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[RedLion]

This link isn't really a reliable, unbiased source, but the information it provides on the subject is basically all true: http://www.themystica.com/mystica/articles/z/zombies.html

[calenlass]

There is a section on the subject in my old marine biology book from high school, actually, part of a chapter talking about the various poisons and protective devices creatures under the sea use. Basically, if you commit certain crimes you end up undergoing a ritual that involves you eating (unbeknownst to you) the meat of a certain puffer fish. The skill of the medicine man can be determined if you end up dead or if he gets the dose just right, but basically the toxin in the puffer fish is a paralytic and so you are trapped in your own body and you witness your own burial and stuff, but then you aren't dead, and your brain is fucked over, and basically you are a slave to the voodoo guy.

[Nodaisho]

Damn!  Ummm . . . tarrasques vs. X-Wings?

TarrasqueS? There can only be one.

Depends on how many X-wings, they can't use lasers or it would deflect them, they would need to use their proton torpedoes or concussion missiles. The Tarrasque wouldn't stay dead, though, they would have to... Sending it into a sun would probably continuously kill it as it regenerated, but I am not sure if the Sun Crusher could even stand that much pressure, I think they would just have to drag it out into space, maybe dump it into the maw.

Yes, I am a nerd, I used to read a lot of EU books.

Thinking about the evolution thing again, I would see people without allergies eventually becoming more commonplace, especially ones like hay fever and poison ivy. Eyesight as well, since glasses would not be easy to find or make.

edit: maybe not poison ivy, since someone with the allergy could still run through it if they had zombies on their tails, but hay fever would be a big disadvantage noise-wise and visibility-wise.

[Melodic]

So far the list of people who've convinced me they are going to survive are still pretty much at me, Khar, Jon, and possibly Jimmy and Patrick...

I am going to eat your fucking brains for that.

[Patrick]

There's a reason you'll be wanting to eat brains, Zombie-ass.

[blanktom]

i go away for a couple months and this thread is still going.

WAY TO DISPELL THE INTERNET NERD STEREOTYPE GUYS.

[pilsner]

TarrasqueS? There can only be one.

You and I both know that while most fantasy settings are limited to one Tarrasque, Faerun has more than one.  So clearly the encounter would have to happen on Faerun, in the presence of some manner of Tarrasque herder.  I'm sorry, I need to go write fan fiction now.

[Iron_Fist]

Dammit I made this very same thread not that long ago... Then again I haven't been here in ages and my sense of forum time may be somewhat distorted... How long ago was it? Anyway my plan is detailed therein. Although due to some recent things in my local area I feel a few changes may be necessitated. I will post the appended version soon.

[0bsessions]

Yeah, your thread on the subject is almost a year old. I definitely wouldn't class that as "not that long ago," especially considering this thread itself is almost a full five months old now.

[KharBevNor]

Tarrasques are immune to energy weapons, so the X-Wings lasers would be useless. However, Proton torpedoes have a yield of a couple of kilotons, so I'm guessing they could probably be effective. They'd still need a sorcerer to do the Close Portal spell to completely kill the Tarrasque though...would a Jedi be able to do that?

I feel so geeeeeky.

[Nodaisho]

TarrasqueS? There can only be one.

You and I both know that while most fantasy settings are limited to one Tarrasque, Faerun has more than one.  So clearly the encounter would have to happen on Faerun, in the presence of some manner of Tarrasque herder.  I'm sorry, I need to go write fan fiction now.

Oh? Really? I didn't know that, I had only ever seen them in the Monster Manual.

Khar, I thought the Tarrasque needed to be wish or miracled out of existence? Of course... why they couldn't do that *before* going toe to toe with it is beyond me. Maybe the magic resistance while it is alive makes that difficult? I can't remember the rules for SR off the top of my head though, I almost always play melee classes.

I don't know what yield the torpedoes have, but from what I can scrounge up online, they only do 9d10 damage using the d20 rules, which means an average of 49.5 damage per torpedo, the x-wing can fire two at a time, which would mean 99 damage before damage reduction, which is either 15 or 30 depending on whether two being fired at the same time counts as the same attack or not. After that, there is the 40 points of regeneration per round. And the Tarrasque has 858 HP.

So while six multi-kiloton warheads ought to reduce the Tarrasque to so much chunky salsa for a time, thanks to how d20 games seem to be afraid of making vehicles powerful, lest players complain when they get instakilled by a 120mm tank shell or a LAW (solution: Don't get shot, dumbass, use cover), the Tarrasque would not be killed by a single x-wing, it can't carry enough torpedoes. And you should feel geeky, you are posting on an online forum for a webcomic.

