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Fun Stuff => CHATTER => Topic started by: Eris on 19 Apr 2009, 15:39

Title: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Eris on 19 Apr 2009, 15:39: I think this is fairly self-explanatory; you know the drill.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Liz on 19 Apr 2009, 15:40: Man I guess this is my thread.

Who wants to come to Fargo to hang out?
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: 0bsessions on 19 Apr 2009, 15:42: So, are we not allowed to post in here if we've got a pretty awesome sex life?

If so, I suppose I could delete this, because man, my sex life is pretty awesome.

But I would so hate all of those commas to go to waste.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Johnny C on 19 Apr 2009, 15:43: wow the only thread i'll ever need
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: valley_parade on 19 Apr 2009, 15:43: Quote from: Misconception on 19 Apr 2009, 15:40
Man I guess this is my thread.

Who wants to come to Fargo to hang out?

Yeah, but then it'll just be awkward and unsatisfying because I suck at life.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Joseph on 19 Apr 2009, 15:43: Hey Jon! High fives!

o/
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: 0bsessions on 19 Apr 2009, 15:44: I don't do high fives anymore, I fist bump:

@=
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Dollface on 19 Apr 2009, 15:44: Where is fargo?
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: valley_parade on 19 Apr 2009, 15:45: In the movie section, next to Full Metal Jacket.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Liz on 19 Apr 2009, 15:45: Quote from: Johnny C on 19 Apr 2009, 15:43
wow the only thread i'll ever need

Oh Johnny.

EDIT: Fuck you, Shane.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Ã¶de on 19 Apr 2009, 15:46: AAAAAH C'MON
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Liz on 19 Apr 2009, 15:48: Fuck a forumite?

It has been a long time since I got any sort of action whatsoever, unless you count getting grinded on by gay men at a drag show. This makes me sad.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: SirJuggles on 19 Apr 2009, 15:49: *Wakes up*

Wha- Huh- Sexual frustration thread? What am I doing here? I don't belong here! I had sex just a few months ago! I swear! No! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: valley_parade on 19 Apr 2009, 15:50: Quote from: Misconception on 19 Apr 2009, 15:45
EDIT: Fuck you, Shane.

I'll catch the next flight.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Liz on 19 Apr 2009, 15:53: :|
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: valley_parade on 19 Apr 2009, 15:53: Blehhh.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Dimmukane on 19 Apr 2009, 15:56: Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

If any of you are aware of my situation in the Relationship Advice thread, that's basically the deal I'm in now. I've got this guy :angel: helping me out, but this one :evil: is getting louder and louder.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Tom on 19 Apr 2009, 15:56: heh
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Lines on 19 Apr 2009, 15:59: Quote from: Misconception on 19 Apr 2009, 15:48
It has been a long time since I got any sort of action whatsoever, unless you count getting grinded on by gay men at a drag show. This makes me sad.

This is very similar to me! I was told, "I'd have sex with you right now if I wasn't gay." I keep meeting new people, but they all turn out to be gay. This doesn't help me!

I was talking to a friend last night about singleness and we agreed that being single is easier, but it pretty much sucks ass.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Patrick on 19 Apr 2009, 16:05: If I post "COCKS" in here, I wonder how many liters of saliva it will trigger.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Liz on 19 Apr 2009, 16:23: I am going to go with no.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: sean on 19 Apr 2009, 16:28: oh hey thread

how are you today?

yeah im sexually frustrated too its okay though.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: StaedlerMars on 19 Apr 2009, 16:29: Quote from: Linds on 19 Apr 2009, 15:59
This is very similar to me! I was told, "I'd have sex with you right now if I wasn't gay." I keep meeting new people, but they all turn out to be gay. This doesn't help me!

Gay people saying "I'd have sex with you right now if you were gay" is worse cause then your only excuse is your own sexual orientation.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Cernunnos on 19 Apr 2009, 16:31: welp
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Liz on 19 Apr 2009, 16:35: Oh Jon.

<3
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: sean on 19 Apr 2009, 16:41: what about "yeah i'd sleep with you but i'm straight?"

eh?
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Scrambled Egg Machine on 19 Apr 2009, 17:10: Why not. I haven't been laid yet in my life. Argh.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Slick on 19 Apr 2009, 17:11: whatever it is over-rated
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Slick on 19 Apr 2009, 17:11: take up yoga
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Slick on 19 Apr 2009, 17:12: maybe start jogging or something
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Avec on 19 Apr 2009, 17:13: Ironic that I'm stuck doing a sex education packet?
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Ozymandias on 19 Apr 2009, 17:33: Correct.

I wanna cum.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Jimor on 19 Apr 2009, 17:44: Group field trip to the toy store?
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Siibillam-Law on 19 Apr 2009, 17:45: The levels of sexual frustration on this thread, chances are everyone's got porn on in other tabs and jerking it furiously as they're reading this very post
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Gemmwah on 19 Apr 2009, 17:49: Oh hi liz.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Johnny C on 19 Apr 2009, 17:51: Quote from: Sam on 19 Apr 2009, 17:08
soooo whaaaaat
the relationship thread is basically this do we need another "my penis a bloo bla bloo" thread

that one has like "questions" and "advice" this is just the opposite of notching a bedpost
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: 0bsessions on 19 Apr 2009, 17:53: Quote from: Siibillam-Law on 19 Apr 2009, 17:45
The levels of sexual frustration on this thread, chances are everyone's got porn on in other tabs and jerking it furiously as they're reading this very post

That's not necessarily indicative.

For example, I am not the least bit sexually frustrated, yet I am doing just that.

New thread sub-topic: tabbed browsing; best thing ever. y/n?
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Liz on 19 Apr 2009, 17:56: Gemm, dear, if I ever become a lesbian you will be my first choice.

Now go find me a boyfriend, that's a good girl.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: JD on 19 Apr 2009, 18:07: I am sexually apathetic, does that count?
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Coward on 19 Apr 2009, 18:10: It's better than my being sexually pathetic, certainly.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Darkbluerabbit on 19 Apr 2009, 18:13: See, this thread is about hooking up, which is not completely related to relationships. It's a little bloggy and probably won't last very long, but in the meantime I will enjoy it. Misery loves company.

Quote from: Objects inside Clouds on 19 Apr 2009, 16:41
what about "yeah i'd sleep with you but i'm straight?"

eh?

Grrr.
I am absolutely terrible at telling when someone is hitting on me. I just straight up can't tell unless it is super obvious. Just last night I was getting seriously eyed by a cute girl. I could tell, and my friend could tell. I got up to go to the dance floor and so did she, and we danced and it was nice, until her guy friends stepped in to warn me that she was straight, but just thought it was fun to go to the gay dance club and flirt with girls.

Not cool, cute girl. Not cool.

I mean, I get that flirting can be harmless fun, and I know that being flirted with doesn't entitle you to anything, but that just seems sort of mean, ya know? Sorry. Just needed to vent, and presently this thread exists as an appropriate place for my venting.

Also yes. I love tabbed browsing. It's been great for opening multiple peer-reviewed academic articles while working on a very serious paper.

And you know, other stuff.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Siibillam-Law on 19 Apr 2009, 18:21: Quote from: 0bsessions on 19 Apr 2009, 17:53

New thread sub-topic: tabbed browsing; best thing ever. y/n?

Yes
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: KickThatBathProf on 19 Apr 2009, 18:23: Yes.

O heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy thread what's up
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: benji on 19 Apr 2009, 18:32: Seriously? This thread starts now? If it had been posted 2 weeks ago... Hell, if it had been posted 2 days ago... but I guess I shouldn't be posting in here any more.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Slick on 19 Apr 2009, 18:41: (http://img240.imageshack.us/img240/1076/prettysk8.jpg)
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Slick on 19 Apr 2009, 18:42: for if you are frustrataed
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Tom on 19 Apr 2009, 19:01: James, I just ate.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Ballard on 19 Apr 2009, 19:11: Ohhhh hahaha hello thread. Pleasure to make your acquaintance.

Guys I hadn't gotten laid in six months and then I got laid last week but it was awful 'cause I was rusty and anxious and fucking regular lubricated Trojans are not the way to go apparently if you enjoy a) sensation and b) not having to constantly change condoms 'cause they keep drying out. Suffice it to say I am still sexually frustrated.

But she left her iPod on my bedside table? This may be good.

P.S. This thread man haha.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Cernunnos on 19 Apr 2009, 19:12: don't lie we know it's your desktop
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: MrBlu on 19 Apr 2009, 19:15: I like this thread.

I need this thread.

EVERYBODY GET IN MY PANTS.

No, really though, can I start venting on why I'm sad, or is the webcest not done yet?
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Lines on 19 Apr 2009, 19:18: James, this doesn't help at all. You in a bra in Canada just isn't the same as you here in a bra. See?
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Cire27 on 19 Apr 2009, 19:22: ITT: Circle jerks.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: MrBlu on 19 Apr 2009, 20:09: Has anyone heard the song "Passing Me By" by The Pharcyde?

I could have written that entire damn song. How is it that every time I get close to someone that I'm compatible with, personality wise and interests wise, something just comes in the way.

Whether it's "Oh, just came out of a bad relationship" (And then goes and has sex with my friend), or they migrate, or the latest one, which pisses me off the most, they're too old for me.

Now, let me vent about the last one for a bit. I've been counting the amount of times I've had a girl say "I'm not going to jail for you!". We've hit 5. Apparently I attract older girls and neither of us realize the age gap until questions start being asked. But fluffing COME ON. This one is EVERYTHING I've ever wanted in a girl, she's hot, she dances, she likes the EXACT same music I like, and more, and she's intelligent. BUT WTFLUFF she's 4 years older than me.

ASHKHSGDKGSDHDTHIS IS NOT HAPPENING TO ME.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: J-cob9000 on 19 Apr 2009, 20:16: Does this thread apply to me if I haven't hit puberty yet?

Okay, so I do in fact, have pubes and all that but I'm only 15 guys, I don't even think about that stuff yet.
Girls still have cooties to me.
Okay, maybe not.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: 0bsessions on 19 Apr 2009, 20:20: Are you crying about being a minor not getting laid? Seriously?

News flash: most of us didn't get laid. Cry me a river.

In other news:

Quote from: Ballard on 19 Apr 2009, 19:11
regular lubricated Trojans are not the way to go apparently if you enjoy a) sensation and b) not having to constantly change condoms 'cause they keep drying out.

Fucking Trojans, man. Stock up on something, anything, else. I have never in my sexually active life been a fan of their garbage rubbers. They dry out, they break constantly (Which, let me tell you, isn't funny the first time, much less the subsequent occasions), the pretty much numb you out. They are just terrible fucking condoms.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: MrBlu on 19 Apr 2009, 20:21: Are there any other kind?
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Slick on 19 Apr 2009, 20:21: Quote from: Midnight Umbreon on 19 Apr 2009, 20:16
Does this thread apply to me
Q: are you 1) sexy and 2) frustrated?
If yes on both, then yes.
If no on either, then no.

also fuck small text
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Drill King on 19 Apr 2009, 20:25: I just wanna say here that, ahaha oh man James I love you. Also, you can totally be a minor and be sexually frustrated.

And this post most certainly counts. hoooooooooooo boy does it count. But I, like most on this forum, are a bit gawky or live in weird social situations (read both of the above for myself), so being frustrated may not be my fault(or it is, I don't know, you're all lovely people why are we on the internet instead of meeting people and holding hands and making euphemisms, :c )
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Cire27 on 19 Apr 2009, 20:32: I also count my post.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: MrBlu on 19 Apr 2009, 20:39: *Raises hand*
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: squawk on 19 Apr 2009, 20:44: I AM SEVENTEEN YEARS OLD
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Slick on 19 Apr 2009, 20:45: I'd hit it.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Slick on 19 Apr 2009, 20:45: (sometimes I don't like myself or the things I say)
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Jimmy the Squid on 19 Apr 2009, 20:47: I've had sex with a 17 year old. Ain't no thing.

But then I live in a country with reasonable age of consent laws.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Slick on 19 Apr 2009, 20:49: yesssssss, and I think we've killed it?
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Jimmy the Squid on 19 Apr 2009, 20:52: Good show everybody.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Darkbluerabbit on 19 Apr 2009, 20:58: Man, it is totally possible to be a minor and be sexually frustrated. Especially because even if you are getting laid, odds are pretty good that it's lousy sex.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Jimmy the Squid on 19 Apr 2009, 21:01: But odds are that you don't know that it is lousy (though I am working on the assumption that both parties are relatively new to the whole experience) - it could be safe to assume that it is at least ok.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Lines on 19 Apr 2009, 21:02: This thread should have ended with James' picture. I mean, how can we be sexually frustrated with that picture? Other than the fact we're not all in Canada?

Basically I'm confused as to how this even got to two pages.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Dimmukane on 19 Apr 2009, 21:03: Man, fuck that noise. All I wanna do right now is listen to shitty mallcore bands and be fucking angsty. With extra eyeliner.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: TheFuriousWombat on 19 Apr 2009, 21:08: Quote from: Midnight Umbreon on 19 Apr 2009, 20:16
Does this thread apply to me if I haven't hit puberty yet?

Okay, so I do in fact, have pubes and all that but I'm only 15 guys, I don't even think about that stuff yet.
Girls still have cooties to me.
Okay, maybe not.

