Topic: Shit that should not exist-- inanimate objects edition (Read 53288 times)

Is it cold in here? · « **Reply #150 on:** 12 Mar 2009, 21:06 »

Waste lakes at hog farms. Now that is some shit that should not exist.

squawk · « **Reply #151 on:** 12 Mar 2009, 22:27 »

You guys have made puns about literal poo that should not exist like seven times

Is it cold in here? · « **Reply #152 on:** 12 Mar 2009, 23:14 »

America Online.

raoullefere · « **Reply #153 on:** 12 Mar 2009, 23:31 »

Horrified by the thought of the Hotdoll, the sex toy for dogs (although lovedoll might be more accurate than sex toy), I ran it down. In a monster truck. Jeph inspires me, betimes. Seriously, though, the Hotdoll does exist, but seems to be merely a prototype mocked up by a French product designer, one Clement Eloy http://www.linkedin.com/pub/3/735/732, and is not for general sale... yet. So, technically, it does exist, but not commercially, and may never. Kind of like the Chevy Volt. My guess is that Eloy has made up a few models for special friends (there seem to be multiple sizes) in return for getting their dogs to pose with it. In other words, what he's really created is dog porn.

And yes, that shouldn't exist, since dogs, so far as I know, tend to have little disposable income.

Hat · « **Reply #154 on:** 12 Mar 2009, 23:34 »

The idea of canine auto-eroticism* pornography bothers me substantially more than the idea of a love doll for dogs in itself.

Why did you even point that out.

*CANINE EROTIC DANCING

thecabbler · « **Reply #155 on:** 13 Mar 2009, 05:54 »

Quote from: onewheelwizzard on 12 Mar 2009, 16:50

Quote from: thecabbler on 12 Mar 2009, 09:23
the rabbit this thing does like 50 things that i as a man can not...my gf always says she's going to replace me with it...jokingly...i hope

"If I can't make it happen, you can't enjoy it" is a terrible stance to have on anything in the context of a relationship.

this is true but i'm pretty sure that i've been "making it happen"...

Quote from: benji on 12 Mar 2009, 17:28

Just make sure you can do at least 50 things for her that the sex toy can't and you should be fine.

i'm pretty sure that she can't cuddle with it afterwards...so that's definitely a win...also it can't bring her vanilla chai lattes when she's sick...yet

WriterofAllWrongs · « **Reply #156 on:** 13 Mar 2009, 09:08 »

Grey's Anatomy.

JD · « **Reply #157 on:** 13 Mar 2009, 11:42 »

Seconded

Patrick · « **Reply #158 on:** 13 Mar 2009, 13:39 »

Parker guitars

Emaline · « **Reply #159 on:** 13 Mar 2009, 16:51 »

Quote from: supersheep on 12 Mar 2009, 09:28

What are the little balls in the middle for? Does it dispense sweets as well?

(Before reading on, one should keep in mind that supersheep's current avatar is Philipe)

Did anyone else read this in Philipe's voice? It made me giggle.

David_Dovey · « **Reply #160 on:** 13 Mar 2009, 20:35 »

Quote from: Hat on 12 Mar 2009, 23:34

*CANINE EROTIC DANCING

Quote from: Hat on 12 Mar 2009, 23:34

*CANINE EROTIC DANCING

Quote from: Hat on 12 Mar 2009, 23:34

*CANINE EROTIC DANCING

Quote from: Hat on 12 Mar 2009, 23:34

*CANINE EROTIC DANCING

BrilliantEraser · « **Reply #161 on:** 13 Mar 2009, 20:41 »

Quote from: Ptommydski on 13 Mar 2009, 20:23

In my mind, Allybee is always Phillipe and Trollstormur is always Liebot.

Nothing to do with avatars, that is just the mental image I have for both of them.

I've never even thought of that before, but now that is what I will do. I think most of my posts should be read like Roast Beef. Because I gots The Depression, that's why.

