Topic: Shit that should not exist-- inanimate objects edition (Read 53100 times)

WriterofAllWrongs · « **Reply #250 on:** 24 Mar 2009, 11:30 »

Kudzu. It ruins what few landscapes we have in the South, and also houses a lot of snakes.

BrilliantEraser · « **Reply #251 on:** 24 Mar 2009, 14:31 »

Kudzu has actually been moving north, too. And quickly.

Patrick · « **Reply #252 on:** 24 Mar 2009, 15:43 »

It's the stupid tourists going into the South, man. They always hear the whole "cut a piece off, throw it, and try to outrun it as it grows" joke and actually try to scientifically prove it wrong. Why the hell can't Mythbusters just do this once so that people stop getting curious?

BrilliantEraser · « **Reply #253 on:** 24 Mar 2009, 16:28 »

I feel bad for the ones who don't make it. All dangling by their ankles from tree branches and such...

Stryc9Fuego · « **Reply #254 on:** 25 Mar 2009, 08:15 »

Mythbusters did try that. The kudzu went straight for Kari Byron and, well, if you've seen any anime you know what happened next.

...Jamie and Adam keep that tape in their private collection.

edwinalink · « **Reply #255 on:** 25 Mar 2009, 20:42 »

coughtentacleporncough

okay.... umm....

hot and spicy McChickens

worse than taco bell i tell ya!

raoullefere · « **Reply #256 on:** 25 Mar 2009, 21:01 »

What I'm supposed to say:

if kudzu can move, it's animated. So it's outside this thread's purview.

What my inner perv wants to say:

Man, I'd totally watch that video. Sound's like it'd beat hell out of watching Byron play in Mentos fizz. Which was phallic enough in its own right.

The detached part of me thinks it far more likely the kudzu would snare Imahara.

*ahem* back to the list: Those tiny paper tags created when people rip pages out of spiral-bound notebooks shouldn't exist. Is the wire really cheaper than glue?

edwinalink · « **Reply #257 on:** 25 Mar 2009, 21:14 »

seems to me metal would be more expensive than glue. but on the topic of school supplies...

those freaking mechanical pencils that wont stop breaking the lead, so that you go "click,click" then write something, then as soon as you pull the pencil away from the paper, a quarter inch of lead falls out. and you have to start the whole process over again...

its why i buy expensive ass drafting pencils. they dont do it.

Inlander · « **Reply #258 on:** 25 Mar 2009, 22:04 »

Emoticons are some seriously tiresome and overused shit that should not exist.

pwhodges · « **Reply #259 on:** 25 Mar 2009, 23:53 »

Patrick · « **Reply #260 on:** 26 Mar 2009, 02:56 »

Quote from: Inlander on 25 Mar 2009, 22:04

Emoticons are some seriously tiresome and overused shit that should not exist.

The exception is the now-defunct t-rex emoticon. That thing was nearly impossible to use improperly.

Eris · « **Reply #261 on:** 26 Mar 2009, 03:10 »

This one?

axerton · « **Reply #262 on:** 26 Mar 2009, 03:16 »

If that's still a T rex for you then you have some awesome cookies or something, cos for everyone else it's just a regular smiley

Eris · « **Reply #263 on:** 26 Mar 2009, 03:17 »

Man, it was a t-rex when I posted it. I previewed it, and it still looked like a t-rex after I posted it and everything, but now it's a normal smiley.

what the hell, forum?

Stryc9Fuego · « **Reply #264 on:** 26 Mar 2009, 05:34 »

I USED TO BE AN AWESOME DINOSAUR!
WHAT THE HELL ASS?
/

BeoPuppy · « **Reply #265 on:** 26 Mar 2009, 05:58 »

Reality TV. Over used, under developed, death to Mary-Ellis Bunim. Whom I blame.

BrilliantEraser · « **Reply #266 on:** 26 Mar 2009, 15:12 »

Quote from: Inlander on 25 Mar 2009, 22:04

Emoticons are some seriously tiresome and overused shit that should not exist.

Seconded.

Is it cold in here? · « **Reply #267 on:** 26 Mar 2009, 22:14 »

Flash ads.

