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Author Topic: Please, Just Let Me Die Already  (Read 182846 times)

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Please, Just Let Me Die Already
« on: 25 Feb 2009, 08:54 »

Since I seem to be the only guy on this forum capable of maintaining a relationship at this point, it has become readily apparent that the lot of you are shitty at not breaking up with people. So, here I am to answer all of your questions concerning relationships. Finding them, keeping them and related questions are all fair game. Asking me why I'm not in a relationship with you specifically, while a fair question, is not one I will answer for the good of your collective self esteems. If I don't like your question, I will either ignore it or some such.

In the interest of having a different perspective, we will have the recently single Mai also answering some of your questions. Questions are to be addressed in general to us, as it is not our prerogative to make sure you have a say in who takes care of your problems.

Self indulgent threads are the new black. Begin.
« Last Edit: 15 Sep 2009, 21:39 by 0bsessions »
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #1 on: 25 Feb 2009, 09:00 »

Why is he so clingy? Why is he rushing everything? Why do I feel like I'm slowly suffocating?
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #2 on: 25 Feb 2009, 09:02 »

Since I seem to be the only very vocal guy on this forum capable of maintaining a relationship at this point with another high profile boarder

FYP

Oh, and I don't need any advice as I'm already too busy coming to terms with the fact that I am going to die alone to even consider a relationship.  But I'll eagerly watch this thread like the little voyeur I am for the wonderful gems of insight that it will undoubtedly produce.  
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #3 on: 25 Feb 2009, 09:02 »

Why do all the girls I have things for either have boyfriends or are just not interested?
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Wait so you're letting something that happened 10 years ago ruin your quality of life? What are you, America? :psyduck:

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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #4 on: 25 Feb 2009, 09:03 »

Why is he so clingy? Why is he rushing everything? Why do I feel like I'm slowly suffocating?

How long have you been together? One's clinginess and rushing may be a matter of perspective. That said, in my experience, clinginess is the result of feelings of inadequacy or related issues. Have you discussed the problem with him?
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #5 on: 25 Feb 2009, 09:04 »

Oh, and I don't need any advice as I'm already too busy coming to terms with the fact that I am going to die alone to even consider a relationship.

This is the result of either a terminal disease or full blown lack of confidence. See someone in either case.
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #6 on: 25 Feb 2009, 09:06 »

Why do all the girls I have things for either have boyfriends or are just not interested?

Because you lack confidence. Seriously guys, stop developing a fucking theme for me. I am more than passingly familiar with your situations, Shane, and your biggest problems are a lack of confidence and initiative. Bluntly speaking: you wait too long. If you dig a girl, let her know. Don't wait a month and THEN let her know. If she says no, big whoop, try again with someone else.
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #7 on: 25 Feb 2009, 09:07 »

Dear Dating Thread,

I recently scored a ....get-togetherish-maybe-dateish-thing with an old crush. When I ran into him recently, I super blushed at him and old feelings are totally still kinda there. Should I make a move on this "date"? What should I wear, something low cut and slutty or something nice, and fancy, or something just totally laidback, that will probably make me look like a boy? Should I wear a skirt??


Please help me, dating thread.

With love,
Emaline
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #8 on: 25 Feb 2009, 09:10 »

Why is he so clingy? Why is he rushing everything? Why do I feel like I'm slowly suffocating?

this. sort of.

except i understand why he's clingy and somewhat paranoid (low self esteem, mostly. i have been trying to do things to improve his self-esteem but i don't feel like i've accomplished much), i just don't like it at all, and find it hard to deal with and i guess my question would be "is staying with someone like that worthwhile or is it just going to drive me completely crazy in the end and make me flip the fuck out?" he is a decent guy with some issues.  i don't really think breaking up with him over them would be fair and i am not expecting to find someone who is "perfectly normal" because i don't think that's realistic.  
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #9 on: 25 Feb 2009, 09:14 »

I recently scored a ....get-togetherish-maybe-dateish-thing with an old crush. When I ran into him recently, I super blushed at him and old feelings are totally still kinda there. Should I make a move on this "date"? What should I wear, something low cut and slutty or something nice, and fancy, or something just totally laidback, that will probably make me look like a boy? Should I wear a skirt??