BrilliantEraser · « **Reply #162 on:** 13 Mar 2009, 21:09 »

But, but... everyone should read Achewood...

And my contribution to this thread:

David_Dovey · « **Reply #163 on:** 13 Mar 2009, 21:39 »

Pics that don't work.

Avec · « **Reply #164 on:** 13 Mar 2009, 22:16 »

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E9_amg-Aos4

Hawaii Chair, yeah.

Ballard · « **Reply #165 on:** 13 Mar 2009, 23:04 »

Quote from: thecabbler on 13 Mar 2009, 05:54

Quote from: benji on 12 Mar 2009, 17:28
Just make sure you can do at least 50 things for her that the sex toy can't and you should be fine.
i'm pretty sure that she can't cuddle with it afterwards...so that's definitely a win...also it can't bring her vanilla chai lattes when she's sick...yet

Sorry man.

Ballard · « **Reply #166 on:** 13 Mar 2009, 23:12 »

Asher Roth - I Love College

I double dog dare you to listen to the whole thing through.

MrBlu · « **Reply #167 on:** 13 Mar 2009, 23:23 »

Asher Roth is not that bad.

This song is, but I can kinda stand him otherwise.

LittleKey · « **Reply #168 on:** 13 Mar 2009, 23:43 »

i actually kind of liked that song. hmm.

grapefruit juice should not exist.

BrilliantEraser · « **Reply #169 on:** 14 Mar 2009, 00:00 »

No, it shouldn't! Especially because I used to love it and now I can't have it. At all. Ever again.

Apparently it interferes with the absorption of certain medicines from your gut.

edwinalink · « **Reply #170 on:** 14 Mar 2009, 00:20 »

Quote from: Ballard on 13 Mar 2009, 23:04

Quote from: thecabbler on 13 Mar 2009, 05:54
Quote from: benji on 12 Mar 2009, 17:28
Just make sure you can do at least 50 things for her that the sex toy can't and you should be fine.
i'm pretty sure that she can't cuddle with it afterwards...so that's definitely a win...also it can't bring her vanilla chai lattes when she's sick...yet

Sorry man.

that was the best peice of sex toy related humor I've seen in 3 days...no, make that a week.

MrBlu · « **Reply #171 on:** 14 Mar 2009, 00:22 »

Grapefruit Juice? No.

Grapefruit Soda? Yes.

Slick · « **Reply #172 on:** 14 Mar 2009, 00:57 »

Quote from: Caspian on 08 Mar 2009, 08:13

Quote from: Shadic on 06 Mar 2009, 17:03
And hell, this in general:
[image]hummer[/image]

I know this car does scream "I am compensating for my small, pinky-finger sized penis" but honestly, these things are pretty much unbeatable off road. Not quite as useless as people think. Of course, it's pointless driving one around the city.

No, actually. Unless it is a proper hummer it is really a mediocre over-weight turd. The hummer in that picture was bright yellow, ergo it is not an unbeatable off-road vehicle.

raoullefere · « **Reply #173 on:** 14 Mar 2009, 01:45 »

Quote from: Hat on 12 Mar 2009, 23:34

The idea of canine auto-eroticism* pornography bothers me substantially more than the idea of a love doll for dogs in itself.

Why did you even point that out.

We must, all of us, confront the evils of this world. Even the disgusting ones. Or perhaps I'm an ineffable bastard. Take your pick.

Quote from: Ballard on 13 Mar 2009, 23:04

Sorry man.

Somehow that may* me feel loads better. Not that I'm in competition with a dildo, of course.

Quote from: Slick on 14 Mar 2009, 00:57

it is really a mediocre over-weight turd.

A succinct definition of far too many SUVs. These are really more like mini-vans with whopping, thirsty engines and jacked-up suspension systems that confer the ability to crush 'shorter' cars in what might otherwise be a fenderbender (no, not a good thing) and do a rollover with the help of a good stiff breeze.

Edit: *made, dammit.

