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Author Topic: Things People Assume About You  (Read 26695 times)

CrowFairy

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Things People Assume About You
« on: 04 Feb 2013, 17:47 »

Uh, this is pretty straight-forward. Just list and/or discuss things that people assume about you before they've even really gotten to know you. It can be from just the way you look or the first conversation you had with them or whatever.

I'll start. :)

For some reason, quite a few people have assumed I'm a lesbian when they met me. I'm honestly not sure why. One of my friends eventually confessed that's what he thought because I had been talking about how much I like being outside (I guess I didn't mention how conditional that love is :P). And then when I hugged my friends (who happened to be girls), it was almost solidified.... until I also gave him a hug. I'm not sure how that magically makes me not a lesbian (nor am I certain as to how liking the outdoors meant that I was a lesbian), but he hasn't thought it since then. I've never thought that I give off any air of any sort of sexuality toward anyone, so this one confuses me. I don't know how one would determine someone's sexuality without them outright saying it, so maybe that's just me.

People also assume I'm a lot younger than I actually am. At age 17:
(click to show/hide)

And also that I'm flirting with them just because I'm being nice (because I'm friendly with everyone).

Another thing that people assume is that I'm well-adjusted, and I think everyone here knows I'm not. :psyduck:

And people also assume I won't get mad at them or call them out when they're being stupid and/or spiteful.
(click to show/hide)

Something else people tend to assume about me is what I like. For example, I'm still trying to figure out why this one guy in high school (chemistry class) was so certain I liked the Backstreet Boys. All I said was that I knew the words to a Backstreet Boys song that was on "Don't Forget the Lyrics." And he said, "Well, duh, of course you did." I didn't even really listen to any boy bands until I was in high school (and even then, it was--and is--mostly the Beatles), and it certainly wasn't anything I'd felt like divulging to anyone. :? That one's always made me wonder, you know?


So what kinds of things do people assume about you when you meet them?
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de_la_Nae

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Re: Things People Assume About You
« Reply #1 on: 04 Feb 2013, 18:48 »

Well outside of the obvious sir/ma'am issues that I've rambled about elsewhere...

More than a few people sort of assume I like men, sexually, and not women.  Er, hold on, let me look this up...ah here, we go, an androsexual. (a lovely little term a local Kinkster taught me). I think there must be some sort of stereotype playing into this but I'm not really well-equipped to unpackage it and figure it out. I *do* like some men, they can be quite cute and handsome and hunksterrific! But not many.

Also I guess I'm a big, tall lady, in addition to being chunky, and I guess I don't really smile a whole lot? Some people tell me I can be intimidating, especially if you don't know me. Which to me is crazy, partially because I've met me; I'm pretty harmless and (I like to think pleasantly) frivolous most of the time. Though also probably for the reason David Wong mentions in one of his latest essays, "The trouble with us less-than-social types is that we assume we're never the person in power, in any situation." Anyway it's useful for walking through troublesome places and neighborhoods in Bloomington (though it's just freakin' Bloomington, I should probably put quotation marks around that) without getting overtly hassled, not so much for some social interactions.

I'm sure I'll think of more later, but I've gotta run real quick.




dr. nervioso

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Re: Things People Assume About You
« Reply #2 on: 04 Feb 2013, 19:00 »

Wait a minute de_la_nae, you live in Bloomington? Oh my god, we must talk about it! I love that place! Or rather specific areas of that place.


Ummmm assumptions...
People assume I am really intelligent since I am a microbiology major, which I am not really all that smart. I'm pretty clueless in some areas like physics, math, and writing.
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de_la_Nae

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Re: Things People Assume About You
« Reply #3 on: 05 Feb 2013, 01:49 »

Fufufufufu...I told you in the meetup thread we lived near each other, you doink! Just because I saw you mention living in this lovely, awful state another time.

Also I laugh, because as part of my Respiratory Therapy degree I'm in a basic Microbiology class right now. Well, this semester I mean.

