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Best Birthday Party Ever!

1 (1.4%)

Ask him how he met his GIRLFRIEND.

1 (1.4%)

Wait, so you guys AREN'T a couple?

10 (13.5%)

If I were into dudes, I could do WAY better than that!

1 (1.4%)

You were FLIRTING with me! And you have a GIRLFRIEND!

0 (0%)

MARTEN's the one who wanted to get his flirt on with you.

2 (2.7%)

You made it AWKWARD. Maybe it wouldn't have BEEN Awkward...

0 (0%)

Talker Johnson PI - he talks too much, and somehow that helps him solve crimes.

14 (18.9%)

I'm not even sure what they're trying to do

1 (1.4%)

Oh, look at the time, I'd better get going.

0 (0%)

Elliot: "I'm sure Padma won't make a..."

0 (0%)

AAAAAA! How can a dude your size be so stealthy?

6 (8.1%)

I tend to quietly loom. It's a problem.

11 (14.9%)

Eww, you eat beef jerky? It could be butt-meat!

3 (4.1%)

It came from the steak part of the cow.

4 (5.4%)

Bee arr bee.

1 (1.4%)

Did you eat all my jerky? (MO! Mayme...)

10 (13.5%)

I'm gonna have a heart attack!

0 (0%)

If you could get a heart attack from ONE bag of jerky...

1 (1.4%)

OH MY GOD WE HAVE TO GET YOU TO THE HOSPITAL

8 (10.8%)

Total Members Voted: 63

[Odin]

The only good thing about "jerky" would be the ridiculous Slim Jim commercials featuring the Macho Man that we got out of them.

[Carl-E]

Like I said, Slim Jims aren't even close  to Jerky. 

Well, they hang next to each other in the rack at the store, but that's about as close as they get!  Slim Jims are a sausage ("beef stick" is their term), it's a whole different process. 

I know, I know, you don't recognize such subtleties, and probably don't care, since you've lumped them all together as "disgusting". 

some of us actually like  our processed meat products...  now, where'd I leave the braunschweiger?

[TheEvilDog]

I live in a city that considers spiced beef to be a delicacy, so excuse me if I don't pass judgement on strips of meat that look like they were left behind a radiator for several months. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to see if I can find an ill emoticon.

[Odin]

Slim Jim actually has jerky (example), you're thinking of the sticks.

[akronnick]

Who the Hell buys beef jerky from Amazon.com?

[Kugai]

Hehehe

Now she'll have to buy some mere - for herself and Marigold.

[Carl-E]

Slim Jim actually has jerky (example), you're thinking of the sticks.

Well of course  I am, because you said "slim jim", and (aside from a tool for breaking into a car), that's what a slim jim is!  I'd never seen the commercials for Slim Jim Jerkey (only those damned bigfoot ones for the sticks), but I don't watch much TV, and I'd not seen the jerkey either - I think it's just not in this market yet. 

Besides, "Slim Jim" has been synonynous with beef sticks since the depression!  Why would I even guess you weren't the one who was confused? 

[Akima]

Would there be a vegan substitute for jerky, by any chance? I wouldn't mind sampling THAT...

I do wish people would stop using vegan as a synonym for vegetarian. I know it's a shorter word, but that's like calling every vehicle on the road a car, because it's a shorter word than truck, lorry, bicycle, motorbike etc. All vegans are vegetarian, but not all vegetarians are vegans, OK?

I don't think I've ever seen the equivalent of jerky, but there are vegie versions of all sorts of Western-conventional foods: hot-dogs and other sausages, burgers, even bacon. They're acceptable, and convenient for social barbecues (practically a religious rite in Australia), but not my food of choice.

I forgot to say, in my earlier post on the latest strip, that Hanners and Marigold go so well together, socially and comedically.

[Tetrinity]

I do wish people would stop using vegan as a synonym for vegetarian. I know it's a shorter word, but that's like calling every vehicle on the road a car, because it's a shorter word than truck, lorry, bicycle, motorbike etc. All vegans are vegetarian, but not all vegetarians are vegans, OK?

