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A new job because dancing outside of Union Robotics with a sandwich board is her dream!

1 (2.8%)

A new body because Sven has convinced her that anthropomimicary is the way to go

6 (16.7%)

A new body because she still wants to be a fighter jet (or, at least, a traffic monitoring drone)

1 (2.8%)

Go wild with experimenting on just how close to the full experience she can get with humans

4 (11.1%)

Spend a long time grumbling in front of Momo that she's spoiling her fun

3 (8.3%)

Go to Punchbot and ask for a gig at the Robot Fighting Arena; ANY gig

5 (13.9%)

Sell her soul... or at least her runtime... to the devil... or at least Spookybot to have a wish granted

0 (0%)

The probation hearing is here! What is to be her fate?

13 (36.1%)

Inception (Robo-Jail Version) - Just how much of what she's experienced is real?

2 (5.6%)

Other (please specify in comments)

1 (2.8%)

Total Members Voted: 35

[BenRG]

Okay, I've got a good feeling that we're going to be either following Momo or May's reaction to recent events... or possibly both this week. I flipped a coin and decided to select May.

Personally, I think that May is at a major life-altering decision point here. I don't think that she actually ever thought that intimacy with a human could be so fulfilling and enjoyable. So, it's quite possible that she's going to ask herself whether she still wants to be a fighter-jet (or some other kind of high-performance flying machine) or if she wants to follow Momo's path and seek closer integration with humanity.

Personally, I'm really thinking that May will decide that she has had enough of the limitations of her current chassis. I'm not sure how that's going to work out. I'm pretty sure she's going to seek a more anthropomimetic body but how would she afford it and would the Department of Corrections even allow her to have it? There's quite an adventure ahead of her!

[Mr Intrepid]

For those keeping track.....
#3881 Claire, Mom, Tai, and Dora at the vet's.   Keep strays for about a week.
#4019 Claire's mom is reading a book about Borzois.

So..a week/ 10 days have passed?

[brasca]

While the Devil comparison is not undeserved Spookybot only gets involved in AI affairs if they feel like it.  They are like Q.  Now if Corpse Witch was still in the picture I can totally see her making a deal with May. 

[OldGoat]

Will Sven show up and ask May out again?  After their first hook-up, there's very little that would be too strange.

[Tova]

I'm more interested to know whether Momo will decide to act on her feelings. What May decides and what Momo decides are almost certainly linked. It's hard to consider either in isolation.

Also, I don't think I'll ever really know who originally asked whom out propositioned whom.

Probably we will have May and Momo reconciling, then whatever May and Momo decide to do next will most likely come out of that conversation. Or maybe May will swear it was a one-off before almost immediately going against that (we've seen that kind of thing before with Sven).

[TheEvilDog]

Comic's up.

Poor Crushbot. You accidentally crush one person and irreparably damage their chassis and suddenly you're public enemy number one.

But yeah, seems like this is going to be an AI heavy storyline. Possibly May looking to replace her probation chassis, if she can. And maybe a little for her and/or Roko's respective problems.

[Stoon]

I actually didn't recognize Roko at first.

[Tova]

May is having a bad day.

[SmilingCat]

You know, I wouldn't have expected anything else, but Jesus Christ, May!

[TheEvilDog]

Hang on, now hang on. It's not entirely May's fault and we should give her the benefit of the doubt. I mean I'm entirely sure May can pull another clusterfuck out of this situation.

[obafgkm]

• Roko seems to change size between panels two and three.
• What is the significance of "11 years ago"?  Or is it just hyperbole on the part of May? How much time has passed since Momo developed a crush on Sven?

[SmilingCat]

• What is the significance of "11 years ago"?  Or is it just hyperbole on the part of May? How much time has passed since Momo developed a crush on Sven?
  

Just hyperbole, it was nine years ago.

[de_la_Nae]

"You wouldn't be the first."

[shanejayell]

On one hand, I wanna go 'May, you jerk.'

On the other, Roko literally got by accident what she really wants. So, yeah....

Ironically, Roko doesn't WANT a new body, too.

[SomeCanadianWeirdo]

I wonder if Roko borrowed that shirt from Melon.  It looks more like something she'd wear.

[snufflebottoms]

On one hand, I wanna go 'May, you jerk.'

On the other, Roko literally got by accident what she really wants. So, yeah....

Ironically, Roko doesn't WANT a new body, too.

