Fun Stuff > CHATTER
Weirdest Ending of A Relationship?
Masterbainter:
--- Quote ---I think a few pages back you said something like "people remember the bad stuff in relationships, I mean that's how you learn, right?" and this was really what I was trying to get at. Remembering the bad stuff is NOT a good way to learn because the stuff you remember IS what you learn, and that's the kind of stuff you DON'T want to learn.
--- End quote ---
you are correct, you do not want to learn bad stuff. You do however, want to learn from it.
I was pretty broad with my statement so I understand the confusion.
--- Quote --- If it sounds like I'm saying "forget about the bad things that happen because they don't matter," or "if you forget about bad stuff it won't happen again," that's not what I mean at all ... what I'm trying to say is that if you EXPECT bad things because they've happened in the past, they're more likely to happen in the future, since your expectations guide your actions and therefore end up manifesting themselves.
--- End quote ---
You would be correct, you should never enter a relationship expecting the worse outcome. However, it never hurts to keep your eyes open to what is happening in front of you with your life and relationships.
I am not one to sit there blindly, anymore. I was once in the position of total trust without the other person proving the they were trustworthy. Trust is not granted, it is earned.
onewheelwizzard:
Nah, I'm pretty sure it's granted, at least it is when I trust people (I don't need people to earn something that actually helps me when I give it for free), but we can agree to disagree there.
Ozymandias:
Yeah, trust is granted, sorry. If you go around expecting everyone to be untrustworthy and they have to earn your trust, they just won't care about your trust and will simply tell you to fuck off.
Masterbainter:
edit: i retract my statement
tania:
trust isn't always a black-and-white thing, either. even when it comes to my closest friends, i don't always believe everything they say and vice versa, but sometimes that's okay if you're both aware of that and of what each person's trust needs are. i'm not sure it's possible (for me, anyway) to trust someone on absolutely everything, 100% of the time, but i wouldn't really need to. if i could trust them on enough things to satisfy my level of comfort with the relationship, that'd be enough for me.
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