Spluff · « **Reply #174 on:** 14 Mar 2009, 05:56 »

Quote from: Slick on 14 Mar 2009, 00:57

Quote from: Caspian on 08 Mar 2009, 08:13
Quote from: Shadic on 06 Mar 2009, 17:03
And hell, this in general:
[image]hummer[/image]

I know this car does scream "I am compensating for my small, pinky-finger sized penis" but honestly, these things are pretty much unbeatable off road. Not quite as useless as people think. Of course, it's pointless driving one around the city.

No, actually. Unless it is a proper hummer it is really a mediocre over-weight turd. The hummer in that picture was bright yellow, ergo it is not an unbeatable off-road vehicle.

It depends. Obviously the Humvee (military use) is very goodl. The civilian models, branded as the Hummer, vary. The Hummer H1 is a good off road vehicle, and the only one of the civilian models to actually be based upon the humvee. The H2 (which I believe is the one pictured) is awful, and the the H3 isn't bad.

Patrick · « **Reply #175 on:** 14 Mar 2009, 15:22 »

Doesn't do much to defend against IUDs, from what I have come to understand from AFN's (Armed Forces Network) little infomercials regarding their new smaller-size troop transport vehicles.

Is it cold in here? · « **Reply #176 on:** 14 Mar 2009, 16:03 »

Best typo of the month.

Is it cold in here? · « **Reply #177 on:** 14 Mar 2009, 16:07 »

Quote from: squawk on 12 Mar 2009, 22:27

You guys have made puns about literal poo that should not exist like seven times

Join the fun and post your own contribution to the micro-meme! I was going to do skid marks next but I'll let you introduce that one.

Leftovers after colonoscopy prep that interfere with the exam. Now that's some shit that should not exist.

muteKi · « **Reply #178 on:** 14 Mar 2009, 16:33 »

I feel like taking a jab at Jeff Buckley's comic just for the hell of it. Can I do that here?

I'd also like to include Harry Potter slashfics, futanari imageboards, Imagine Babyz (even if it has been already), and dare I say /b/.

BrilliantEraser · « **Reply #179 on:** 14 Mar 2009, 20:12 »

Do you mean Tim Buckley? Jeff Buckley is (was) a singer/songwriter. Best known for his fabulous cover of "Hallelujah."

BrilliantEraser · « **Reply #180 on:** 14 Mar 2009, 21:57 »

Hah, completely forgot about his father. Man, what a tragic family. So much talent, and they both died so young...

Alex C · « **Reply #181 on:** 14 Mar 2009, 22:22 »

Yeah, see, and I had found that whole thing confusing because I had almost thankfully forgotten about the CAD Tim Buckley. I was confused as hell for a moment there.

MrBlu · « **Reply #182 on:** 14 Mar 2009, 22:55 »

Quote from: Ptommydski on 14 Mar 2009, 20:15

Tim Buckley.

edwinalink · « **Reply #183 on:** 15 Mar 2009, 00:07 »

Quote from: Is it cold in here? on 14 Mar 2009, 16:03

Best typo of the month.

do you mean the fact that he said intra-uterine device instead of incindiary explosive device?

ones birth control.

ones a bomb.

and i may have misspelled both.

Iron_Fist · « **Reply #184 on:** 15 Mar 2009, 00:24 »

Quote from: raoullefere on 05 Mar 2009, 22:36

Spluff, what's wrong with the Warlock?

There is nothing wrong with the Warlock, in fact, there is so much right about it. The Warlock has been known to kill and devour less fierce looking guitars for looking at it wrong.

Jace · « **Reply #185 on:** 15 Mar 2009, 00:56 »

There's nothing wrong with the Warlock.
The holocaust was a great event for all races of the world.
Killing children is a perfectly acceptable way to pass time.

All of these statements are false.

Patrick · « **Reply #186 on:** 15 Mar 2009, 01:16 »

Quote from: edwinalink on 15 Mar 2009, 00:07

Quote from: Is it cold in here? on 14 Mar 2009, 16:03
Best typo of the month.

do you mean the fact that he said intra-uterine device instead of incindiary explosive device?

ones birth control.

ones a bomb.

and i may have misspelled both.

