Jeph Jacques's comics discussion forums

  • 27 Nov 2021, 01:01
  • Welcome, Guest
Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  
Pages: [1] 2   Go Down

Author Topic: politically incorrect jokes  (Read 13642 times)

Zingoleb

  • Guest
politically incorrect jokes
« on: 27 Jan 2013, 13:11 »

abraham lincoln was never president
Logged

Zingoleb

  • Guest
Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #1 on: 27 Jan 2013, 13:18 »

winston churchill was actually incredibly underweight, but appeared large because of all the snakes he hid under his coat. when threatened by a political opponent he'd rip his coat off and rain snakes upon them
Logged

Zingoleb

  • Guest
Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #2 on: 27 Jan 2013, 13:22 »

jfk was actually a timelord and has been every single president since
Logged

Pilchard123

  • Older than Moses
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 4,076
  • I always name them Bitey.
Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #3 on: 27 Jan 2013, 13:27 »


I like the second one though.
Logged
Piglet wondered how it was that every conversation with Eeyore seemed to go wrong.

Zingoleb

  • Guest
Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #4 on: 27 Jan 2013, 13:46 »

dr. evil was actually closely patterned after mahatma gandhi's alter ego
Logged

Carl-E

  • Awakened
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 10,356
  • The distilled essence of Mr. James Beam himself.
Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #5 on: 27 Jan 2013, 14:04 »

FDR could walk fine, he was going for the sympathy vote. 
Logged
When people try to speak a gut reaction, they end up talking out their ass.

ackblom12

  • Guest
Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #6 on: 27 Jan 2013, 14:08 »

Why did the politicians cross the road?

To turn themselves in to law enforcement for embezzling of funds and misleading the public.
Logged

Zingoleb

  • Guest
Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #7 on: 27 Jan 2013, 14:15 »

mitt romney actually mailed in his vote for vermin supreme
Logged

jwhouk

  • Awakened
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 11,010
  • The Valley of the Sun
Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #8 on: 27 Jan 2013, 15:04 »

Scott Walker is actually a decent human being who cares for people.
Logged
"Character is what you are in the Dark." - D.L. Moody
There is no joke that can be made online without someone being offended by it.
Life's too short to be ashamed of how you were born.
Just another Joe like 46

Kugai

  • CIA Handler of Miss Melody Powers
  • Awakened
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 11,503
  • Crazy Kiwi Shoujo-Ai Fan
    • My Homepage
Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #9 on: 27 Jan 2013, 15:52 »

The NRA Board is actually a bunch peace loving Hippies.
Logged
James The Kugai 

You can never have too much Coffee.

RedWolf4

  • Duck attack survivor
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,761
  • Stop that.
Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #10 on: 27 Jan 2013, 16:36 »

FOX is a reliable and unbiased source of news presented by a diverse and qualified team of individuals.
Logged
Winner and reigning champion of the award for 'Best Nigh-Constant Look of Disgust and Bewilderment 2018, 2020 and 2020 Endurance Round Part 2'.

jwhouk

  • Awakened
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 11,010
  • The Valley of the Sun
Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #11 on: 27 Jan 2013, 18:19 »

Sarah Palin really is a caring, devoted wife who enjoys occasional caribou hunts.
Logged
"Character is what you are in the Dark." - D.L. Moody
There is no joke that can be made online without someone being offended by it.
Life's too short to be ashamed of how you were born.
Just another Joe like 46

Zingoleb

  • Guest
Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #12 on: 27 Jan 2013, 18:27 »

(can this thread maybe not just turn into sarcastic snipes at politicians you don't like?)
Logged

Zingoleb

  • Guest
Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #13 on: 27 Jan 2013, 19:31 »

FDR could walk fine, he was going for the sympathy vote.

well, up to a point anyway. double irony.