If you want to make a move then you should probably make a move. In terms of what to wear, it depends upon your goals for the evening. Do you plan to do the guy? If so, low cut, not slutty and a skirt maybe. You want to potentially tease the guy a bit, but going overboard and making your intent too obvious can be a huge turnoff. I say something low cut and a skirt down past the knees. It looks relatively classy while still being slightly tempting and also dudes love skirts, for many obvious reasons.

except i understand why he's clingy and somewhat paranoid (low self esteem, mostly. i have been trying to do things to improve his self-esteem but i don't feel like i've accomplished much), i just don't like it at all, and find it hard to deal with and i guess my question would be "is staying with someone like that worthwhile or is it just going to drive me completely crazy in the end and make me flip the fuck out?" he is a decent guy with some issues.  i don't really think breaking up with him over them would be fair and i am not expecting to find someone who is "perfectly normal" because i don't think that's realistic.  

Breaking up with someone over insecurity is entirely fair. Roughing it out in hopes he'll improve is not fair to either of you. Guys do not grow a pair by being coddled. Tell him what you want and expect of him and if he doesn't live up to your standard, it'll be time to look elsewhere. It may not seem possible, but the only way a guy will grow a pair is by being forced to in a lot of situations. They will eventually adapt.
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #10 on: 25 Feb 2009, 09:14 »

Why is he so clingy? Why is he rushing everything? Why do I feel like I'm slowly suffocating?

How long have you been together? One's clinginess and rushing may be a matter of perspective. That said, in my experience, clinginess is the result of feelings of inadequacy or related issues. Have you discussed the problem with him?

I tried but I am bad at this stuff. I don't want to hurt him.
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #11 on: 25 Feb 2009, 09:17 »

See, that's a big part of your problem right there, Allison. An individual can change, we're an adaptive breed. A person will not change, however, if they are not prompted with reason to. If being a sad sack is working for the guy, he's going to keep being a sad sack. Expecting him to change without giving a proper effort to make him do so is the truly unfair situation.
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #12 on: 25 Feb 2009, 09:25 »

If you want to make a move then you should probably make a move. In terms of what to wear, it depends upon your goals for the evening. Do you plan to do the guy? If so, low cut, not slutty and a skirt maybe. You want to potentially tease the guy a bit, but going overboard and making your intent too obvious can be a huge turnoff. I say something low cut and a skirt down past the knees. It looks relatively classy while still being slightly tempting and also dudes love skirts, for many obvious reasons.

i mostly agree except that the low cut top / short skirt depends on which half of your body is better.  if you have great legs but no boobs go for a mini and a flattering, but not revealing, top instead.
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #13 on: 25 Feb 2009, 09:38 »

Should I go for the short girl with the WOAH! body who still has feelings for my best friend, or the cool, but not a supermodel girl?


SRS.
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #14 on: 25 Feb 2009, 09:39 »

Breaking up with someone over insecurity is entirely fair. Roughing it out in hopes he'll improve is not fair to either of you. Guys do not grow a pair by being coddled. Tell him what you want and expect of him and if he doesn't live up to your standard, it'll be time to look elsewhere. It may not seem possible, but the only way a guy will grow a pair is by being forced to in a lot of situations. They will eventually adapt.

i am not sure how to do this.  :|

also in other relationship-but-not-really related news there is this other guy i met while taking a bit of a break from clingy boy who did not want a serious relationship and we had a brief friends with benefits thing going on and that was decent but for some reason i decided i would rather have a serious relationship and ended up going back to the boy who does want that. now, yesterday i messaged other boy on facebook asking him if he wants to hang out sometime, just because i am going to be in the city where he lives on friday and seeing him while i'm there might be nice. i didn't say anything that could be considered flirty or suggestive. i'm not trying to fuck him, seriously. however, he was all like "oh i don't think so, i don't wanna make things more complicated between you and your boyfriend". which is respectable, but not the answer i was looking for. also i don't see how hanging out as friends without benefits would ruin everything forever.
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #15 on: 25 Feb 2009, 09:41 »

Should I go for the short girl with the WOAH! body who still has feelings for my best friend, or the cool, but not a supermodel girl?