I mean that's kind of my point though. May is legitimately yelling at Roko for telling May about her new body after May asked Roko why she looked different and Roko told her that she went through a traumatic experience, even worse than how she treated Winslow which in my opinion was pretty shitty in the first place. I'm sure it will be resolved in a few strips so like I'm not legitimately mad or anything. But damn it's like May's entire strategy for dealing with her hardships is treating friendly people with hostility. 

[Oenone]

I mean, she’s traumatized and not the best socialized, so yeah. She’s probably got theoretical tools they’ve talked about in group therapy but hostility is her default. And, based on her lived experience, it’s so far kept her safe...

[SpanielBear]

Hold the damn line a minute there-

- May doesn't know about Rocko's dysmorphia. At all.

- May lost an arm and her face. Got nothing. Had to go to an illegal AI ring who threatened her parole. For medical care.

- Rocko is looking fancy and well put together. Like Momo. Transference is a thing here too.

- May is in a shitty mood and lashing out. She is being rude. She is not the devil made flesh and walking the earth scourging the innocent!

[Tyr]

My first thought: NO, May! that'd basically be going back to robot jail! Your parole officer isn't authorized to fund repairs. Full replacement has got to be completely off the table. Meaning you're going back to runtime on a server.

Second thought: is the only thing keeping May in that body her own stubborn pride, or are her friends not ALLOWED to buy her a new one as a term of her parole, e.g. that body is lo-jacked in lieu of an ankle bracelet?

[brasca]

Hang on, now hang on. It's not entirely May's fault and we should give her the benefit of the doubt. I mean I'm entirely sure May can pull another clusterfuck out of this situation.

Excpet this is the second time this has happened.  May lashed out at Winslow for getting a new chassis and Hannelore set her straight.  You'd think by now she'd wait until she got the whole story, but this is May and she still has poor impulse control.

I knew this was going to happen sooner or later.  Rokko would run into May and she'd get jealous over her new chasis and percevied good luck while being completely insensitive to Rokko's dymorphia.   

Hannelore isn't around to call her on it.  Hopefully, it'll be Bubbles because I'm not sure May could handle a tet-a-tet with Spookybot. 

[SpanielBear]

Hang on, now hang on. It's not entirely May's fault and we should give her the benefit of the doubt. I mean I'm entirely sure May can pull another clusterfuck out of this situation.

Excpet this is the second time this has happened.  May lashed out at Winslow for getting a new chassis and Hannelore set her straight.  You'd think by now she'd wait until she got the whole story, but this is May and she still has poor impulse control.

I knew this was going to happen sooner or later.  Rokko would run into May and she'd get jealous over her new chasis and percevied good luck while being completely insensitive to Rokko's dymorphia.   

Hannelore isn't around to call her on it.  Hopefully, it'll be Bubbles because I'm not sure May could handle a tet-a-tet with Spookybot.

Of course she's insensitive, she doesn't bloody know!

[snufflebottoms]

Hold the damn line a minute there-

- May doesn't know about Rocko's dysmorphia. At all.

- May lost an arm and her face. Got nothing. Had to go to an illegal AI ring who threatened her parole. For medical care.

- Rocko is looking fancy and well put together. Like Momo. Transference is a thing here too.

- May is in a shitty mood and lashing out. She is being rude. She is not the devil made flesh and walking the earth scourging the innocent!

To be fair, I'm saying she's a jerk not the devil

[SmilingCat]

- May is in a shitty mood and lashing out. She is being rude. She is not the devil made flesh and walking the earth scourging the innocent!

Did... did I miss something, because I don't recall anybody saying she was the devil, just that she was being a jerk. Her poor circumstances might explain why she'd acting the way she is, but they don't excuse it.

[Tova]

She’s not being a jerk, either. She’s in a bad place. Just like Momo was in a bad place. She thinks she has lost one of her very few friends. She doesn’t know about the dysmorphia.

At the risk of sounding like a broken record, it’s easy for us to judge from our comfortable, omniscient perspective. I would have thought that this audience would appreciate that, honesty.

I would really like to come here and find compassion instead of judgement one day. I would not share details of my life to some of you in a million years.

[hedgie]

- May is in a shitty mood and lashing out. She is being rude. She is not the devil made flesh and walking the earth scourging the innocent!

To be fair, I'm saying she's a jerk not the devil

She's really not the *anything* made flesh.  Silicon, metal, plastic and derma, maybe.