Logged

Sorflakne

  • Duck attack survivor
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,697
Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #14 on: 27 Jan 2013, 19:32 »

Rush Limbaugh doesn't actually believe anything he says, he just sells what sells.
Logged
If you want to see what God and Satan look like, look in the mirror.

Is it cold in here?

  • Administrator
  • Awakened
  • ******
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 24,318
  • He/him/his pronouns
Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #15 on: 27 Jan 2013, 20:34 »

William Howard Taft was famous for swinging naked from chandeliers at state functions.
Logged
Thank you, Dr. Karikó.

henri bemis

  • Psychopath in a hockey mask
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 603
  • Don't F with my glasses
Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #16 on: 27 Jan 2013, 20:39 »

Scott Brown only farts on Tuesdays, and has an impressive collection of Scott Baio vinyls.

(I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to do here, except make up things about politicians.  So that's what I do?)
Logged

Is it cold in here?

  • Administrator
  • Awakened
  • ******
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 24,318
  • He/him/his pronouns
Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #17 on: 28 Jan 2013, 00:40 »

If I've figured out Unicorn's rules for the thread, it has to involve politicians, be incorrect, and be funny. Am I right?

KISS played at George W. Bush's Bar Mitzvah.
Logged
Thank you, Dr. Karikó.

RedWolf4

  • Duck attack survivor
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,761
  • Stop that.
Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #18 on: 28 Jan 2013, 03:56 »

George W. Bush's Bar Mitzvah was just a front to sell City Wok to China.
Logged
Winner and reigning champion of the award for 'Best Nigh-Constant Look of Disgust and Bewilderment 2018, 2020 and 2020 Endurance Round Part 2'.

Cire27

  • Vagina Manifesto
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 677
  • Kill You With Folk
    • last.fm
Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #19 on: 28 Jan 2013, 05:15 »

jfk was actually a timelord and has been every single president since

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K7y2xPucnAo&list=UUurvu3r_s-yq-6f9WRs4TKA&index=14

j-j-j-j-jaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay ef kaaaay
Logged
You don't wanna get mixed up with a guy like me. I'm a loner, Dottie. A rebel.

Carl-E

  • Awakened
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 10,356
  • The distilled essence of Mr. James Beam himself.
Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #20 on: 28 Jan 2013, 05:20 »

Obama had a white-house showing of Lincoln.  He invited several other politicians. 


Not a single republican showed up...



Unfortunately, that one's true. 
Logged
When people try to speak a gut reaction, they end up talking out their ass.

Pilchard123

  • Older than Moses
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 4,076
  • I always name them Bitey.
Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #21 on: 28 Jan 2013, 10:35 »

So is the game here to think of the best incorrect political joke, or is it to work out what the game is?
Logged
Piglet wondered how it was that every conversation with Eeyore seemed to go wrong.

Jace

  • Older than Moses
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 4,455
  • Dealing with it.
Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #22 on: 28 Jan 2013, 10:46 »

After losing to Sub Zero in Mortal Kombat, Baraka changed his name to Barack and attended law school, eventually becoming president of the United States
Logged
Rizzla: Man... I'm only interested in girls who've had penises.
Rizzla: Fuck
Rizzla: I mean girls who have penises.

Zingoleb

  • Guest
Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #23 on: 28 Jan 2013, 12:53 »

After years of trying to raise Atlantis from the ocean, Margaret Thatcher's plans to revive the British Empire once again were thwarted once she realised she was trying to annex Norway.
Logged

Is it cold in here?

  • Administrator
  • Awakened
  • ******
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 24,318
  • He/him/his pronouns
Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #24 on: 28 Jan 2013, 13:48 »

Margaret Thatcher is pursuing a second career as a country western singer.
Logged
Thank you, Dr. Karikó.

jwhouk

  • Awakened
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 11,010
  • The Valley of the Sun
Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #25 on: 28 Jan 2013, 14:30 »

Gerald Ford actually played football - and was pretty good at it, too.
Logged
"Character is what you are in the Dark." - D.L. Moody
There is no joke that can be made online without someone being offended by it.
Life's too short to be ashamed of how you were born.
Just another Joe like 46

Carl-E

  • Awakened
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 10,356
  • The distilled essence of Mr. James Beam himself.
Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #26 on: 28 Jan 2013, 14:47 »

That's neither political nor incorrect. 