Man, that ain't no excuse. I remember getting boners to Victoria's Secret magazines in 4th grade! Of course, that still tends to be the extent of my sex life for the most part (not for lack of a willing partner, she just happens to be far away most of the time).
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Darkbluerabbit on 19 Apr 2009, 21:15: Yeah, child abuse is something that really really sucks that I thankfully have not experienced. By minor I meant 15-17, post puberty.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: SilentJ on 19 Apr 2009, 21:17: Man I totally thought this thread applied to me until I read it.

Going in I was all "oh man I haven't gotten laid in 5 months, I am totally sexually frustrated"

then somebody made a joke about this thread not applying to them because they god laid, and I was curious. How long's it been, people?

Also I don't care what it says about me, I have no problem with Trojans. They get the job done just fine for me. Or have in the past, anyhow.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Ballard on 19 Apr 2009, 21:27: Quote from: Ptommydski on 19 Apr 2009, 21:05
I'd imagine it does really suck for one of the parties involved if you see my point.

Quote from: tommydski on 12 Jan 2009, 08:04
An alarming number of women on this forum have seen or interacted with my chap

Quote from: Ptommydski on 19 Apr 2009, 20:51
I wanted to remind everyone of our shared heritage.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Ballard on 19 Apr 2009, 21:42: Quote from: Jimmy the Squid on 19 Apr 2009, 21:01
But odds are that you don't know that it is lousy (though I am working on the assumption that both parties are relatively new to the whole experience) - it could be safe to assume that it is at least ok.

Ohh man that is so far off the mark.

It is completely fucking lousy.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: 0bsessions on 19 Apr 2009, 21:50: Maybe you are just bad at sex, Gene?
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: onewheelwizzard on 19 Apr 2009, 22:11: Yeah I'm not that frustrated guys. I've had 5 assisted orgasms in the last 24 hours. I'm not exactly getting laid all that often, but I make it count.

I would've had some very different things to say two weeks ago though. I might again in another two.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Eris on 19 Apr 2009, 22:39: I think some people might be missing the point of this thread.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: onewheelwizzard on 19 Apr 2009, 22:49: I like talking about sexual frustration, though, whether or not I suffer from it.

Personally I suggest buying a book by Mantak (http://www.amazon.com/Multi-Orgasmic-Man-Sexual-Secrets-Should/dp/0062513362) Chia (http://www.amazon.com/Multi-Orgasmic-Woman-Mantak-Chia/dp/1594864853/ref=pd_bxgy_b_text_c) and getting some extra practice on your own body. It's basically win-win because it takes your mind off the fact that you're not having sex with other people, and prepares you better for when you do.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Johnny C on 19 Apr 2009, 23:16: lets all cum
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Gilead on 19 Apr 2009, 23:41: Quote from: onewheelwizzard on 19 Apr 2009, 22:11
Yeah I'm not that frustrated guys. I've had 5 assisted orgasms in the last 24 hours. I'm not exactly getting laid all that often, but I make it count.

I would've had some very different things to say two weeks ago though. I might again in another two.

"Post here if you're incredibly hungry!"
"Oh man I am eating the most delicious steak right now, it is the best thing ever, here I took a picture of it, I am showing you guys the picture of the steak, the steak that I am eating"

Also I am too frustrated about like, everything else to be frustrated about sex, anxiety makes me unsexy.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Ballard on 19 Apr 2009, 23:49: Man if anxiety was sexy I'd be drowning in women right now.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Lunchbox on 20 Apr 2009, 00:13: My boyfriend has been gone for a week, it is about 7 days and 16 hours. I have 11 weeks to go.
I actually bought a vibrator but for days I was too terrified to take it out of the packet, then I did take it out and it smells weird and I want it to go away.
One week.
We shall see how desperate I get.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Jace on 20 Apr 2009, 00:19: Hey thread, whats up. I work with a ridiculously hot girl. And I want her to make aquaintances with my penis. But we can never meet up outside of work.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: ruyi on 20 Apr 2009, 00:30: Quote from: onewheelwizzard on 19 Apr 2009, 22:11
assisted orgasms

like this phrase
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: MadassAlex on 20 Apr 2009, 00:31: Quote from: Ã¶de on 19 Apr 2009, 15:46
AAAAAH C'MON

Back in year 10 of high school, my friends and I were settling down to sleep in our tents. One of them pipes up: "Tom, who would you rather fuck? Teo, or Alex?"
There is a period of deliberation and debate. Finally, Tom responds: "Ergh, Teo". I respond thusly:

"AAAAAH, C'MON"

It is a moment remembered to this day.

Also, hi thread. I am very sexually frustrated, but I like to think that some women don't mind this.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Slick on 20 Apr 2009, 00:49: Quote from: onewheelwizzard on 19 Apr 2009, 22:11
assisted orgasms
Quote from: ruyi on 20 Apr 2009, 00:30
like this phrase

See I definitely find it sounds just a little too weird. It seems a logical, rational wording but I find it kind of stiff and clinical.
Maybe I am just a prude about talking about sex explicitly.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: MrBlu on 20 Apr 2009, 01:00: To me, it sounds like a chronic masturbater talking about sex.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Jimmy the Squid on 20 Apr 2009, 01:01: To me it sounds like you almost get there and then someone jumps in and helps you get the last way there.

Like in basketball.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: ruyi on 20 Apr 2009, 01:04: Quote from: Slick on 20 Apr 2009, 00:49
Quote from: onewheelwizzard on 19 Apr 2009, 22:11
assisted orgasms
Quote from: ruyi on 20 Apr 2009, 00:30
like this phrase

See I definitely find it sounds just a little too weird. It seems a logical, rational wording but I find it kind of stiff and clinical.
Maybe I am just a prude about talking about sex explicitly.

I like stiff and clinical! I don't know anything about sex though, maybe that's why I like to talk about it.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Johnny C on 20 Apr 2009, 01:12: Quote from: ruyi on 20 Apr 2009, 01:04
I like stiff

:I
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: ruyi on 20 Apr 2009, 01:19: Oh snap what do you know! A lascivious phrase be creepin into my post. Good eye Johnny C :police:
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Johnny C on 20 Apr 2009, 01:29: :evil:
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Tom on 20 Apr 2009, 02:04: Naughty.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Gemmwah on 20 Apr 2009, 02:49: Quote from: Misconception on 19 Apr 2009, 17:56
Gemm, dear, if I ever become a lesbian you will be my first choice.

Now go find me a boyfriend, that's a good girl.

I am not using my gay superpowers to find you a boyfriend, Liz.

That's not how it works.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Spluff on 20 Apr 2009, 02:56: Hey thread.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: snalin on 20 Apr 2009, 02:57: Quote from: MrBlu on 19 Apr 2009, 20:09
Whether it's "Oh, just came out of a bad relationship" (And then goes and has sex with my friend)

This

Quote from: MrBlu on 20 Apr 2009, 01:00
To me, it sounds like a ~~chronic masturbater~~ guy talking about sex.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Dollface on 20 Apr 2009, 03:26: When girls arent around dudes have real fun. (http://homotography.blogspot.com/2009/04/human-furniture-by-david-blazquez.html)
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: J-cob9000 on 20 Apr 2009, 04:09: Quote from: 0bsessions on 19 Apr 2009, 20:20
Are you crying about being a minor not getting laid? Seriously?
No.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Siibillam-Law on 20 Apr 2009, 04:43: Holy shit. I go to sleep for a few hours and this thing goes to three pages
The levels of sexual frustration in this forum are through the roof

or must we sink low and say reference a number above 8,999?
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: look out! Ninjas! on 20 Apr 2009, 04:53: Finally, a thread that I can truly feel at home in.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Liz on 20 Apr 2009, 05:48: Quote from: Gemmwah on 20 Apr 2009, 02:49
I am not using my gay superpowers to find you a boyfriend, Liz.

That's not how it works.

Damn.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Ozymandias on 20 Apr 2009, 06:57: Quote from: Johnny C on 19 Apr 2009, 23:16
lets all cum

Correct.

I wanna cum.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Christophe on 20 Apr 2009, 07:01: Quote from: Ozymandias on 20 Apr 2009, 06:57
I wanna cum.

(http://splinteredsunrise.files.wordpress.com/2007/09/twisted-sister-christmas.jpg)
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Covetous on 20 Apr 2009, 07:06: As said a few times now, Hi thread!

Btw, didn't think I was going to need a thread like this again. I was wrong. Damn chick not wanting to have any more sex with me "cus it can mess up our friendship". (Side note, yes we're still friends.)
And having a co-worker walking by every now and then with the nices ass I've ver seen doesn't help either.

Nice pic, I'd hit that.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Ballard on 20 Apr 2009, 07:49: Dude who wouldn't hit Dee Snider?
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: 0bsessions on 20 Apr 2009, 09:57: Quote from: Midnight Umbreon on 20 Apr 2009, 04:09
Quote from: 0bsessions on 19 Apr 2009, 20:20
Are you crying about being a minor not getting laid? Seriously?
No.

That was directed at MrBlu. I didn't see any real whining in yours.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Dazed on 20 Apr 2009, 10:13: Sup guys

EDIT: and girls, of course.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: StaedlerMars on 20 Apr 2009, 10:32: Dazed, I am now going to read everything you write as if the Dude is saying it.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: imapiratearg on 20 Apr 2009, 10:37: Can I be frustrated about not having enough sex?

'Cause I mean, I am getting pretty steady sex.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Josefbugman on 20 Apr 2009, 10:42: No good will come of that Staedler.

Also, sex has been a somewhat pre-occupation of mine of late, how people view it (not in terms of porn) and what makes people you know... tick in that particular department. I was just wondering if I was pretty much right with the impression I got is right. If its a purely sexual thing then power/control play a large part in it, whereas with more romantic/reciprocal relationships the act is an important component but by no means the only thing that makes people come together.

Also, I am sexually curious atm I don't have enough experience of people in general to come to any final ideas, but sex and everything that goes along with it sure as hell seems exciting.

You can still be sexually frustrated if you were constantly orgasming, just because you have something doesn't make you lose frustration with it.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Dazed on 20 Apr 2009, 10:46: Quote from: StaedlerMars on 20 Apr 2009, 10:32
Dazed, I am now going to read everything you write as if the Dude is saying it.

I am perfectly okay with this
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Coward on 20 Apr 2009, 10:54: Okay, here's one.

Now a number of people have raised their voices and said 'I am Spartacus' in this thread, what are people going to do about their sexual frustration?
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: WriterofAllWrongs on 20 Apr 2009, 11:09: I just recently lost my virginity, and I think I'm actually more sexually frustrated.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Drill King on 20 Apr 2009, 11:17: I am going to move away from where I live to somewhere that I have more sensible prospects and boys don't think my skinny jeans are weird.
(Yessss solutions!)
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Josefbugman on 20 Apr 2009, 11:35: Collect more info until I can work out if there is anyone I would actually like to sleep with.

I have noticed that Mr. Writer. People who have experienced sex seem to want to get back to it as fast as humanly possible, hence why I am somewhat filled with more than a little trepedation about it.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: WriterofAllWrongs on 20 Apr 2009, 11:39: To be honest, it's more about how awkward and sort of lame it and I was while it was happening than how much I want to get back to boning. So I'm more frustrated with sex than sexually frustrated I guess?
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Josefbugman on 20 Apr 2009, 11:42: If I am allowed to express an opinion, I think thats how I am probably going to be after my first time.

Also being frustrated at sex is a suprisingly good place to be, it means that you are thinking with your brain when it comes to relationships and are probably not up for a quick blow job in a back alley somewhere, which generally will give you a lot more self-respect.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Patrick on 20 Apr 2009, 12:13: Quote from: Jimmy the Squid on 19 Apr 2009, 20:47
I've had sex with a 17 year old. Ain't no thing.

But then I live in a country with reasonable age of consent laws.

I win with my 16-year-old girlfriend. Alaska is the greatest place on earth because that kind of thing is allowed. It is also the shittiest place because it is nowhere fucking near here.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: MrBlu on 20 Apr 2009, 12:16: Quote from: 0bsessions on 20 Apr 2009, 09:57
Quote from: Midnight Umbreon on 20 Apr 2009, 04:09
Quote from: 0bsessions on 19 Apr 2009, 20:20
Are you crying about being a minor not getting laid? Seriously?
No.

That was directed at MrBlu. I didn't see any real whining in yours.
What the fluff? No. I'm not.

EDIT::
Clarification: I'm not concerned about sex, just that everyone else around me is, but I figured "sexually frustrated" is the closest it could be described at. I'm just pissed off that everytime I get close to someone some crap happens, and a lot of the time it's that there's an age difference.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: 0bsessions on 20 Apr 2009, 13:07: Jimmy, Patrick, I know you guys are trying really hard to win the pedophile Olympics and all, but I think Ben's got this one wrapped up.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: -Karamazov- on 20 Apr 2009, 13:17: wow this thread grew quickly
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: mberan42 on 20 Apr 2009, 13:54: Quote from: 0bsessions on 20 Apr 2009, 13:07
Jimmy, Patrick, I know you guys are trying really hard to win the pedophile Olympics and all, but I think Ben's got this one wrapped up.

Ha!
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Puki on 20 Apr 2009, 14:59: Quote from: imapiratearg on 20 Apr 2009, 10:37
Can I be frustrated about not having enough sex?

'Cause I mean, I am getting pretty steady sex.

Well, yeah, you can.
Same here.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Ballard on 20 Apr 2009, 16:34: Quote from: Josefbugman on 20 Apr 2009, 10:42
No good will come of that Staedler.