Oh, and pilsner? just to be pedantic, it is Abeir-Toril it would have to be set on, Faerun is a continent on Toril, and I doubt the tarrasques would really give a damn if someone told them they were only allowed on one continent.

[Spluff]

Multiple tarrasques? You keep giving me more and more reasons to hate you, forgotten realms!

[Nodaisho]

At what place on that list is Drizzt?

[jhocking]

Ultimately, most of it's problems can be summed up with the apparent fact of its writers being munchkins.

[KharBevNor]

Khar, I thought the Tarrasque needed to be wish or miracled out of existence? Of course... why they couldn't do that *before* going toe to toe with it is beyond me. Maybe the magic resistance while it is alive makes that difficult? I can't remember the rules for SR off the top of my head though, I almost always play melee classes.

I'm pretty sure that you need to reduce it's HP to 0, then perform a successful close Portal. The Tarrasque exists simultaneously in two dimensions, so you need to destroy its extension into this dimension, then close the connection to fully kill it, and even then it's only really banished.

9d10? That's utterly ridiculous. Proton torpedoes have thermonuclear warheads. They can vapourise whole city blocks.

[Iron_Fist]

Yeah, your thread on the subject is almost a year old. I definitely wouldn't class that as "not that long ago," especially considering this thread itself is almost a full five months old now.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck, really? Well yeah, appeneded version soon, when current drains on my time like school and homework are no longer applicable. The long weekend for example.

[Patrick]

I still want a giant fucking machine gun.

[Boro_Bandito]

I admit that had I the military stockpile wishlist, I'd still probably grab an assault rifle over a baseball bat. It's just the availability of one of those doesn't seem likely. But in the even that I was a survivor who had the chance to join up with a military outfit and get my own machine gun in the case of a zombie outbreak, knowing me I'd trip over my claw hammer in my haste to grab that gleamin' gun.

[LordNagash]

D&D 3.5 Tarrasque
http://www.d20srd.org/srd/monsters/tarrasque.htm

Also in the newest Star Wars RPG Proton torpedoes do 9d10*2 damage in space. However, it hardly matters, since X-Wings would never be attackable by the mostly animal intellegence Tarrasque who can not reach them. It would be a tie.

[Nodaisho]

I'm pretty sure that you need to reduce it's HP to 0, then perform a successful close Portal. The Tarrasque exists simultaneously in two dimensions, so you need to destroy its extension into this dimension, then close the connection to fully kill it, and even then it's only really banished.

9d10? That's utterly ridiculous. Proton torpedoes have thermonuclear warheads. They can vapourise whole city blocks.

Maybe that was how it was in 1 and 2e? I haven't played either of those, just 3.5.

Like I said, the people that stat vehicles are unwilling to make them actually as strong as they are, because players might complain if they couldn't shoot down the death star with a blaster pistol, and had to actually get a vehicle  .

[Spluff]

It's probably because they were designed for a different type of game. I mean really, theres no point giving a ship 120000000 hitpoints and 12d800 damage, when it can be cancelled down to keep things much easier.

[jhocking]

Yeah I was about to comment that comparing the specific number of dice between games is rather silly (or even within a game; as I recall, in DnD 1 HP in ship-to-ship combat is equivalent to 10 HP for creatures,) but I wasn't sure if both games were part of some universal gaming system I didn't know of (sort of a GURPS construction.)

[pilsner]

D&D 3.5 Tarrasque
http://www.d20srd.org/srd/monsters/tarrasque.htm

Am I misreading that or does it say that Tarrasques get a 14 charisma?  Does this mean someone on Second Life right now is yiffing a Tarrasque? 

You know what.  Forget I said anything.  I just don't want to know.

[KharBevNor]

I saw someone yiffing a giant crab once in Second Life.

[Spluff]

He was probably just trying to hit it on it's weak spot for massive damage.

[KharBevNor]

Yeah.

With his cock.

[Patrick]

He was probably just trying to hit it on it's weak spot for massive damage.

Holy shit I'm not the only one who's heard that?

[kafromet]

all you need is a HUGE balloon, it will be solar powered, and a fan will keep it in the air, and all you will need is food, to last it out. and a basket big enough to sleep in. and bring home made bombs if you wanna ahve some fun craters with zombie parts around em' booyah!

Water?

[kafromet]

My plans really depend on where I am.  If I'm at work or away from the house, step one is getting home.  If I'm a t work I have to go down 4 flights of stairs to my truck.  I have a standing lamp in my office, the main part of it is a metal bar about 4 feet long.  It's steel and heavy.  Hopefully that will get me to my truck.  Once I'm in the truck I have a machete and a handgun.  Home is only a ten minute drive from work, or about an hour on foot.

