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[Aimless]

Again I dont know where I am at with her.  Just a friend, a potential relationship, or what.

I'm in the "wait and see" camp as well hope you enjoy yourself!



Wizard: sweet no wonder you're floating on air, sounds like the last couple of weeks have been nothing short of brilliant

[BrittanyMarie]

Oh Linds, have I ever mentioned I like you? Because I do. Stealing that for a sig, YES!

[Lines]

<3

[20 jazz funk greats]

<3 you all.

he's not a virgin btw!  nor is he incredibly awkward around ladies or people in general. eager to please and slightly old fashioned (he brought me roses! on a first date! i was charmed) maybe. i mean he asked me if i want to "go steady" with him. who says stuff like that, honestly? haha, but other than that he is an alright dude. i may want to spend more time with him.
wow, i'm suuuch a heartbreaker!

[Slick]

Fuck roses on a first date. That's hollow. Hollow as fuck.

[Slick]

"Hey I understand how mechanisms are supposed to work and I feel certain things look I've got you roses because I'm a tool"

[20 jazz funk greats]

oh james, stop being bitter cause i CRUSHED YOUR DREAMS REPEATEDLY.
<3

it's a very cliche romantic gesture but i've never had it happen to me before on a first date so it was a pleasant surprise. there's a possibility that the boy may still end up being a tool  (i will explain why later) but honestly there's no need to insult him at this point.

[Eris]

He may end up being a tool because you CRUSHED his DREAMS.


You dream crusher, you.

[20 jazz funk greats]

now i have a new sig too.
excellent.

[20 jazz funk greats]

or maybe that should have been "sexcellent".

[MrBlu]

In short, girls who don't understand this(like you, apparently) are the reason so many guys end up becoming heartless bastards. Its the only way they can survive.

This is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. People get shot down. People move on. Sack the fuck up.

+1

[Masterbainter]

I don't think that's obsessive, or that I'm freaking out over it or anything like that.  I just don't think it's very nice to be like, "Oh hey, surprise kisses!  I'm gonna go now, so it's up to you to figure out whether or not I actually like you.  Bye!"

but what do you think he thinks?

He probably just wants smoochie smoochie and no string and all that good stuff.  He probably decided after the kiss he doesn't even want anything more than that.  If you don't maybe pass that knowledge to him.  He might be a little spooked for different reasons.  Maybe your brother told him something that kind of spooked him.  But really, just do what you say you are by not obsessing and play wow or whatever.  He'll come around if he wants some more smoochie smoochie, however that's probably all he's looking for.

[Masterbainter]

I guess I'm wondering, do you think that in general people's romantic interests in one another can alter over time? Is it possible that in two, three years from now he will realise he does actually love me romantically not just as a very good friend? Or am I being overly optimistic and thereby wasting opportunities to branch out and meet new people?

You're wasting opportunities and being overly optimistic.

For the record, when we met I was seven and he was seventeen. I'm now eighteen (and obviously he's twenty-eight) so it's no longer weird.

You definately wasting opportunities and being overly optimistic.... And yes it's still weird.


edit: sorry for the double post...also..

Guys NGQ is the worst, aside from maybe Masterbainter.

Disregard both of them, really.

Your mom!... but in all seriousness, I respect others opinions here, I just have a different view most the time.

[Alex C]

God damn it.

So, I was catching up with Penny Arcade and found that they had some posts about self-proclaimed pickup artists and people who are active in some bullshit group that refers to themselves as the seduction community. Apparently they have some practice referred to as "negging" which is the use of borderline insulting language or backhanded compliments as a way of approaching women. To me it sounds like some kind of moronic way to show off your confidence at their expense. Well, I don't approach women this way; I approach everyone that way. It's partly due to ol' Mexican superstitions-- you don't want to call too much attention to your children or loved ones because the gaze of envious people can cause bad luck. You know, it's an evil eye thing. So, basically, my grandmother raised all of us in such a way that the back handed compliment essentially replaced terms of endearment in my family and the habit has stuck. For example, my dog Maggie answers to such loving terms as cochina, Maggot and stupid baby. My mother sometimes refers to her brother Steven as the biggest, stupidest jerk she knows (she also once cried when he moved two hours drive away because they don't see each other so much anymore, and when she first divorced he acted essentially as my surrogate father for years). But now I'm mildly horrified that my default communication style could cause me to be associated with these ass hats.
 
I might actually have to start being nice and honest with my emotions and shit.

[Masterbainter]

being an ass has it's ups, but once you get them you have to become nicer over time...

or use the nice guy approach and become an ass over time.  Either way.

[Eris]

Can we please not bring up the 'nice guy' thing again, because I swear I will smack some bitches if we get some "bloo bloo bloo nice guys finish last; the only people who get the girls are arseholes" shit in here.

[JD]

I can't wait for NQG to respond.