[brasca]

Hang on, now hang on. It's not entirely May's fault and we should give her the benefit of the doubt. I mean I'm entirely sure May can pull another clusterfuck out of this situation.

Excpet this is the second time this has happened.  May lashed out at Winslow for getting a new chassis and Hannelore set her straight.  You'd think by now she'd wait until she got the whole story, but this is May and she still has poor impulse control.

I knew this was going to happen sooner or later.  Rokko would run into May and she'd get jealous over her new chasis and percevied good luck while being completely insensitive to Rokko's dymorphia.   

Hannelore isn't around to call her on it.  Hopefully, it'll be Bubbles because I'm not sure May could handle a tet-a-tet with Spookybot.

Of course she's insensitive, she doesn't bloody know!

No she doesn't, but automatically May assumes Rokko is there to make her feel bad about her own chassis because she hasn't learned a damn thing since she lashed out at Winslow. 

[SmilingCat]

She’s not being a jerk, either. She’s in a bad place. Just like Momo was in a bad place. She thinks she has lost one of her very few friends. She doesn’t know about the dysmorphia.

Yeah, she is, and it has nothing to do with Roko's dismorphia. Roko is not responsible for May's current state. Roko didn't do or say anything to provoke May's hostile reaction. If you lash out at people simply because they happen to be more fortunate than you, you are being a jerk.

There's a fundamental difference between being compassionate to someone's bad state and excusing their bad behavior.

[BenRG]

Wow! May is taking this hard, isn't she? The cracks about Roko's new borderline-true synthetic human chassis are to be expected. May has been very bitter about the low level of fidelity of her parole chassis from the start and it is in-character for her to frame everything in terms of personal slights as if the entire world were out to get her (or at least demean her). That said, her clear distress about not being allowed to have nice things does touch me. She clearly feels she's been put in the position of having to choose between Momo and Sven, something that I think would horrify Momo if she knew about it.

Meanwhile, I wonder if Roko is aware of how attractive she is to humans? She's probably not in the right place to appreciate it but, as is always the case, this is going to be happening anyway.

'Beep-Boop', huh? I wonder what XBox Live achievement she unlocked?

I wonder if Roko borrowed that shirt from Melon.  It looks more like something she'd wear.

My view is that all of Melon's clothes were purchased by Roko, so her casual aesthetic looks similar or even identical. This was necessary because, whilst Melon observes that most humanoid creatures wear clothes, she doesn't really understand why. She would probably walk around without them if Roko had not insisted that it was somehow a social necessity.

[Mordhaus]

I wish to be reborn as bread after seeing Roko's new look.

[oddtail]

She’s not being a jerk, either. She’s in a bad place. Just like Momo was in a bad place. She thinks she has lost one of her very few friends. She doesn’t know about the dysmorphia.

At the risk of sounding like a broken record, it’s easy for us to judge from our comfortable, omniscient perspective. I would have thought that this audience would appreciate that, honesty.

I would really like to come here and find compassion instead of judgement one day. I would not share details of my life to some of you in a million years.

Yeah, my thoughts on this are pretty similar (except the "would not share details of my life" part. Oversharing things is part of my brand, for good and - mostly - for ill). I do think May *is* being a bit of a jerk, but I am not inclined to blame her that much for it. I actually think she, all things considered, has treated others way worse.

May is reacting in a very unpleasant way and she should, possibly, know better, but from the knowledge she has, that's it. She's in a very bad place mentally and she's being a jerk because of that. She doesn't know about Roko's troubles, and it makes sense that "another AI can afford to frickin' get a whole new body" almost feels like a personal slight. May's body, something which she has had serious problems with, is barely a step above "functional". It's prone to losing random body parts. When one is deprived of something nearly essential, a person getting that thing with apparently no trouble can be a real blow. Even if it's not that other person's fault at all.

If, and only if, May keeps going in the direction she's headed, I'll be willing to absolutely blame her. So far, as far as I'm concerned, she's being a run-of-the-mill jerk and that's all. She's not a telepath.

[traroth]

My first thought: NO, May! that'd basically be going back to robot jail! Your parole officer isn't authorized to fund repairs. Full replacement has got to be completely off the table. Meaning you're going back to runtime on a server.

Second thought: is the only thing keeping May in that body her own stubborn pride, or are her friends not ALLOWED to buy her a new one as a term of her parole, e.g. that body is lo-jacked in lieu of an ankle bracelet?

