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Weirdest Ending of A Relationship?
Spike:
--- Quote from: Scandanavian War Machine on 19 Nov 2008, 11:14 ---i was once broken up with before we had even admitted to being interested in each other.
--- End quote ---
This kind of happened to me, I admitted that I had a thing for this girl and shot down. No big deal really, then about a month later out of nowhere we have this conversation:
Her:"Remember when you asked me out?"
Me:"Yeah"
Her:"I really did want to but ...."
Me:"Oh, want to give it a try now?"
Her:"No, that was then."
Me:"Ok."
Me (Internally): "WTF."
Christophe:
My breakup story really only involves my only ex-girlfriend.
In late 2005, my senior year of High School, this girl messages me on Myspace (who was apparently a friend of a friend) saying that I was adorable and cute, etc. She was blonde, wore glasses, looked kinda nerdy, was an alcoholic at the age of 16, a vegetarian and card-carrying PETA member, and had arguably the worst possible taste in music (Hawthorne Heights et al). However, she lived across town and at that point, I had utterly failed to hook up with any lady at that point. Now around that point I did not have the realization that I didn't have to date her or even talk to her, something I should have realized when the friend she knew me from told me that the girl was nothing if not bad news bears. However, being the desperate schmuck I was, I messaged her back and became friends with her.
Later that week, I get suspended from school for fighting with a friend during class and I get stuck home feeling like crap. So naturally the relationship blossoms from there. At some point we meet back at my school to see a play, and the week afterwards we declare ourselves as officially going out. Before I see her again, we're talking on the phone at which point during the hour mark of the conversation I tell her I love her.
Stupid, stupid Christopher.
In any case, she says she loves me back and we see each other again at her school for a play yada yada. That weekend she texts me, telling me "we need to talk", and we talk, and she says that we rushed into it way too fast. Cue me writing really really pathetic LJ entries.
Eventually, we meet up at her house a week later, watch Say Anything, and end up kissing each other. That night she goes to a party, gets super-mega-ultra drunk and drunk-dials me, telling me how much she loves me and wants to fuck me, etc. Needless to say a few days later we're back on.
Things go semi-well for the next two months or so, though we have patches of meh that are the usual dealings in any relationship. However, in about two months she says we should go on a break because she doesn't feel happy with me or whatever. News to me. So about a few days afterwards we're back on.
Then a few more weeks pass, and she calls me during my mom's birthday party, to which I tell her I'm busy. She calls back later that night, and tells me she wants to break up with me. I accept it and instead of feeling crappy, I felt several different kinds of relieved. The rest of that week I was coming up roses, she was feeling crappy for some odd reason, since she was the one who dumped me in the first place.
But stupid me can't let it end there; instead we linger in some shitty friends-with-benefits relationship that ultimately goes nowhere. The final straw came when I asked her out to the Senior Ball, she tells me she's going to a gay bar with her best friend and her brother for his birthday. I never talked to her again after that.
I saw pictures of her since I last saw her and she got chubby. Gee, I may be one to say "post hoc, propter ergo hoc" but you know...
Thankfully I'm dating a girl who is awesome now (for about two years and a month at this point in time), so if I never see my bitchy ex again it won't be soon enough.
onewheelwizzard:
The weirdest breakup that ever happened to me actually happened a year before I found out about it.
"What's up with that?" I hear you cry. Well, basically we'd been really, really heavily into each other ("in love" for sure) for a year after 4-5 months of getting to be close friends, so we were very very strongly bonded, and she revealed to me that she was starting to feel really terribly uncomfortable with he body and her sexuality, for reasons that had nothing to do with me, and that while she loved me and wanted to be my companion, she was no longer interested in having any sort of sexual relationship with anyone.
This kicked off a year of me becoming more and more concerned with the prospect of not reinvigorating our sexual relationship, expressing those concerns to her in an extremely short-sighted and presumptive way (basically assuming that it would happen, and not even really considering the idea that she might not be into me anymore, let alone making any attempts to come to terms with that possibility). It was "That's OK, you should have your space" and then it was "How's the progress with your relationship with your sexuality going?" and then it was "Hey, um, I really want you to be OK with yourself, are you sure I can't help?" and then it was "This is starting to really grate on me, I can't help you bring our relationship back to what it was, I don't know what to do" and then, finally, after about a year of things getting worse and worse, I stayed up all night one night retelling the whole story to myself, realizing the amount of pressure I'd been putting on her and the incredibly arrogant way I was treating the relationship, and I apologized to her for everything, and also got her to finally admit that she actually wasn't into me at all anymore (something that had developed over that year and that she'd been holding back for fear of causing me real pain).
I was a huge dick for a year, she was totally uncommunicative and refused to actually process her desire to break up with me, the fault for the whole thing was shared. But I learned a LOT from it.
PS: I think I understand where Tommy's coming from, and I don't think that a word as heavily loaded with negative connotations as "selfish" is appropriate. It sounds totally considerate, in a twisted sort of way ... if you fully understand that everyone's ultimately only responsible for their own development and their own lifestyle and actions, then refusing to change the way you act to accommodate the lives of others is ultimately just the intuitively most helpful thing to do for them ... assuming people learn from their mistakes, and if they don't that's nobody's fault but their own. Being affectionate and generous then becomes something that you do because you like to, not because you think it's "the right thing to do" for the sake of acting ethically towards others. In this regard it's totally possible to be extremely "selfish" and extremely generous at the same time ... if being generous is something that you feel is helpful to yourself in a way that matters more than the possessions or energy you give to others, then it's totally compatible with selfishness, or at least, the brand of selfishness that I think Tommy's talking about. Basically I don't think "selfishness" is a good word for it because it has too many negative connotations.
est:
I think that there is a difference between neglecting someone because you are selfish or don't care about them and the idea of with-holding aid from someone because you care about them and wish for them to learn from the experience and advance themselves. The former is a negative, the latter seems harsh at times but is altruistic at heart.
To attempt to stop my own derail, here's another one from me, kind of. I went out with a girl in High School and didn't know what I was supposed to do with her because I was ridiculously naive about girls. The relationship ended when her family moved up to Queensland, and in her farewell card I wrote something like "Goodbye <name>, I hope you find a better boyfriend than I was." I meant well.
Jimmy the Squid:
I can't be bothered to write it out, so here is something that was prepared way in advance and is only coincidently appropriate.
Then there was the time my girlfriend in highschool cheated on me with some dude that her friend used to go out with so that he'd give her a ride into the city. She told me this after being horrible to me for two months because I wasn't spending any time with her (this was because I was studying for and taking my end of highschool exams). Anyway I of course broke up with her and she proceeded to call me an average of 28 times a day for two weeks (from various numbers) to cry and beg me to take her back. Last I heard she was telling everyone at my old highschool (I was two years above her) that she broke up with me because I got violent or something. Now sometimes I get dirty looks from people whose names I don't know but whose faces are vaguely familiar. It's a bit weird.
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