Topic: Unsurprisingly, The Speed Racer Film Looks Garish And Terrifying (Read 37233 times)

Johnny C · « **on:** 07 Dec 2007, 12:39 »

Oh, and for poos and giggles, John Goodman as Pop:

Trailer watchable here. Of course, I use "watchable" in the loosest sense of the word. Thanks, Wachowski Brothers, for making possibly one of the ugliest movies I've ever looked at.

Scandanavian War Machine · « **Reply #1 on:** 07 Dec 2007, 12:54 »

oh fuck no they didn't

and Christina Ricci, i used to think you were hot. now...i just don't know.

Johnny C · « **Reply #2 on:** 07 Dec 2007, 14:23 »

It doesn't help that they've given her a haircut like Moe Howard's.

KvP · « **Reply #3 on:** 07 Dec 2007, 14:30 »

I'm reminded of Lazytown.

Save your money and buy Death Race 2000, or something.

Tom · « **Reply #4 on:** 07 Dec 2007, 14:43 »

Wachowski brothers fail at everything they do. They try to be arty, fun and provide a serious amount of action but they just can't, and never will, pull it off.

Storm Rider · « **Reply #5 on:** 07 Dec 2007, 15:15 »

I actually think this movie might be so terrible that it ends up being hilarious.

Vancroth · « **Reply #6 on:** 07 Dec 2007, 15:30 »

That would be its best bet. Hopefully they'll show it at my school's weekly movie screening. Watching this kind of film is actually enjoyable when it's on a huge screen and you're surrounded by a bunch of college kids, especially since it's free. At least that is how it was for TMNT and Transformers.

Dissy · « **Reply #7 on:** 07 Dec 2007, 15:34 »

I keep looking at the first picture and think, "hey, that's the kid from Girl Next Door! He's all growed up"

They could have chosen a lot more attractive girl than Ricci, and the wig is just aweful.

Tom · « **Reply #8 on:** 07 Dec 2007, 15:38 »

I recall Trixie being anorexic in the cartoon.

Joseph · « **Reply #9 on:** 07 Dec 2007, 15:39 »

Looks to me like the Wachowski Brothers were eating a load of skittles, then threw up all over their storyboard.

Dissy · « **Reply #10 on:** 07 Dec 2007, 15:42 »

Quote from: n0t_r0bert_b0yle!! on 07 Dec 2007, 15:38

I recall Trixie being anorexic in the cartoon.

Like this?

http://imdb.com/gallery/granitz/6523/Je_Jean_14863152_400.jpg.html?path=pgallery&path_key=Morrison%2C%20Jennifer%20(II)&seq=9

camelpimp · « **Reply #11 on:** 07 Dec 2007, 16:11 »

That video seems to no longer be available.

But the concept of a Wachowski-made Speed Racer live action movie is so grotesque horrifying that I have to ask: that's a fucking joke, right?

Ozymandias · « **Reply #12 on:** 07 Dec 2007, 18:42 »

You guys are kidding, right?

Because that trailer basically looks like Speed Racer. I mean...it looks garish and too colorful because Speed Racer was fucking garish and too colorful. There's nothing about that trailer that looks wrong considering the source material except for the fact it's futuristic.

Were you expecting Children of Men or something?

Blue Kitty · « **Reply #13 on:** 07 Dec 2007, 18:45 »

John Goodman

that is all

TheFuriousWombat · « **Reply #14 on:** 07 Dec 2007, 18:54 »

Hey, he was good in Barton Fink, The Big Lebowski, and O Brother Where Art Thou. He's not 100% awful all the time (although I bet he will be in this).

Blue Kitty · « **Reply #15 on:** 07 Dec 2007, 18:56 »

that is not why I think the movie will be terrible, that is why I am going to see it

that, and Racer X

Ozymandias · « **Reply #16 on:** 07 Dec 2007, 19:35 »

Quote from: TheFuriousWombat on 07 Dec 2007, 18:54

Hey, he was good in Barton Fink, The Big Lebowski, and O Brother Where Art Thou. He's not 100% awful all the time (although I bet he will be in this).

John Goodman is always awesome screw you.