Also, sex has been a somewhat pre-occupation of mine of late, how people view it (not in terms of porn) and what makes people you know... tick in that particular department. I was just wondering if I was pretty much right with the impression I got is right. If its a purely sexual thing then power/control play a large part in it, whereas with more romantic/reciprocal relationships the act is an important component but by no means the only thing that makes people come together.

Also, I am sexually curious atm I don't have enough experience of people in general to come to any final ideas, but sex and everything that goes along with it sure as hell seems exciting.

You can still be sexually frustrated if you were constantly orgasming, just because you have something doesn't make you lose frustration with it.

what?

dude, relax, stop thinking so much. the worst thing you can do when it comes to sex (this doesn't include having safe sex/being considerate of people's feelings, all that other fun stuff that any normal human being should keep in mind, just sex itself) is think that much.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: StaedlerMars on 20 Apr 2009, 17:05: hurr sex.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: est on 20 Apr 2009, 19:29: Quote from: 0bsessions on 20 Apr 2009, 13:07
Jimmy, Patrick, I know you guys are trying really hard to win the pedophile Olympics and all, but I think Ben's got this one wrapped up.

Is this a Ben that is not me? Else I am confused.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: J-cob9000 on 20 Apr 2009, 20:03: Quote from: 0bsessions on 20 Apr 2009, 13:07
Jimmy, Patrick, I know you guys are trying really hard to win the pedophile Olympics and all, but I think Ben's got this one wrapped up.

Do I count? I've had two 14 year old girlfriends. Note that these are high school girlfriends. I guess it wouldn't count because I was their age.
Damn.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Avec on 20 Apr 2009, 20:08: This thread is going to crash and burn.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Dazed on 20 Apr 2009, 20:09: No it does not count b/c you are 15 and not fucking them.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: SilentJ on 20 Apr 2009, 20:12: Quote from: WriterofAllWrongs on 20 Apr 2009, 11:09
I just recently lost my virginity, and I think I'm actually more sexually frustrated.

that tends to be how these things work

you've never had sex and it's not a big deal, but then you get laid and your body's just like "holy SHIT that was amazing! want want want want" and you just want to choke something
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Skibas_clavicle on 20 Apr 2009, 20:16: This whole thread makes me uncomfortable. There, I said it.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Jimmy the Squid on 20 Apr 2009, 20:21: Quote from: 0bsessions on 20 Apr 2009, 13:07
Jimmy, Patrick, I know you guys are trying really hard to win the pedophile Olympics and all, but I think Ben's got this one wrapped up.

That is a competition I am happy to lose.

Also it's not paedophilia unless one person is over 16 and the other person is under 13. Just sayin'.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Dazed on 20 Apr 2009, 20:27: So you don't consider a 40 year old fucking a 14 year old pedophilia?
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Ballard on 20 Apr 2009, 20:27: Quote from: SilentJ on 20 Apr 2009, 20:12
that tends to be how these things work

you've never had sex and it's not a big deal, but then you get laid and your body's just like "holy SHIT that was amazing! want want want want" and you just want to choke something

To reuse a punchline, sex is just like Pringles. Once you pop, you just can't stop!
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Jimmy the Squid on 20 Apr 2009, 20:29: Technically Dazed, no.

Still pretty distasteful though.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Slick on 20 Apr 2009, 20:34: Yeah see Jimmy is a psychologist (look out john travolta) and is using that (the) definition.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Jimmy the Squid on 20 Apr 2009, 20:54: I'm not making moral judgements here. A 40 year old having sex with a 14 year old is not paedophilia.
It's creepy and weird and definitely unethical especially if the 40 year old is in any kind of position of power (which they almost certainly are, by virtue of their being 26 years older than the 14 year old). It's almost always going to be terribly damaging (emotionally if not physically) to the younger party but it is not, by definition, paedophilia.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Ballard on 20 Apr 2009, 21:03: ITT Jimmy smashes pedants.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Gilead on 20 Apr 2009, 21:13: It's true, that's technically ephebophilia.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: KvP on 20 Apr 2009, 21:15: Quote from: est on 20 Apr 2009, 19:29
Quote from: 0bsessions on 20 Apr 2009, 13:07
Jimmy, Patrick, I know you guys are trying really hard to win the pedophile Olympics and all, but I think Ben's got this one wrapped up.

Is this a Ben that is not me? Else I am confused.
Est you are so old it is a common joke in these forums that you're old. That's how old you are.

Cradle Robber

Guys, being the epitome of twee that I am, I am not sexually frustrated. Rather, I am intimately frustrated. Oh, how I dream of one day finding a nice girl, with whom I will passionately exchange promise rings with, and pledge best friendship 4eva. We'll listen to Stars, and I will eat a sweet candy I enjoyed as a child while we gingerly hold hands. Ring-pops, maybe. Or pop rocks.

Guys it's so great I don't ever want to grow up whoopee is gross let's listen to Sufjan Stevens
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Jimmy the Squid on 20 Apr 2009, 21:30: Yeah but with your current run of luck, chances are that this girl will end up being a figment of some fat guy in Iowa's imagination. She may even steal your identity.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: est on 20 Apr 2009, 21:33: With the advent of Paul and Orbert and some of the other dudes who are about twice my age I would have thought that joke would be put to bed by now.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: 0bsessions on 20 Apr 2009, 21:43: Quote from: Jimmy the Squid on 20 Apr 2009, 21:30
Yeah but with your current run of luck, chances are that this girl will end up being a figment of some fat guy in Iowa's imagination.

(http://www.yuzsekiz.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/02/s2e18_hurley_dave_picture.jpg)?
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Liz on 20 Apr 2009, 21:44: Quote from: KvP on 20 Apr 2009, 21:15
Guys, being the epitome of twee that I am, I am not sexually frustrated. Rather, I am intimately frustrated. Oh, how I dream of one day finding a nice girl, with whom I will passionately exchange promise rings with, and pledge best friendship 4eva. We'll listen to Stars, and I will eat a sweet candy I enjoyed as a child while we gingerly hold hands. Ring-pops, maybe. Or pop rocks.

Guys it's so great I don't ever want to grow up whoopee is gross let's listen to Sufjan Stevens

John I can totally be that girl. I want some Ring Pops, dude.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: KvP on 20 Apr 2009, 21:58: Oh there will be ring pops.

hella ring pops.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: thelightguy on 20 Apr 2009, 22:22: Oh hi there, I guess this is my thread. I could open by talking about my hot redheaded roommate who may or may not be interested in me (girls are confusing, mmkay,) but I really don't want there to be anything between us... as it would most likely end in drama, not to mention strain relations between me and one of my friends and co-workers who happens to be her ex-boyfriend.

So instead I will talk about my ex-girlfriend from high school who called me up two days ago because she needed someone to talk to after she broke up with her abusive boyfriend. Unfortunately, she's three states away so I'm not going anywhere with that lead either, because I don't own a car and wouldn't drive 350 miles for sex anyway. Free beer, perhaps, but not sex. Plus, abusive ex-boyfriends scare me.

Does that make me gay?
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Liz on 20 Apr 2009, 22:58: Quote from: KvP on 20 Apr 2009, 21:58
Oh there will be ring pops.

hella ring pops.

<3
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: est on 20 Apr 2009, 23:15: Quote from: thelightguy on 20 Apr 2009, 22:22
So instead I will talk about my ex-girlfriend from high school who called me up two days ago because she needed someone to talk to after she broke up with her abusive boyfriend. Unfortunately, she's three states away so I'm not going anywhere with that lead either, because I don't own a car and wouldn't drive 350 miles for sex anyway. Free beer, perhaps, but not sex. Plus, abusive ex-boyfriends scare me.

Does that make me gay?

I realise I don't know much about the situation, but from here it looks like you're expressing regret over not being around to capitalise on your ex-girlfriend's current fragile emotional state by having sex with her. You probably should be worried about people thinking you are gay.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: thelightguy on 20 Apr 2009, 23:40: That's what I thought, I suppose I should instead capitalize on my ex's fragile emotional state by driving long distances to have sex with her in a short fling that both she and I would later regret, instead of being regarded by the internet as possibly being gay... abusive ex-boyfriend phobia notwithstanding.

E: grammar is a bitch

vv Fabulous.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: look out! Ninjas! on 20 Apr 2009, 23:44: Quote from: thelightguy on 20 Apr 2009, 22:22
Does that make me gay?
Probably.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: est on 20 Apr 2009, 23:50: I only just noticed that my fucking laptop keyboard conveniently left the "n't" off "shouldn't", and it completely changed the entire fucking point of my post. ither that or it was the best typo evar. Awesome.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: SilentJ on 20 Apr 2009, 23:52: Quote from: Ballard on 20 Apr 2009, 20:27
Quote from: SilentJ on 20 Apr 2009, 20:12
that tends to be how these things work

you've never had sex and it's not a big deal, but then you get laid and your body's just like "holy SHIT that was amazing! want want want want" and you just want to choke something

To reuse a punchline, sex is just like Pringles. Once you pop, you just can't stop!

except pringles come with a resealable lid. also they taste like shit.

depending on how you look at it, this strengthens the comparison!
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: thelightguy on 20 Apr 2009, 23:53: I can't speak for everyone, but I am definitely in favor of your typo, please do that more often.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Jace on 21 Apr 2009, 00:15: Quote from: Patrick on 20 Apr 2009, 12:13
Alaska is the greatest place on earth because that kind of thing is allowed. It is also the shittiest place because it is nowhere fucking near here.

Also, Alaska has like 3 months of night at a time and that fucks up the human body, so it's curious why people would even live there.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: StaedlerMars on 21 Apr 2009, 01:12: Quote from: SilentJ on 20 Apr 2009, 23:52
except pringles come with a resealable lid. also they taste like shit.

Oh man, you are so wrong.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: BeoPuppy on 21 Apr 2009, 02:32: With such a reasonable and normal age of consent one wonders why America doesn't view Alaska as the holiday state. but then again, Iceland has an age of consent of 14 and tourism isn't a big industry there either ...
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: snalin on 21 Apr 2009, 02:44: You don't want to go somewhere cold to get naked. This is obvious.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: McTaggart on 21 Apr 2009, 02:49: This thread has taken a turn for the unsettling.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: BeoPuppy on 21 Apr 2009, 03:05: Quote from: snalin on 21 Apr 2009, 02:44
You don't want to go somewhere cold to get naked. This is obvious.

Are you aware of the concept of blankets?
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: est on 21 Apr 2009, 03:23: Yeah, my Creepometer just exploded. Can people possibly stop talking about having sex with minors as if it's a desirable thing?

Ta
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Dollface on 21 Apr 2009, 03:30: I only have anal sex, why? well when you are hammered and get laid it doesnt matter if its gal or dude everyone have asshole.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: snalin on 21 Apr 2009, 03:37: Quote from: BeoPuppy on 21 Apr 2009, 03:05
Quote from: snalin on 21 Apr 2009, 02:44
You don't want to go somewhere cold to get naked. This is obvious.

Are you aware of the concept of blankets?

Not sexy, man.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: BeoPuppy on 21 Apr 2009, 03:49: Considerig that this is a thread for people who currently have no sex I hardly think the blankets will be a big turn off.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Jace on 21 Apr 2009, 03:59: I was reading this thread while furiously masturbating and as soon as I saw blankets, my boner died.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Josefbugman on 21 Apr 2009, 06:05: Quote from: Ballard on 20 Apr 2009, 16:34
what?

dude, relax, stop thinking so much. the worst thing you can do when it comes to sex (this doesn't include having safe sex/being considerate of people's feelings, all that other fun stuff that any normal human being should keep in mind, just sex itself) is think that much.

I am afriad thats sort of my "thing", eccentricity, hard work and a tendency to be over analytical are basically the main parts of my personality.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Jace on 21 Apr 2009, 06:17: Josef, stop it. Those can be the main parts of your personality, but, stop it. Life gets easier when you stop overthinking things. So... stop it.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Slick on 21 Apr 2009, 06:24: Quote from: est on 20 Apr 2009, 23:15
Quote from: thelightguy on 20 Apr 2009, 22:22
Unfortunately, she's three states away so I'm not going anywhere with that lead either
but from here it looks like you're expressing regret over not being around to capitalise on your ex-girlfriend's current fragile emotional state by having sex with her

Yeah this kind of did make you sound like an awful human being dude.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Gilead on 21 Apr 2009, 06:29: Seriously Josef you sound like a friggin' vulcan.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: benji on 21 Apr 2009, 08:00: Even Vulcans were supposed to stop being rational when they were in heat. Sex is instinctual and, at its best, emotional. Being a rational person is great, but contacting your instincts and emotions is going to be important in relationships.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: valley_parade on 21 Apr 2009, 08:05: Quote from: KvP on 20 Apr 2009, 21:15
Guys, being the epitome of twee that I am, I am not sexually frustrated. Rather, I am intimately frustrated. Oh, how I dream of one day finding a nice girl, with whom I will passionately exchange promise rings with, and pledge best friendship 4eva. We'll listen to Stars, and I will eat a sweet candy I enjoyed as a child while we gingerly hold hands. Ring-pops, maybe. Or pop rocks.

