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[Patrick]

Speaking of Alaska, what the hell do you call most of that if not scenic?

Fucking barren, depressing, and covered in bears. You know what President Colbert says about bears.

[ulfnir]

Having recently read "world war Z", this has been on my mind.
I have a fair bit of armour, and a 1796 pattern sabre, longbow, hatchets etc. I also live in a narrow lane, which would be easy to barricade witha couple of vans from the farm across the way. My house is virtually inpregnable too, as it has a thick stone front wall, heavy wood doors and is very solid. It would suffice for a while, until we could get to somewhere more easily defendable. My money would be on going to Dolbadarn castle, with some close friends, and holing up there for the duration. They, being reenactors, are likewise armed and ready.
Bring it on!


It still has a well.

[KharBevNor]

They, being reenactors, are likewise armed and ready.
Bring it on!

Man, we re-enactors are going to be laughing. What period are you?

[ulfnir]

Mostly viking, but occasionally late medieval.

[sean]

How far away from civilization (read: populated areas) is this castle? Also, what are you doing for food?

Otherwise that actually sounds like a pretty legit plan, especially if it has a well.

[KharBevNor]

http://www.multimap.com/hotels/?&t=l&map=53.1219912243855,-4.13419570119059|13|4&loc=GB:53.1219912243855:-4.13419570119059:13&dp=841#t=l&map=53.12199,-4.1342|15|4&dp=841&loc=GB:53.1219912243855:-4.13419570119059:13

That's a map link.

Nowhere in the UK is far from population centres.

[RedLion]

The U.S. doesn't have a countryside...That's not countryside. Countryside is scenic and rustic. Midwestern America is just large tracts of land that should be used for storing the Northeast's lumber.

LULWHUT?

No, seriously. I live in southern Wisconsin, and I have no idea what you're talking about. This area of the Midwest, at least, is full of lush, rolling hills, deep forests, periodic farms, and a large number of lakes.

I guess if you go into places like southern Illinois and Indiana, then yeah, it's just flat, open nothingness. But the Midwest is probably the most geographically diverse region of the US.

Fucking barren, depressing, and covered in bears. You know what President Colbert says about bears.

If you're being sarcastic, just ignore this. But Alaska is probably one of the most beautiful places on the planet.

[Alex C]

Yeah, Great Britain is very densely populated. I'm pretty sure it's is overall higher than Japan, actually. I don't believe there's anywhere quite so dense as Tokyo in per square km in the UK (I'm not sure, I'd have to check), but I know that when you take the entire island into account the average is very high indeed. Also, I can't even imagine how many different kinds of fucked you'd be if you happened to be in the middle of Hong Kong when the outbreak hits town.

[KharBevNor]

I'm really just bumping this to infuriate Bryan.

[calenlass]

Why is bumping this going to infuriate anyone? I think this thread is a valuable resource. It has long been my opinion that it should be stickied indefinitely.

[sean]

It has long been my opinion that it should be stickied indefinitely.

Katie for forum dictator '08

[Boro_Bandito]

It would be cool to make a zombie movie in Tokyo...

[bbqrocks]

If I lived in the city, my plans would be to get bitten.

Seriously, why not? Sounds like a hell of a lot of fun being a zombie, and whats the chance of humanity fighting back and killing all the zombies.

[jhocking]

Are zombies self-aware? I doubt it, what with the whole "mindless killing machine" thing. In which case, no enjoyment, no fun.

[kinglm]

This discussion came up a few times at my house when my friends and I were a few pints better off. The initial idea was to take medium sized quite heavy objects such as cricket bats and some steel bars I have in my room (don't ask why) combined with shields made from my cymbals as personal defence with the impracticality of portable garden tools like hedge trimmers ruling them out. The plan was then to get the 2 miles to our school where we have a Army Cadet Corps. with a fully stocked armory contaning:

L98A1 GP Cadet Rifleshttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/L98A1_Cadet_GP_Rifle
SA80 rifles http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SA80
and L86 LSW Automatic Rifles (see above link)
along with some rather useless .22 rifles hanging around but most importantly there are plenty of NATO rounds around to be used.Whilst guns clearly aren't the the most effective zombie slayers it's still nice to have a few around if only for the psychological reasons that they make you feel more prepared.