Yes I am pretty sure that is what they meant. I am leaving it because it is that awesome.

Ballard · « **Reply #187 on:** 15 Mar 2009, 01:17 »

Quote from: PantsFTW on 15 Mar 2009, 00:56

Two of these statements are false.

FYP.

What the hell do you do to spend your time? Excercise? Engage in productive behavior?

.. queer

Ballard · « **Reply #188 on:** 15 Mar 2009, 01:25 »

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/celebritynews/3369612/Ugg-Boots-become-must-have-fashion-accessory-for-celebrity-men.html

Jace · « **Reply #189 on:** 15 Mar 2009, 02:28 »

Quote from: Ballard on 15 Mar 2009, 01:17

Quote from: PantsFTW on 15 Mar 2009, 00:56
Two of these statements are false.

FYP.

What the hell do you do to spend your time? Excercise? Engage in productive behavior?

.. queer

I sleep and work. This is all I do.

Inlander · « **Reply #190 on:** 15 Mar 2009, 03:37 »

Quote from: Ballard on 15 Mar 2009, 01:25

[link to story about ugg boots]

While we're talking about terrible footwear choices: sneakers with suits or suit-pants.

No, no, a thousand times no. You know how we look back at photos from the 80s, all leg-warmers and shoulder-pads and acid-washed denim jackets, and we say to ourselves "What on earth were they thinking?" Sneakers with suits are this decade's acid-washed denim jackets

Jace · « **Reply #191 on:** 15 Mar 2009, 03:45 »

Harry, are we considering chucks to be sneakers? If so, I think this man might disagree with you:

Spluff · « **Reply #192 on:** 15 Mar 2009, 03:47 »

He still looks silly.

edwinalink · « **Reply #193 on:** 15 Mar 2009, 03:47 »

oh hell yeah!

christopher eccle....eggle... ego....

*COUGH*leston was still better IMO

Inlander · « **Reply #194 on:** 15 Mar 2009, 03:55 »

Quote from: PantsFTW on 15 Mar 2009, 03:45

Harry, are we considering chucks to be sneakers? If so, I think this man might disagree with you:

A THOUSAND TIMES.

Patrick · « **Reply #195 on:** 15 Mar 2009, 06:32 »

Quote from: Ballard on 15 Mar 2009, 01:25

Ugg Boots

Man okay let's face it, the rest of DiCaprio's outfit isn't exactly amazing in and of itself. I bet if it were something like a '30s-era flight suit, things would be different.

I would go onstage wearing a '30s-era flight suit and Uggs.

thecabbler · « **Reply #196 on:** 16 Mar 2009, 06:37 »

Quote from: Ballard on 13 Mar 2009, 23:04

Quote from: thecabbler on 13 Mar 2009, 05:54
Quote from: benji on 12 Mar 2009, 17:28
Just make sure you can do at least 50 things for her that the sex toy can't and you should be fine.
i'm pretty sure that she can't cuddle with it afterwards...so that's definitely a win...also it can't bring her vanilla chai lattes when she's sick...yet

Sorry man.

lol this actually makes me feel a shit of a lot better...

The Joker · « **Reply #197 on:** 16 Mar 2009, 11:24 »

This.

McTaggart · « **Reply #198 on:** 17 Mar 2009, 02:59 »

Yeah cracked.com is pretty awful.

raoullefere · « **Reply #199 on:** 17 Mar 2009, 08:55 »

Quote from: The Joker on 16 Mar 2009, 11:24

This.

Good lord, yes. And every other I-pod accessory that's not a stereo. Maybe even some of those, since, judging by what I see at salvage stores, there are about twenty made for every I-Pod that has ever existed.

THESE FORUMS NOW CLOSED (read only)

Author Topic: Shit that should not exist-- inanimate objects edition (Read 53288 times)

muteKi