Fun Stuff > CHATTER
THE REALLY BAD JOKES THREAD
Orbert:
Bob's car breaks down one night in the middle of nowhere, his cell phone is dead, so he has no choice but to walk to the nearest town. It starts to rain, then gets really cold and nasty, so against his better judgement, he sticks his thumb out, figuring it's worth the risk.
A car appears over the hill and eventually pulls up to him. Without thinking much about it, Bob jumps in and the car slowly begins to move forward. Bob starts to say "Thanks" and looks over and no one is driving the car!
The car continues to move slowly, and Bob tries hard not to freak out. He is, after all, out of the cold and rain, and on his way to the next town. A curve in the road comes up, and Bob thinks "Okay, now what?" Just then, a pale hand appears out of the darkness, reaches through the driver's-side window, and turns the wheel. Each time a curve in the road comes up, that same hand reaches in and turns the wheel.
Eventually the lights of the town ahead appear, and Bob jumps out of the car and makes a run for it. He finds a bar where he hopes he can use the phone. But first he needs a drink. He has two, and soon the bartender and most of the regulars are listening his story. He's cold and wet and doesn't seem to be making it up.
Then two guys come into the bar, also cold and wet. One of them sees Bob and says to the other "Hey, isn't that the idiot who got into the car for a while when we was pushing it?"
0bsessions:
What has nine arms and sucks?
Def Leppard.
Stryc9Fuego:
Where do one-legged people work?
IHOP
What do you call a cow with one leg missing?
Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a girl with one leg shorter than the other?
Eileen.
muteKi:
Two old men are sitting in a retirement home chatting.
"I'm full of aches and pains today Alf. How do you feel?".
"Like a newborn baby Fred", Alf replies.
"Really, a newborn baby?" says Fred, to which Alf replies:
"Yeah, no hair, no teeth and I've just shat myself".
Jimmy the Squid:
Two naked philosophers were sitting outside their university building discussing, well philosophy I suppose. They talked about Kant and Descartes and all manner of philosophy type things. After a lull in the conversation one turned to the other and said
"Have you read Marx?" to which the other philosopher replied
"Yeah, these cane chairs are murder!"
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