Not sure if it's a joke, though...
Logged
When people try to speak a gut reaction, they end up talking out their ass.

jwhouk

  • Awakened
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 11,010
  • The Valley of the Sun
Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #27 on: 28 Jan 2013, 17:14 »

I was wondering if someone would get it. (In reality, he was drafted by an NFL team - which one I don't recall)
Logged
"Character is what you are in the Dark." - D.L. Moody
There is no joke that can be made online without someone being offended by it.
Life's too short to be ashamed of how you were born.
Just another Joe like 46

Patrick

  • where did it cost?
  • Awakened
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 10,392
  • Used to be a cool kid
    • Troubador! bandcamp page
Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #28 on: 28 Jan 2013, 17:18 »

Bill Clinton's penis has not been anywhere that might be considered scandalous in politics
Logged
My long-dead band Troubador! licks your gentlemen's legumes on the cheap

Zingoleb

  • Guest
Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #29 on: 28 Jan 2013, 17:31 »

George Washington had like, thirty goddamn dicks
Logged

jwhouk

  • Awakened
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 11,010
  • The Valley of the Sun
Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #30 on: 28 Jan 2013, 17:50 »

The whole cherry pie thing? George thought it unwarranted.
Logged
"Character is what you are in the Dark." - D.L. Moody
There is no joke that can be made online without someone being offended by it.
Life's too short to be ashamed of how you were born.
Just another Joe like 46

Is it cold in here?

  • Administrator
  • Awakened
  • ******
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 24,318
  • He/him/his pronouns
Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #31 on: 28 Jan 2013, 19:13 »

Martin van Buren was the original Marlboro Man.
Logged
Thank you, Dr. Karikó.

Bluesummers

  • Duck attack survivor
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,806
  • Professional Beep Booper
Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #32 on: 28 Jan 2013, 19:34 »

Theodore Roosevelt was actually an oil tycoon, and his plans to lay waste to the great northwest were thwarted when a photographer sold his "hunting" photos to an environmentalist ad agency.
Logged
Worry Hat, Engage!

Kugai

  • CIA Handler of Miss Melody Powers
  • Awakened
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 11,503
  • Crazy Kiwi Shoujo-Ai Fan
    • My Homepage
Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #33 on: 28 Jan 2013, 21:06 »

Stevie Wonder has perfect 20/20 vision
Logged
James The Kugai 

You can never have too much Coffee.

Is it cold in here?

  • Administrator
  • Awakened
  • ******
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 24,318
  • He/him/his pronouns
Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #34 on: 28 Jan 2013, 22:04 »

Robert E. Lee and Jefferson Davis were accomplished break dancers.
Logged
Thank you, Dr. Karikó.

jwhouk

  • Awakened
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 11,010
  • The Valley of the Sun
Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #35 on: 29 Jan 2013, 04:50 »

Stonewall Jackson was actually the name of a landscaping company based in Marietta, Georgia.
Logged
"Character is what you are in the Dark." - D.L. Moody
There is no joke that can be made online without someone being offended by it.
Life's too short to be ashamed of how you were born.
Just another Joe like 46

Bluesummers

  • Duck attack survivor
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,806
  • Professional Beep Booper
Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #36 on: 29 Jan 2013, 09:31 »

Vladimir Putin is an accomplished Judo and Karate master, and even wrote a book about the sport.
Logged
Worry Hat, Engage!