Assuming you find both girls physically attractive, you should go for the girl you find yourself most compatible with and who you are emotionally and mentally attracted to.  What does being a supermodel have to do with anything?
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #16 on: 25 Feb 2009, 09:42 »

also in other relationship-but-not-really related news there is this other guy i met while taking a bit of a break from clingy boy who did not want a serious relationship and we had a brief friends with benefits thing going on and that was decent but for some reason i decided i would rather have a serious relationship and ended up going back to the boy who does want that. now, yesterday i messaged other boy on facebook asking him if he wants to hang out sometime, just because i am going to be in the city where he lives on friday and seeing him while i'm there might be nice. i didn't say anything that could be considered flirty or suggestive. i'm not trying to fuck him, seriously. however, he was all like "oh i don't think so, i don't wanna make things more complicated between you and your boyfriend". which is respectable, but not the answer i was looking for. also i don't see how hanging out as friends without benefits would ruin everything forever.

is there a question here?
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #17 on: 25 Feb 2009, 09:46 »

i would like to see him, without giving off the impression that i am looking for someone to cheat on my boyfriend with because i'm not.
what do i say/do?
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #18 on: 25 Feb 2009, 09:51 »

tell him, "i want to hang out with you because you are a cool dude but i have no interest in making out or doing any other kind of thing that would jeapordize my current relationship.  are you okay with being platonic friends?  because that is all i am looking for from you."

pretty straightforward, really.
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #19 on: 25 Feb 2009, 09:58 »

i guess so, i just haven't had a friend with benefits before so i'm not sure if it's possible to make the transition to a strictly platonic friendship afterwards. based on what i've heard about other people's experience with this sorta thing, they were friends for a long time first (the boy in question is a relatively new friend) and then decided to start having makeouts and such and then maybe going back to a normal friendship if need be feels less weird? i am obviously not an expert on these matters.

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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #20 on: 25 Feb 2009, 10:10 »

Should I go for the short girl with the WOAH! body who still has feelings for my best friend, or the cool, but not a supermodel girl?

Assuming you find both girls physically attractive, you should go for the girl you find yourself most compatible with and who you are emotionally and mentally attracted to.  What does being a supermodel have to do with anything?
By that, I meant in comparison, the first girl is more attractive.
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #21 on: 25 Feb 2009, 10:15 »

don't be shallow.
how well do you know the girls? would you rather be happy with an average-looking girl with an awesome personality or miserable but banging a high-maintenance, self-absorbed supermodel type?

however, if you like them equally in terms of personality choosing the one you have more physical chemistry with makes sense.
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #22 on: 25 Feb 2009, 10:16 »

By that, I meant in comparison, the first girl is more attractive.

and i am saying that, unless otherwise they are the exact same person, this should not be a factor.  unless you are just looking for a physical fling, then go with the hot one i guess.
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #23 on: 25 Feb 2009, 10:17 »

Let's not be too hasty, folks.

Mr. Blu, it depends entirely, as is often the case, upon what you're looking for. Are you just looking for a cheap fling right now? If so, go for the hotter one. This isn't specifically because of the physical attraction, more for the reduced likelihood of ruining the better prospect that is the other girl. If you're just in an irresponsible mode right now, you want to avoid girls you think you would be compatible with in the longer term so that you don't risk not taking it seriously enough.

A caveat, though: you mention she's still got a thing for your best friend. This seems to imply there might have been something there before. Clear it with your friend first, just in case.
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #24 on: 25 Feb 2009, 10:58 »

Since I seem to be the only very vocal guy on this forum capable of maintaining a relationship at this point with another high profile boarder

FYP

I'm high profile?  Who knew?
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #25 on: 25 Feb 2009, 11:02 »

why do all the beautiful ladies who like the same things as me and are fun to be around end up being lesbians?


is it a horrible coicidence or am i subconsciously sabotaging myself?
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #26 on: 25 Feb 2009, 11:05 »

This could be a pattern you've formed. Are you meeting all of these lesbians through other lesbians? That could be your problem. I remember back when I was a teenager, I hung out with a lot of teenagers. I assume lesbians might often enjoy the company of other lesbians in much the same way.
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #27 on: 25 Feb 2009, 11:13 »

no, not really.

it's been seemingly random and spread out over the course of two or three years.
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #28 on: 25 Feb 2009, 11:23 »

why do all the beautiful ladies who like the same things as me and are fun to be around end up being lesbians?


is it a horrible coicidence or am i subconsciously sabotaging myself?