Guys it's so great I don't ever want to grow up whoopee is gross let's listen to Sufjan Stevens

John, if you were a lady, I think I would want to date you.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: WriterofAllWrongs on 21 Apr 2009, 08:12: Quote from: benji on 21 Apr 2009, 08:00
Even Vulcans were supposed to stop being rational when they were in heat. Sex is instinctual and, at its best, emotional. Being a rational person is great, but contacting your instincts and emotions is going to be important in relationships.

Yeah, there's a reason that most advice that I've seen given to people seeking relationships is somewhere along the lines of "Just do it, and don't make an ass of yourself." It's a really intuitive, emotional sort of thing. Forethought and feeling things through are both needed, but if you stray too far into one polarity it can get you into hot water.

Also, I find it interesting that people only paid attention to the post in which it could be insinuated that after sex I was just more horny. You people are sick fuckers.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Ballard on 21 Apr 2009, 08:19: Quote from: Josefbugman on 21 Apr 2009, 06:05
I am afriad thats sort of my "thing", eccentricity, hard work and a tendency to be over analytical are basically the main parts of my personality.

Everyone has insecurities; everyone overthinks everything at times. The sooner you acknowledge that it is normal, and not "your eccentricity" the sooner you can keep it to a bare minimum.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Josefbugman on 21 Apr 2009, 09:19: wow, I didn't expect to create this amount of concern/interest.

I don't generally get rommantic feelings towards anyone, I mean I like people, but I will always want to be friends and get to know someone properly before trying a relationship, even if it is just going to be fucking like rabbits. I can't really do that with the people I know and the somewhat, well "loud" is the most polite way of putting it, girls you tend to encounter in clubs. Also I meant that overthinking is one of the main things that I do, I know everyone else does it it just seems that I do it more than others. I know I probably prefer over thinking things to not thinking things through at all.

I like the idea of being "intimately" frustrated.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Tyler on 21 Apr 2009, 12:26: Guys, I like to kiss girls but sometimes they don't want to kiss me back occasionally.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Cartilage Head on 21 Apr 2009, 12:32: Where the hell was this thread when I was single?
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Alex C on 21 Apr 2009, 13:11: I'm not sexually frustrated, but right now I'm kinda frustrated by sex and the things it brings up with some people. For example, I'm dating this really nice girl but she doesn't really go for the whole sex before marriage deal. We've fooled around some, with her initiating but have never actually gone all the way, which I'm fine with, but she still seems to feel kinda embarrassed/guilty about the whole set up anyway. Is it just feeling kinda guilty over wanting to have sex? Does she not want to even go as far as we're going but feels expected to? Guilt over going as far as we have? Bad experiences with sex in prior relationships? No idea. I really need to nail her down and get her to talk about it. She's not fleeing my place like it's a crime scene or something afterwards, but there's definitely a vibe going that I don't really like.

Tldr version: Alex needs to quit dating hot but sexually conflicted Catholic girls.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Ballard on 21 Apr 2009, 13:53: Quote from: Alex C on 21 Apr 2009, 13:11
I really need to nail her down and get her to talk about it.

Questionable choice of words.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: TheFuriousWombat on 21 Apr 2009, 13:57: Quote from: Jimmy the Squid on 20 Apr 2009, 20:21

Also it's not paedophilia unless one person is over 16 and the other person is under 13. Just sayin'.

I know this happened a while ago but, um, you're wrong. The definition of pedophilia is geographically determined and predicated upon age of consent laws which vary by country and, in some cases, even by state. There isn't one overarching term that defines pedophilia and determines who is and isn't a pedophile. It's a legal manner and so, while your definition may apply in some places, it is not really a definition of the term in the traditional sense of the word.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: the_pied_piper on 21 Apr 2009, 14:09: Ah no, please, not this again.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Dollface on 21 Apr 2009, 14:12: heck i could use some action right now you know good old fashioned s&m and i dont mean fuzzy handcuffs and cuddling.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Patrick on 21 Apr 2009, 14:13: You know, the Kosovars on the show have a word for this. The word is s'paqia (SPA-chee-a). I think this word should be injected into English because "sexual frustration" is too much goddamn work to type and to say.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: the_pied_piper on 21 Apr 2009, 14:31: Jens, i am not arguing, just pointing out that this argument has been acted out many times already.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: the_pied_piper on 21 Apr 2009, 14:43: Bring it ON. We've repelled the Vikings before and i'm sure we can do it again.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Metope on 21 Apr 2009, 14:54: You didn't repel us, there is just nothing left of value so we didn't bother any longer.

Edit: Oh my god I posted in the sexually frustrated thread and I was not supposed to that, I was just reading through and forgot what thread I was reading. Please pretend I didn't post here, thank you.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: snalin on 21 Apr 2009, 14:58: Nono, the native English repelled the Vikings from the north-east, but were then pwned by the Normans, descendent from Danish Vikings. Your grand^25parents didn't repel Vikings, they were Vikings, just a bit more civilised.

What I'm trying to say is that we are all one big family who should love and care for each other, since we share our violent background.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: snalin on 21 Apr 2009, 14:59: Oh, btw, I'm totally sexually frustrated, and I haven't even done it. I wonder how goddamned frustrated I'll be when I know what it's like. :|
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Alex C on 21 Apr 2009, 15:13: Quote from: Ballard on 21 Apr 2009, 13:53
Questionable choice of words.

Fair point. She really is tough to talk to about some subjects though, unfortunately.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Patrick on 21 Apr 2009, 15:14: Quote from: Metope on 21 Apr 2009, 14:54
Oh my god I posted in the sexually frustrated thread and I was not supposed to that

I want to write something completely disgusting just because I know it would make Jens really uncomfortable
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Metope on 21 Apr 2009, 15:18: Quote from: Patrick on 21 Apr 2009, 15:14
Quote from: Metope on 21 Apr 2009, 14:54
Oh my god I posted in the sexually frustrated thread and I was not supposed to that

I want to write something completely disgusting just because I know it would make Jens really uncomfortable

For that reason, go right ahead.

For other reasons, :x
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Skibas_clavicle on 21 Apr 2009, 17:37: On a rather unrelated note, can anyone tell me why the hell I'm turned on by Sonic Youth's album Goo?
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: MrBlu on 21 Apr 2009, 17:40: Quote from: Skibas_clavicle on 21 Apr 2009, 17:37
I'm turned on by Sonic Youth
Me too.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Siibillam-Law on 21 Apr 2009, 18:08: Quote from: Skibas_clavicle on 21 Apr 2009, 17:37
I'm turned on by Sonic ~~Youth~~

Yeah, me too
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: SirJuggles on 21 Apr 2009, 19:02: Quote from: Skibas_clavicle on 21 Apr 2009, 17:37
Goo

Do I need to make the obvious joke here?
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: est on 21 Apr 2009, 20:02: You already did.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Professor Snuggles on 21 Apr 2009, 20:26: Desperate ain't lonely.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Johnny C on 21 Apr 2009, 20:34: Quote from: Skibas_clavicle on 21 Apr 2009, 17:37
On a rather unrelated note, can anyone tell me why the hell I'm turned on by Sonic Youth's album Goo?

IT'S JUST NOISE
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: WriterofAllWrongs on 21 Apr 2009, 20:54: Quote from: Skibas_clavicle on 21 Apr 2009, 17:37
On a rather unrelated note, can anyone tell me why the hell I'm turned on by Sonic Youth's album Goo?

Because Kim Gordon sounds like a Gorilla with a Lobotomy on Kool Thing and you are into that sort of thing yes yes?
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Gilead on 21 Apr 2009, 21:41: Quote from: WriterofAllWrongs on 21 Apr 2009, 20:54
Quote from: Skibas_clavicle on 21 Apr 2009, 17:37
On a rather unrelated note, can anyone tell me why the hell I'm turned on by Sonic Youth's album Goo?

Because Kim Gordon sounds like a Gorilla with a Lobotomy on Kool Thing and you are into that sort of thing yes yes?

Kim gordon sounds like the most beautiful oral sex in a moodily lit bathroom in a club only the coolest people know about on kool thing you subhuman monster. (http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b171/CatFishEnFuego/buhsa7.gif)
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Alex C on 21 Apr 2009, 22:16: I never really liked Sonic Youth.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: MadassAlex on 21 Apr 2009, 22:37: I can see how people love them when I consider the matter intellectually, but I must agree.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Covetous on 22 Apr 2009, 00:10: Sexually frustrated is being turned on by/when writing C (the programming language ofc.).
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Patrick on 22 Apr 2009, 05:53: Sexually frustrated is what happens when you start thinking of Nicholas Sparks novels as romantic.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Lines on 22 Apr 2009, 06:11: I am a few pages too late, but I want a ring pop. :-(
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Dollface on 22 Apr 2009, 06:49: I would be evil if i do this.

Quote from: Linds on 22 Apr 2009, 06:11
I am a few pages too late, but I want a ring ~~pop~~ job. :-(

I so glad that i didnt do that that would made me a horrible horrible person and it would show poor sense of humor.

Edit: how the hell two missing letters can change whole meaning of that sentence.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Lines on 22 Apr 2009, 06:52: Yeah, that was gross! Thank you for posting!
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Jimmy the Squid on 22 Apr 2009, 07:08: Is five pages in too late to bring up the fact that I'm more than a little sexually frustrated myself?
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: 0bsessions on 22 Apr 2009, 07:16: Yes, Jimmy, you missed your window.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Jimmy the Squid on 22 Apr 2009, 07:18: Well fuck me.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Covetous on 22 Apr 2009, 07:45: You would like that, wouldn't you?
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Jimmy the Squid on 22 Apr 2009, 08:04: That depends on your sexual organs and what you look like.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: WriterofAllWrongs on 22 Apr 2009, 08:13: Quote from: Gilead on 21 Apr 2009, 21:41
Kim gordon sounds like the most beautiful oral sex in a moodily lit bathroom in a club only the coolest people know about on kool thing you subhuman monster.

She is adorable, but her voice is a basically a bowl of moldy grits in a cafeteria in the slummiest of Mississippi public schools.

FIGHT. YOU.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Skibas_clavicle on 22 Apr 2009, 10:08: I don't even like Sonic Youth that much. But I would have to agree with the dude that said her voice sounds like the equivalent of moldy grits from a scummy public school. Although, I have to give you props for that kind of analogy.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: mbb on 22 Apr 2009, 16:41: Hi, thread. I'm sexually frustrated. I'm in a relationship with someone who doesn't like to brush their teeth much (I cringe kissing him sometimes :| ), who would rather do warcraft arenas than have sex with me...who I'm basically stuck with.
And he's home almost all the time, leaving me precious few moments for masturbation.
And he's kind of bad at foreplay...you'd think it pretty damn easy to use a vibrator on someone, at the very least?
My major motivation for living together was so we could have sex anytime we wanted to. I know, it's a terrible reason. I've learned my lesson.

Also:
Quote from: Drill King on 20 Apr 2009, 11:17
I am going to move away from where I live to somewhere that I have more sensible prospects and boys don't think my skinny jeans are weird.
(Yessss solutions!)

Who the hell thinks skinny jeans are weird? I just wish I had the body type to pull them off (I pretty much have to stick to straight-leg or bootleg cuts)
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Avec on 22 Apr 2009, 16:49: Being completely open about your sexual life on the internet can be devastating.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Josefbugman on 22 Apr 2009, 16:54: Your not stuck with someone unless you really REALLY want to be.

Also, whats the correct... I thing the word "etiquette" is the most appropriate, around using a vibrator on a lady? I always found them rather strange myself.

Not really, the internet isn't going to phone up your friends and laugh about you.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: mbb on 22 Apr 2009, 16:58: It's true. Also...You don't know the details of the situation. Trust me, I'm pretty much stuck for now. (till about August)

And vibrators are super easy to use. The key is to pretty much let the vibe do the work for you, to a certain extent.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Scandanavian War Machine on 22 Apr 2009, 16:59: Quote from: Josefbugman on 22 Apr 2009, 16:54
the internet isn't going to phone up your friends and laugh about you.

they're saving that for Web 3.0
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Josefbugman on 22 Apr 2009, 17:04: See thats the thing, vibrators and things of that ilk are just a bit odd for my tastes, but no doubt I will find out more about this.

Also, quick question but am I the only one who finds ann summers shops a little... creepy, its like "boil in the bag perversity, just add middle class feelings of daring", the shops themselves are generally about as warm and sensual as a thrown knife and the whole place seems to stink of nothing more than the banal dressed up in enough frills to try and make itself seem slutty.

Also, if that does happen on web 3.0 I am going to train falcons to deliver messages instead.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Coward on 22 Apr 2009, 17:16: Quote from: Josefbugman on 22 Apr 2009, 17:04

Also, quick question but am I the only one who finds ann summers shops a little... creepy, its like "boil in the bag perversity, just add middle class feelings of daring", the shops themselves are generally about as warm and sensual as a thrown knife and the whole place seems to stink of nothing more than the banal dressed up in enough frills to try and make itself seem slutty.