Edit: Oh God, tell me you're not Dr. Mosley. I would laugh lovingly for at least half an hour if you were.

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Re: Things People Assume About You
« Reply #4 on: 05 Feb 2013, 04:25 »

I knew you lived in indiana, but I didn't think you'd live in one of my favorite towns there

Also, who is this Mosley person, one of your professors or an evil genius or something else?
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de_la_Nae

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Re: Things People Assume About You
« Reply #5 on: 05 Feb 2013, 04:36 »

Just my instructor. I figured you *probably* weren't, but it was such a sitcom-style thing I had to be sure!

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Re: Things People Assume About You
« Reply #6 on: 05 Feb 2013, 05:43 »

People assume I'm lazy because I'm overweight. I usually tell them I do in fact exercise but I'm still lazy for other reasons.
People also tend to be surprised if it comes up that I'm interested in photography, drawing, writing, film-making, generally anything creative production related. I'm not sure why but once I was told, "You never talk about doing it!"

Not so much any more but on the internet it was almost always assumed I was a male in their mid-20s.

And also that I'm flirting with them just because I'm being nice (because I'm friendly with everyone).

I get this once in a while, almost always immediately followed with people thinking I'm a prude or promiscuous (or sometimes both somehow) because I say I was just being polite.

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Re: Things People Assume About You
« Reply #7 on: 05 Feb 2013, 07:18 »

The only thing I ever really get consistently is "creative". I can't quite argue with that lol




I've always had a lot of fun playing around with my wardrobe and it's amusing to me the assumptions that come with that. Most of them are right, but I think mainly because I was dressing to suit my current mindset.

I used to dress like a Spice Girl gone goth in high school= people just thought I was weird.

Then did the girl in little boy's clothing in college (i was bordering on hipsterland and dating Peter Pan....so it kinda worked). I always got "fun". Which isn't a stretch because in college I went a little.....overboard.

Then I went granny chic. I used to get the whole "prim and proper" thing which was kind of amusing because it was the farthest from the truth. I was a HUGE stoner and partied pretty regularly.

That was followed by 60s influenced flowing hippie clothes. You can guess what was assumed. It was pretty much true.

Then "I am depressed and angry and I hate everything and therefore will only wear jeans and tank tops because I can't be bothered to care about how i look or even do laundry for that matter". I really never paid attention to what people assumed because I couldn't really be bothered to care about that either. That was not a fun time.  :-(


Now, I'm kind of doing a vintage with a twist thing. Cutesy florals and lace with ripped jeans, motorcycle jackets and bizzaro jewelry. I'm consistently getting "unique" and "interesting". I'm ok with that.



Only other thing I notice people assuming about me is that I want to talk to them even if I don't know them. I smile regularly at passerby just because I think it's a nice thing to do if we make eye contact. Most of the time, this is fine. But on a regular basis I'll get people who start up conversations telling me about their whole lives in a span of 15 minutes. In the last 6 months, I had a guy come up to me in the grocery store start complaining about his phone company, another dude who decided that I invited him under my umbrella when it was raining (and told me so), a lady that came up to me in the grocery store to chat about coupons (she was actually fun to talk to) and countless others before them. When I lived in the city, I was on the subway heading out for the night, dressed up fancy and listening to my iPod. An older gentleman using a cane was standing next to my seat, getting ready to leave the train and started slamming his cane on the floor and yelling to me "I know you can hear me!! Why won't you listen?!?!"

Then there was the guy who I noticed jacking off across from me on the subway (I dozed off and woke up to that. tons o fun), the drunk lady that made small talk with me on St. Patrick's day when I was taking the train home to my parents' house, the bus driver that constantly made conversation with me over the course of 3 months and then asked me on a date.......the list goes on. My best friend calls me a weirdo magnet. One good thing did come from being approached constantly by random strangers though.....I met my friend Katie. I believe that I've spoken about her in other threads but it's a long and sad story so if I haven't I'll save it for another day.

