So things have been a mix of great and terrible, and seems to be my new normal.
I still don't have a real job, and my temp job ends on Sat, I had to hire a lawyer to fight that unemployment fraud thing, and my Perkins loans are overdue enough that they have started collections calls.
But, I'm giving a talk next month at a local professional event, next month and have submitted a proposal to a national 3 day conference. I thought I'd not gotten into the national one, but I ran into a professor, who it turns out was one of the peer reviewers for it, and he said he loved it, and is pushing for them to accept it, which made me double check, and the decisions are not made until next week, so there is hope yet! A friend and I are also working on a poster submission for the same conference, which I am excited about because it means researching in a different direction. My talk in Oct, the one next month and the proposed one for this conference are all very theoretical and on the same topic, just a bit deeper exploration each time, and tailored for the theme. Working on this poster session will be a good break from that because it's more example based history.
If the talk and or poster are accepted, I'll have to figure out funding though. Since I have graduated, I can't get funding through the university, though my co-poster-maker can, so if that's in we can share a car and room at least, but conference admission (which is not waived for accepted posters) is $470. I *think* there's a reduced fee if the talk is accepted? but if the poster is not, my friend will not be going, which means I would need to cover the hotel and car myself. I think I might try to crowdfund this, which I feel weird about, but I think is probably my best bet. Going to this conference is pretty important for my career, even if I don't get anything accepted, and I think between my friends, family, and classmates, I know enough people who understand that, care about my success, and have a few dollars to spare, that I can get this funded.
Also, I am starting to realize that a lot of my lack of career success is because of my confidence issues, and I'm thinking about seeing someone for help with that. I have charisma and confidence and extroverted social skills out the ass, unless it is something related to my intellect or academic ability, and then I just shut down... But that's a long self-reflection for another thread.