The plan was then to steal one or two of the school's ford transit minibuses after stocking up on food and water from the dining halls(cafeteria) and draining the fuel tanks of the remaining vehicles in the vicinity into the abundance of jerry cans in the corps. office. Once loaded up the plan was to move off to one of their houses which was in the middle of the countryside with a farm next door but otherwise no people for miles around and the benefit of a stream for fresh water in case infrastructure collapse caused water mains to become useless.

for anyone with a higher budget however, the fort for sale off the south coast of england might make a nice place to hole up if you have a chopper or boat to get there  http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=468609&in_page_id=1770

[bbqrocks]

Are zombies self-aware? I doubt it, what with the whole "mindless killing machine" thing. In which case, no enjoyment, no fun.

Exactly. It would be like being an animal. I would get to eat human beings (with an excuse, this time).

[the-artful-dodger-rodger]

 cricket bats is the ultimate weapon against zombies and the mall is the perfect place to hide out.

my plan is to have a army of scottish soccer hooligans armed with cricket bats, thus the human race is saved.

[RedLion]

cricket bats is the ultimate weapon against zombies

OK, Shaun

m i rite guyz?

[Melodic]

Nope.

My Google Earth zombie defense plan is almost done. I think this is exactly what Google was made to do.

[Boro_Bandito]

You know, even though I still agree the the zombie upsrising is just around the corner and will happen, I'm finding it hard to wonder how it really could spread into a worldwide epidemic. I mean, if it takes a while for the effects of the disease to kick in it could spread nearly worldwide, but there are places on the planet that just wouldn't be affected at all, due to while there are relatively significant populations there, they just don't get much in the way of visitors, and by the time an outbreak begins these places could get enough word to sela themselves off. Take my hometown of Lubbock, Texas for instance. I mean, its a town of 250,000 people, and while it has an airport, it doesn't get much action, and there isn't anything besides little hackdirt clusters of 10-12 buildings called townships anywhere for about 50 miles in any direction. The closest city to it is Amarillo to the north, which is even more removed.

The argument of course is that it only takes one zombie to destroy and infect an entire populace, but if they get word they can immediately begin screening anyone who comes by air, and after a while the entire airline system would be shut down entirely. My point is, what kind of delivery system would it take to make sure that these pockets of humanity are totally wiped out so that only a tiny number of people would be left to survive? Jeez, I'm sick.

[Melodic]

I think it's more feasible than you give credit for. Anyways, the original delivery system is ALWAYS debated. If we look at the Evil Dead series, any recent or present deaths result in zombies, in which case I can't see how ANYONE would survive for any length of time. A lot of people die in a minute. If it's airborne, only certain sectors would be safe and eventually contact strains will get through and kill everyone. If it's contact-only, the potential for global infection is probably significantly reduced, but the idea is that zombies are like time-bombs with multiple fuse lengths: any human being is a potential carrier.

[Spluff]

Boro, if the outbreak has a phase where the disease hasn't kicked in, how exactly are you going to be able to scan the airways? We've never seen this disease before - and by the time we've figured out what to look for it will have already spread pretty much all the way around the world.

The isolated places will still receive the disease, just not as quickly. There will be people running from nearby towns to take shelter there when their own town is overrun. What if one of them has the disease in it's undetectable phase? And even if you manage to escape that problem, zombies will eventually converge onto any remaining groups of people - and all it takes is for one of those people to suffer a scratch and then suddenly one night, your own friend tears out your jugular.

The other problem is that people are selfish. They're not going to admit that they've got the virus - they'll deny it to themselves and hide it from everybody else, hoping that they'll survive it. They won't, and they'll have easy access to all the unsuspecting people around them as soon as they go zombie.