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Re: Things People Assume About You
« Reply #8 on: 05 Feb 2013, 08:12 »

People always assume I'm okay.
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Re: Things People Assume About You
« Reply #9 on: 05 Feb 2013, 08:39 »

I went to a Catholic college, and there was a certain group of students there we referred to as the "God Squad" -- the ones who went to church for every single service, and tended to only hang out with similar people. When they met me freshman year, they for some reason wanted to hang out with me, even though I never went to church. Only later did I find out it was because they assumed I was Jewish (I'm guessing because I never went to church, and I tend to use a few Yiddish-like phrases in my speech, a habit I picked up from my also-not-Jewish mom) and they were trying to convert me.  :psyduck: When they found out I was an ordinary heathen they gave up, and most of them never so much as spoke to me again.
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Re: Things People Assume About You
« Reply #10 on: 05 Feb 2013, 08:58 »

people always assume I am happy and have friends... :psyduck:
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Re: Things People Assume About You
« Reply #11 on: 05 Feb 2013, 09:09 »

People sometimes assume I'm a foreign student like my friends, since I mostly hang out with non-Dutch fellow students. I put some effort in speaking English without a Dutch accent, so I don't mind. :-D
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Re: Things People Assume About You
« Reply #12 on: 05 Feb 2013, 09:14 »

People assume I'm some tough person, because of my piercings. The truth is that bugs make me squeal with terror and I hate needles.
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Carl-E

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Re: Things People Assume About You
« Reply #13 on: 05 Feb 2013, 10:39 »

People assume I'm hard working.  Actually, I'm pretty fucking lazy.  And a procrastinator. 


I'd better get some grading done...
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Re: Things People Assume About You
« Reply #14 on: 05 Feb 2013, 11:10 »

People assume I'm clever/smart/intelligent etc. As in above average.

This has actually gone on a long time, since I was in school and in a way it fucked me up for quite a while. A lot of expectation was place on me to do things and achieve things mentally and academically etc. Thereafter when I didn't, I was construed as failing, not applying myself, letting myself down. I was also letting others down by not living up to what I was expected to be capable of. Of course when I heard all of this from parents, teachers, friends and other mentors I naturally believed it. No surprise really, it's what children do. So I tried harder. And failed harder. And the cycle perpetuated.

Of course I kept on believing that I was clever and had a hard time understanding why I was always failing, fucking up and getting nowhere. I got into this nasty pattern of being told I was smart, trying to operate at that level, failing, getting frustrated and depressed that I couldn't seem to be good at anything, self sabotaging.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, it took me a long time to work out that I simply wasn't smart and the reason people think I am is because I'm quick, mentally speaking (physically I'm a lumbering oaf). Trouble is, quick just gets you to the same point a bit faster than most people. Doesn't mean that point is any more right or insightful or enlightened. And then comes that moment when you're wrong, or ignorant or foolish and people trot out that cliche "C'mon, you're smart, you should know this already".

 I'm not bad at spin either, telling people what they want to hear. It doesn't help though, so I try to do that a lot less.

It took me a while longer to get to a point where I was happy with who I am as well.  Probably happier than I've ever been before, certainly more at peace.
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Re: Things People Assume About You
« Reply #15 on: 05 Feb 2013, 13:50 »

I think I know myself too well to guess what they assume about me.

One thing is that I have an annoying habit of deliberately becoming an overbearing, loudmouthed caricature of myself when I meet new people, I guess to test their mettle. This is regardless of whether I've taken drugs at the time, but those certainly didn't help.

I wear a mask all the time, so I think a lot of people think they know me when in reality I could probably count on one hand the people that have actually met me, and increasingly I wonder if my ex was one of them. So I guess many people assume they know me, but don't.

Speaking of my ex, here's an amusing story about people assuming things about me. The first time we slept together, I very visibly pulled her at a party and took her home. The morning after, the girls who hosted the party were asking her about me.