I've been a vegan for two years; I'm aware of the differences between the two words. If I was only a vegetarian rather than a vegan, I would've asked about a vegetarian alternative instead.

There's a tofu hot dog I rather like, and there are many "packet mix" burgers that are suitable, so I was just curious about the possibility of a mock "beef" jerky.

[pendrake]

1. For Tetrinity:  http://www.primalspiritfoods.com/products_flavor_details.php

2. Sorry to run over your line of thought with a vegan lorry, Akima...

[Tetrinity]

Neat, thanks. I may well order some, or even try making some myself; I'm a sucker for seitan...

[cesariojpn]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CAn0PBjhwW4

Goddammit Discovery, bring this show back!!

[apopanda09]

Om nom nom Butt-meat. Hanners is so awesome.


**Also, Beef Jerky is delicious. It's a tasty snack that's high in protein and is better for you than potato chips**

[TheBiscuit]

Eww, meat.

Would there be a vegan substitute for jerky, by any chance? I wouldn't mind sampling THAT...

The local Chinese supermarket where my girlfriend lives often stock these things I think of as tofu jerky. Small, chewy strips of bean curd, impregnated with flavours like barbeque style, szechuan style, satay style. They aren't quite as chewy or as long-lasting as real jerky, but they can be pretty tasty. Since they are tofu I assume they are vegan, unless there are some really strange additives used for flavouring.

You should look to see if there's a Chinese/Asian supermarket near you.

[cesariojpn]

Eww, meat.

Would there be a vegan substitute for jerky, by any chance? I wouldn't mind sampling THAT...

The local Chinese supermarket where my girlfriend lives often stock these things I think of as tofu jerky. Small, chewy strips of bean curd, impregnated with flavours like barbeque style, szechuan style, satay style. They aren't quite as chewy or as long-lasting as real jerky, but they can be pretty tasty. Since they are tofu I assume they are vegan, unless there are some really strange additives used for flavouring.

You should look to see if there's a Chinese/Asian supermarket near you.

Most "Tofu Burgers" are actually made from Okara, a byproduct of Tofu making.

[Is it cold in here?]

Are tofu byproducts like beef byproducts?

Shouldn't Hannelore prefer eating synthetic chemicals? They're purer than meat, have no chance of bearing parasites, are free of pathogens, and don't have any insecticides (organic vegetables synthesize their own natural insecticides).

[Akima]

I've been a vegan for two years; I'm aware of the differences between the two words. If I was only a vegetarian rather than a vegan, I would've asked about a vegetarian alternative instead.

I'm sorry; my bad.   <--- Red face.

[rje]

Homemade jerky is the only jerky
god daaaamn I miss my dehydrator

fff i actually made myself start drooling...
and curses on whoever brought up venison jerky earlier! :V haven't had venison in yearss, miss it so much

yay Hannelore & marigold hijink ensuing! i love those two together

[Is it cold in here?]

Why do I have this idea in my head that Hannelore is a vegetarian? I can't think of anything from the archives to support that idea.

We know she's not vegan, because she ordered a cheese pizza in 716.

Just wondering how much of a departure it was for her to try the beef jerky.

[Border Reiver]

Eww, meat.

Would there be a vegan substitute for jerky, by any chance? I wouldn't mind sampling THAT...

That would be dried fruit - also potentially delicious, but depends on the fruit for my own tastes - peaches, apples and grapes are delicious; plums, not so much....

[Mr_Rose]

I love me some fruit leather (as it's called here) but I also have access to Europe's entire back-catalogue of sausages and sausage-like spiced meat products, as well as every kind of ham. Jerky just kind of got squeezed out of the market.
Unless you're willing to go to an Aussie bar and get massively over-priced biltong jerky.

[chaironic]

Hanners seems always to push her boundaries when no one is looking. When she does something ostensibly out of character around the other characters, they all call her on it, sometimes sort of accusing her of being inconsistent. Is this just because her getting caught is a cute gag, or are her friends typecasting her, keeping her from growing?

[chaironic]

• Renee has not shown us much in the way of positives since she appeared on the scene. Please to remember the last scene before Marten and Hanners left TSB - she was face down on the counter, apparently taking a nap.

