Fun Stuff > CHATTER
THE REALLY BAD JOKES THREAD
2.0:
german humor... my dad loves this one.
Jürgen! Have you changed the water of the fishtank?
- No, he hasn't finished drinking it yet.
Jedit:
--- Quote from: supersheep on 23 Aug 2007, 09:21 ---I met a girl once by telling her dead baby jokes. We went out for a year.
--- End quote ---
... and then she gave birth.
A couple of old favourites.
Why did Stevie Wonder fail his driving test?
Because he's black.
What's the difference between a rent boy and a microwave oven?
You can't brown your meat in a microwave.
Why is it better to be black than gay?
You don't have to tell your parents you're black.
What's the difference between bagpipes and onions?
Nobody cries when you chop up bagpipes.
What's the definition of perfect pitch?
When you throw a bagpiper off a cliff and he lands on the accordionist.
What do you call someone who hangs around famous musicians hoping to get laid?
The drummer.
Why don't Catholics eat mashed potatoes?
It's abortion of fries.
0bsessions:
I heard the Stevie Wonder one differently as "Why couldn't Stevie Wonder read." Conversely, I also heard similarly "Why couldn't Helen Keller drive?" 'Cause she's a woman.
Orbert:
You're lost in the desert and run into Santa Claus, an out-of-tune bagpiper, and an in-tune bagpiper, who each tell you to go a different direction. Which one do you listen to?
Answer: The out-of-tune bagpiper. The others are obviously hallucinations.
Jimmy the Squid:
Picture a monkey. Pretty easy isn't it?
Now picture 10 monkeys. Still pretty easy, right?
Now picture 50 monkeys. Is it getting more difficult? Probably not.
Now picture 100 monkeys. You can probably do it.
Now picture 1000 monkeys. It's probably getting harder now.
Now picture 1,000,000 monkeys.
Isn't that a fuckload of monkeys?
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