

See, this is why you STILL HAVE GUNS on the sub with you.

I still want my M1 Garand and a metric asston of .30-06 rounds when we get there though. And I'll be damned if I ain't coming in through the Bay of Pigs just for the lulz.

See, zombie apocalypses aren't about being smart about things. They're for being BADASS and making bold nationalist statements. Duhhhh.
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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #49 on: 05 Nov 2007, 09:18 »

Yeah. And you don't want to go further into the Caribbean in case it's an instance of multiple zombie varieties. Haitian zombies are even tougher.

Ruyi, I think you over-analyzed what's scary about zombie attacks. Personally I'm just afraid of a horrible death where monstrous versions of humans eat my brain.
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