First they assumed I was a virgin (I wasn't). Then they assumed I was shit in bed (I'm not). Then they assumed I was really soft and tender in bed (I wasn't, at least not on that occasion). All three of these things amused the shit out of me.
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Re: Things People Assume About You
« Reply #16 on: 07 Mar 2013, 21:39 »

People seem to believe I am a lot younger then I actually am. This only tends to happen in places that aren't a University, because they set a certain expectation for age. But when I'm at the mall or at my local comic book store I always get these 14 year olds hitting on me it's like oohhh nnnoooooooo. This will come in handy when I'm like 50 and people think I'm 40... Hopefully.
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Patrick

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Re: Things People Assume About You
« Reply #17 on: 07 Mar 2013, 23:32 »

People's assumptions about me are pretty polarized one way or another. Either they think I want to hear what they have to say (rarely ever true), or that I despise all people, and especially them (only half true, in most cases).

People also generally assume that because I have spent a lot of time living in places they'd consider exotic (read: anywhere but the west coast of the continental US), that they have the attention span to hear about it in the kind of detail that I think is worth sharing. The usual response to me saying "You won't really understand even if I do tell you" is denial and assertions to the contrary. And if I do eventually relent and decide to share, literally every single time I tell anybody except my closest friends any kind of detailed information about my life abroad, people's eyes just glaze over after maybe 15 seconds (generous estimate).

Now, following Gaz's lead re: bedroom related stuff, most girls assume I am a lamb. That or not particularly well-endowed. Little do they know until the time comes.  :evil:
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henri bemis

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Re: Things People Assume About You
« Reply #18 on: 07 Mar 2013, 23:56 »

People always think I'm either a sweet, quiet, unassuming pushover, or an angry cunt.  And I guess I am a bit of both - I'm terrible at bluffing, so if I dislike someone, it's impossible for me to hide.  But I also try to see the best in everyone, and confrontation and anger tend to make me cry, so it can be hard to bring out my mean side.

But whether people think I'm sweet or angry, I'm always quiet.  I have literally had people be surprised that I am able to speak  :-\.

« Last Edit: 08 Mar 2013, 00:07 by henri bemis »
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catflea

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Re: Things People Assume About You
« Reply #19 on: 08 Mar 2013, 03:33 »

Old dudes seem to assume I want to sleep with them,  as do 18 year olds... 

No-one in their 30s though (which is my target demographic)
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Carl-E

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Re: Things People Assume About You
« Reply #20 on: 08 Mar 2013, 04:52 »

Old dudes wish that I want to sleep with them... 


After all, hope springs eternal. 
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nekowafer

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Re: Things People Assume About You
« Reply #21 on: 08 Mar 2013, 06:15 »

Someone just this week thought that I was still in high school. I'm 27. That was, literally, 10 years ago.

It's even worse if I wear a backpack or colored jeans or barrettes or something.
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Re: Things People Assume About You
« Reply #22 on: 08 Mar 2013, 07:01 »

When I took my son to school in his teens I was sometimes mistaken for his brother.
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Re: Things People Assume About You
« Reply #23 on: 08 Mar 2013, 07:22 »

And when I used to walk my brother to school when he was still in elementary, people thought I was his father.  :laugh:
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Re: Things People Assume About You
« Reply #24 on: 08 Mar 2013, 12:03 »

There was this stripper (we were in Reeperbahn) who told me I "looked OLDER" when I told her I was 26. She had a pot belly and bad teeth. I may never recover.
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Re: Things People Assume About You
« Reply #25 on: 08 Mar 2013, 13:56 »

Well, it's good to know I'm not the only one...

There was this stripper (we were in Reeperbahn) who told me I "looked OLDER" when I told her I was 26. She had a pot belly and bad teeth. I may never recover.

I'm still recovering from that, that's scary.
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Re: Things People Assume About You
« Reply #26 on: 08 Mar 2013, 14:35 »

People assume I'm not from Wales but I don't have a stereotypical Welsh accent, so it's fairly understandable.