Rumour has it that Andy MacNab owns part of the Ann Summers franchise. Maybe that explains it.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Josefbugman on 22 Apr 2009, 17:18: Its a quote stolen from Prachett, but it serves my purposes, and I stick by it.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: JD on 22 Apr 2009, 17:24: Quote from: mbb on 22 Apr 2009, 16:41
I'm in a relationship with someone who doesn't like to brush their teeth much (I cringe kissing him sometimes :| )

Start chewing mint gum a lot and spit it in his mouth when you kiss.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Ballard on 22 Apr 2009, 18:05: Conversely, demand he brush his teeth. What the fuck kind of guy will kiss you without brushing regularly?
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: mbb on 22 Apr 2009, 18:28: I tried that. It led to lying about brushing his teeth. (Okay, at this point this should probably be in the relationship thread but, oh well) Like, last night. I get done bathing and go floss and see him lying down. "Going to come brush?" "Oh, I did while you were in the shower" "Oh, okay." I then notice his toothbrush, which is bone dry. I've been trying to get him to brush for the six months we've lived together and it's done me little good. Apparently I'm not supposed to say anything because he's never had a cavity and I have? Kissing is permanently closed mouth now.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: 0bsessions on 22 Apr 2009, 18:29: Quote from: Ballard on 22 Apr 2009, 18:05
What the fuck kind of guy will kiss you without brushing regularly?

Khar.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Slick on 22 Apr 2009, 18:35: Quote from: mbb on 22 Apr 2009, 18:28
Kissing is permanently closed mouth now.

Wait wait wait you can do that closed mouth? Oh crap I guess I am just a sloppy fuck when it comes to kissing.

Quote from: mbb on 22 Apr 2009, 18:28
Okay, at this point this should probably be in the relationship thread
Yeah.
Like, not 'yeah, get your stupid whiny ass into the relationship thread' but 'yeah uh that sounds a little bit fucked up what is up with that huh?'.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Gilead on 22 Apr 2009, 18:39: Dump him duh, jesus christ.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Liz on 22 Apr 2009, 18:40: Quote from: Slick on 22 Apr 2009, 18:35
Wait wait wait you can do that closed mouth? Oh crap I guess I am just a sloppy fuck when it comes to kissing.

Awww, you're not that bad. Give yourself some credit!
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Slick on 22 Apr 2009, 18:45: I wasn't saying I'm bad just saying actually I am not going to talk about how I makeout that is kind of weird.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Ozymandias on 22 Apr 2009, 18:54: Quote from: Gilead on 22 Apr 2009, 18:39
Dump him duh, jesus christ.

I think if she could, this conversation would not exist.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: KvP on 22 Apr 2009, 19:18: Quote from: mbb on 22 Apr 2009, 18:28
I tried that. It led to lying about brushing his teeth. (Okay, at this point this should probably be in the relationship thread but, oh well) Like, last night. I get done bathing and go floss and see him lying down. "Going to come brush?" "Oh, I did while you were in the shower" "Oh, okay." I then notice his toothbrush, which is bone dry. I've been trying to get him to brush for the six months we've lived together and it's done me little good. Apparently I'm not supposed to say anything because he's never had a cavity and I have? Kissing is permanently closed mouth now.
Is this guy 9 years old? That is an extremely lazy lie. If you've made it clear that this is an issue for you and he is not committed to taking 30 seconds of his fucking day (just once a day!) to clean out his mouth for you if not for himself then he is willfully defying you and being a gross douchebag and fuck him you should dump him because it sounds like this really bothers you. Find a way out at the first opportunity and then you give him notice and leave him even if he panics and does what you want him to do. Ending a relationship shouldn't be a card that you have to play to be respected.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: bainidhe_dub on 22 Apr 2009, 19:32: dear husband. just because we are both at home at the same time, it does not mean that we need to have sex. thank you for listening the first time i say this, and not getting grumpy at this news. love your wife.

please don't throw things for 'doin it wrong' - i am not just frustrated, i'm kinda pissed!
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: KickThatBathProf on 22 Apr 2009, 19:48: A different kind of sexual frustion, but sexual frustation nonetheless
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: 0bsessions on 22 Apr 2009, 20:44: Man, that last one's happened from both sides of my relationship.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: mbb on 22 Apr 2009, 21:11: WoW is a pretty big source of my sexual frustration. I like having lots of sex...but as soon as I hear his WoW-talk on vent (particularly when he says someone just got "raped!" by the boss) it just...kills it. Add that to the amount of time spent playing it...yeah...
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Drill King on 22 Apr 2009, 21:28: Yeah this happened with me and my ex, I would crawl into his lap and kiss his neck and he would a: push me off b: try and see past me to the screen so he didn't die

priorities
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Cartilage Head on 22 Apr 2009, 21:43: Maybe you should become more sexually appealing.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: KvP on 22 Apr 2009, 21:52: I have already advised Andy to be less tall but she seems pretty intent on staying the way she is.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Metope on 22 Apr 2009, 22:08: Hey, Andy's height is the best height what are you talking about John.

(Andy's height is also my height)
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: axerton on 22 Apr 2009, 22:32: Why is it that if a guy started coming onto his girlfrined when she's in the middle of something he gets shot down but if the girl makes the move he has to drop everything - just because the sterotypical guy is up for sex any time doesn't mean real guys are.

That being said, WoW is never a good enough excuse.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: axerton on 22 Apr 2009, 23:11: ...well I guess I posted in the sexually frustrated thread despite all intentions not to. I'm thinking this is somehow poetic
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Gilead on 22 Apr 2009, 23:38: Andy it is because of your disturbing resemblance to a murloc.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Slick on 23 Apr 2009, 01:01: Man I am so not sexually frustrated I am loving it. Like, I am not getting any, that is 'sexually satisfied' or wahtever you want to say; I have just been drinking at our favorite bar where we haven't been in a while and here I am home and a gorgeous lady is sleeping on my sofa and I am not thinking 'hey man maybe I should go sleep in the living room on the floor and try and chat or something' or 'hey maybe she'd be happier in my bed there is room for two you know it wouldn't have to be like that' or 'man makeouts hurrrrrr' I am just totally ok with the state of nothingness that is happening right now and it is good.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Slick on 23 Apr 2009, 01:02: fuck you everyone who is frustrated!
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Johnny C on 23 Apr 2009, 01:15: i just bought skate 2 and i'm doin alright
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Josefbugman on 23 Apr 2009, 01:39: what does skate 2 have to do with anything?

Also, if a girl crawled into my lap and started making it clear she was attracted I would feign disconnection in a heartbeat, but that might be because I only play WoW for the lore anyway.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: SirJuggles on 23 Apr 2009, 02:22: Quote from: Josefbugman on 23 Apr 2009, 01:39
I only read it for the articles
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: MadassAlex on 23 Apr 2009, 03:53: Quote from: SirJuggles on 23 Apr 2009, 02:22
Quote from: Josefbugman on 23 Apr 2009, 01:39
I only listen to it for the sounds
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Josefbugman on 23 Apr 2009, 05:39: Har de har. Its true though, think what you will.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Spluff on 23 Apr 2009, 05:44: Nobody should be getting in the way of a man and his game. Nobody.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: MadassAlex on 23 Apr 2009, 05:58: Just kidding.

The Warcraft lore is rather uninteresting.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: WriterofAllWrongs on 23 Apr 2009, 08:58: Quote from: MadassAlex on 23 Apr 2009, 05:58
World of Warcraft is rather uninteresting.

fixed for you!
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: MadassAlex on 23 Apr 2009, 09:15: Nah.

Just another setting wherein one's race is the primary indicator of one's skills, preferences and other such things. Utterly used up and boring.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: valley_parade on 23 Apr 2009, 09:18: One of my best friends said she had a dream last night that I made a pass at her.

I can't even get any in OTHER peoples' dreams, for fuck's sake.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Lines on 23 Apr 2009, 17:32: The other night, I dreamt I got it on with a lady. Just sayin, dreams are dreams.

Quote from: KvP on 22 Apr 2009, 21:52
I have already advised Andy to be less tall but she seems pretty intent on staying the way she is.

I am taller than Andy. :c
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: look out! Ninjas! on 23 Apr 2009, 18:27: Quote from: Linds on 23 Apr 2009, 17:32
Quote from: KvP on 22 Apr 2009, 21:52
I have already advised Andy to be less tall but she seems pretty intent on staying the way she is.
I am taller than Andy. :c
We'll get to you when we're good and ready, you tall person you.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Patrick on 23 Apr 2009, 23:15: Being sexually frustrated is making me into a truly terrible person. Like, truly terrible.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Slick on 23 Apr 2009, 23:20: Patrick dump the bitch and get on with your life.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Jimmy the Squid on 24 Apr 2009, 06:25: Quote from: TheFuriousWombat on 21 Apr 2009, 13:57
Quote from: Jimmy the Squid on 20 Apr 2009, 20:21

Also it's not paedophilia unless one person is over 16 and the other person is under 13. Just sayin'.

I know this happened a while ago but, um, you're wrong. The definition of pedophilia is geographically determined and predicated upon age of consent laws which vary by country and, in some cases, even by state. There isn't one overarching term that defines pedophilia and determines who is and isn't a pedophile. It's a legal manner and so, while your definition may apply in some places, it is not really a definition of the term in the traditional sense of the word.

Ok so this was several pages ago but I feel I should just reply to this quickly.

I am not wrong. I'm defining paedophilia in terms of its status as a sexual disorder and completely removed from its illegality. The definition I provided is in line with the APA (both American and Australian) and while yes, some countries have ages of consent as low as 9, I'm limiting my comments to western societies with western mental health ideals. This is because I feel they are the most sensible. Sure other cultures have different opinions on what is and isn't paedophilia or statutory rape (which, given the context, is what I think Furious Wombat is talking about) but some other cultures also don't consider it illegal or at all immoral for a husband to rape his wife. I'm happy to take this one from a western point of view honestly.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: snalin on 24 Apr 2009, 09:37: This is why we have discuss, folks. DAMMIT!

Hey, thread, nothing has changed. We have all come to the conclusion that we are sexually frustrated, any tips on how to actually change this? (wanking and/or sexing is not good enough answers, you have to be more specific)
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Alex C on 24 Apr 2009, 10:03: I'm not sexually frustrated, I was just frustrated by a lady who is apparently sexually frustrated. I say "was" because I decided to break things off in favor of being single and attending my uncle's upcoming wedding with an awesome female friend of the family rather than play therapist or have to fend off my grandmother, a woman who has with only one exception been incredibly rude to every woman I have ever dated.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Jace on 24 Apr 2009, 10:51: Hey sexually frustrated thread,
After this morning I'm not going to need you anymore. Out of all the guys at work trying to hang out with and go on dates with this other girl at work. It was me that she went with. Aww yeah, Jace, you are the man.
She kept mentioning how smooth I was at getting her into more and more compromising situations and less and less clothes. Sure we didn't have sex, but she basically told me that she'd be coming back for more.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Christophe on 24 Apr 2009, 11:35: Vanilla girl?
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Jace on 24 Apr 2009, 16:42: Vanilla girl. My shirt and pillow smelled like vanilla after I got home. I think that is hilarious.
Also, The Arcade Fire station on Pandora was some freakin great makeout music.

(I know I said I wouldn't need to post in here again, and I guess I really don't, but I am replying to Christopher.)
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Lummer on 24 Apr 2009, 16:58: I ain't getting much these days. That sucks!
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Lunchbox on 24 Apr 2009, 17:09: A little over ten weeks till he gets back.
Slowly. Going. Mad.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Ballard on 24 Apr 2009, 20:32: An old flame got in touch with me last night and all but scheduled a booty call for this coming Tuesday. We'll see how that goes.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: look out! Ninjas! on 24 Apr 2009, 20:34: Lunchy, the trick is to go mad quickly so you can enjoy being mad for longer. Like, if it takes you five weeks to finally crack and go insane then you've only got five weeks of being insane.

In other news, hey thread. How you goin'?
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: calenlass on 24 Apr 2009, 23:48: Lunchy come to me and I will make you happy. Do you like kinky? My boyfriend does not, really. It is getting a little disappointing, actually. So if you would like to come and fill that quota I promise to make you the happiest laydee you know.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Lunchbox on 25 Apr 2009, 00:31: My darling Katie. That would be lovely, however I am in a little bit of debt and have enough fun making my budget stretch all week after buying important things like winter coats so I do not die of cold. If you could come to me I would be all for it though!
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: calenlass on 25 Apr 2009, 00:51: Well, I am pretty sure that I can stretch my budget, but my work schedule on the other hand... who will work all their double shifts if not me?
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Lummer on 25 Apr 2009, 02:30: Incidentally, I have gotten no action at all, since I switched my beard over to the Lemmy.. Hmm.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Tom on 25 Apr 2009, 03:23: There's this guy I'm kinda hot for who wants to just hang out with me. I just keep finding some excuse to blow him off because it's getting real awkward to be near him and not think about him naked.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: David_Dovey on 25 Apr 2009, 03:34: Quote from: Lummer on 25 Apr 2009, 02:30
Incidentally, I have gotten no action at all, since I switched my beard over to the Lemmy.. Hmm.

Unrelated. Lemmy gets pussy like nobody's business.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Lummer on 25 Apr 2009, 04:21: Maybe it's because my shameless pop-punk band is still only in the writing/rehearsing stage, and not the gigging stage yet.

The less said about my Death metal project in this context though, the better.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Ballard on 25 Apr 2009, 08:38: Quote from: David_Dovey on 25 Apr 2009, 03:34
Unrelated. Lemmy gets pussy like nobody's business.