Redball

  • Born in a Nalgene bottle
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3,243
  • What's disease? Where?
Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #37 on: 29 Jan 2013, 10:10 »

Vladimir Putin is a flatulist.
Logged

LTK

  • Methuselah's mentor
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 5,007
Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #38 on: 29 Jan 2013, 10:23 »

Vladimir Putin invented Poutine on a diplomatic visit to Canada, naming it after a bastardised French spelling of his name.

(Guess where I stole that joke from?)
Logged
Quote from: snalin
I just got the image of a midwife and a woman giving birth swinging towards each other on a trapeze - when they meet, the midwife pulls the baby out. The knife juggler is standing on the floor and cuts the umbilical cord with a a knifethrow.

Is it cold in here?

  • Administrator
  • Awakened
  • ******
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 24,318
  • He/him/his pronouns
Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #39 on: 29 Jan 2013, 11:34 »

Immanuel Kant plagiarized his work from the deep philosophical analyses done by Sarah Palin.
Logged
Thank you, Dr. Karikó.

Pilchard123

  • Older than Moses
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 4,076
  • I always name them Bitey.
Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #40 on: 29 Jan 2013, 11:57 »

You Kant be serious.
Logged
Piglet wondered how it was that every conversation with Eeyore seemed to go wrong.

Blood-Tree

  • Obscure cultural reference
  • **
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 140
  • Must have tree blood!!!
Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #41 on: 29 Jan 2013, 12:32 »

That's not remotely Hum(e)-orous.

Logged

Jace

  • Older than Moses
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 4,455
  • Dealing with it.
Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #42 on: 29 Jan 2013, 12:40 »

Kim Jong Il is actually a rapper.
Logged
Rizzla: Man... I'm only interested in girls who've had penises.
Rizzla: Fuck
Rizzla: I mean girls who have penises.

Redball

  • Born in a Nalgene bottle
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3,243
  • What's disease? Where?
Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #43 on: 29 Jan 2013, 12:41 »

That's not remotely Hum(e)-orous.

Locke the doors! Here we go again.
Logged

Zingoleb

  • Guest
Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #44 on: 29 Jan 2013, 13:10 »

genghis khan made cracking puns a crime to which the only recourse is death and i swear to god i will carry out his legacy
Logged

jwhouk

  • Awakened
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 11,010
  • The Valley of the Sun
Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #45 on: 29 Jan 2013, 13:48 »

Kim Jong Il is actually a rapper.

...named PSY.
Logged
"Character is what you are in the Dark." - D.L. Moody
There is no joke that can be made online without someone being offended by it.
Life's too short to be ashamed of how you were born.
Just another Joe like 46

Blood-Tree

  • Obscure cultural reference
  • **
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 140
  • Must have tree blood!!!
Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #46 on: 29 Jan 2013, 14:21 »

Locke the doors! Here we go again.

Lucky I know A. lockSmith
Logged

jwhouk

  • Awakened
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 11,010
  • The Valley of the Sun
Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #47 on: 29 Jan 2013, 18:09 »

Sir Francis Bacon actually preferred chicken.
Logged
"Character is what you are in the Dark." - D.L. Moody
There is no joke that can be made online without someone being offended by it.
Life's too short to be ashamed of how you were born.
Just another Joe like 46

CrowFairy

  • Scrabble hacker
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,473
  • I've been trained in your Jedi arts by Count Dooku
Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #48 on: 29 Jan 2013, 19:26 »

William McKinley only wanted Hawaii so he could have those drinks in coconuts whenever he wanted.

Teddy Roosevelt made the Panama Canal by himself with his bare hands.

Incidental fact about myself and Teddy Roosevelt:
(click to show/hide)
Logged
Both the hope and destroyer of worlds. Feel lucky?

Formerly LoliButt.

Is it cold in here?

  • Administrator
  • Awakened
  • ******
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 24,318
  • He/him/his pronouns
Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #49 on: 29 Jan 2013, 19:55 »

Newt Gingrich's next two weddings will be Betazoid style.
Logged
Thank you, Dr. Karikó.
Pages: [1] 2   Go Up