Fun Stuff > CHATTER
THE REALLY BAD JOKES THREAD
AlexAttack:
--- Quote from: tragic_pizza on 17 Jul 2007, 05:41 ---Duck walks into a convenience store, asks the guy behind the counter, "You got any grapes?" The guy says, "no," and the duck walks out.
Five minutes later, the duck walks back into the convenience store, asks the guy behind the counter, "You got any grapes?" The guy says, "Uh, NO!" and the duck walks out.
Five minutes later, the duck walks back into the convenience store, asks the guy behind the counter, "You got any grapes?" The guy says, "I SAID NO, and if you come back in here again and ask me about grapes I am gonna NAIL YOUR WEBBED FEET TO THE FLOOR!!!" and the duck walks out.
Five minutes later, the duck walks back into the convenience store, asks the guy behind the counter, "You got any nails?" The guy says, "NO!" and the duck asks, "You got any grapes?."
/end joke
--- End quote ---
I've heard this one before but instead of a duck going into a convenience store it was a guy going into a bar asking the barman for heroin and the barman said he'd nail the guy's head to the counter.
Also...
How do you stop a baby crawling around in circles?
Nail its other hand to the floor! BOOM BOOM! (at least it wasn't a dead baby joke)
SeanBateman:
What's the difference between a Jew and a Pizza?
A Pizza hasn't been subjected to years of cruel humour about a tragedy that some people to this day still deny.
ElRodente:
I didn't see this yet...
A man is lost in the desert, stumbling through, thirsty as hell... when he comes across 3 market stalls, in the middle of the desert.
He goes to the first and says "please, have you got any water? i've been lost for hours!" and the vendor says "sorry, all i have is vanilla sponge"
So the lost man shrugs, and moves onto the next stall, a bit more desperate, and asks "please... have you got any water? i am literally dying of thirst here" to which the second vendor replies "sorry, all I sell is Jelly (jello)" The lost man starts to go a bit mad at this...
but he crawls over to the third and final stall, and begs of the vendor "PLEASE... PLEASE... please, you MUST have some water" and the vendor says "i'm so sorry, but all i have is whipped cream". The lost man cracks. "WHAT? WHAT? WHAAAAAT?!" he screams, "HOW CAN THERE BE 3 STALLS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING DESERT AND NOT ONE OF YOU HAS ANY WATER... JUST SPONGE, JELLY, AND CREAM!?"
to which the vendor replies...
"yes, it is a trifle bazaar"
looooong
Joseph:
--- Quote from: melmenetkwe on 02 Sep 2007, 20:10 ---Q: What's fuzzy and pink?
A: Pink fuzz!!
Lamest joke ever eh?
--- End quote ---
You left off the best part:
Q: What's blue and fuzzy?
A: Pink fuzz holding its breath.
I usually say fluff(y) instead of fuzz(y) though.
NothingIncorporated:
What do you get if you dip hay in holy water?
Christian Bale
...o_O yes.
Every man in the world goes into a bar, one of them shouts "I'll get this round" ... what an idiot
What do you get if you drop a piano down a mine "A flat minor"
What do you get if you drop a piano onto a barracks "A flat major"
I like to trick people with
Me: "I've just learnt the best knock knock joke ever, want to hear it?"
someone: "Okay then"
Me: "Okay, you start"
Someone: "knock knock"
Me: "who's there?"
You can get different reactions from that, the best is with daft people who just don't know what to do..they tend to catch fire...hehehehe
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