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Eye contact

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Redball:
For 15-20 years, I've gotten smiles from pretty young girls I pass on the street, in the mall, that I'd have died to get in my 20s. A result of eye contact.

nekowafer:
And see, that sort of thing doesn't matter to me in the least. I can certainly understand that others would enjoy it. But I don't really want random strangers to smile at me.

LTK:

--- Quote from: nekowafer on 07 Sep 2012, 05:20 ---I actually thought for a while that I was on the autism spectrum. No official diagnosis or anything like that, but it would have explained many things.

I can't read people's body language well either - now I'm wondering, is it because I'm not looking at them directly more often?

--- End quote ---
Yesterday I had a lecture from a developmental psychology researcher. She said that, when you pick a mental illness from the DSM, like autism, ADHD or bipolar disorder, and look at the list of symptoms, then you're like, duh, tons of people fit that description! I could fit that description, and I'm not sick, am I? But then, when you meet someone who actually does have the disorder, it suddenly falls into place. You can tell there's something wrong with them in a way that can't be summed up by a list of symptoms.

Body language - yeah, you gotta learn to start paying attention to that as well. Social skills are just that: skills, which you have to learn and practice. I remember a primary school teacher claiming that there's a noticeable difference when a toddler has spent a few extra months in preschool when it comes to their social skills. The things that we don't learn as children, we have to catch up on as adults.

Elysiana:

--- Quote from: idontunderstand on 07 Sep 2012, 03:07 ---Because of my hearing problem I read lips a lot, mostly subconsciously. This creates a problem when it comes to eye contact, since I both tend to stare at people when they talk, but not quite into their eyes. The effect is somewhere between Woody Allen and Hannibal Lecter. Sometimes I notice I make someone uncomfortable and I look away and try to hear what they say without looking at them, with varying results.. people can get annoyed when someone both won't look into their face and also don't reply/reply in a weird way to what they're saying, since it makes me seem nonchalant. So it's a difficult balancing there..

--- End quote ---
You just got me thinking, and I realized I do this too. I have some minor hearing issues and I always do better if I either read their lips, or completely focus on something different and turn my head to hear the person. What this sometimes ends up meaning is that I look down at someone's chest as I process what they're saying >_<

Pilchard123:
Well, that could be awkward...

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