Topic: Out-of-Context Quotes (Read 15682 times)

Reed · « **Reply #50 on:** 28 Jul 2009, 20:35 »

Overheard at the bar at Feng's, a really nice sushi restaraunt in Hartford:

"So then, are you into beastiality, or just gay?"

I have no fucking clue what they were talking about!

Cernunnos · « **Reply #51 on:** 29 Jul 2009, 05:10 »

Quote from: Misconception on 28 Jul 2009, 20:32

"If you had enough money to hire prostitutes AND a Roomba..."
- Oli

It's very expensive.

JD · « **Reply #52 on:** 29 Jul 2009, 08:52 »

If you want to get a good prostitute, that is.

Zingoleb · « **Reply #53 on:** 29 Jul 2009, 13:13 »

No one else should date my mother! Hey! Mom! Incest is the newest thing!

- my roommate on the phone

JD · « **Reply #54 on:** 29 Jul 2009, 17:48 »

Don't you live with your dad?

tania · « **Reply #55 on:** 29 Jul 2009, 17:50 »

Quote from: darryl via msn

right now i'm looking at a picture of adolf hitler giving a blowjob to elvis presley

Liz · « **Reply #56 on:** 29 Jul 2009, 20:40 »

Quote from: Cernunnos on 29 Jul 2009, 05:10

It's very expensive.

<3

scarred · « **Reply #57 on:** 30 Jul 2009, 00:21 »

"Wouldn't it be weird if I was fucking your mom?"

Zingoleb · « **Reply #58 on:** 30 Jul 2009, 00:23 »

Quote from: Zombiedude on 29 Jul 2009, 17:48

Don't you live with your dad?

My father, two roommates, and four people on the other side of the house, yes.

Jace · « **Reply #59 on:** 30 Jul 2009, 00:35 »

Quote from: combo-quote

right now i'm looking at a picture of adolf hitler giving a blowjob to my father, two roommates, and four people on the other side of the house.

Cartilage Head · « **Reply #60 on:** 30 Jul 2009, 00:36 »

Tom · « **Reply #61 on:** 30 Jul 2009, 02:21 »

"I'll check under your sheets later" - a security guard to young Islamic-Australian girl at the UMAT yesterday.

allison · « **Reply #62 on:** 30 Jul 2009, 11:15 »

"You can't say 'fish' and not make me come."

Blue Kitty · « **Reply #63 on:** 30 Jul 2009, 11:28 »

"As far as I'm concerned, Jesus is dead to me"

Jimor · « **Reply #64 on:** 30 Jul 2009, 18:43 »

"Hooker named Lay Person of the Year" -- The Bowie County Citizens Tribune/DeKalb News

JD · « **Reply #65 on:** 30 Jul 2009, 18:57 »

You would die faster from nostalgia than starvation.-- A guy on another forum

allison · « **Reply #66 on:** 30 Jul 2009, 21:19 »

"Like, I can't just tell him I'm afraid of his penis."

I is Grammar · « **Reply #67 on:** 31 Jul 2009, 07:17 »

"Fuck me in the ass; my tits are ready!!"
-My friend Tiny

"So I, like, hate these girls who play all hard to get. I'm like, 'I wanna fuck you,' and they are all like, 'WAIHHHH'"
-Teenage guy on Solomons boardwalk

Drunk redneck A (referring to my power button tattoo): "So if I press it twice, will it turn you off?"
Drunk redneck B: "Why the hell would you want to turn her off?"

I love this thread.

Zingoleb · « **Reply #68 on:** 03 Aug 2009, 18:59 »

WHAT'S A COCK BALLS!?

- small child in the restaurant I was at earlier

loco_banana · « **Reply #69 on:** 04 Aug 2009, 09:56 »

Quote from: Cartilage Head on 19 Jul 2009, 13:03

"Pretend you're a cowboy and lasso my cock with your vagina lips."

That one's just nasty, haha.

Quote

I shoved it in and it burst all over my dress

A girl was talking on the phone about putting something in the trunk of her car yesterday, followed by....

Quote

At least it smells nice!

...and that's when my laughter broke free.

Ozymandias · « **Reply #70 on:** 06 Aug 2009, 16:24 »

Quote

(5:20:36 PM) Darryl: yeah, more discriptive
(5:20:39 PM) tommydski: oh
(5:20:42 PM) Darryl: size, length
(5:20:45 PM) tommydski: smallish
(5:20:50 PM) tommydski: under an inch for sure

JD · « **Reply #71 on:** 06 Aug 2009, 17:54 »

"Only white people get pimples"

Jimor · « **Reply #72 on:** 06 Aug 2009, 21:33 »

"It's so dry in Central Texas that the Baptists are starting to baptize by sprinkling; the Methodists are using wet-wipes; the Presbyterians are giving out rainchecks; and the Catholics are praying for the wine to turn back into water."

nobo · « **Reply #73 on:** 07 Aug 2009, 04:09 »

"whichever one has a little sea horse wang is the male"

jodizzle · « **Reply #74 on:** 08 Aug 2009, 14:52 »

Man I had not looked in this thread before. Turns out there is an awful lot of me in it. Thanks guys, this is why I can't hang out with the internets.

Zingoleb · « **Reply #75 on:** 08 Aug 2009, 17:53 »

I just remembered this because the smell of Ramen cooking made me think of it:

"This place smells like VAGINA!"

- my friend Becky, upon walking into school

Edit: Also, another Becky gem:

"I want to go to Amsterdam and taste the magic brownies!"

allison · « **Reply #76 on:** 08 Aug 2009, 19:35 »

I think people are not sure what "out of context means."