Tehz · « **Reply #17 on:** 07 Dec 2007, 19:46 »

Wait....what?

The fuck is this?

Liz · « **Reply #18 on:** 07 Dec 2007, 20:16 »

Oh Emile Hirsch, you are so hot and did an amazing job in Into the Wild. Now you come out with this and all I want to ask is WHAT THEY HELL ARE YOU THINKING?!?!

Tom · « **Reply #19 on:** 07 Dec 2007, 20:18 »

I don't think that he was actually thinking.

StaedlerMars · « **Reply #20 on:** 07 Dec 2007, 20:28 »

I liked V for Vendetta the movie, that was wachowski right?

And yes, I read the comic before the movie came out. And yes, I thought it was a pretty darned comic. And yes, I thought the movie was really good too.

And no, I didn't like the 2nd or the 3rd matrixes.

I've never read watchmen though. I really want to.

TheFuriousWombat · « **Reply #21 on:** 07 Dec 2007, 21:53 »

Quote from: Ozymandias on 07 Dec 2007, 19:35

Quote from: TheFuriousWombat on 07 Dec 2007, 18:54
Hey, he was good in Barton Fink, The Big Lebowski, and O Brother Where Art Thou. He's not 100% awful all the time (although I bet he will be in this).

John Goodman is always awesome screw you.

Goodman's been in Arachnaphobia, The Flinstones Movie, Blue Brothers 2000, Bringing out the Dead, The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle, Coyote Ugly and Evan Almighty, among other atrocities. In other words: sorry, you're wrong.

KvP · « **Reply #22 on:** 07 Dec 2007, 22:04 »

I'd say Walter Sobchak makes up for each and every one of those. Any of his Coens performances, really.

Felix_ · « **Reply #23 on:** 08 Dec 2007, 01:12 »

No. Really.

Fuck.

Ozymandias · « **Reply #24 on:** 08 Dec 2007, 07:10 »

Quote from: TheFuriousWombat on 07 Dec 2007, 21:53

Goodman's been in Arachnaphobia, The Flinstones Movie, Blue Brothers 2000, Bringing out the Dead, The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle, Coyote Ugly and Evan Almighty, among other atrocities. In other words: sorry, you're wrong.

And he is always awesome I don't know what the problem is here.

Cartilage Head · « **Reply #25 on:** 08 Dec 2007, 09:39 »

Looks beyond awesome to me. They should talk a little faster though.

ImRonBurgundy? · « **Reply #26 on:** 08 Dec 2007, 11:02 »

Quote from: StaedlerMars on 07 Dec 2007, 20:28

I liked V for Vendetta the movie, that was wachowski right?

I don't think they directed it, though.

EDIT: That first picture looks like a 12-year-old's first attempt at photoshop.

bryanthelion · « **Reply #27 on:** 08 Dec 2007, 15:13 »

Sure, the CGI looks like I took a dump on my WACOM tablet. But I think the movie looks like a fun take on an anime.

Johnny C · « **Reply #28 on:** 08 Dec 2007, 16:52 »

Quote from: TheFuriousWombat on 07 Dec 2007, 21:53

Goodman's been in Arachnaphobia, The Flinstones Movie, Blue Brothers 2000, Bringing out the Dead, The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle, Coyote Ugly and Evan Almighty, among other atrocities. In other words: sorry, you're wrong.

You are greatly confusing a good performance with a good film.

John Goodman is fuckin' awesome no matter what script you hand him. Also, Bringing Out The Dead isn't bad so go away.

Anyways, Speed Racer. Hyper-saturated photography, costumes that look stupid on actual human people and dialogue that doesn't even make an attempt at realism. The only lines I didn't rankle at were delivered by John Goodman.

Storm Rider · « **Reply #29 on:** 08 Dec 2007, 17:35 »

All I'm getting out of these statements is that it's remaining true to the source material.

bryanthelion · « **Reply #30 on:** 08 Dec 2007, 19:07 »

[quote author=Johnny C link=topic=18373.msg572938#msg572938 date=1197161549

... and dialogue that doesn't even make an attempt at realism. The only lines I didn't rankle at were delivered by John Goodman.
[/quote]

Your right, its not attempting at realisim. Because its not supposed to, I think this movie would be 2000 times worse if it tried to be real and edgy.