Leaving none for the Lemmy imitators.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: kitschykat on 25 Apr 2009, 12:48: Speaking of Lemmy, my friend and I are so sexually frustrated that we started a female version of Boner Party. It's called Husband Material, although husband doesn't necessarily mean male. Lemmy was recently featured (http://nothusbandmaterial.blogspot.com/2009/04/youre-not-most-attractive-guy-in-rock.html)
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: snalin on 25 Apr 2009, 12:52: The George "Corpsegrinder" Fisher was gold. In fact, the whole blog was made of win and awesome!
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Siibillam-Law on 25 Apr 2009, 13:52: If all the people who weren't having sex were having sex with other people who weren't having sex then everything would be better
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Josefbugman on 25 Apr 2009, 14:05: True, but don't forget sex doesn't solve all problems... or any problems for that matter.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Alex C on 25 Apr 2009, 14:16: A lot of times it causes problems.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: WriterofAllWrongs on 25 Apr 2009, 14:40: Sex is getting better, but not by much! This is a thing that shouldn't be a thing but actually has turned out to be a thing!
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Puki on 25 Apr 2009, 15:30: Uhm, that is great!I guess...
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Professor Snuggles on 26 Apr 2009, 12:15: Quote from: Lunchbox on 24 Apr 2009, 17:09
A little over ten weeks till he gets back.
Slowly. Going. Mad.

you have two regular boys? One to fill the others shoes while he's away?

Scandal!
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Lunchbox on 27 Apr 2009, 00:25: Uh no. Just the one. He is away. I am undersexed, it is really quite sad. My boss keeps telling me I should slut around. My boss is a very horny man.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Ballard on 27 Apr 2009, 00:37: Correlation?
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Jace on 27 Apr 2009, 01:39: So I said I wouldn't need to post here anymore but I guess I was wrong. This girl is so busy that she cannot hang out with me after work or before work, so like, there's no time.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: est on 27 Apr 2009, 02:56: You probably shouldn't be using this thread to brag about maybe in future doing it with this on girl at work.

Hey thread, what up.

I mean uh, post
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Jace on 27 Apr 2009, 05:14: Does it make it worse that I posted it from work while she was standing next to me?
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: snalin on 27 Apr 2009, 05:24: Yes, totally. You get no sympathy if you post in the sexually frustrated thread instead of banging. That is just plain stupid.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Slick on 27 Apr 2009, 06:42: Yeah also braggin' bout sex is kind of tactless.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Jace on 27 Apr 2009, 08:17: But I'm not getting sex. Its like there is an opportunity, but it is behind a forcefield called TIME MANAGEMENT. And it is not me who has to break through this forcefield.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Professor Snuggles on 27 Apr 2009, 09:18: If she "doesn't have the time" it probably means she doesn't actually like/want to bone you, and was disappointed with your last encounter. Sorry, doggo!
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Lines on 27 Apr 2009, 10:00: Everyone has time for a quicky!
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Tyler on 27 Apr 2009, 10:00: Just not with Jace.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: WriterofAllWrongs on 27 Apr 2009, 11:10: I strongly suspect that Jace just wears that mask everywhere and tries to makes himself a good novelty fuck. Some people just don't want to fuck a Lusty Lucha.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: bbq on 27 Apr 2009, 14:52: Hey guys, I'm not getting laid right now. :-D

Then again, I am a minor, and it is by my own choosing to not get laid, so it's cool.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Inlander on 27 Apr 2009, 16:48: I think that would actually make you "sexually satisfied", in the sense that you are satisfied in your sexual ambition, which is to not get laid.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: squawk on 27 Apr 2009, 18:05: the girl of my fancy is getting a full-size bed soon nngggeeeehhhhhhhh
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Jace on 28 Apr 2009, 01:02: Quote from: Animal Ghosts on 27 Apr 2009, 09:18
If she "doesn't have the time" it probably means she doesn't actually like/want to bone you, and was disappointed with your last encounter. Sorry, doggo!

What if there was a point where she said "okay, we totally have to have sex" but she also is juggling going to school, raising children, and working full time?
What I am saying is that I disagree with your assessment.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: pen on 28 Apr 2009, 04:45: I work full time, have a child full time and live far from my boyfriend. I still have a pretty awesome sex life.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Patrick on 28 Apr 2009, 05:19: Thanks for posting!
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: pen on 28 Apr 2009, 05:24: I'm just saying that if the girl wanted it that badly, she'd make time.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Der Golem on 28 Apr 2009, 05:43: You can pull of sex without losing more than 15 minutes out of your day, but maybe she isn't a fan of that kind of sex. Or maybe she just doesn't want their first sex to be like that, that's not wierd or suspicious anything like that.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Jace on 28 Apr 2009, 06:17: Oh also, she doesn't really have anyone to watch her kids during the day other than her parents, who I guess really don't like her and hate watching her kids. So she can't just drop them off a couple hours early or late. She also gets out of class about the time I am leaving for work. So it makes things tough to coordinate.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Tyler on 28 Apr 2009, 06:33: This thread was kind of a joke thread that is now 12 pages long. I am pretty sure Hannah did not actually want a subset of a blog thread. Maybe we can just move this back into the blog thread as so we have one blog thread?
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Inlander on 28 Apr 2009, 06:58: Yes but you're forgetting that in the blog thread NOBODY WANTS TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR SEX LIFE.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: look out! Ninjas! on 28 Apr 2009, 07:29: Or the lack of, more specifically.

I don't come to this thread to read about people who are sexually content, because fuck those guys. I come here to feel better about myself because really, despite how much sex I'm not getting, at least I'm not complaining about it to the internet of all people.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Krina on 28 Apr 2009, 09:51: I have these really bizarre sex dreams which I usually share whith a number of friends, male and female. Usually, pretty fun and silly conversations spring from that. Since I moved abroad, I don't see my friends as much anymore and I thought I'd move it online and write a blog about my dreams. Hopefully, it will also bring me into contact with a number of interesting people (and by that I mean perverts' hopefully). Now this is not the sort of thing I'd want my future boss or my grandmother to read and assossiate with me. (No joke - my granny is a real danger here, she turned 80 but writes e-mails all the time and shops online and reads the blogs of my cousins and my brother.) So how and where do I open an e-mail account that can absolutely not be tracked back to me? If you tell me that, I'll share my most recent dream on here if you want!

(I'm not really sexually frustrated but I hope I can still play.)
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Puki on 28 Apr 2009, 09:54: Quote from: look out! Ninjas! on 28 Apr 2009, 07:29
fuck those guys.

I think that is the problem.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Sox on 28 Apr 2009, 09:58: I can't help but notice that many of you here are sexually frustrated. Well, I would like to offer a solution.
You see, I too am sexually frustrated. The problem is that whenever I attempt to do something about it, girls get really annoying. They'll want to talk about feelings and such like. They'll get clingy and want a relationship. And I'm just not that type of guy! I don't want to know about how other people feel, it's just not my thing. I care enough about how I feel, and thinking about myself uses up so much time that I just can't spare any to consider OTHER people. I can't risk girls falling completely and totally in love with me anymore unless there's at least one border between us, preferably an ocean.

Now, I know a lot of you here are modest, insecure and generally just really shy or intimidated. Many of you are afraid of getting out there and meeting people. Some of you have impossible standards or unrealistic expectations of what a gratifying relationship should be. Whatever the reason, it's clear that you're not getting any. And I have just the solution!

I have sold exactly all of my belongings, save for the things which make me look really cool and hip. If you can put me up for just one night, I can visit each and every single one of you in turn to help relieve you of this terrible terrible burden. I'm just that generous. This is ideal for you all, and for me. See, there's no attachment which is good for me, and I can pretend to be whoever you want me to be, which is good for you, as I'll be whatever type of guy you fantasize about meeting, if only for one night. I shall dress to impress and lie through my teeth for your pleasure. I promise I am of applaudible hygeine and will shave whatever you want me to shave. I have a variety of costumes that will enable me to be whatever type of guy you want to sleep with: Subversive businessman, double-hipster, african american, crocodile dundee, Admiral Nelson, you name it. Hell, if you can spot the cash, I'll even wear beastpaint.

For the price of a bed for the night and breakfast in the morning, you will receive:
Two weeks of build up over the net while I get into character in order to make the act more convincing
One day of sight seeing in your town.
One date with the guy of your dreams (sweet nothings will cost you extra)
One night of mindblowing sex while I use and abuse and otherwise degrade you in any way I see fit.

You have to understand that there's likely going to be a huge waiting list for this, so it'll take me a while to get through all of you, and you'll have to excuse me if I forget your name.

To apply, just post a picture of how attractive you are. Has to be a full body shot. I need to be able to filter out fatties and uggos.

Alternatively, send an email to [email protected] or just text PERFECT NIGHT to 011 22 NRC SST
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Christophe on 28 Apr 2009, 10:03: Dear Daz,

Please be mine:

(http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_0z9RemleNtE/SM6ONooyAdI/AAAAAAAAAX0/KsMj6KxwRC0/s320/Juggalette.jpg)
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Tyler on 28 Apr 2009, 10:07: Mr. Sox,

I have a really great personality and all of my friends tell me I am really easy to get along with. A lot of my female friends like talking to me about their problem and relationships and I offer advice. I am a quiet and good student, and tend to be up on all current cultural trends. However, I am kind of an uggo. Can we still fuck?
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Sox on 28 Apr 2009, 10:18: Quote from: Christophe on 28 Apr 2009, 10:03
Dear Daz,

Please be mine:

No.

Quote from: Tyler on 28 Apr 2009, 10:07
Mr. Sox,

I have a really great personality and all of my friends tell me I am really easy to get along with. A lot of my female friends like talking to me about their problem and relationships and I offer advice. I am a quiet and good student, and tend to be up on all current cultural trends. However, I am kind of an uggo. Can we still fuck?

No. Your personality is not important. what is important is how good I'll look having dinner with you. And I just don't think that people will be impressed by your personality. However, I will have the dinner and date with an attractive friend of yours, and spend the night on three conditions:

*You wear a mask. I will provide you with an image of my likeness for you to print onto a sheet of card.
*You'd better have a really amazing body.
*You tell no-one.

Quote from: Ptommydski on 28 Apr 2009, 10:07
Darryl - If I use your services, can I wear what I like?

I mean if I just want to wear jeans and a t-shirt can I do that?

No. If you wish to be seen with me in public, you MUST dress like me. No jeans and t-shirt, that's just not done.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Tyler on 28 Apr 2009, 10:32: You do not handle rejection well.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Lines on 28 Apr 2009, 13:18: Quote from: Inlander on 28 Apr 2009, 06:58
Yes but you're forgetting that in the blog thread NOBODY WANTS TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR SEX LIFE.

That's why there's a relationship thread, but that's looking kind of scary right now.

Darryl, I would break out the knee high stillettos and corsets for you. Or I would have had I actually owned those things.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Patrick on 28 Apr 2009, 13:59: Quote from: Sox on 28 Apr 2009, 09:58
just text PERFECT NIGHT to 011 22 NRC SST

You fucker I just wasted 25 lekë on a fake number
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Professor Snuggles on 28 Apr 2009, 21:57: Quote from: Tyler on 28 Apr 2009, 06:33
This thread was kind of a joke thread that is now 12 pages long. I am pretty sure Hannah did not actually want a subset of a blog thread. Maybe we can just move this back into the blog thread as so we have one blog thread?

Dude this whole forum is blog threads.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Ã¶de on 29 Apr 2009, 09:06: GET A BLOG

POST IN THE BLOG THREAD

POST A BLOG THREAD
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: calenlass on 29 Apr 2009, 13:28: Darryl we have hung out once are you saying that wasn't good enough
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Sox on 29 Apr 2009, 13:48: No.
Some time in a distant future, perhaps I'll have sorted out my multitude of problems and as such will be able to pay you a visit to:
[] Have fun
[] Beat you up
[] Ignore you
[] Cook possum
[] Turn more tricks than you

Please cross the relevant boxes.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: KvP on 29 Apr 2009, 13:51: Those boxes are too small. Let me fix them for you.
Quote from: Sox on 29 Apr 2009, 13:48
No.
Some time in a distant future, perhaps I'll have sorted out my multitude of problems and as such will be able to pay you a visit to:
[ ] Have fun
[ ] Beat you up
[ ] Ignore you
[ ] Cook possum
[ ] Turn more tricks than you

Please cross the relevant boxes.
There you go
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Inlander on 29 Apr 2009, 15:04: The boxes are small because his expectations are low.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Zingoleb on 29 Apr 2009, 19:13: Postity post no more need be said

Except...maybe...DAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMN
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Vern LaVey on 29 Apr 2009, 19:15: Yay! Caught it!
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Zingoleb on 29 Apr 2009, 19:21: We're not catching anything

The upside to sexual frustration
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Zingoleb on 29 Apr 2009, 19:40: No duh

Horses are way better, you don't have to crouch as much
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: SirJuggles on 29 Apr 2009, 20:01: ITT: What Has Been Seen (in the minds eye) Cannot Be Unseen
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Lines on 29 Apr 2009, 20:29: I once saw a video of a bull trying to rape a man and it was worse than pretty much this whole thread.

No really.

Shit, I should not have brought that up. My mind's eye is on fire now.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Zingoleb on 29 Apr 2009, 20:32: There is no Visine for your mind's eye

Only self inflicted frontal lobotomies using whatever sharp objects are nearby
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Slick on 29 Apr 2009, 20:55: ~~I hereby annex the first post of this page for the greater good and betterment of my people,~~

Your people have been invaded, their lands seized. - Inlander.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Slick on 29 Apr 2009, 21:04: Funny, that's what I said to your mother last night.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Slick on 29 Apr 2009, 21:04: Except, you know, I wasn't talking about people and lands and stuff.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Slick on 29 Apr 2009, 21:05: yeah, like that
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Inlander on 29 Apr 2009, 21:07: You cold-hearted bastard. You were in Australia and you didn't bother to get in touch? We coulda hung out!
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Slick on 29 Apr 2009, 21:32: Yeah I know. I went and baked cupcakes with Ally too and everything.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Slick on 29 Apr 2009, 21:32: There was a picnic too.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: calenlass on 30 Apr 2009, 00:38: I remember this one time Kieffer posted a video and got banned.