For as much as I know, nobody offered to buy her a new chassis. So the question seems kind of pointless.

[Tova]

There's a fundamental difference between being compassionate to someone's bad state and excusing their bad behavior.

Of course there is.

I’m doing the first one.

I don’t excuse her bad behaviour, I just don’t think calling her a jerk over it is any better.

[SmilingCat]

I don’t excuse her bad behaviour, I just don’t think calling her a jerk over it is any better.

If I might ask, what's your objection to the word?

[Tova]

What makes you think I object to the word?

[BenRG]

I've just re-read the strip and now, based on panel 4, I'm fretting quite badly that, in her current mood, that May might be contemplating serious self-harm in order to get a better chassis. You see, I doubt that her brain-core is as well-armoured and protected as Roko's.

[cybersmurf]

May has been on an emotional Rollercoaster the past few hours. first, meeting some weirdo clown boy, then getting it on with him. Followed by running out of juice in the apartment of a complete stranger. Then the whiplash about keeping everything quiet, then bragging about it, turning into a serious argument with one of her few friends.
And now, while being in a foul mood even for May, Roko a.k.a. the (ex-) cop comes in "showing off" her new chassis/body, all while may is barely capable of keeping hers running.

To an extent I think May is the "how should I know what I'm thinking without hearing myself say it?" type, and oj the temperamental side in general.
I can see why May reacts this way, although Hanners has told her how that's not OK. She might have reacted differently if she was calm, which she clearly isn't.

[Annemoon]

I feel like we can summarize the discussing with:

1. May is being a Jerk - she is jumping towards the worst conclusion and being aggressive and insensitive.
2. We, the reader, can fully *understand* how the accumulation of her day + the lack of knowledge of Roko's situation (and her life experience so far) could get her into such a mind-space.
Especially since it's hard to empatize with a situation that is hard for you to grasp.
A situation that is related to trauma almost opposite to the trauma you experience yourself.

We can be compassionate about May's situation, and circumstantial events HOWEVER that does not
take away from the fact that point 1 is also true.
Even more so, we KNOW the situation Roko is in, so we even know how *more* hurtful May's words are in a way that May does not have the info to realise.

It's like being the friend in the middle knowing both sides and seeing it explode right in front of you, while you cannot intervene. We can only hope they manage to communicate their struggles in a way that makes sense for the other.

[TheEvilDog]

Hang on, now hang on. It's not entirely May's fault and we should give her the benefit of the doubt. I mean I'm entirely sure May can pull another clusterfuck out of this situation.

Snip

Read the second half of my post and think about it very carefully.

[Tai Fanboi]

Basically the way I'm seeing it, May was happy after the night with Svern.  Then the Momo thing happened, now the Roko new body thing happens.  Basically, for someone in a position like her's?  Well this is why we don't get to have nice things.  Get that moment of happiness and then it seems as if the entire universe conspires to knock you backward 3 steps so you know that you're not allowed to be happy.

She's still upset over the thing with Momo, she doesn't know about Roko's issues with the new body or the circumstances of obtaining it.  She's angry at the world because her moment of happiness has been torn up and lit on fire and is lashing out.  The next strip will be telling part of the circumstances though.  May is changing, so the way I can see it, she's going to double down on the insults and brashness and piss Roko off...

Or...  Hopefully.

She steps back, realizes, apologizes, and her and Roko have a chat about both of their situations and can hopefully help each other a little bit. 

[snufflebottoms]

She's still upset over the thing with Momo, she doesn't know about Roko's issues with the new body or the circumstances of obtaining it. 

Her irritation with Momo is totally valid. But she in fact asks where she can sign up after learning about Roko's situation and just because May doesn't know the fullest extent of how traumatized Roko is doesn't make her response any less terrible. And it wasn't okay even when May thought Roko just decided to buy a new chassis.

[Czarzhan]

I Have A Theory about how this is going to play out. I'm going to insert spoiler tags for what's really going on (in my version) and how it'll play out in the open. So, please, read the open parts first. I can see this going two ways, based on if I'm right on the first hidden bit.
First bit:

(click to show/hide)

Sven actually had some cash saved up that he wasn't doing anything with, and decided to buy a new robot body for May, not thinking about how creepy that might seem (considering some of the stuff he might want to do with/to her in it).