It's often assumed that I'm intelligent too but I think that's mostly just due to the accent (and maybe the job).
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Re: Things People Assume About You
« Reply #27 on: 08 Mar 2013, 15:55 »

People assume I am American. A lot.

Redball

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Re: Things People Assume About You
« Reply #28 on: 08 Mar 2013, 16:32 »

Appearance? Accent? Mannerisms?
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Re: Things People Assume About You
« Reply #29 on: 08 Mar 2013, 19:17 »

And when I used to walk my brother to school when he was still in elementary, people thought I was his father.  :laugh:

Haha, same here, though they assumed I was his mom (I am 15 years older than him, so it's not unreasonable). 

It's worse if it's just me, him, and my dad out together, though, because people assume I'm my dad's wife (he had me when he was pretty young).  It's made for some uncomfortable moments in public  :laugh:.
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Re: Things People Assume About You
« Reply #30 on: 08 Mar 2013, 21:40 »

Many people assume I'm gay.

My wife assumed I was gay when she first met me...the shirt that said "YAOI" in big bright letters probably helped out with that assumption...
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Re: Things People Assume About You
« Reply #31 on: 08 Mar 2013, 21:44 »

everyone at school thought i was gay.

i sure showed them.  :mrgreen:
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Re: Things People Assume About You
« Reply #32 on: 09 Mar 2013, 01:41 »

People assume that I am doing well academically and are surprised (and in some cases, disappointed) when I tell them I barely passed a test.

My mother is the worst in this regard.
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Re: Things People Assume About You
« Reply #33 on: 09 Mar 2013, 12:32 »

everyone at school thought i was gay.

i sure showed them.  :mrgreen:

Moi Aussi  :-P
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Re: Things People Assume About You
« Reply #34 on: 09 Mar 2013, 12:49 »

People assume I'm a little eccentric because of my interests

In some ways they're right, but it surprises them just how ordinary I am most of the time.
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Re: Things People Assume About You
« Reply #35 on: 09 Mar 2013, 14:56 »

Appearance? Accent? Mannerisms?

I don't think I particularly look like I'm from anywhere. I guess pale white skin and light coloured eyes suggest European though? Accent seems to be the reason. I also tend to switch between pronunciations. "Choob" versus "toob" for "tube" example.

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Re: Things People Assume About You
« Reply #36 on: 13 Mar 2013, 17:30 »

People who don't know me seem to misunderstand my humour, which is larger sarcastic and either self-deprecating or about a friend. The self-deprecating part seems too lead people into believing I'm like depressed or have low self-esteem or something? Most people in University take themselves too seriously anyways! (More so, Engineers)
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Re: Things People Assume About You
« Reply #37 on: 13 Mar 2013, 17:59 »

For some reason, many people seem to assume that I'm "smart" and usually something of a stoic. Admittedly, I might have seemed smart up to high school because of my preference to read and look up information I came across, but I have no exceptional affinity for retaining information. And I prefer to listen to a conversation rather than participate, and consider information before reacting rather than react the way people think I should react.
Also, people assume I'm much younger than I really am. It's probably due to my slight build and inability to grow facial hair. When I was 17 and worked for Meijers, my (now ex-)girlfriend's coworkers thought it was odd that she was dating someone "3+" years younger than her, and someone asked me what the minimum age to work there was. More recently, a coworker finally got a clue when he met my "older" brother (Or as I call it, my little "big" brother)
And somehow, I always get the "Ninja" label applied to me. Something about the way I move and how I hate making excessive noise. And possibly a race card.
« Last Edit: 13 Mar 2013, 19:38 by Asterus »
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Papersatan

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Re: Things People Assume About You
« Reply #38 on: 13 Mar 2013, 20:34 »

That I am trying to lose weight or am sympathetic to their struggle to do so.

I just wrote a whole rant about it on Tumblr.