Heh.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Professor Snuggles on 30 Apr 2009, 01:12: Man, what HAVEN'T I been banned for.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Professor Snuggles on 30 Apr 2009, 01:13: I'm so silly!
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: calenlass on 30 Apr 2009, 01:15: tee hee!
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: snalin on 30 Apr 2009, 05:57: Quote from: Animal Ghosts on 30 Apr 2009, 01:12
Man, what HAVEN'T I been banned for.

Have you tried to make a thread where you offer drugs to girls 15 or younger if they show you some tit action?
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Darkbluerabbit on 30 Apr 2009, 11:50: Since no one else is doing it, I guess I will be that person.

Implying that you rape infants is a terrible joke and pretty much just not okay.

That is all.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Ozymandias on 30 Apr 2009, 11:51: I kept meaning to come in here and telling him to stop posting and go reconsider his life, but then I kept forgetting.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Stryc9Fuego on 30 Apr 2009, 13:35: Yeah after 2 and a half months of dry spell, I'm going to make the call that I am sexually frustrated. Let me go ahead and join the ranks of sad individuals who are going to eat an entire pint of Ben & Jerry's, masturbate to anything from Cinemax to a Shamwow advertisement to a rerun of The Golden Girls, then crawl into a gigantic empty bed that feels larger and more empty by the day and sob so hard they start convulsing.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Patrick on 30 Apr 2009, 15:05: I convinced my friend Labinot (using his full first name since Jens seems to have trouble not thinking that his name is 'Labia') that he should ask a girl out. He did right then and there in front of me, and he was successful.

The guy at the restaurant we were in at the time told Labinot that he should not leave his friends behind, and despite feeling like shit over things (see: blag thread), I did not disagree with him.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Inlander on 30 Apr 2009, 16:25: Quote from: Stryc9Fuego on 30 Apr 2009, 13:35
2 and a half months of dry spell

That is really not a very long time.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Sox on 30 Apr 2009, 16:35: two and a half months is nothing, I go that long between meals.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Scandanavian War Machine on 30 Apr 2009, 16:36: shit, i haven't so much as kissed in girl (let alone gotten laid) in years and you don't see me jerking off into my icecream or whatever it was you were talking about. that is just weird.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Sox on 30 Apr 2009, 16:38: I weigh 65lbs.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: StaedlerMars on 30 Apr 2009, 17:00: I read that as 2.5 minutes of dry spell.

I was momentarily baffled.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Vern LaVey on 30 Apr 2009, 19:41: I will admit however that this post might not have been the best place for my jokes. I apologize as I had been hanging around the "Really Bad Jokes" thread and let my humor carry over a bit. I apologize for the thread it was posted in, not for the type of humor, as , again, I find it funny.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Tyler on 30 Apr 2009, 20:06: Take it to PMs. If you are going to make possibly offensive jokes, they should at least be funny.

Work on the funny.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: BrittanyMarie on 30 Apr 2009, 21:22: This part of the forums is not equal to the comic part of the forums. And please don't get preachy about "well you don't have to read it; it's not offensive WELCOME TO THE INTERNET", that just shows that you haven't lurked enough yet.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Jace on 30 Apr 2009, 22:04: Until you have more than 1000 posts, you haven't lurked enough.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: McTaggart on 30 Apr 2009, 22:09: That is so not the best way to go about it. Rather go with until you have read maybe 10,000 posts you have not lurked enough.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: BrittanyMarie on 30 Apr 2009, 22:58: See, some people get it right away, and some won't ever get it. There's a culture to this part of the forum. It's like when there's all ages shows at my favorite venue and all the kids are really annoying because they block my route to the bathroom and I am like "FUCKING LEARN WHERE TO STAND" Most of the shows are 21 therefore there is always a path to the bathroom. "I have the right to stand here and it's your own fault that you don't like it", well I guess yeah that is true but it doesn't stop you from being a little fucker.

That is my terrible analogy of the night!
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Slick on 30 Apr 2009, 23:26: there is a young cowboy
lives on the range
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Slick on 30 Apr 2009, 23:27: his horse and his cattle are his only companions, works in the saddle and he sleeps in the canyons
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Slick on 30 Apr 2009, 23:27: waiting for summer, his pastures to change
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Slick on 30 Apr 2009, 23:28: and as the moon rises he sits by his fire thinking about women and glasses of beer closing his eyes as the doogies retire he sings out a song that is soft but it's clear
as if maybe someone could hear
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Inlander on 30 Apr 2009, 23:41: Wait, how can somebody lurk and accrue 1000 posts?
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: SirJuggles on 01 May 2009, 00:05: You're not allowed to date until you're married.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Jace on 01 May 2009, 00:40: Quote from: Inlander on 30 Apr 2009, 23:41
Wait, how can somebody lurk and accrue 1000 posts?

This was the joke.
I should maybe post things when I'm not trying to quickly go to work.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Nodaisho on 01 May 2009, 01:17: Goddammit, Slick. I have that song stuck in my head now. And just having it in my head is making me tired.

edit: Oh, this thread. Pretend I didn't post here, I'm good.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Dollface on 01 May 2009, 02:50: Did you know that when fox tries to kill hedgehog but its in that ball mode so fox will piss on the poor hegehog and that will undo that ball mode.

so here my thought:

does sonic and tails have some freaky thing going on? :?
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Stryc9Fuego on 01 May 2009, 04:55: You could always run a /34/ on Sonic and Tails if you hate yourself enough.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Cadeonehalf on 01 May 2009, 09:03: That's some pretty extreme self hate.

oh hi thread. What's up?
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: WriterofAllWrongs on 01 May 2009, 10:00: Quote from: Ptommydski on 01 May 2009, 02:05
Quote from: Inlander on 30 Apr 2009, 23:41
Wait, how can somebody lurk and accrue 1000 posts?

Make three or four completely vanilla posts every day for a year.

Lots of people have done it. I've had to do it on other forums. It's a painful but necessary process. Like a forum equivalent of paying your dues or a virtual apprenticeship.

Or you could just post vigorously in threads like "What are you listening to" or "The Blog Thread"
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: snalin on 01 May 2009, 10:03: Quote from: PantsFTW on 30 Apr 2009, 22:04
Until you have more than 1000 posts, you haven't lurked enough.

Oh, you... You did not go there.

:x
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: SilentJ on 01 May 2009, 10:12: Quote from: Vern LaVey on 01 May 2009, 02:06
My prior lurking is what caused me to recant and apologize in the 2nd post. I'm not sure how it worked for you guys but I'd read thousands of posts before I decided to actually sign up for the forum, to the point where, when I finally did, I was wondering what the hell took me so long. Don't make the mistake of thinking that the first time I posted was the first time I was ever here.

To stay on topic of this thread somewhat I could say that if I had signed up when I first started lurking I would have clocked over 50hrs online easily if it wasnt for all the sex I was getting that distracted me from finally filling out the form. I COULD say that, but then I would be lying about the sex part...

There's something you're not quite getting, though. This subforum is a really tight-knit group of people who know each other in meatlife, most of the time. I've been an active poster for like two years and I still have lurking to do. Even a high postcount doesn't mean anything here, it's all about how you conduct yourself. Basically a new poster making a bad joke is like the guy who crashes a party at eleven and is already wasted, but won't leave. Not saying you're a dick, just putting it in perspective.

Quote from: Dollface on 01 May 2009, 02:50
Did you know that when fox tries to kill hedgehog but its in that ball mode so fox will piss on the poor hegehog and that will undo that ball mode.

so here my thought:

does sonic and tails have some freaky thing going on? :?

The thread about you is not enough. Dude is a great poster, this is Fact.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Wasteroo on 01 May 2009, 10:40: boy, Sexual Frustration is like my favorite Brainiac track
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: WriterofAllWrongs on 01 May 2009, 10:52: And this is the sort of thing that makes me wish Wasteroo was around more often.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Patrick on 01 May 2009, 16:35: Quote from: Slick on 30 Apr 2009, 23:28
and as the moon rises he sits by his fire thinking about women and glasses of beer closing his eyes as the doogies retire he sings out a song that is soft but it's clear
as if maybe someone could hear

I did not know your last name was Taylor dude, holy fuckshits

On-topic: I am talking to a friend of a friend who I've only met a few times who recently decided she wanted to get to know me better. And when she said she played Gogol Bordello on her late-night college radio show, I was actually a little turned on.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Nodaisho on 01 May 2009, 16:55: The Questionable Content Forums: Giving you information about people's weird fetishes since 2004.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Wasteroo on 01 May 2009, 17:22: Why else would anyone come here?
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Patrick on 01 May 2009, 17:31: Quote from: Wasteroo on 01 May 2009, 17:22
Why else would anyone come here?

I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Wasteroo on 01 May 2009, 17:51: If that fortuitous page break doesn't make me a popular dude, nothing will.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Stryc9Fuego on 01 May 2009, 18:10: Let us know if that fortuitous page break gets you any play.

...just, you know... not in this thread.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Inlander on 01 May 2009, 19:45: Not in the blog thread, either. Because hey kids, what's the number-one rule in the blog thread?
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Christophe on 01 May 2009, 19:47: If I don't have s-s-s-s-sex by the end of the week I am g-g-going to DIE
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Nodaisho on 01 May 2009, 20:20: Quote from: Inlander on 01 May 2009, 19:45
Not in the blog thread, either. Because hey kids, what's the number-one rule in the blog thread?
You don't talk about the blog thread?
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Wasteroo on 01 May 2009, 20:23: I was thinkin' it, but man I have standards.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Zingoleb on 01 May 2009, 20:58: Quote from: Nodaisho on 01 May 2009, 16:55
The Questionable Content Forums: Giving you information about people's weird fetishes since 2004.

Where do I go to learn about the 'normal' fetishes?
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Inlander on 01 May 2009, 21:05: God you've all disappointed me so much. You're all cut out of my will!

Quote from: Inlander on 01 May 2009, 19:45
Because hey kids, what's the number-one rule in the blog thread?

NOBODY WANTS TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR SEX LIFE.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Lunchbox on 01 May 2009, 21:18: But here it's totally cool to talk about your lack of.

Guys,

SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
IT IS THREE WEEKS IN AND ALREADY I WANT TO TAKE EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING I SEE
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Nodaisho on 01 May 2009, 21:32: Quote from: Wasteroo on 01 May 2009, 20:23
I was thinkin' it, but man I have standards.
I don't.

And yet I still don't have a sex life.
\
(http://www.qwantz.com/forum/images/smiles/trex-omg.gif)

Where the hell did the T-rex smiley go, anyway?
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: ViolentDove on 01 May 2009, 21:34: Ryan North threatened legal action.
/
(http://www.qwantz.com/forum/images/smiles/trex-omg.gif)
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Nodaisho on 01 May 2009, 21:35: Thank you.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Lines on 01 May 2009, 21:36: Quote from: Lunchbox on 01 May 2009, 21:18
IT IS THREE WEEKS IN AND ALREADY I WANT TO TAKE EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING I SEE

How you doin'?
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Zingoleb on 01 May 2009, 21:40: Wait, he did? Really?

Not cool, Ryan North!
/
(http://www.qwantz.com/forum/images/smiles/trex-omg.gif)
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: ruyi on 01 May 2009, 21:41: Wait, really? I thought Jeph asked for permission and all that.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: David_Dovey on 01 May 2009, 21:48: Ryan North doesn't seem like the litigious type to me. He's gotta a pretty big boner for Lawrence Lessig for one thing,
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: JD on 01 May 2009, 21:48: Quote from: jeph on 24 Mar 2009, 10:10
Quote from: Zombiedude on 22 Mar 2009, 10:19
Jeph, why did you get rid of the t-rex emoticon? Do you hate us?

!!!!

I didn't do that, it must've gotten lost when Ashton upgraded the forum software. I'll get one of the mods on it.

Mystery solved
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Wasteroo on 01 May 2009, 22:01: Seriously?
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: JD on 01 May 2009, 22:03: Don't worry, I think we find Pharm more annoying than you.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: ruyi on 01 May 2009, 22:05: Hey dog don't be buggin', don't got to equate people calling you out on yer sense of humor as a rejection of who you are, you feel me?

I mean, I am presuming here that there is more to 'the real you' than dead baby jokes.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Wasteroo on 01 May 2009, 22:12: I'm not tryin' to sound like a dick or anything, but you're not really helping your situation at this point. I think it would've been a better idea just to treat all this as a learning experience and let people forget about it, rather than bringing it up again.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: ViolentDove on 01 May 2009, 22:15: Quote from: David_Dovey on 01 May 2009, 21:48
Ryan North doesn't seem like the litigious type to me. He's gotta a pretty big boner for Lawrence Lessig for one thing,
Quote from: ruyi on 01 May 2009, 21:41
Wait, really? I thought Jeph asked for permission and all that.