Sven will try to get another "date" with May and either:

• When May says yes, Sven takes her back to his place and explains that he got curious and went to a new store that rented loaner robot bodies for AIs getting their main body serviced/whatever and they just got in a shipment that day, so he rented one for her. They could go out, have fun, have a "proper" date, while her old body stays here and charges up. May thinks this might be a good plan because even if she runs into Momo, she won't be recognised. So they go out, have a great time, go back to Sven's and bang for a while. May is really impressed with the new body's performance, and asks, "So who do I got to fuck to keep this baby?"
  (click to show/hide)

  ...And Sven says, "Me. You're welcome."
  OR
• May will feel guilty about the whole Momo thing and refuse. Then you'll see Sven going back to his place
  (click to show/hide)

  and saying to the inert robot body, "So what am I supposed to do with you?"

[Gyrre]

Apart from the 'geez, May', I have to say that I want a blue version of Roko's shirt.

EDIT: blue and black. See icon for color scheme.

[OldGoat]

This is pretty much what I called the morning after. 

Sven has plenty of income from writing terrible Country & Western songs (and probably other cry-in-your-beer genres) but doesn't visibly throw his money around, so he's likely one of the financially better off cast members (the Ellicott-Chatham family are outliers). 

Most of Jeph's characters are grown-ups most of the time.  Sven and May are the two most emotionally immature, and that would give Jeph as a writer room to make them grow.  Sven gets to question his own motives for upgrading May's chassis, growing up some in the process.  May jumps at the chance for a new body then starts questioning the deeper issues, including Sven's actual motives, and even she will develop some personal insight.

(click to show/hide)

Hmmm...Bartholomew Punchbot, CPA informs Sven that, if he runs it through the non-profit Roko's working for, he can claim May's new chassis as a tax deduction.  When May become aware of this, romantic comedy chaos ensues.

I Have A Theory about how this is going to play out. I'm going to insert spoiler tags for what's really going on (in my version) and how it'll play out in the open. So, please, read the open parts first. I can see this going two ways, based on if I'm right on the first hidden bit.
First bit:

(click to show/hide)

Sven actually had some cash saved up that he wasn't doing anything with, and decided to buy a new robot body for May, not thinking about how creepy that might seem (considering some of the stuff he might want to do with/to her in it).

Sven will try to get another "date" with May and either:

• When May says yes, Sven takes her back to his place and explains that he got curious and went to a new store that rented loaner robot bodies for AIs getting their main body serviced/whatever and they just got in a shipment that day, so he rented one for her. They could go out, have fun, have a "proper" date, while her old body stays here and charges up. May thinks this might be a good plan because even if she runs into Momo, she won't be recognised. So they go out, have a great time, go back to Sven's and bang for a while. May is really impressed with the new body's performance, and asks, "So who do I got to fuck to keep this baby?"
  (click to show/hide)

  ...And Sven says, "Me. You're welcome."
  OR
• May will feel guilty about the whole Momo thing and refuse. Then you'll see Sven going back to his place
  (click to show/hide)

  and saying to the inert robot body, "So what am I supposed to do with you?"

[BenRG]

FWIW, I agree with those who said that May would reject a gift chassis on the grounds of pride and fear of being under obligation to anyone. However, if someone could find some path for her to somehow earn at least or obtain one by her own efforts, I think that she would be overjoyed. Whether ParoleBot will be as happy remains to be seen.

One option that comes to mind is May getting a job running the ticket booth at the Robot Fighting Arena and Jeremy letting her rifle through the spare parts pile as a 'bonus'. Bubbles and Faye can do the installation work and May can start wearing a tee-shirt with a 'Body By Me' slogan on the front.

[Is it cold in here?]

Welcome, new people!

Yes, it's hyperbole.

That was interesting speculation about the future of Sven and May.

One thing that scares me here is that May's tendency to lash out and assume the worst may hurt her in ways that are hard to fix. On prisontalk.com, the fraction of posters who have re-established themselves in society after parole say the only way to succeed is to let go of victim mentality. Nothing easy about that, of course, when someone has been treated as unfairly as the criminal justice system treats people, but if May needs to do that work in order to succeed I want her to succeed.

[SeaWoodStage]

I’ve never liked May (although I’ve tried to), and this is largely why. She’s ridiculously self-centred.

I get that she made a mistake, and has been bearing the consequences since then. I’d go so far as to say that they’re probably unfair consequences, because she seems to have been left to fend for herself with rather basic amenities and no official emotional support.