Once I get to the house I'm in pretty good shape.  I hunt and camp, so I have about 2 weeks worth of old army MRE's, several shotguns and rifles and loads of ammo.  All of this is in my upstairs loft, so the basic plan is to go upstairs, run the bathtub full of water (in case water service gets interupted), push the dresser and couch down the single stairway to block access and black out both upstairs windows.  I travel a lot for business and a friend gave me a little alarm thing for hotel rooms.  It's basically just a light beam that sets off an alarm when something breaks it.  That goes at the bottom of the stairs in case something tries to come up while I am asleep.  If anything steps onto the stairs it gets shot.  Anything.  My cat?  Shot.  The nice old lady who lives next door?  Shot.  An adorable orphan? Shot.  Anything.  I'd move around as little as possible and wait until I had 2 days of food left.  At that point, if things had not been restored to order, my next step would be to get out of town.

My folks have a farm about 3 hours drive (I could walk it in 2-3 days) away from where I live.  They have cattle, a huge garden, corn fields and are on well water.  They can literally be self sufficient.  I would go out the bedroom window, onto the roof, and be able to drop into the back of my truck with a shotgun, a rifle and my machete.  I'd then drive, walk, etc my way to the farm.  Anyone who gets within 100 yards of me will be told one time to go away.  Any response other than going away will result in me shooting them.

Once I get to the farm I would find my folks, assuming they are not obviously zombified, we'd have a quick round of strip show and tell, at gunpoint if necessary. This is the most disturbing part of my plan...having to see my mom naked, but if either of them have so much as a scratch....I think you know what happens.  There is about a 100 yard clear zone around the house, we have rifles, shotguns and plenty of ammo, my mother cans food, so even in the dead of winter we would have enough supplies to last months.  Between hunting and the garden we could live out there forever, which I'd be willing to do if the Zombie-pocalpys required it.

The rest of the world is on it's own, good luck.

[Patrick]

Edit buttonnnnnnnnnnnn

[calenlass]

There are no edit buttons in the zombie apocalypse, Patrick. Duh.

[pilsner]

Well there are zombie edit buttons but instead of editing posts, they eat brains.

[jhocking]

intelligent poster: Oh shoot I misspelled something.

*click*

intelligent poster: GAAAAH!!!

...

formerly intelligent poster: OMG WTF LOLOLOL

[Nodaisho]

Yeah I was about to comment that comparing the specific number of dice between games is rather silly (or even within a game; as I recall, in DnD 1 HP in ship-to-ship combat is equivalent to 10 HP for creatures,) but I wasn't sure if both games were part of some universal gaming system I didn't know of (sort of a GURPS construction.)

Well, they are both based around the D20 system. There are some minor balance differences between different d20 games, but not enough to make up for that huge difference. I haven't seen any rules for ship to ship in D+D, but in D20 modern (future, actually), fights between different types of troops get fucked up horribly. And of course, with the stupid rules for falling object damage, it is possible to drop pebbles on an Abrams to kill it, if you are on the tenth floor. Of course, a good DM would do that "rocks fall, everyone dies" to anyone that tries that cheese, but not all DMs know that the final decision-making power lies in their hands.

I am sure that I could find conversions for the Tarrasque into D20 modern (a fantasy-based version, of course), as well as the X-wing (a future-based one), but I don't think I would find anything too surprising.

[Zombie Patrick]

There are no edit buttons in the zombie apocalypse, Patrick. Duh.

YOU KNOW WHAT KATIE? YOUR BRAIN WILL BE REALLY TASTY WITH SOME SOY AND WASABE.

[Spluff]

He was probably just trying to hit it on it's weak spot for massive damage.

Holy shit I'm not the only one who's heard that?

I was under the impression that everybody has heard that. 

[KharBevNor]

I am sure that I could find conversions for the Tarrasque into D20 modern (a fantasy-based version, of course), as well as the X-wing (a future-based one), but I don't think I would find anything too surprising.

I don't have Urbana Arcana with me at my parents house, but I'm fairly sure it's in there.

[Patrick]

So um. How about a vampire apocalypse instead? I would throw myself at the opportunity to become a vampire. I don't like daylight anyway.

[jill the ripper]

Vampires?
What about wolf-men?

It'd be not-so-bad to be a vampire, 'cept for the whole having to kill people all the time part, as long as it was the sexy kind of vampire.
Not the creepy Nosferatu kind. Gross.

[Nodaisho]

I am sure that I could find conversions for the Tarrasque into D20 modern (a fantasy-based version, of course), as well as the X-wing (a future-based one), but I don't think I would find anything too surprising.

I don't have Urbana Arcana with me at my parents house, but I'm fairly sure it's in there.

It isn't in the SRD version, that is the only one I have. It is in the D+D SRD though.

