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Author Topic: Shit that should not exist-- inanimate objects edition  (Read 52775 times)

raoullefere

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Re: Shit that should not exist-- inanimate objects edition
« Reply #100 on: 09 Mar 2009, 19:45 »

I wondered about that. But I've no idea what's eaten in Wales, other than sheep.
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ViolentDove

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Re: Shit that should not exist-- inanimate objects edition
« Reply #101 on: 09 Mar 2009, 20:06 »

A pint of stout with an egg in it.
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With cake ownership set to C and cake consumption set to K, then C + K = 0.  So indeed as one consumes a cake, one simultaneously deprives oneself of cake ownership. 

MrBlu

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Re: Shit that should not exist-- inanimate objects edition
« Reply #102 on: 09 Mar 2009, 21:14 »

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Re: Shit that should not exist-- inanimate objects edition
« Reply #103 on: 09 Mar 2009, 21:44 »

Yeah dude. A fucking BOOKLIGHT?

It needs to come with about ten liters of Flavor Aid :-D
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MrBlu

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Re: Shit that should not exist-- inanimate objects edition
« Reply #104 on: 09 Mar 2009, 21:46 »

There's something that shouldn't exist too.

Flavor Aid. When you're too ghetto to buy real Kool-Aid.
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rather than place the blame on somebody's undeveloped irony sensor, let's just blame the internet, k?
My Last.FM

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Re: Shit that should not exist-- inanimate objects edition
« Reply #105 on: 09 Mar 2009, 23:08 »

Kidney stones.
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Re: Shit that should not exist-- inanimate objects edition
« Reply #107 on: 10 Mar 2009, 00:15 »

Leave them to be strange, they're easily ignored.
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Re: Shit that should not exist-- inanimate objects edition
« Reply #108 on: 10 Mar 2009, 00:53 »

Pacifiers shaped like penises.
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KharBevNor

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Re: Shit that should not exist-- inanimate objects edition
« Reply #109 on: 10 Mar 2009, 02:06 »

Guys.

Your irrational hatred for roundabouts, comfortable sweaters and peeled potatoes is cool and all, but,

Nuclear weapons.
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[22:25] Dovey: i don't get sigquoted much
[22:26] Dovey: like, maybe, 4 or 5 times that i know of?
[22:26] Dovey: and at least one of those was a blatant ploy at getting sigquoted

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David_Dovey

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Re: Shit that should not exist-- inanimate objects edition
« Reply #110 on: 10 Mar 2009, 02:29 »

Why you gotta be that guy
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KharBevNor

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Re: Shit that should not exist-- inanimate objects edition
« Reply #111 on: 10 Mar 2009, 07:23 »

The Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion
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[22:25] Dovey: i don't get sigquoted much
[22:26] Dovey: like, maybe, 4 or 5 times that i know of?
[22:26] Dovey: and at least one of those was a blatant ploy at getting sigquoted

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edwinalink

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Re: Shit that should not exist-- inanimate objects edition
« Reply #112 on: 10 Mar 2009, 07:42 »

floyd rose tremolo...

if you say you can tune it. you're a fucking liar...

V (<thats my downward pointing arrow...so is that>) V   liar.
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KharBevNor

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Re: Shit that should not exist-- inanimate objects edition
« Reply #113 on: 10 Mar 2009, 08:37 »

I can tune them fine, but stringing them is something of a bitch.


Auschwitz.
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[22:25] Dovey: i don't get sigquoted much
[22:26] Dovey: like, maybe, 4 or 5 times that i know of?
[22:26] Dovey: and at least one of those was a blatant ploy at getting sigquoted

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allison

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Re: Shit that should not exist-- inanimate objects edition
« Reply #114 on: 10 Mar 2009, 09:12 »

Guns
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KickThatBathProf

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Re: Shit that should not exist-- inanimate objects edition
« Reply #115 on: 10 Mar 2009, 09:18 »

Cancer.
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Katherine

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Re: Shit that should not exist-- inanimate objects edition
« Reply #116 on: 10 Mar 2009, 11:33 »

oh no way, i would totally buy those! nothing would cheer me up more after slicing myself open and bleeding everywhere than sticking myself back together with bacon. that and i'm super curious now about the free toy.