That is quite possibly the biggest positive I've ever heard.

[Tetrinity]

I'm sorry; my bad.  <--- Red face.

'Tis quite alright, you didn't know. I get annoyed with people misusing the words too.

That would be dried fruit - also potentially delicious, but depends on the fruit for my own tastes - peaches, apples and grapes are delicious; plums, not so much....

True, though fruit doesn't really try to emulate beef jerky (I'd be rather worried if it did!). I'm rather fond of apples and apricots myself. Limes too, but you don't really get those in dried form.


I think there's more evidence towards Hanners being an omnivore than a vegetarian. Even discounting the beef jerky, there have been literally(?) no references by her to vegetarianism. I'm not even sure if it's been mentioned at all in the comic other than the lobster hipster and Marten's mom being grossed out by a discussion about eating animal muscle, and those were both VERY early on in the comic, way before Hanners was even introduced.

It does seem like the sort of thing she might do, though. Perhaps she's just never really given it much thought.

[Mr_Rose]

She did (try to) eat a burrito that one time, but got put off by a katydid...the only other time's we've seen her consuming anything that I can recall involved (new) alcoholic beverages and hilarious/adorable grimaces.
Maybe she really is a robot/cyborg, powered by an alcohol fuel cell, after all....

[St.Clair]

What? You mean contributing to the death of the English language? No, you're not the only people doing that.

"The problem with defending the purity of the English language is that English is about as pure as a cribhouse whore." - James Nicoll

I agree with him, and I majored in it at university.

[DSL]

Diane Duane once put these words into a character's mouth: "English doesn't so much borrow from other languages as chase them into dark alleys, knock them down and go through their pockets."

"Impact" as a verb still makes me grind my teeth, though.

[Kugai]

Ar, that be rite then there lad.

[Sorflakne]

Hanners' reaction to the beef jerky is identical to mine when I'm around venison jerky.  Seriously, I can eat an entire bag of it and be well into a second before my brain breaks through the euphoria that is the taste of homemade venison jerky and tells me to stop...futilely.  Same thing for venison sticks.

[The Duke]

Eww, meat.

Would there be a vegan substitute for jerky, by any chance? I wouldn't mind sampling THAT...

That would be dried fruit - also potentially delicious, but depends on the fruit for my own tastes - peaches, apples and grapes are delicious; plums, not so much....

Sir, dried fruit is no substitute for jerky.  I like it, but I wouldn't call it a substitute; I would say it's an entirely different entity.

[Carl-E]

Most "Tofu Burgers" are actually made from Okara, a byproduct of Tofu making.

I coulda swore  that said okra.  Took three readings to ralize I was wrong. 

Thank goodness. 

The thought of an okra burger is just... harsh

Hanners seems always to push her boundaries when no one is looking. When she does something ostensibly out of character around the other characters, they all call her on it, sometimes sort of accusing her of being inconsistent. Is this just because her getting caught is a cute gag, or are her friends typecasting her, keeping her from growing?

. 

The only time I recall anyone "calling her on it" was with the earrings.  Any corrections are more than welcome.  Aside from that, you make an interesting point.  Do OCD sufferers push boundaries more when alone, or in a social situation?  I spose it may depend on the individual, and I know some of them never push those boundaries at all without professional help. 

Also, she's a pokeslut.  That was definitely a boundary push, as was the pretend date.  Both done in front of friends! 

[maddness]

I also read it as okra first time round.

[DSL]

Kind of interesting to me that, as Hanners pushes her boundaries (whether the rest of the cast sees it or not) and, theoretically, develops as a character -- it seems to me, anyway, that Jeph is drawing and writing her steadily younger than the rest of the cast. I know the "powerful" drugs were offered and accepted as the explanation, but in that Famous First Encounter and for many strips thereafter, Hannelore (not yet Hanners) was almost a contemporary; now she seems like everyone's little sister.

[Dr. ROFLPWN]

What? You mean contributing to the death of the English language? No, you're not the only people doing that.

"The problem with defending the purity of the English language is that English is about as pure as a cribhouse whore." - James Nicoll

I agree with him, and I majored in it at university.