They all arch their backs at you, don't they.
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Wait so you're letting something that happened 10 years ago ruin your quality of life? What are you, America? :psyduck:

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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #29 on: 25 Feb 2009, 11:24 »

jon, how do i tell the boyfriend to stop being an insecure bitch without actually saying "stop being an insecure bitch or else i will leave you forever?" also i don't want him to completely change and start acting cocky and macho instead because that is a major turn off for me.

mai, i took your advice re:messaging other boy. i am nervously waiting for a response now. blahhh.

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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #30 on: 25 Feb 2009, 11:25 »

Dear Relationship Thread,

I really like a girl but she is the wrong colour and in the wrong country.

She also has a really dumb dog.

Am I gay?

Love,

Tommy
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #31 on: 25 Feb 2009, 11:27 »

jon, how do i tell the boyfriend to stop being an insecure bitch without actually saying "stop being an insecure bitch or else i will leave you forever?"

I'm not tmidgett but threatening to leave him for worrying about you leaving him might compound the problem just a little bit.
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #32 on: 25 Feb 2009, 11:31 »

He can be insecure without acting insecure.  Reassure him that you want to be with him, but some things bug you a little.  Clearing the air usually helps. 
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #33 on: 25 Feb 2009, 11:32 »

Hey dating thread, how come guys in my town don't like me, yet when I go out of province or on the internet guys find me attractive and endearing? Occasionally very smart too when they listen. Yet I still get teased and have never been on a proper date despite having three boyfriends. Why do I keep dating crazies?

Come on interbutts, gimme answers.
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #34 on: 25 Feb 2009, 11:45 »

regional preferences maybe? or maybe you are just not looking hard enough. hmm or perhaps you are really annoying in person or something, i don't know (that seems fairly unlikely).

it's hard for me to imagine an entire population of men not finding you incredibley attractive.


actually, upon second thought...maybe they find you too attractive and are too intimidated to say anything to you. i know that's stopped me from talking to women before, so i'm sure there are lots of others like me.
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #35 on: 25 Feb 2009, 11:47 »

 Andy, do you look for guys in your town? It really depends on who you are trying to go for in your town. If you know all the guys you like really well, they might not think of you as more than a friend. Meanwhile, when you go out of the province people thin you are the Foxy Girl From Far Away. Same thing on the internet. Also, if you want to go on a proper date, just do it. Date dudes BEFORE they become your boyfriend.
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #36 on: 25 Feb 2009, 11:55 »

Where do I find intelligent girls? I am sick of all these clueless ladies that have no interest in the subtleties of the stock market and vector calculus. I have tried the library and had moderate success but everyone there is always like "shhh this is a library, not a dating service." If you're an intellectually attractive lady could you please give me some advice on where to search?

Oh, and I have a second problem, I really like redheads but in my experience redheads have proven to be invariably crazy. Am I just grabbing all the wrong redheads? Or do I need to ignore my love of red hair?
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #37 on: 25 Feb 2009, 12:03 »

Andy, that sounds like me! If your town is as small as mine, this could be because you grew up around those guys. I was a pretty lame nerdy girl in school, so no one really noticed me, and my guy friends from home still look at me like that even though I know I've changed a lot. When I started going other places and guys looked at me differently I was all "Haha, you think I'm pretty? What is wrong with you, I'm not pretty", and it took a while for me to realize that I've been sorta labeled for life as the girl who is not dating/girlfriend-material at all back home. In small towns getting rid of certain labels (nerd, slut, whatever) is really difficult and my advice to you is to look forward to the day you get out of there, because you'll have so much fun.
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #38 on: 25 Feb 2009, 12:12 »

jon, how do i tell the boyfriend to stop being an insecure bitch without actually saying "stop being an insecure bitch or else i will leave you forever?"

You don't.

Seriously, though, you have to come out with some of it. If you don't tell him it drives you up a wall, it will continue to drive you up a wall until the point where it all ends ugly. Don't give him a direct ultimatum, but tell him his insecurity is driving you nuts and lay it out that you're with him because you want to be, but his insecurities complicate matters. If that is somehow not true, then you shouldn't actually be with him.

Dear Relationship Thread,

I really like a girl but she is the wrong colour and in the wrong country.

She also has a really dumb dog.

Am I gay?

Love,

Tommy

Yes.

Hey dating thread, how come guys in my town don't like me, yet when I go out of province or on the internet guys find me attractive and endearing? Occasionally very smart too when they listen. Yet I still get teased and have never been on a proper date despite having three boyfriends. Why do I keep dating crazies?