I don't know when weight loss became so ingrained that it was a polite topic of conversation like the weather or the local sports team.  It is disgusting that I am expected to hate myself, and to be prepared to bond over that hatred with other people, particularly women.  I don't want to hear you tell me you "have been so good" as though eating was a sin and restraint from french fries makes you a good person.  I don't want to hear about bathing suits, or dresses, or small successes ("I am down 5 pounds!").  I am no longer keeping my mouth shut when people whine that they are getting fat.  So what. I *am* fat.  What about it?


Related:
That I am unhappy with my body and desperate to hear it praised (see every "but, I love big girls!" pick up line).

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pwhodges

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Re: Things People Assume About You
« Reply #39 on: 14 Mar 2013, 00:45 »

Most people in University take themselves too seriously anyways! (More so, Engineers)

I know what you mean - but it wasn't like that when I studied engineering myself.
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GarandMarine

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Re: Things People Assume About You
« Reply #40 on: 14 Mar 2013, 02:22 »

That I'm older then I am, that I'm crazy, scary, ultra-conservative... christian for some odd reason.
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blanktom

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Re: Things People Assume About You
« Reply #41 on: 14 Mar 2013, 04:30 »

Because I don't really have a natural disposition towards smiling - and I guess my face, when expressionless, kind of looks bored, people tend to assume that I am miserable all the time. I am constantly getting told to cheer up by customers at work, which pisses me off no end. Just because I'm not walking around with a stupid grin on my face doesn't mean I'm not happy. I am actually a deeply contented person, despite suffering from cyclothymia and pretty bad SAD, which I have learned to deal with pretty well now.

Also, as another side effect of this, people kind of assume that I'm boring or have limited interests until they get to know me better. I often find that people assume because I am into one thing (sports for example), I might not be interested in something else (like perhaps literature). The fact is that my tastes are incredibly broad, I like indie rock as much as I like hip hop, and I like watching Glee as much as I like watching documentaries about American history.
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K1dmor

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Re: Things People Assume About You
« Reply #42 on: 14 Mar 2013, 12:19 »

Because I don't really have a natural disposition towards smiling - and I guess my face, when expressionless, kind of looks bored, people tend to assume that I am miserable all the time.

 Well...Your avatar is House's face.
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Thrillho

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Re: Things People Assume About You
« Reply #43 on: 14 Mar 2013, 13:16 »

At least it's not lupus.
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nekowafer

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Re: Things People Assume About You
« Reply #44 on: 14 Mar 2013, 13:33 »

You ASSUME it's not lupus
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what she said was sad, but then, all the rejections she's had, to pretend to be happy could only be idiocy

Thrillho

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Re: Things People Assume About You
« Reply #45 on: 14 Mar 2013, 13:44 »

It's also not bone cancer.
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Patrick

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Re: Things People Assume About You
« Reply #46 on: 14 Mar 2013, 14:00 »

People assume that because I play acoustic guitar and enjoy folk music, I also enjoy Mumford & Sons

I fucking despise Mumford & Sons
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Thrillho

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Re: Things People Assume About You
« Reply #47 on: 14 Mar 2013, 14:14 »

Now to be fair, they have that one pretty good song that they play over and over and over and over and over
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Zingoleb

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Re: Things People Assume About You
« Reply #48 on: 14 Mar 2013, 14:57 »

At least they own up to it.
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sitnspin

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Re: Things People Assume About You
« Reply #49 on: 14 Mar 2013, 15:09 »

People assume I am anorexic. this is particularly annoying hwn they say things like "you should eat more" or, even worse, the ever popular "need a cheeseburger" comment.  First of all, I am a vegetarian so , no. I do not need a cheeseburger, no one needs a cheeseburger even if they would really like one for some reason.  Second, I eat all the time. I have a ridiculously fast metabolism and I basically have to eat constantly. Gaining any weight at all is difficult and has proven problematic at various points in my life due to being "underweight".


People also assume that since I look somewhat "butch" that I must be into sports, cars, home repair, etc.  Truth is, I hate sports and I can't even change my own oil (ok, I might be able to if I tried, but I never have). 
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