Sorry I'm late with this reply but the free toy is an itty-bitty plastic pig.  The pirate band-aids come with an itty-bitty pirate ducky.
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raoullefere

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Re: Shit that should not exist-- inanimate objects edition
« Reply #117 on: 10 Mar 2009, 12:54 »

Katheine, I always suspected some people are having more fun than me, but you're proof. I don't even get worthless toys in my cereal anymore.  :-(

Interesting how this thread is taking a turn from the mundane to the profound.

Yeah, KickThatBathProf, cancer is animate. But a nice thought. I got a long list of that sort myself.
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Patrick

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Re: Shit that should not exist-- inanimate objects edition
« Reply #118 on: 10 Mar 2009, 15:52 »

On the subject of guitars, I would like to submit that Fender Custom Shop-made replica of Eddie Van Halen's Frankenstrat. If I wanted cigarette burns on my guitar, I would put them there myself instead of paying $25,500 for a pre-beaten hunk of shit.
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Re: Shit that should not exist-- inanimate objects edition
« Reply #119 on: 10 Mar 2009, 20:06 »

Fecal contamination of drinking water.

Now that's some shit that should not exist.
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TheViscount

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Re: Shit that should not exist-- inanimate objects edition
« Reply #120 on: 10 Mar 2009, 20:08 »

Cancer is not inanimate, I think?

That would be correct.
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Re: Shit that should not exist-- inanimate objects edition
« Reply #121 on: 10 Mar 2009, 22:53 »

Cigarettes.
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Ballard

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Re: Shit that should not exist-- inanimate objects edition
« Reply #122 on: 10 Mar 2009, 23:11 »

I disagree but I respect your opinion.
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edwinalink

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Re: Shit that should not exist-- inanimate objects edition
« Reply #123 on: 11 Mar 2009, 00:30 »

navel peircings....
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Patrick

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Re: Shit that should not exist-- inanimate objects edition
« Reply #124 on: 11 Mar 2009, 05:41 »

I disagree but I respect your opinion.

I actually agree with him. Reason: cigars are so much fucking radder. Also, pipes.
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KickThatBathProf

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tania

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Re: Shit that should not exist-- inanimate objects edition
« Reply #126 on: 11 Mar 2009, 07:52 »

Televisions.

yesterday while watching television, an advertisement came up for a movie and in the corner of that advertisement was another advertisement for mcdonalds. it was one advertisement acting as advertising space for another advertisement. ads within ads. maybe this isn't all that new a thing but it was the first time i had ever seen anything like this and it really creeped the hell out of me.
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Jace

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Re: Shit that should not exist-- inanimate objects edition
« Reply #127 on: 11 Mar 2009, 08:23 »

Yo Dawg, I heard you like ads.
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WriterofAllWrongs

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Re: Shit that should not exist-- inanimate objects edition
« Reply #128 on: 11 Mar 2009, 08:55 »

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SGeier

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Re: Shit that should not exist-- inanimate objects edition
« Reply #129 on: 11 Mar 2009, 10:24 »




I mean, dammit. If there's trees, go there. If you're in/around water, go there. Short of being in the middle of a really busy street, you can pretty much pee anywhere. I hate these things.

Until you spend eight hours in some tiny survey airplane criss-crossing the countryside. No, these things do not have a bathroom any more than the average car has. And contrary to a car you can't just "pull over somewhere"...
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SirJuggles

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Re: Shit that should not exist-- inanimate objects edition
« Reply #130 on: 11 Mar 2009, 10:29 »

Ayn Rand

Yeah but have you looked at the kinds of scholarships you can get for writing essays on that stuff? Holy F. I don't care how bad it is I can't wait till my library gets it back in stock so I can make some MON-AY!
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pwhodges

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Re: Shit that should not exist-- inanimate objects edition
« Reply #131 on: 11 Mar 2009, 11:35 »

I mean, dammit. If there's trees, go there. If you're in/around water, go there. Short of being in the middle of a really busy street, you can pretty much pee anywhere. I hate these things.

They could be useful now that Ryanair is going to charge passengers for the use of the toilet - though I suppose they might cost more...
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KharBevNor

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Re: Shit that should not exist-- inanimate objects edition
« Reply #133 on: 11 Mar 2009, 14:29 »

Until you spend eight hours in some tiny survey airplane criss-crossing the countryside. No, these things do not have a bathroom any more than the average car has. And contrary to a car you can't just "pull over somewhere"...

Go out the cockpit door ya pussy.