Part of the problem, honestly, from what little I know of you, is that you have acclimated yourself outside of your age range. You primarily speak online with dudes who are in their early twenties, yet you are, last I recall, sixteen or seventeen. This puts you in a position where you're associating with dudes who are at a vastly different emotional and social level than the dudes you would naturally be encountering in a dating capacity. Meanwhile, if you extend your dating pool to primarily guys in the age range of folks you talk to online, you run into the trouble of dating the kind of twenty something who would date a seventeen year old. This is going to sound harsh, and I know there's exceptions, but many guys who date girls your age at our age are guys who just aren't sufficiently socially competent enough to date a girl their own age, so they 'settle' for younger girls as they're easier to impress.

My basic advice is that your standards are probably part of your problem. Guys your age are supposed to be dumb. If you want to continue dating at your age, you should probably resolve to deal with that for the time being until you're older.

Where do I find intelligent girls? I am sick of all these clueless ladies that have no interest in the subtleties of the stock market and vector calculus. I have tried the library and had moderate success but everyone there is always like "shhh this is a library, not a dating service." If you're an intellectually attractive lady could you please give me some advice on where to search?

Oh, and I have a second problem, I really like redheads but in my experience redheads have proven to be invariably crazy. Am I just grabbing all the wrong redheads? Or do I need to ignore my love of red hair?

On the former problem, you're probably going about it wrong. Honestly, in my experience, the best place to meet smart girls who dig shit like the stock market and maths is online. Girls like that don't go to bars or scout for guys at the library.

In terms of redheads, the problem is that in many places redheads are a minority. It's not that they're less likely to be quality women, just that you're less likely to find one at all. I had a redhead thing for the longest time and Rachel's actually the first redhead I've ever been on more than one date with, mostly because there's just not a lot of them around here.

Mai's in charge for a bit, I have to go watch a baseball game between two teams I don't really care all that much about and then hang out with my girlfriend, because not hanging out with her would be poor relationship advice, guys!
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #39 on: 25 Feb 2009, 12:25 »

Why do girls I like invariably only want to use me for my body, while girls I don't like develop huge, long term, obsessive crushes on me?

Am I just giving it up too easy, or is it just that nice a body with nothing to back it up?
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #40 on: 25 Feb 2009, 12:33 »

Why do girls I like invariably only want to use me for my body, while girls I don't like develop huge, long term, obsessive crushes on me?

Am I just giving it up too easy, or is it just that nice a body with nothing to back it up?

you are probably dressing too provocatively.  don't show off all the goods in one go.  give only a teasing hint of what's to come to leave girls wanting more.  if you seem like you are "easy" people won't respect you for what's beyond your body.

here are some useful tips if you want to dress modestly and maybe get people to love you for who you are.

Quote
1 Go through your closet. Do not jump to throw out clothes that seem immodest, because there are many possibilities and new ways to use them.
 
2 A unique, modest style isn't impossible! Decide what your standards of modesty are. Does modesty for you mean dressing in a way your relatives would approve of? Does it mean covering your shoulders and thighs? Does it mean avoiding clothes that cling to your skin? Is it covering your arms and legs? Figure out what makes you comfortable and feels right to you.

3 Try your clothes on in front of a large mirror. See how your clothing fits you and what impression it conveys. Bend over, sit down, wave your arms around. Make sure your clothes don't shift around too much.

4 When you go shopping, keep your eyes out for modest clothing. If what's in is crop-tops and that's not modest for you, look in other places, such as second-hand clothing stores and online stores. Also recognize that it might take longer to find clothing, but it's certainly possible.

« Last Edit: 25 Feb 2009, 12:36 by mooface »
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #41 on: 25 Feb 2009, 12:52 »

Kieff, I think it's because you're probably specifically attracted to girls who are independent enough to not look for commitment in a sexual relationship.  The girls that turn you on the most do so BECAUSE they don't develop huge obsessive long-term crushes on you ... it's a sign that if you got into a relationship with them, you wouldn't feel the need to walk on eggshells just to make sure they felt secure, and that's hot.

