I don't see anything negative in Hank's part of that conversation. He's supporting Joyce and her decisions on who to be friends with, and trusting her to stay strong in her faith. He's also saying that the more they try to control her, the more likely she will be to do something to break free of that control. He's basically advocating for her freedom and right to choose. I'd call that pretty noble. And he's open minded and kind enough to welcome Becky into their home without treating her the way Carol does, and is even trying to accept her being a lesbian, despite what his church is telling him about being gay.
Carol is obviously just a massively controlling tool who wants to dominate her children and force them to be what she wants them to be, regardless of anything else. She has shown no kindness or compassion towards Becky... You know, two things that are supposed to be pretty high on the 'to do' list for her faith. I don't think she'll go all Ross on Joyce. But I would see her trying to pull her out of the school, and if that fails, trying to cut off all ties in a 'if you aren't going to be obedient, I cast you out' kind of way. Which would be emotionally devastating to Joyce, and pretty hard financially, as I am guessing she receives some sort of financial aid from them.
Basically, Joyce had every reason to dread this trip. And I think this weekend will show that she actually wasn't worried enough.