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The QC Joke Tellers Thread.
jhocking:
My go-to joke for threads like this:
A chicken sandwich walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender responds, "Sorry, we don't serve food here."
lol
/
:-D
Jimmy the Squid:
Well, one afternoon about seven months ago, this gay Taliban lawyer walks into a bar with a talking parrot on his shoulder.
The Taliban bartender is like, "Man, I just have got to know what that's all about! I mean, the bird thing!" Anyhow, the lawyer looks at him pretty mean, because in their religion it's, like, super rude to be nosy.
About twelve and a half minutes later, the lawyer persuades the owner of the building to fire the imperfect bartender. I think that at the end of the joke the bartender's life is screwed up pretty bad. He doesn't have a lot of options.
Jimmy the Squid:
So you guys hear the one about the priest who gave head to the mailman?
Well, there's this priest, and he's pretty down on his luck. He prays to God that his luck will improve, and the very next day a horny mailman shows up. Well one thing led to another. You can pretty much guess what they did. It wasn't too cool.
I mean, don't get me wrong. I'm not against gays. I'm actually pretty open minded, once you get to know me.
squawk:
Oh, neat! Fifty bucks!
Johnny C:
Q: What's sad about four black people driving a van off of a cliff?
A: The loss of human life.
Q: What's the difference between an elephant and a grape?
A: One is a pachyderm, the other is a fruit.
Q: How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: It probably only takes one, unless she isn't mechanically inclined, or is too short to reach the fixture. She may then require someone's help, just like anyone with similar skills in that situation.
A man walks into a bar. He has a few drinks with his friends and excellent conversation. At the end of the evening he returns home, glad to have had a relaxing night out.
A priest, a rabbi and Madonna are trapped in a boat. After finding a small amount of irony in their situation and relieving the tension with a laugh, they get about the difficult business of surviving: organizing rowing shifts, lookout and rationing out the few signal flares included in the boat, (which is actually a life raft, but for all intents and purposes "boat" will do) for when it turns night. Due to diligence, they are spotted and rescued from their ordeal within a couple of days.
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