Linguistically speaking, besides, addition of things like BRB does nothing to the English lexicon but expand it. A language doesn't die unless it's systematically suppressed.

[cesariojpn]

Hanners, CALM THE FUCK DOWN!!!

[Dr. ROFLPWN]

>Hannelore: Flip the fuck out.

You do so. Marigold is utterly nonplussed with this unsurprising development.

You know how the Thricefold Posse (and Steve) were saying Marty and Steve were bros? Nah man. These two. These two are bros.

Hanners <> Marigold forever.

(and yes rje since I never got back to you before if by "bit of a Homestuck fan" you mean one of the wretched people who spend half a night F5ing in hopes of updates, yes, I am one of those ;_;

fuckin' Hussie mang)

[CEOIII]

Just chiming in to say: Mari is just HUGE. Did she and the others ever go bra shopping for her?

[westrim]

That's a pretty formfitting shirt Marigold's wearing, it's tucking quite nicely under her mammaries.

Also, Hannelore, she didn't eat 100 bags at once! And haven't we seen Marigolds' expression before on someone else who was also responding to Hanners spazzing out?

[Blackjoker]

I have an odd urge to hug Marigold, either that or give her a plush walrus, plush walruses are helpful when dealing with friends freaking out.

[Is it cold in here?]

Plush walruses need to be a recurring poll option.

[The Seldom Killer]

Does anyone make a plush walrus eating a waffle?

[Mr. Doctor]

The best thing here is easily Marigold's ¬¬ face being so perfect.

[westrim]

The best thing here is easily Marigold's ¬¬ face being so perfect.

How did you make those? Also I vote that we bring back the good old GOOGLE IT!, but I may be biased. Perhaps we should have a poll asking what punny poll items we should use?

EDIT: Woohoo! 400 posts and an upgrade from 'pneumatic ratchet pants' to 'fight you'!

[Is it cold in here?]

Waffle the Walrus.

[pendrake]

For comic #1870...

1. Ah there is the OCD panicky Hannelore we all know and love and laugh to.  Earnest naivete like Hanners' is generally good comedy (conversely, abusing someone's naivete generally deserves severe beatings).

2. I think Marigold and Hannelore need to take a trip to The Secret Bakery soon...

3. You are not paranoid when They are really after you.  Just ask the schizophrenic voices in your head.

4. Could not find any plush walruses with waffles, how about a grumpy one with an ushanka...?



http://www.kidrobot.com/Toys/PlushToys/VasilytheGrumpiestWalrusPlush16Inch.html

[Carl-E]

Just chiming in to say: Mari is just HUGE.

All that pockey and jerkey has to go somewhere...

I have an odd urge to hug Marigold, ...

This is not unrelated to the previous quote, is it?  gotta get my mind out of the gutter!  

Waffle the Walrus.

"We don't know when or if this item will be back in stock."

 

[Loki]

What? You mean contributing to the death of the English language? No, you're not the only people doing that.

Technically, we talk German 99% of the time, so you could at most argue we are contributing to the death of German language

[Akima]

We know how Hanners stays so slim. It's all the joules she burns flailing and flipping out!

[Lubricus]

So... OCD as a way to lose weight, then? I doubt that'll catch on! 

[jwhouk]

Revelation of the week?

Padma was just kidding about Steve.    - 15 (11.7%)
Elliot really has the hots for Renee.    - 4 (3.1%)
Renee will go ape$#!+ when she finds out about Faye.    - 22 (17.2%)
Cross-neck scar guy is Tai's brother.    - 5 (3.9%)
Elliot lives with Padma in an apartment.    - 8 (6.3%)
The Faerie Girl is Penelope's sister!    - 8 (6.3%)
Elliot has an AnthroPC named Stewie.    - 10 (7.8%)
Renee is really Tai's sister.    - 4 (3.1%)
Padma is really Tai's sister.    - 8 (6.3%)
Steve worked with Renee in the DOKYA.    - 12 (9.4%)
MOAR PINTSIZE!!!!!11!!!!!!!!    - 12 (9.4%)
Where's the waffles?    - 20 (15.6%)

Total Voters: 128