Fun Stuff > CHATTER
Eye contact
Carl-E:
My attention wanders. I'll make eye contact, but I'll also look away to whatever I'm doing while talking, and sometimes start doing something (so I can look away? I dunno). My gaze wanders, though. Off the eyes, onto other parts of the body I'm talking with. And some people (because of the insane glasses I wear) can't tell if I'm making eye contact or not.
Pilchard123:
--- Quote from: Is it cold in here? on 06 Sep 2012, 20:34 ---Cats don't always understand it when a human does it, but an important phrase in their body language is to interrupt their gaze with a long slow blink. It means "I am not putting a target lock on you". Sometimes I blink back, and the cat blinks again, and we get a game going.
--- End quote ---
I do that with my cats and other animals too. If I'm watching a hedgehog in the garden that knows I'm around, I'll do things that obviously break my concentration, so that it can see I'm not stalking it. I bet I look a right plonker to anyone else watching.
Abyssalin:
Eye contact is a big deal, it signifies everything already pointed out on this thread and more, it is the first thing people use to find out things, simply from how engaging you are to how your mood is, that said, i find it awkward.
As a person who regularly does presentations for things in college classes, i find it EXTREMELY unnerving when people in the audience try and hold your eye contact, for whatever reason they have, it instantly makes me feel flustered and clumsy, I'm a person who will avoid extended eye contact and instead use my body language to accentuate whatever it is the person needs to know, you could i'm one of those people who use hand motions when speaking, simply to help get my point across in exchange of eye contact,
That said, my main reason for avoiding eye contact is again what Neko and others have said, Giving the idea that you like someone, I have noticed that when around someone i am interested in i get the most basic phase of eye dilation in relation to arousal/stimulation, mostly due to the extra surge of emotions of being around someone i am interested in, and i do my best to avoid eye contact as it is incredibly easy to notice when my eyes are like this due to the lenses of my glasses making my eyes appear bigger.
TL:DR, Eye contact is a tricky system, I avoid it like many of yourselves for a myriad of reasons from belying feelings to plain silly things like thinking my eyes are unnatractive because of their color.
Akima:
Eye contact is heavily subject to cultural conditioning, and varies a lot in different countries. As a little girl, I was taught *not* to maintain eye contact, especially with people of perceived higher social status, and part of adjusting to Australian culture involved learning the different standards that apply here. The idea that someone *must* maintain eye-contact in any one particular way, or is demonstrating some definite thing if they do not, is as chauvinistic as demanding that they all speak English.
Abyssalin:
--- Quote from: Akima on 07 Sep 2012, 02:38 ---Eye contact is heavily subject to cultural conditioning, and varies a lot in different countries. As a little girl, I was taught *not* to maintain eye contact, especially with people of perceived higher social status, and part of adjusting to Australian culture involved learning the different standards that apply here. The idea that someone *must* maintain eye-contact in any one particular way, or is demonstrating some definite thing if they do not, is as chauvinistic as demanding that they all speak English.
--- End quote ---
I realize what you are saying is very truthful, but as you know different cultures invoke different standards, In most of the UK, it is considered rude to speak to someone while not at least initiating eye contact a few times, even if it is brief, it's perceived that making eye contact is a sign of respect to the person you are speaking with and is supposed to make them feel that you are engaging with them within a conversation, and also as a sign of confidence.
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