Basically this puts you in an uncomfortable position because you have to give the advantage to a girl that you actually like when you proposition them for a more serious relationship.  Saying "Hey, um, I know we're just having sex and it's not serious and all, and that's cool I guess, but I'd really like it if we got together for real for real" puts you at a disadvantage in some ways.  Are you willing to do this (or have you already)?  What happens when you express heartfelt desire for commitment?
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #42 on: 25 Feb 2009, 13:21 »

Get a hobby, preferably a physically active one (unicycling was mine).  First off, it'll take your mind off things and get you in a mode to pursue achievements, removing a lot of self-judgments about being useless/unskilled etc.  Secondly, you'll have something new to know what you're talking about with, which can help remove self-judgment about being socially inept (I basically perfected a 10-15 minute spiel about unicycling that could legitimately make just about anyone interested in what I was saying.  You would be amazed how many friends it helped me make.)  Third, you'll eventually meet a girl who's into the same thing (the first two girls I slept with in my life were both unicyclists and very intelligent and physically attractive ones at that).  Fourth, it'll actually improve your body because it'll be exercise that is also fun.

Having a hobby that gets you outdoors and moving around and that you really enjoy will help a lot, I think.  It'll give you new skills, exercise, new conversation starters, a new channel to maybe meet someone cool, and eventually a fair amount of confidence.
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #43 on: 25 Feb 2009, 13:26 »

Just start a band, Jens.
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #44 on: 25 Feb 2009, 13:49 »

I am in a serious long term relationship & I have advice:

Stop asking people on the internet for advice and go out and do. Really the best course of action here is just go out and try. And hey iof it doesn't work perfect the first time then try again. Trial and error dudes. You can get all the best advice in the world but it don't mean shit really when it comes down to it, you've got to just go for it.
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #45 on: 25 Feb 2009, 14:07 »

jens whatever you do, please please please do not buy any books claiming they will teach you what women really want or how to get any lady you want and thus improve your confidence vastly.  they offer horrible advice, and i am convinced that every guy who actually takes them seriously ends up turning into a huge dick.

honestly you'd be better off asking us internet people because some of us actually know what we're talking about. hobbies are good. having them implies you are interesting and independent and that's an attractive quality.
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #46 on: 25 Feb 2009, 14:21 »

i highly recommend axe throwing
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #47 on: 25 Feb 2009, 14:28 »

Unicycling is a really cool hobby, especially if you have good mountain trails in your area.  Mountain unicycling is (a) more fun than any other sport, like, ever, (b) more impressive to most people than almost any other sport, (c) a really good workout, and (d) relatively cheap as far as equipment and maintenance goes.

Here is some inspiration: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1uPznTbus3g
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #48 on: 25 Feb 2009, 14:57 »

By that, I meant in comparison, the first girl is more attractive.

and i am saying that, unless otherwise they are the exact same person, this should not be a factor.  unless you are just looking for a physical fling, then go with the hot one i guess.
I'm not. But I still think she's cool.

don't be shallow.
how well do you know the girls? would you rather be happy with an average-looking girl with an awesome personality or miserable but banging a high-maintenance, self-absorbed supermodel type?

however, if you like them equally in terms of personality choosing the one you have more physical chemistry with makes sense.
I'm shallow.
But I choose, the latter. Thankfully that's not the case.

Let's not be too hasty, folks.

Mr. Blu, it depends entirely, as is often the case, upon what you're looking for. Are you just looking for a cheap fling right now? If so, go for the hotter one. This isn't specifically because of the physical attraction, more for the reduced likelihood of ruining the better prospect that is the other girl. If you're just in an irresponsible mode right now, you want to avoid girls you think you would be compatible with in the longer term so that you don't risk not taking it seriously enough.

A caveat, though: you mention she's still got a thing for your best friend. This seems to imply there might have been something there before. Clear it with your friend first, just in case.
I'm not looking for a "cheap fling". At least not since I messed with the wrong dude's chick.
And my friend really doesn't give a rat's ass. She was going around him at one point because she didn't know what she wanted, and basically pulled a Faye on him. He's busy chasing a girl twice his height.
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #49 on: 25 Feb 2009, 15:03 »

I usually just call up a couple friends and duke it out with swords and shit.  This doesn't happen very often, though.  I need a better physical activity/hobby.  

Something that doesn't require me to use the muscles in my feet much?  I have flat feet and it becomes painful to do certain activities (ice and roller skating, DDR, speedwalking, fencing, stuff that requires me to balance on my feet for extended periods of time) after 10 minutes or so.
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