Emaline · « **Reply #31 on:** 08 Dec 2007, 19:44 »

The first thing I focus on in that John Goodman picture is his freaking boobs. What the hell? Where did he get such big boobs?

Anyway, I agree with the comment about them talking faster.

KvP · « **Reply #32 on:** 08 Dec 2007, 19:45 »

Quote from: Emaline on 08 Dec 2007, 19:44

The first thing I focus on in that John Goodman picture is his freaking boobs. What the hell? Where did he get such big boobs?

If I were to venture a guess, I'd say it would have something to do with the fact that he is well overweight.

Emaline · « **Reply #33 on:** 08 Dec 2007, 21:06 »

He has been fat for awhile though, and has never had boobs like that.

Anyway, after watching some videos, I decided that this movie better have a lot of "gasp! pause". I'll be pretty disappointed if it doesn't.

Johnny C · « **Reply #34 on:** 08 Dec 2007, 22:35 »

Quote from: thatwittygeek on 08 Dec 2007, 19:07

I think this movie would be 2000 times worse if it tried to be real and edgy.

Look. If you want your fucking cars to race upside down and in weird hellish CGI landscapes while Christina Ricci alks around with a bad mannequin hairdo, fine. I will accept this. But if you're movie's going to be painful to listen to and to look at then you fucked up! You fucked up.

I honestly don't know how you could watch the trailer and think, "They could have made worse decisions!" They already made the worst decisions. They have made a series of the worst decisions.

I mean, it's probably going to be unintentionally hilarious, but right now it looks more garish than Across The Universe and that's saying something.

tomselleck69 · « **Reply #35 on:** 09 Dec 2007, 05:32 »

Quote from: http://speedracerthemovie.warnerbros.com/

"The inspiring, true story of Szpeid Racowicz, a young boy who escapes the ghettos of Poland as World War II looms on the horizon. He emigrates to America to find his family but ends up trapped in a dead end job on the docks in New York. It seems as if all is lost, until one night "Speed" opens a mysterious crate that contains a piece of the True Cross, which he uses to build a car that will change the world..."

fuck you guys this is going to be awesome.

Jimmy the Squid · « **Reply #36 on:** 09 Dec 2007, 09:28 »

Ah. This is obviously some strange new use of the word "awesome" that I had not previously been aware of.

I watched the preview. It was like this drug trip in a movie I saw when I was on this drug trip.

Cartilage Head · « **Reply #37 on:** 09 Dec 2007, 11:06 »

Johnny if what you said was a blow to Across The Universe I can no longer accept your argument as valid.

Ozymandias · « **Reply #38 on:** 09 Dec 2007, 11:26 »

Johnny did you never even watch Speed Racer as a kid?

Storm Rider · « **Reply #39 on:** 09 Dec 2007, 12:35 »

Quote from: tomselleck69 on 09 Dec 2007, 05:32

Quote from: http://speedracerthemovie.warnerbros.com/
"The inspiring, true story of Szpeid Racowicz, a young boy who escapes the ghettos of Poland as World War II looms on the horizon. He emigrates to America to find his family but ends up trapped in a dead end job on the docks in New York. It seems as if all is lost, until one night "Speed" opens a mysterious crate that contains a piece of the True Cross, which he uses to build a car that will change the world..."

fuck you guys this is going to be awesome.

OK, I looked at that website to see if it really, truly said that, and it doesn't! You're a liar and a thief!

tomselleck69 · « **Reply #40 on:** 09 Dec 2007, 17:02 »

What have I stolen? Your INNOCENCE?