[Spluff]

[bah, double post]

[KharBevNor]

for anyone with a higher budget however, the fort for sale off the south coast of england might make a nice place to hole up if you have a chopper or boat to get there  http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=468609&in_page_id=1770

The solent forts are already my plan, boy! Also, what the hell kind of cadet corps has SA-80's and L86's? I was under the impression that kind of stuff was kept on proper military bases. If that's the case, then it's possible that getting hold of firepower might not be that hard in the uk, for the savvy.

SA-80 wouldn't be a bad weapon to get you out of a corner either, zombie-wise. As long as you were right handed, of course...

[kinglm]

Yeah, from what I gather most cadet corps just get fobbed off with the single action cadet rifles but we managed to get hold of a squad or two's worth of SA-80's and a handful of LSW's which only just made their way back from Iraq after the army realised they didn't have enough and commandeered ours  . Also think they have some flares knocking about in there too (of the pistol delivered variety) which might be useful for one thing or another.

[Nodaisho]

Khar, I thought that you could disassemble the SA80 and reassemble it to make it left-handed ejection? Is that a different gun?

[ulfnir]

I think big calibre, slow velocity rounds would be best. 9mm is good.
Crowbars or army entrenching tools for close in work are also full of win.d 

[Alex C]

Damn, Anyways beat me to it!

9mm is a relatively light weight, small diameter round with high velocity. In theory that helps it penetrate better (which is kind of dumb, because it's still just a pistol) but doesn't have quite the same momentum that a .45 would, which is why the 9mm has basically been abandoned by most US police forces in favor of the .40 caliber.

[bbqrocks]

Seriously, how could the epidemic spread all the way across america, russia, africa....The big places with lots of isolated communities.

[Nodaisho]

It would likely take a while, and if it is a worldwide all the recent dead rise thing, they would run into trouble when someone doesn't believe their eyes at seeing gramma back and gets bitten.

[Alex C]

Nodaisho's right, the skepticism could be a huge problem; we're having a hell of a time getting through the message of how exactly AIDs spreads in a lot of areas as it is. There's real potential for long delays to take place before meaningful containment can truly happen as people try to figure out just exactly what is going on because causing needless hysteria isn't something anyone wants hanging over their heads. People aren't just going to drop everything at the first hint of zombies hitting the television. Sure, some of them might (can't discount the War of the Worlds fiasco), but even a few people not getting the message could be a real danger depending on how things spread.

[Boro_Bandito]

True, and once again, in stories like Night of the Living Dead and Land of the Dead, any dead of any kind rise up, doesn't matter how they died or how long. So there's graveyards near every human settlement on the planet.

[Dissy]

Fuck you all, I'm getting myself a BAR iif it all comes down to it.

That's right, the BAR which is bronounced like the place you get beer in, but means Browning Automatic Rifle.

[Nodaisho]

You mean the WW2 one or the modern sport rifle? The ww2 one was about 18 pounds, might as well be toting an M249.

[sean]

True, and once again, in stories like Night of the Living Dead and Land of the Dead, any dead of any kind rise up, doesn't matter how they died or how long. So there's graveyards near every human settlement on the planet.

Well, that also implies that the phenomenon is purely supernatural, since I'm pretty sure it would be impossible for a virus to resurrect people on that level.

And if that's the case...

Step 1: Find a vampire.
Step 2: Induve vampire to turn you into a vampire.
Step 3: Find a trenchcoat, a badass sword and some significant firepower.
Step 4: Kill everything.

[KharBevNor]

Khar, I thought that you could disassemble the SA80 and reassemble it to make it left-handed ejection? Is that a different gun?

Must be a different gun. Use an SA-80 left-handed and the shell will be ejected pretty much straight up your nose.



The ejection ports behind that green dust cover, and as you can see, there's no way in hell you could put it on the other side without a machine shop handy.

[calenlass]

Actually, I was just sitting here giggling at the thought of not putting the port on the other side and using it lefty anyway.


hehehehe

[Melodic]

Damn, Anyways beat me to it!

9mm is a relatively light weight, small diameter round with high velocity. In theory that helps it penetrate better (which is kind of dumb, because it's still just a pistol) but doesn't have quite the same momentum that a .45 would, which is why the 9mm has basically been abandoned by most US police forces in favor of the .40 caliber.