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[22:25] Dovey: i don't get sigquoted much
[22:26] Dovey: like, maybe, 4 or 5 times that i know of?
[22:26] Dovey: and at least one of those was a blatant ploy at getting sigquoted

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Re: Shit that should not exist-- inanimate objects edition
« Reply #134 on: 11 Mar 2009, 20:03 »

Some kinds of novelty underwear

Breakfast cereals that are 50% sugar.
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tania

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Re: Shit that should not exist-- inanimate objects edition
« Reply #135 on: 11 Mar 2009, 22:43 »

Sorry I'm late with this reply but the free toy is an itty-bitty plastic pig.

that's what i figured, but deep deep down part of me was clinging to the hope that it might just be a strip of raw bacon.
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raoullefere

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Re: Shit that should not exist-- inanimate objects edition
« Reply #136 on: 12 Mar 2009, 00:28 »

Fecal contamination of drinking water.

Now that's some shit that should not exist.
Actually, it's existed for quite a long time now. Considering world population these days, it may be a miracle that as little fecal contam. exists as does. Believe it or not, I live in the U.S. and know people who have no access to a sewage system... and won't (or can't) pay for a septic tank. After all, there's that handy creek.

Until you spend eight hours in some tiny survey airplane criss-crossing the countryside. No, these things do not have a bathroom any more than the average car has. And contrary to a car you can't just "pull over somewhere"...
I suppose hanging the relevant part of your anatomy out the window is out of the question. It'd make for some interesting stories on the local news.

Sex toy for dogs
Unbelievable. I mean it. This has to be a joke, right?


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Inlander

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Re: Shit that should not exist-- inanimate objects edition
« Reply #137 on: 12 Mar 2009, 00:29 »

Well hey, if it stops the dog from humping your leg . . .
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Ballard

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Re: Shit that should not exist-- inanimate objects edition
« Reply #138 on: 12 Mar 2009, 09:06 »

Given that it's shaped like a dog, not to mention the ridiculous description, it's probably an elaborate joke.

But not as elaborate as ChristWire.
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thecabbler

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Re: Shit that should not exist-- inanimate objects edition
« Reply #139 on: 12 Mar 2009, 09:23 »



the rabbit this thing does like 50 things that i as a man can not...my gf always says she's going to replace me with it...jokingly...i hope
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Re: Shit that should not exist-- inanimate objects edition
« Reply #140 on: 12 Mar 2009, 09:28 »

What are the little balls in the middle for? Does it dispense sweets as well?
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thecabbler

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Re: Shit that should not exist-- inanimate objects edition
« Reply #141 on: 12 Mar 2009, 09:29 »

What are the little balls in the middle for? Does it dispense sweets as well?
it has a day job as a pez dispenser
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tania

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Re: Shit that should not exist-- inanimate objects edition
« Reply #142 on: 12 Mar 2009, 10:10 »

this information may not be up to date, but apparently the sale of sex toys is still illegal in - georgia, alabama, texas, kansas, louisiana, virginia, and colorado.

maybe you and your girlfriend could move to one of those states instead.
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thecabbler

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Re: Shit that should not exist-- inanimate objects edition
« Reply #143 on: 12 Mar 2009, 11:34 »

unfortunately i live in canada so that is not an option...maybe we should move to newfoundland...or iqaluit mayhaps
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JD

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Re: Shit that should not exist-- inanimate objects edition
« Reply #145 on: 12 Mar 2009, 15:15 »

Horse porn.
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Re: Shit that should not exist-- inanimate objects edition
« Reply #146 on: 12 Mar 2009, 16:12 »

this information may not be up to date, but apparently the sale of sex toys is still illegal in - georgia, alabama, texas, kansas, louisiana, virginia, and colorado.

maybe you and your girlfriend could move to one of those states instead.

You can take Virginia off the list.
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Re: Shit that should not exist-- inanimate objects edition
« Reply #147 on: 12 Mar 2009, 16:50 »

the rabbit this thing does like 50 things that i as a man can not...my gf always says she's going to replace me with it...jokingly...i hope

"If I can't make it happen, you can't enjoy it" is a terrible stance to have on anything in the context of a relationship.
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benji

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Re: Shit that should not exist-- inanimate objects edition
« Reply #148 on: 12 Mar 2009, 17:28 »

Just make sure you can do at least 50 things for her that the sex toy can't and you should be fine.
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Re: Shit that should not exist-- inanimate objects edition
« Reply #149 on: 12 Mar 2009, 19:09 »

Fonts below size 5.
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