[Masterbainter]

isn't his problem not having the gal to go out or something?

[Aimless]

I'm not sure if I remember correctly, but I think one way this negging business was described in The Game was as an aspect of a general approach to women (or perhaps to everyone) that might strengthen one's own confidence: treat them kinda like you'd treat your sister, or your mate from grade-school who just happens to be a lady. Oh, and feel free to have a healthy disregard for various unwritten social rules.

You don't have to be an asshole and deliberately prey on the insecurities of insecure women with major issues, but different strokes I guess...

I don't think there's much reason to worry about being suspected of being an asshole though. That risk has always existed, since long before the "seduction community" arose, and it's there even in a meeting with someone who's never even heard of those people. The best you can do is to not [deliberately] be an asshole, and trust that that will be enough to uphold your good image.

[LeeC]

I guess I'm wondering, do you think that in general people's romantic interests in one another can alter over time? Is it possible that in two, three years from now he will realise he does actually love me romantically not just as a very good friend? Or am I being overly optimistic and thereby wasting opportunities to branch out and meet new people?

You're wasting opportunities and being overly optimistic.

For the record, when we met I was seven and he was seventeen. I'm now eighteen (and obviously he's twenty-eight) so it's no longer weird.

You definately wasting opportunities and being overly optimistic.... And yes it's still weird.

I agree with you 100%!
you see this?


this is a ducky.  Do not be a ducky.  A ducky is a person that is best friends with the one they like and want to be with, but despite how nice they are or how compatible they seem to be, ducky is so dillusioned with the fact that ducky only wants, or only can be with their friend that ducky will no longer persue other oppertunities. Now despite all this longing, yearning, or whatever, the person ducky wants to be with, does not have the same feeling towards ducky. From expierence in high school as being a ducky, I say move on, if something happens later down the line sure, but do not count on it.  Move on.  Good luck and have fun.

And thanks all.  I guess I am at a wait and see but I just like to be sure of stuff and I am not with this situation.  Looks like I dont have a choice but to wait and see.  Thanks again! 

[Coward]

oh james, stop being bitter cause i CRUSHED YOUR DREAMS REPEATEDLY.
<3

Ooh, back story.

[NeverQuiteGoth]

I can't wait for NQG to respond.

Next on FOX! So You Think You Can Fart?

[20 jazz funk greats]

But now I'm mildly horrified that my default communication style could cause me to be associated with these ass hats.

stop being horrified. "negging" is just one tactic used by pickup artists. it is not the entire pinnacle of seduction arts. based on what i know about you, you are a nerdy and somewhat sarcastic guy who plays too much wow. no one would ever mistake you for one those guys.  (this is meant as a compliment)

[Alex C]

I'd say something about how I only play 3 nights a week, but it rings a li'l hollow since I have tankspot open in another window so I can get raid strats down before thursday. I need help.

[Josefbugman]

We can never tell what the future is going to hold, but yeah, don't spend too long being hung up on someone, from what I have seen it doesn't seem to help.

Also, when was it decided that socially awkward virgins minds would shatter like a fine porcelain vase under a jackhammer if exposed to rejection? I am socially awkward and virginal, doesn't mean that I have fallen to my knees screaming "nooooooooooooooooooo" after I was rejected. It all depends on the people involved.

[JD]

I can't wait for NQG to respond.

Next on FOX! So You Think You Can Fart?

Fantastic post, would definitely read again, 5 stars

Enjoy the random pagebreak bitches

[Alex C]

Sometimes a young mind needs a shattering rejection just to get that crap over with. Hell, I suffered a preemptive mind-shattering; I was so certain I was going to rejected that I was bummed out about it right up until I finally asked her and she said yes. I'm pretty glad that whole puberty thing is over with.

[Josefbugman]

ahhhhh, youth. I'm still enjoying it despite the fact that I am in my twenties.

So, I was wondering, what do people usually feel towards people you want to have a relationship with? Its just that I spend as much time as possible trying to be good and to like people, but I've found it increasingly weird trying to get any sort of emotional thing beyond friendship going. Was just wondering if this is a sign of me going mental, or a sign that I am trying too hard or something else entirely.

Answers on a postcard to the usual address

[Professor Snuggles]

Honestly though, this is the most depressing thread on the internet.

A bunch of maladjusted forum nerds trying to figure out why they are having trouble with girls(or boys!) by complaining about their poor social skills in a setting that is only going to serve to further retard the development of those social skills. Find a person, or persons!, you like, ask them out, be a relatively normal person, get laid.


Josef, trying to like people is a terrible idea. Hang out with people, let an attraction develop, or not!, and go from there. Forcing it is like, the dumbest thing.

Don't be dumb.

[evilbobthebob]

Honestly though, this is the most depressing thread on the internet.