BrilliantEraser · « **Reply #268 on:** 29 Mar 2009, 08:57 »

In that same vein -- ads that have really annoying audio clips that say shit like "Congratulations! You've just won!"

Ceiling Cat · « **Reply #269 on:** 29 Mar 2009, 14:01 »

On the subject of internet ads, those 'ns which obnoxiously appear right in the middle of the page you're viewing or enlarge themselves when you mouse over them

Johnny C · « **Reply #270 on:** 29 Mar 2009, 14:06 »

Quote from: pwhodges on 25 Mar 2009, 23:53

Paul, I want you to know that this was literally perfect.

raoullefere · « **Reply #271 on:** 30 Mar 2009, 01:08 »

Reading this latest batch of posts makes me wonder if the time is right for my "Advertising Agencies: Adams had it about right" Thread in DISCUSS.

But it's so astoundingly obvious that it's probably already been done fifty, sixty times.

Oh, and I'm sure there's an emoticon etiquette FAQ or even a freaking book out there somewhere. Proof positive that someone has even more free time than me, and squanders it worse than I do.

Christophe · « **Reply #272 on:** 30 Mar 2009, 06:42 »

CAT ALLERGIES.

Watching my friends play Left 4 Dead on an LCD screen was pretty rad. Getting red eyes and a cold because of the fucking cat dander wasn't.

raoullefere · « **Reply #273 on:** 30 Mar 2009, 08:04 »

Er, allergies are animate. That is, it's not the cat, but your body's screwed up, overblown reaction to proteins in the cat's saliva, urine, and dander. Stupid damned body. But, yes, it does suck, and I would give much to have allergies made non-existent.

snalin · « **Reply #274 on:** 30 Mar 2009, 11:53 »

That fucking add for T-Pain on Meebo that popps up when you mouse over and ARGH FUCK it's some fucking rapper. Sheez.

MrBlu · « **Reply #275 on:** 30 Mar 2009, 12:10 »

Quote from: Christophe on 30 Mar 2009, 06:42

CAT ALLERGIES.

Watching my friends play Left 4 Dead on an LCD screen was pretty rad. Getting red eyes and a cold because of the fucking cat dander wasn't.

Oh yeah, it's pretty fun playing games on a 36" LCD. Especially if you have a console controller to play your PC games with.

Stryc9Fuego · « **Reply #276 on:** 30 Mar 2009, 17:27 »

Inlander · « **Reply #277 on:** 30 Mar 2009, 17:29 »

But what if you want to do a production of A Midsummer Night's Dream? That mask could be really handy!

Unless you're talking about the creepy, creepy doll underneath it. It stares at me with its dead eyes.

edwinalink · « **Reply #278 on:** 31 Mar 2009, 01:11 »

Quote from: Stryc9Fuego on 30 Mar 2009, 17:27

its like if you combined silence of the lambs with winnie the pooh.

"it puts the lotion on its skin!"

"...........i guess....... there, i did...............thanks for noticin'......."

...

...

for it to really work imagine that last sentance being spoke by eyore!

Stryc9Fuego · « **Reply #279 on:** 02 Apr 2009, 05:25 »

I imagine the first line being said by Tigger.

...now you are, too.

srsly, that damned mask/dummy combo is creepy enough to be nightmare fuel. It's like a RealDoll in a fursuit.

raoullefere · « **Reply #280 on:** 02 Apr 2009, 10:05 »

Oh please, PLEASE don't give the real-doll people ideas.

Alex C · « **Reply #281 on:** 02 Apr 2009, 14:19 »

Gift cards. Unless they've been discounted, they only make sense for the companies that issue them. I know just giving money feels like you haven't put a lot of thought into your gift, but I don't really think converting your money into a less useful form before giving it away really is the answer here, particularly since many cards have fees attached or make it easier for the vendor to rip you off in general. Plus, you know, your uncle might not really get a whole lot of mileage out of a Bath and Body Works card.

Liz · « **Reply #282 on:** 02 Apr 2009, 14:29 »

Hey man, we have two lines of mens' products at Bath and Body Works. Watch yourself. Also, our gift cards have no fees or restrictions. OWNED.