Since then, however, she’s been offered support, kindness and friendship from several avenues, and has shown a habit of either throwing it back in the face of those who offer, or taking beneficial arrangements for granted.

May seems to have a naturally abrasive personality, which some people do. But she’s got such a massive chip on her shoulder that it’s bigger than anything else about her. I do in fact agree with Momo’s eventual analysis of the Sven situation, and think that May and Sven had every right to hook up with each other. I can also sympathise with May’s initial reaction to Roko’s new chassis, because she’s presumably still feeling raw and defensive after the unresolved situation with Momo.

However, when Roko said this wasn’t something she wanted, and that she had in fact gone through a massively traumatic experience recently, May’s first reaction was to turn it back on herself, and take yet another opportunity to bemoan her own less than perfect situation.

Bad things happen to everyone, and that includes horrible people. I’m not saying that May is without positives, but she seems pretty horrible to me.

[OldGoat]

FWIW, I agree with those who said that May would reject a gift chassis on the grounds of pride and fear of being under obligation to anyone.

I could happen that way, but that will depend entirely on where May is on the introspection spectrum.  With her impulse control issues, pride and fear of obligation are likely to be afterthoughts. 

"A fully functional anatomically correct body!  You'd better have your pants off by the time I'm done booting up, Clownboy!"  To be followed later by, "Am I obliged to work it off by boning him whenever he wants?"

Or it may happen earlier and Jeph may use it as an indicator that she's turned that particular corner.

At any rate, as much of an asshole has Sven's been most of his life, he deserves to be in love with a prickly, sarcastic robosexpot as pennance.

[SeaWoodStage]

Welcome, new people!

(snipped)

One thing that scares me here is that May's tendency to lash out and assume the worst may hurt her in ways that are hard to fix. On prisontalk.com, the fraction of posters who have re-established themselves in society after parole say the only way to succeed is to let go of victim mentality. Nothing easy about that, of course, when someone has been treated as unfairly as the criminal justice system treats people, but if May needs to do that work in order to succeed I want her to succeed.

My brother was in and out of prison from his teens to his late twenties, and he'd agree with that. (He now has a job that comes with a home, and is okay.) He does tend to lash out at those closest to him, which is something he certainly shares with May. He also tends to take advantage of people, something that May also does, I think. Where he differs from May, though, is that he's lost that chip on his shoulder. He owns his mistakes, and has moved on as best he can with the consequences of those mistakes. He's built a life for himself from grit, personality and talent, and has also made some effort to repair the close relationships he had with family and friends.

As an aside, nobody in our immediate family judges my brother anymore for the crimes which imprisoned him years ago (none of which were violent). The relationships he damaged were due to him being a selfish, arrogant, thoughtless jerk. (That was a trait that was sometimes evident in his crimes.)

[Is it cold in here?]

So if May and Sven start a regular relationship, and if Sven buys her a new body, is that a friend being generous to a friend or is it sex work? How will May see it?

[SmilingCat]

What makes you think I object to the word?

It's the only thing I can think of that would explain why you wouldn't use it in this case.

If you don't think I understand what May would be going through, well...

I've been fighting against depression since I was a kid, most of the time it manifested as me angrily lashing out at people around me for very sketchy reasons (never violently, May's behavior is pretty typical for how I would behave). This cost me at least three jobs, poisoned my relationships, it made me an ugly person. It took years of therapy and medication (still on the medication, probably will be for the rest of my life) to even get close to what might be called an even keel, and it's still a struggle from day to day.

And just as I'm finally getting to a place emotionally where I can start putting my life back together... my body starts giving out. I'm physically disabled. I haven't been able to work in six years. I lost a kidney four years ago (which put further strain on my weak heart and nervous system). If I could afford to live alone financially, I'm still dependent on other people for help. None of this will ever get better for me. My heart is not going to fix itself. My nervous system isn't going to start doing its job properly, my kidney isn't coming back (but he had to go get cancer, so fuck that guy, am I right?). And I certainly can't go undo the things I screwed up in my past that would have allowed me to ride out my disability in the present.

But May is being a jerk, and I know that, because I managed to become an expert on being a jerk, because of all those years I spent being a jerk, and those times when I continue to be a jerk. Because emotional health is a process, it's not binary, and part of getting better is acknowledging when you're failing at it and need to do better.