[KharBevNor]

It'd be not-so-bad to be a vampire, 'cept for the whole having to kill people all the time part, as long as it was the sexy kind of vampire.

Vampires don't necessarilly have to kill people, just drink their blood. There's a difference. It doesn't even necessarily have to be human blood. Vampires have a far, far larger range of diversity than zombies. Some vampires turn everyone they bite into vampires unless they kill them. Some vampires have a special process (normally the victim has to drink the vampires blood as well, a la Anne Rice). Sometimes only virgins can become vampires (a la Hellsing), or, in a complete reverse, only those dedicated to evil can become vampires (a la Hammer Horror's Dracula). Sometimes those not turned into vampires die, sometimes they become zombies or ghouls. Sometimes vampirism is a physical virus, sometimes it is completely supernatural, sometimes it is a cross between the two. Sometimes vampires will be almost instantly vapourised by the sun (a la Blade), sometimes sunlight just causes them discomfort, or they have sensitive vision that must be protected with sunglasses (a la Razorblade Smile). Sometimes vampires have all the physical properties of humans, sometimes they can't be seen in mirrors, and sometimes they can't even be recorded or use telephones (a la Ultraviolet). Sometimes a wooden stake through the heart is instakill (Buffy), and sometimes it merely induces paralysis (World of Darkness). Vampires powers and abilities also vary dramatically, from humans with above average strength and speed who can take a few bullets without dying, to something more approaching demigod status, with powers up to and including: flight, true superstrength and superspeed (able to chuck cross-country locomotives around like chaff and move so fast that a human cannot even see the movement), teleportation, full psychic powers, telekinesis, pyrokinesis, climbing sheer surfaces, seeing through walls and other super-senses, becoming insubstantial at will, turning into fog, bats, insects, shadows, complete mastery of their own physical form, raising and commanding the undead, omnipotent hypnosis (able to force someone to kill themselves with a thought), stopping peoples hearts at will, mastery of black magic, summoning demons, precognition, etc. etc. etc.

Planning for a vampire apocalypse would be impossible.

[Melodic]

Unless, of course, you're Robert Neville. In which case you bust out the record player and get drunk.

[StarmanJr]

and then of course stalk the daytime searching for sleeping vampires to stake and take to a cremated end.

man, vincent price the action hero. priceless. ^{that was terrible.}

[Boro_Bandito]

Starman, I know I've seen your avatar somewhere, its a movie, right?

But anyway, http://www.white-wolf.com/

read those books, and you'll see why vampires, werewolves, mages and the like can't take over the world. Because, despite the inherent weakness of being human, there are more of us than there are of them. Only reason zombies pose the apolcalyptic threat is because there is the potential for there to be more of them than us, really, really quickly. Preparing for anything other than a zombie apocalypse would be a waste of time, and i'm with Patrick, I'd totally dig being a vampire.

[Nodaisho]

We would have to agree on the type of vampire if we were to discuss that. As I understand it, the Bram Stoker version wasn't as easily killed as the modern versions. It took an ash limb through the heart to pin him into his coffin, he could survive sunlight (but couldn't use his powers in it), could survive holy symbols (though I think they discomforted him), but I don't think he had super strength or extremely fast movement. I have never read the book, though, so I don't know.

[Boro_Bandito]

How did they kill him, did they have to cut off his head? I bet they had to cut off his head guys.

[StarmanJr]

a motherfucking bowie.

no joke.

[KharBevNor]

Yup, hacked off his head with a bowie knife.

That wouldn't work with every vampire though, oh no. Decapitation is normally the safest bet though. That's the traditional way to do it. Decapitation and/or burning. If you encounter a vampire that can survive both of those, you might want to reconsider locating your civilisation somewhere safer, like outer space or the bottom of the sea (It is generally agreed that vampires at least greatly dislike swimming in moving water, and normally can only cross it the same way we would, with boats and such). But then again, you occasionally get vampires who can stride across the sea-floor quite happily. And if you got a vampire civilisation developing, they would probably build vampire submarines.

Thermonuclear weaponry will almost certainly kill any vampire. When sunlight doesn't work, drop a tiny sun on the fucker.

[StarmanJr]

one of the interesting myths of vampires in my opinion is that if they are not around their coffin when daylight begins to come around, they can bury themselves underground and survive the sunlight, for apparently, the cold earth simulates the same environment of a coffin and the nutrients of the earth replenish their body.

if i saw a sleeping vampire head sticking out of the ground, i would show him the feet that won me a scholarship for 'kick the can'.

srsly.

[KharBevNor]

I think generally they would bury themselves so they weren't just an incapacitated head sticking out the ground.

Any ones of them that actually wanted to take advantage of the whole immortality thing, anyway.