Alex C · « **Reply #283 on:** 02 Apr 2009, 15:53 »

So I can use them at Gamestop?

Liz · « **Reply #284 on:** 02 Apr 2009, 16:38 »

Haw haw haw.

No.

Patrick · « **Reply #285 on:** 02 Apr 2009, 16:49 »

This reminds me, I don't think Bath and Body Works should exist. This may or may not directly relate to the time somebody from there told me that "boys smell" so I should shop there more. Thanks for your sales pitch, fucker.

Liz · « **Reply #286 on:** 02 Apr 2009, 16:50 »

Hey man, I like my job and would like to keep it. Don't knock my employer!

Stryc9Fuego · « **Reply #287 on:** 03 Apr 2009, 05:26 »

I gotta defend here... there are a LOT of people who should shop there more regularly. Oh, God and baby Jesus, there are people who need to shop there... and USE their purchases! Yeah, strawberries and cream isn't exactly a manly smell, but it will get you a lot further dating than feces and foot.

KharBevNor · « **Reply #288 on:** 03 Apr 2009, 05:40 »

I'd rather be lonely than smell like a complete fag.

There, I said it.

(My personal body aroma is blue herbal essence and hand-rolled cigarettes)

Stryc9Fuego · « **Reply #289 on:** 03 Apr 2009, 05:58 »

You consider yourself an authority on the scents of complete fags? For some reason you never struck me as a fag-sniffer there, Khar...

New thing that should not exist: perfume spritzers at the mall. Those people need to stop.

"Would you like to try new Oedipus cologne for men? Great for the thirtysomething who still lives at home!"

Ã¶de · « **Reply #290 on:** 03 Apr 2009, 06:05 »

HEY KHAR YOU HOMOPHOBE.

Sox · « **Reply #291 on:** 03 Apr 2009, 06:07 »

Khar only sleeps with men to hide the fact he is secretly homophobic. It's his deepest shame.

pwhodges · « **Reply #292 on:** 03 Apr 2009, 06:07 »

Quote from: Stryc9Fuego on 03 Apr 2009, 05:58

"Would you like to try new Oedipus cologne for men? Great for the thirtysomething who still lives at home!"

But that so should exist! I even know who to give it to (he's nearly my age, and still lives at home with his mother).

Reed · « **Reply #293 on:** 03 Apr 2009, 10:27 »

Paul, the implications of your statement make me a little uncomfortable.

raoullefere · « **Reply #294 on:** 03 Apr 2009, 10:28 »

Just so long as no one develops Maenad. And no, AXE doesn't really have that effect, except in the commercials. Stupid commercials.

pwhodges · « **Reply #295 on:** 03 Apr 2009, 10:41 »

Don't worry, he's fine, and quite normal - just a bit sad, really.

tania · « **Reply #296 on:** 03 Apr 2009, 10:58 »

sorry, i think i'd pick feces and feet over overwhelming fruity crap too.

Stryc9Fuego · « **Reply #297 on:** 03 Apr 2009, 11:40 »

Obviously, overwhelming anything is bad, but a lot of these soaps and washes and crap just add a hint of that fruit scent, and most of what someone would smell would be you. (i.e. fruity bath soap is no substitute for deodorant).

If you had to choose between a scent like
GUY & strawberry
or
FGUUNYK
which would you prefer?

Alex C · « **Reply #298 on:** 03 Apr 2009, 11:46 »

You're undermining yourself quite a bit here, since I would totally buy a shampoo or bodywash that used what you just typed as a label design. The forum's gray even makes the brown look more like a rich brick red rather than poop brown. Also, I nominated Mothership Connection in our album showdown on the music forums. Besides, I really don't like fruit/vegetable based scents on people, particularly strawberry. Honestly, unless someone utterly fails at the most basic hygiene protocols or wears obnoxious scents, I really couldn't care less.

SirJuggles · « **Reply #299 on:** 03 Apr 2009, 13:28 »

Quote from: raoullefere on 03 Apr 2009, 10:28

Just so long as no one develops Maenad

Having just read the wiki article on that, wouldn't that just be ecstasy?

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Author Topic: Shit that should not exist-- inanimate objects edition (Read 53100 times)