I wish I could have been first to answer, because I find it hilarious, but oh well.

Also, I'm fairly positive the SA-80 (L85A2, at least) can be reassembled to eject on the left side of the gun, but you'd have to be a level 3 gunsmith to do it without fucking the whole thing up.

[Nodaisho]

Well... That blows. I suppose you could probably rig something up to deflect the brass down, but that would not be something you would want to be stuck doing in the middle of a firefight.

Khar's list was missing something. Sunscreen. Lots of sunscreen.

I know there are some bullpups that you can modify when disassembling, but for some reason, none of them have figured out a way to flip the ejection around. If you made it eject up and to the side, you could probably have a switch that moved a metal piece to the side. The FN2000 seems to have it best so far though, frontward ejection with enough force to throw out six spent cases as well as the one just fired. Downward works too, but then you can't put the magazine there, at least not that I can think of.

[Melodic]

The point being that it's too fucking difficult to make a gun for lefties when the ejection port is just so HANDY on the right, at least for the average gun manufacturer.

Why isn't there an anti-zombie laser yet?

[Boro_Bandito]

any laser is anti zombie, considering if its powerful enough and pointed at their head. I actually want to use the Sader that my physics teacher invented. He's not sure, but he thinks if pointed at a subject's head it could make it explode. Or at least cause significant brain damage, maybe without the mess.

[Spluff]

There's quite a few lasers that could take out a zombie no problem available. The problem would be obtaining a power source for them.

[KharBevNor]

Also, I'm fairly positive the SA-80 (L85A2, at least) can be reassembled to eject on the left side of the gun, but you'd have to be a level 3 gunsmith to do it without fucking the whole thing up.

That's one way of putting it. You'd have to manufacture a whole new upper reciever.

[Zombie Patrick]

HBAULULAGBULHG;BHA'HU;AUG;BHKKLREYTJM BRRRRRAAAAAAAAIIIINNNNNSSSS

[Patrick]

OH SHIT

[supersheep]

Khar, I thought that you could disassemble the SA80 and reassemble it to make it left-handed ejection? Is that a different gun?

The Steyr AUG can, as far as I can remember, be reassembled to eject to the left side - swap out the bolt and change the ejection cover, according to Wiki. Thing is, though, if you have access to an assault rifle you are either a) in the army or b) in one of those countries where everyone has guns. This means that you will probably have enough experience at firing the thing to be able to fire it the other side. Also, you might have a chance of using your rifle effectively, because you will be among lots of other soldiers and they will also have lots of weapons and training. Otherwise, the side the cartridge comes out of your gun is the least of your worries.

[0bsessions]

It has long been my opinion that it should be stickied indefinitely.

Katie for forum dictator '08

Man, fuck you people:

Guys, I am disappointed with how swiftly this conversation has veered away from how awesome a mod I would make.

When I am mod, the zombie thread will be stickied and Joe Hocking will be chained to a tree and forced to make sound bites for every forumite I give a shit about.

Do you want a forum dictator who just plagiarizes others, or do you want a forum dictator who will save all your asses from the zombie holocaust?

[onewheelwizzard]

Um, a forum dictator with boobs?  Maybe?  I'm OK with that.

[sean]

Yeah Jon, what have you done to get this thread stickied? You have done nothing.

Katie, on the other hand, posts sexy pictures in the photothread, and has boobs, as onewheelwizard just pointed out. I think the decision is obvious.

[0bsessions]

What, precisely, has Katie done to get it stickied? Nada. I'm not dictator yet.

Also, what assurances has she given you towards stickying the Pets & Cuteness thread? None. I, on the other hand, will make it so.

Also, she said you're all dorks. Do you really want that for dictator?

the zombie thread will be stickied

Guys why isn't this stickied? That thread is serious business.

Fuck mod, Jon for forum president '08.

Sorry Darryl.

Flip-flopper. You'll be the first one ground into the ground when I am forum dictator.