You clearly haven't seen the equivalent on the xkcd forums. One guy on that admitted to doing what one of the comics depicted in real life. Then asked for advice about it. It wasn't one of the nice romantic comics either...

[onewheelwizzard]

On the other hand, a few days ago me and my girlfriend had a conversation after sex after which I pointed out that we'd basically just written an xkcd comic, and we both had a great laugh about that and then had sex again.

I think the conversation was about creating a relationship grid that functioned like a political-leaning grid, with one axis representing the two partners' willingness to open the relationship up to the possibility of involving third parties in some way, and the other axis representing the partners' willingness to exchange roles with one another (such that the four corner extremes of the grid would be a dedicated master/slave BDSM relationship, a swinger relationship in which each of the two people were each always doms or subs no matter who they were with, a monogamous relationship in which each partner tried every facet of role-playing in turn and both got turns being in charge, and a polyamorous relationship in which both partners were free to do whatever they wanted).

I don't know, it was funny at the time, and then the sex was good (really good actually), so I guess the moral of the story is, don't rag on xkcd nerds and their relationships?

[Josefbugman]

Who said I was forcing it? I am hanging out with people to be friends with them, its just that for a lot of people they immediatly have a sort of "frisson" with people, I have never really got that with people and was wondering if it was just me.

I do admit it wasn't well phrased though, what I mean to say is I am just trying to make friends but I don't seem to have any immediate attraction to people which a lot of people just seem to get. People seem to get attracted and fall over themselves to pursue it, or are told not to make friends with the person and pursue them.

Also I would like to see that graph, might be quite fun to see if people on the forum could place themselves on it.

[Bastardous Bassist]

Honestly though, this is the most depressing thread on the internet.

A bunch of maladjusted forum nerds trying to figure out why they are having trouble with girls(or boys!) by complaining about their poor social skills in a setting that is only going to serve to further retard the development of those social skills. Find a person, or persons!, you like, ask them out, be a relatively normal person, get laid.

QFT.  In my teens, I was all, "It hurts, so I'm going to go on the internet and complain about it."  Then I started hanging out with people in real life (reluctantly), and then I started having sex, and somewhere in there I became well-adjusted.  It still hurts sometimes, but not all the time, and I bet talking about it on a message forum doesn't help, does it?  It didn't for me, at least.

[NeverQuiteGoth]

and somewhere in there I became well-adjusted. 

It was the sex.

Sexual frustration is as damaging to emotional health as severe trauma.  :roll:Science says so!

[JD]

Science can be a little silly sometimes.

[NeverQuiteGoth]

Yeah, but that particular factoid is actually true (in my experience, at least).

[Masterbainter]

l2jerkoff

[Bastardous Bassist]

It's just not the same.

[Lines]

I have no sexing and I'm pretty damn well adjusted.

[Lines]

So basically, sack the fuck up.

[Alex C]

I heard virginity makes people irritable.

[Lines]

[Bastardous Bassist]

NO FUCKING WAY!  I mean, I've had plenty of sex.

No, in reality, I think actually interacting with people is what made me well-adjusted.  No sex just results in poor decisions.

[Lunchbox]

But having sex with some people is also a poor decision.

Bbasically the moral is just do whatever, keep smiling, you'll end up okay. Maybe.

[Lunchbox]

The previous post was the most useful and helpful post in the history of boarding.

[Bastardous Bassist]

But having sex with some people is also a poor decision.

And those are the types of decisions that no sex can lead to.

[Dimmukane]

If you're lucky (or just don't place too much importance on getting laid) you can learn to avoid those decisions.  I know I've (unknowingly, I didn't know how bad it was until much later, I just decided that getting sleep was more important than guaranteed sex with a hot chick) dodged a particularly bad choice that would have undoubtedly put my previous bullshit relationship problem to shame. 

[tania]

basically the moral is just do whatever, keep smiling, you'll end up okay.

yeah, i mean, pretty much. when it comes to relationships (including the casual sex stuff) i really just try to view it all as a learning experience where it's pretty pointless to waste a lot of time on regrets or constantly trying to make the right decision. so that guy was a dick, so you shouldn't have slept with that girl, so that relationship was a horrible catastrophe and your heart got shattered into a billion pieces. whatever! very few relationships are ever really a complete mistake. you'll always take something out of it. stop worrying, learn from the bad experiences, enjoy your life.

[Masterbainter]

This is starting to sound alot like that movie "he's just not that into you".

Pretty soon people will start talking about the rules and exception to the rules and by the end of this all someone will fall in love with someone they never though they would (PS and NQG) and everyone goes "Awwww..."

[Bastardous Bassist]

Awwwww

Damnit, you're right.  I was just thinking about it.  But I think the key point here is that we're saying there aren't rules.  People do things.  Some of them work out well, some of them don't work out well.  Try to do things that work out well, and if you don't, then at least you'll have learned to avoid that sort of thing in the future.