Okay okay okay you got me. What they ARE doing is removing all the car racing scenes and substituting them with endurance racing with motorcycles, snowmobiles and the yeti. Unfortunately, the yeti can't handle the heat of the race track and doesn't have a legal international drivers license, so Brad Pitt (Mr. Smith) has to get the yeti back to Tibet within Se7en years using only his street motorcycle and snowmobiles, otherwise his head will end up in a Chinese takeout box and the Yeti will be in Clear and Present Danger of running into the dangerous Fugitive Harrison Ford (Mr. Smith), played by Wesley Snipes (Mr. Smith) from U.S. Marshals. Since the Wachowskis have run into some 11th-hour balking with the Racowicz estate, they have decided to scrap the whole Speed Racer idea and make the project a sequel to Mr. and Mrs. Smith a la the Matrix entitled (I believe) Mr. and Mr. Smith's Se7en Year Voyage to Tibet with Yeti on Motorcycle and Snowmobile.

bryanthelion · « **Reply #41 on:** 09 Dec 2007, 17:07 »

I watched the trailer again. Still looks like a pretty fun movie.

Also, I second the person who said they should talk really really fast.

Tom · « **Reply #42 on:** 09 Dec 2007, 17:38 »

Quote from: tomselleck69 on 09 Dec 2007, 17:02

Mr. and Mr. Smith's Se7en Year Voyage to Tibet with Yeti on Snowmobile and Motorcycle Diaries.

0bsessions · « **Reply #43 on:** 09 Dec 2007, 19:20 »

Quote from: tomselleck69 on 09 Dec 2007, 17:02

What have I stolen? Your INNOCENCE?

Okay okay okay you got me. What they ARE doing is removing all the car racing scenes and substituting them with endurance racing with motorcycles, snowmobiles and the yeti. Unfortunately, the yeti can't handle the heat of the race track and doesn't have a legal international drivers license, so Brad Pitt (Mr. Smith) has to get the yeti back to Tibet within Se7en years using only his street motorcycle and snowmobiles, otherwise his head will end up in a Chinese takeout box and the Yeti will be in Clear and Present Danger of running into the dangerous Fugitive Harrison Ford (Mr. Smith), played by Wesley Snipes (Mr. Smith) from U.S. Marshals. Since the Wachowskis have run into some 11th-hour balking with the Racowicz estate, they have decided to scrap the whole Speed Racer idea and make the project a sequel to Mr. and Mrs. Smith a la the Matrix entitled (I believe) Mr. and Mr. Smith's Se7en Year Voyage to Tibet with Yeti on Motorcycle and Snowmobile.

Sold.

MusicScribbles · « **Reply #44 on:** 09 Dec 2007, 20:43 »

tomselleck has just given me reason to see this movie. Garish and terrifying is no longer a problem.

Johnny C · « **Reply #45 on:** 09 Dec 2007, 22:27 »

Quote from: Ozymandias on 09 Dec 2007, 11:26

Johnny did you never even watch Speed Racer as a kid?

I did. It was cheap, not cheap and hideous. Plus it was a fucking anime so it had an excuse for looking like that.

ImRonBurgundy? · « **Reply #46 on:** 09 Dec 2007, 23:00 »

Quote from: Sam on 09 Dec 2007, 10:30

Okay, seriously, I can't stop coming back to this picture. What is that coming out from behind his head? An explosion? A doily?

Ozymandias · « **Reply #47 on:** 09 Dec 2007, 23:02 »

Quote from: Johnny C on 09 Dec 2007, 22:27

I did. It was cheap, not cheap and hideous. Plus it was a fucking anime so it had an excuse for looking like that.

You are wrong about your entire life.

Inlander · « **Reply #48 on:** 09 Dec 2007, 23:04 »

Quote from: ImRonBurgundy? on 09 Dec 2007, 23:00

What is that coming out from behind his head? An explosion? A doily?

The picture demonstrates that thoughts go into Speed Racer's head in straight lines and come out as racing cars so fast that they cannot be represented within the confines of conventional geometry. This demonstrates how much Speed Racer embodies the race. The, uh, speedy race.

ImRonBurgundy? · « **Reply #49 on:** 09 Dec 2007, 23:12 »

By that interpretation, Speed Racer's dialogue would consist entirely of him yelling "VROOOOOOOOOOMMMM!" constantly. Which would be infinitely more watchable.

THESE FORUMS NOW CLOSED (read only)

Author Topic: Unsurprisingly, The Speed Racer Film Looks Garish And Terrifying (Read 37233 times)

camelpimp

Felix_