"Well I got it mostly from the front, but I then I took it from behind."

Out of context one might think this was vaguely sexual! In reality, she was talking about photos she took.

tania · « **Reply #77 on:** 08 Aug 2009, 19:50 »

hey mine was kind of out of context because we were actually playing chicken by sending each other increasingly worse images from the rule 34 website. i just like making darryl look like a weird pervert instead.

Aurjay · « **Reply #78 on:** 08 Aug 2009, 19:59 »

"you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!"

"the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more. "

"I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing. "

couple of my favorites from Textsfromlastnight.com

Blue Kitty · « **Reply #79 on:** 09 Aug 2009, 13:08 »

"Okay, I admit, it would be hard to do it with your pants on"

Ã¶de · « **Reply #80 on:** 10 Aug 2009, 10:21 »

"It has to be ice cold. I'm not putting that in my mouth" - Jodie.

Ã¶de · « **Reply #81 on:** 10 Aug 2009, 10:52 »

"I can't hear you, I'm a dinosaur" - Jodie.

Zingoleb · « **Reply #82 on:** 10 Aug 2009, 12:56 »

"Anarcho-sexyism."

Sox · « **Reply #83 on:** 10 Aug 2009, 13:25 »

Quote from: Ozymandias on 06 Aug 2009, 16:24

Quote
(5:20:36 PM) Darryl: yeah, more discriptive
(5:20:39 PM) tommydski: oh
(5:20:42 PM) Darryl: size, length
(5:20:45 PM) tommydski: smallish
(5:20:50 PM) tommydski: under an inch for sure

This one is actually better in context. We were discussion the heart shaped birthmark on Tommy's butt. Jordan taking it out of context turned it into some lame dick joke.

Jace · « **Reply #84 on:** 10 Aug 2009, 18:09 »

Quote from: Sox on 10 Aug 2009, 13:25

Quote from: Ozymandias on 06 Aug 2009, 16:24
Quote
(5:20:36 PM) Darryl: yeah, more discriptive
(5:20:39 PM) tommydski: oh
(5:20:42 PM) Darryl: size, length
(5:20:45 PM) tommydski: smallish
(5:20:50 PM) tommydski: under an inch for sure

This one is actually better in context. We were discussion the beetle on Tommy's butt. Jordan taking it out of context turned it into some lame dick joke.

ledhendrix · « **Reply #85 on:** 11 Aug 2009, 11:54 »

"Did you shove a lemon up it's ass?"

Jace · « **Reply #86 on:** 11 Aug 2009, 19:29 »

Quote

[19:28] Jimmy the Squid: i'm trying to just rub it on his mouth and then he just licks it up

axerton · « **Reply #87 on:** 12 Aug 2009, 02:09 »

me:

Quote

I said our relationship is a Gonzo

Van donk III · « **Reply #88 on:** 12 Aug 2009, 02:46 »

“That’s the trouble with Italian aeroplanes – too much hair on the wings”

Jace · « **Reply #89 on:** 13 Aug 2009, 08:45 »

Quote

[08:43] Jens: ugh
[08:43] Jens: hello again liz

Quote from: me contributing to a conversation about corner stores.

I thought we lived in AMERICA?! If I can't go down to my corner store and buy a gallon of goat's blood, what kind of America am I living in?

Liz · « **Reply #90 on:** 13 Aug 2009, 09:02 »

It's true, Jens truly does hate me.

Silly twat.

TwistedRemedy · « **Reply #91 on:** 13 Aug 2009, 14:41 »

"The next time you go outside you should let me blow on you."

Liz · « **Reply #92 on:** 15 Aug 2009, 00:41 »

"It's difficult by yourself."
- Matt

Kylos · « **Reply #93 on:** 15 Aug 2009, 07:09 »

Gemm: Is it a big one?
Kylos: Not for long.

Lise · « **Reply #94 on:** 01 Sep 2009, 14:26 »

Just try and explain this one, guys:

"In my hands... I am holding 5 lumps of camel dung. This is my finest moment."

Bastardous Bassist · « **Reply #95 on:** 01 Sep 2009, 14:52 »

My favourite out-of-context quote doesn't even make sense in-context:
"Hills are slow!"
-Andrew Maier

which was followed a few days later by:
"Stairs are heavy."

Zingoleb · « **Reply #96 on:** 07 Sep 2009, 23:35 »

Andrew Maier takes several days between comments, apparently.

Also, I think you know a different Andrew Maier than I do. The one I know owns a coffee shop and makes me think of Elton John minus sunglasses.

Zingoleb · « **Reply #97 on:** 09 Sep 2009, 23:49 »

Overheard today:

"I can't wait to go home so I can wipe my ass."

Masterbainter · « **Reply #98 on:** 10 Sep 2009, 00:52 »

girl in class, "are you fisting me!?"

it was during lab. No one was fisting her, especially not me... yet.

Quote from: scarred on 30 Jul 2009, 00:21

"Wouldn't it be weird if I was fucking your mom?"

also, I hear this alot from my dad. except he usually says , "is it weird I AM fucking your mom?"

snalin · « **Reply #99 on:** 10 Sep 2009, 02:51 »

That explains a thing or two, yeah.

THESE FORUMS NOW CLOSED (read only)

Author Topic: Out-of-Context Quotes (Read 15682 times)

Zingoleb

Zingoleb

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Zingoleb

Zingoleb

Zingoleb

Zingoleb