Yeah, I was joking. Um. Sorry.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Zingoleb on 01 May 2009, 22:16: The Dove of Violence...not cool. I am a gullible people.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: ruyi on 01 May 2009, 22:17: It's ok (http://www.qwantz.com/forum/images/smiles/trex-omg.gif)
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: ZJGent on 01 May 2009, 22:25: Quote from: Zingoleb on 01 May 2009, 20:58
Where do I go to learn about the 'normal' fetishes?

I have the weirdest fetish you will have ever heard of.

I like having sex normal style.

With people.

In an intimate, caring and long-term relationship... like normal people.

p.s. hell no I am totally kidding. Exotic lesbian banana witch biscuit orgies all the way.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: ViolentDove on 01 May 2009, 22:29: Quote from: Vern LaVey on 01 May 2009, 21:51
On my end it was just me showing the real me, my sense of humor (no matter how bad) and my take on life. I definitely understand that I have more lurking left to do, I'll be forever lurking. I just assumed that this wasn't a forum of people who got close knit because they knew each other IRL, but a forum who were brought together because of a shared love of QC.
If I'm not to be accepted because of my views that's one thing, but not to be accepted because I haven't lurked enough is another thing entirely. What does that mean exactly? If I lurk more I'll become more like the group or only say things that the group approves of? I've never found it to work that way. What i was doing was the equivalent of throwing myself, the real me, out there for all to see. If you guys tolerated me, great, but if you didn't no amount of lurking on my part is going to change the way I am. It will give me a much better understanding of you sure, but I'll still be me. And if I'm unliked now I'll still be unliked then.

Remember, you yourself got uppity at a (probably bad) joke I made in another thread. These things happen! It's not anything to take to heart.

p.s. So how 'bout that sexual frustration guys?

p.p.s. (http://www.qwantz.com/forum/images/smiles/trex-omg.gif)(http://www.qwantz.com/forum/images/smiles/trex-omg.gif)(http://www.qwantz.com/forum/images/smiles/trex-omg.gif)

p.p.p.s <3 ZJGent.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Wasteroo on 01 May 2009, 22:32: Quote from: ZJGent on 01 May 2009, 22:25
Exotic lesbian banana witch biscuit orgies all the way.

It's like each additional word completely voided the meaning of the ones before it. This is masterful.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Zingoleb on 01 May 2009, 22:40: Typetypetype, backspace, typetype...

Okay, I have no way I can possibly improve upon that. I am trying.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: ackblom12 on 01 May 2009, 23:40: It's okay to be sexually frustrated cause it just means God is saving you from your filthy desires!
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Will on 01 May 2009, 23:51: I am sexually frustrated, internets!
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: snalin on 02 May 2009, 02:18: Quote from: Vern LaVey on 01 May 2009, 22:06
an average QC fan that posts on here.

The average QC fan posts on the QC discussion board. There's people there with post count close to a thousand taht most of the people on this subforum haven't heard the name of.

So forums, last makeout I had was on a dare. I'm getting sadder/more desperate every day.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Patrick on 02 May 2009, 04:40: Guys my dick wants to go places :(
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Lummer on 02 May 2009, 04:43: Just watch out it doesn't end up in the Albanian tabloids.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Patrick on 02 May 2009, 05:03: That happened to the mayor of Tirana once actually, he is an artist when he is not mayoring shit all the time, so when he decided "lol im gonna take sum n00dz of mah self and put dem in a gallary" the inevitable happened.

They even started referring to the scandal as 'penisgate' but he wound up getting re-elected anyway, probably because of it
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Lummer on 02 May 2009, 05:04: I would trust a man, if he's that comfortable with his own junk.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Siibillam-Law on 02 May 2009, 09:27: Hell yeah. I'd vote for him
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Dimmukane on 02 May 2009, 10:26: Thank god it's National Masturbation Month.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Ozymandias on 02 May 2009, 11:03: Quote from: snalin on 02 May 2009, 02:18
The average QC fan posts on the QC discussion board. There's people there with post count close to a thousand taht most of the people on this subforum haven't heard the name of.

So forums, last makeout I had was on a dare. I'm getting sadder/more desperate every day.

Yeah, bro. The average QC fan is not us.

We're the dirty motherfuckers who might not even read the comic and have absolutely no interest in talking about Faye's tits. We're just sort of these guys, y'know?
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Wasteroo on 02 May 2009, 11:07: Hey guys. I'm in a relatively happy relationship that makes infrequent visits to the realm of 3rd base. Doing the nasty is pretty difficult considering I'm a 17 year old without a car, but I'm not particularly dissatisfied with this. Can we pretend this makes me sexually frustrated so I can still hang around?
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: snalin on 02 May 2009, 11:11: I guess that having a sexual relationship going makes you more likely to get desperate after two weeks, because you are really supposed to get something regularly, so yeah, kinda.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Dollface on 02 May 2009, 11:30: i wish that i was a woman because i would be the biggest lesbian in the world.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Wasteroo on 02 May 2009, 13:44: Just nonsensical enough to replace an old Jens quote as my new sig.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Lila on 02 May 2009, 16:03: Quote from: snalin on 02 May 2009, 02:18
So forums, last makeout I had was on a dare. I'm getting sadder/more desperate every day.

The last makeout I had, a very good friend of mine decided that she would teach me how to kiss, demonstrating on a mutual friend of ours then I would try, then got frustrated and just made out with me because she couldn't tell what I was doing with the mutual friend since there wasn't room on my bed for her to really see us from the side (really convoluted sentence. sorry). but kept stopping to be like "no, you have to be more in control" or like "close your eyes, it's impolite if they're open".

we never talked about it again. and it was my first kiss that wasn't a truth or dare/spin the bottle (yes, my friends and I play spin the bottle. that's how desperate we all are)
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: negative creep on 02 May 2009, 16:09: where do i post about how sexually frustrating i am?
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Patrick on 02 May 2009, 16:11: The only person who wants to make out with me right now is 13 years old, Lila, at least be happy you are not living a life that shitty.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Wasteroo on 02 May 2009, 16:11: My first kiss was after introducing a girl to Wayne's World. There was a quiet moment after we turned the movie off, and I sort of lunged at her and she flinched and went "What are you doing?" Luckily she made up the distance in a moment, or else I may have had an embarrassment aneurysm right there.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Lila on 02 May 2009, 16:17: Quote from: Patrick on 02 May 2009, 16:11
The only person who wants to make out with me right now is 13 years old, Lila, at least be happy you are not living a life that shitty.

Well, I'm 15... so 13 wouldn't be *so bad*. gross, but not like pedophilia.
but I have no chance of getting anything out of it - she's straight. and the mutual friend now has a girlfriend.
and my girlfriend (who I never got to kiss even though we "dated" for a month (damn I hate high school)) broke up with me thursday because she's "not ready for a relationship" even though she asked me out.

so I have no one at all who wants to make out with me at all and I am just a freefloating ball of angst.

is that really better than having a 13 year old have a crush on you?

(sorry if I'm whiney)
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Ozymandias on 02 May 2009, 16:25: You're only 15?

Hrm.

I would've killed to be getting even that much action at 15.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: negative creep on 02 May 2009, 17:10: seriously. My first actual kiss was when I was 18.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Wasteroo on 02 May 2009, 17:53: Mine was 16. Does that make me better than you?

(yes)
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: negative creep on 02 May 2009, 18:13: Yeah, your story is better than mine.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Will on 02 May 2009, 18:19: My first kiss was at 23. I win at something, right?
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: WriterofAllWrongs on 02 May 2009, 18:30: being a good christian?
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: mbb on 02 May 2009, 18:34: I think that's losing at something...not winning...
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Wasteroo on 02 May 2009, 18:44: Baby Jesus says it's winning, and I'm not one to disagree with Baby Jesus.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Lines on 02 May 2009, 19:28: FUCKING HELL.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Nodaisho on 02 May 2009, 19:43: Quote from: Linds on 02 May 2009, 19:28
FUCKING HELL.
Hot.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Zingoleb on 02 May 2009, 23:03: My first kiss was 15, and I'm still a virgin because I want my first time to not be with some fat chick who claims to love me after two days of knowing me.

Dammit, I hate having standards
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Wasteroo on 02 May 2009, 23:09: Quote from: Zingoleb on 02 May 2009, 23:03
I'm still a virgin because I want my first time to not be with some fat chick

Don't worry buddy, I fixed it for you
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: calenlass on 02 May 2009, 23:40: My first kiss was at band camp. I was 15 and got to kiss a 12th grader.

Actually a lot more happened than just kissing. But we are not talking about that!
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Zingoleb on 02 May 2009, 23:44: I can't tell if the sun is disturbed by the Erection Giganticus or if its really happy about it. Is it taking a deep breath to go down on it?
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Wasteroo on 02 May 2009, 23:58: I could not tell what the fuck you were talking about for the better part of five minutes.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Wasteroo on 03 May 2009, 00:01: I mean, I didn't want to think you were referring to your own boner, all being aroused by the previous posts. But you never know, man.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Zingoleb on 03 May 2009, 00:02: Quote from: Wasteroo on 02 May 2009, 23:58
I could not tell what the fuck you were talking about for the better part of five minutes.

People tell me this all the time for some reason...
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Josefbugman on 03 May 2009, 02:43: I was 16, she was the village bicycle, and was quite happily *cough* being intimate with someone else at the party later on, I didn't feel anything other than a small sense of "oh. Okay then, I couldn't even remember her name so this is okay".

The odd thing was everyone was coming up to me going 'are you okay?' and other things like that and I couldn't understand it.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: snalin on 03 May 2009, 02:54: Quote from: Patrick on 02 May 2009, 16:11
The only person who wants to make out with me right now is 13 years old, Lila, at least be happy you are not living a life that shitty.

I thought it was more like ~~half of the~~ the entire Albanian 13 year old girl population.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Dollface on 03 May 2009, 03:49: hot or what... (http://i256.photobucket.com/albums/hh191/Wondersaunahotpants/dorkat.jpg)

...not
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Lines on 03 May 2009, 06:02: You look like a 70s glam band.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Dollface on 03 May 2009, 06:52: Quote from: Linds on 03 May 2009, 06:02
You look like a 70s glam band.

im not in that picture tell the truth im not a real human im just very advanced toothbrush i may look like human but i have toothbrush where my dong should be, brush my owner theet so that he can use his hands do something else like work, reason why i look like person is that because some other-end users want to someone to talk about things.

i can draw diagram how my brushing action works.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Patrick on 03 May 2009, 08:43: Quote from: negative creep on 02 May 2009, 17:10
seriously. My first actual kiss was when I was 18.

19.

Quote from: snalin on 03 May 2009, 02:54
Quote from: Patrick on 02 May 2009, 16:11
The only person who wants to make out with me right now is 13 years old, Lila, at least be happy you are not living a life that shitty.

I thought it was more like ~~half of the~~ the entire Albanian 13 year old girl population.

Just about. And that was before I got on their favorite TV show.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: valley_parade on 03 May 2009, 08:51: You should use your newfound success to make CBS launch a CSI: Albania.

Just remember to look epic when you put your sunglasses on.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: SilentJ on 03 May 2009, 09:26: So last night I went to the club with a friend of mine, and I made eyes with this chick all night. Not stunningly attractive, but she was pretty cute, and goddamn she could dance. Then the last time we locked eyes, I went to make a move... and she went to the bar to drink until the place closed. So I'm still pretty sexuallly frustrated.

And to make matters worse,

Quote from: Dollface on 03 May 2009, 03:49
hot or what... (http://i256.photobucket.com/albums/hh191/Wondersaunahotpants/dorkat.jpg)

...not

pretty much sums up the club I was in. Hit on by like three gay dudes. Sorry, guys, not interested.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Nodaisho on 03 May 2009, 10:14: Quote from: valley_parade on 03 May 2009, 08:51
You should use your newfound success to make CBS launch a CSI: Albania.

Just remember to look epic when you put your sunglasses on.
As long as he's got the ones in his avatar, how can he not?
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Patrick on 03 May 2009, 10:24: Therein lies the problem, I am not actually Kim Jong-Il.

I kindof miss my old username, heh.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Siibillam-Law on 03 May 2009, 11:39: Looks less like Kim Jong Il and more like Chow Yun Fat in that picture

Edit: I take that back, after having google searched and found this (http://plaidlemur.files.wordpress.com/2008/10/kim-jong-il.jpg)
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: WriterofAllWrongs on 03 May 2009, 11:53: (http://riverdaughter.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/kimjongil_wideweb__470x42701.jpg)

so cool
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Patrick on 03 May 2009, 13:43: Kim Jong-Il is a bad mother fucker and I am getting so sexually desperate that I would probably fuck him right now.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: SirJuggles on 03 May 2009, 13:56: Maybe that's the key to this whole situation. Kim Jong-Il isn't a maniacal dictator. Just a man who desperately needs some lovin.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Christophe on 03 May 2009, 13:57: Patrick, you need to save yourself. For marriage. Just because he's a Glorious Leader ain't mean he a Glorious Manslut.

EDIT: USER WAS HUNTED DOWN BY THE DPRK FOR THIS POST
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Inlander on 03 May 2009, 16:43: Oh great, now the forum's gonna get nuked. THANKS, CHRISTOPHE.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: ViolentDove on 03 May 2009, 17:18: Quote from: SilentJ on 03 May 2009, 09:26
So last night I went to the club with a friend of mine, and I made eyes with this chick all night. Not stunningly attractive, but she was pretty cute, and goddamn she could dance. Then the last time we locked eyes, I went to make a move... and she went to the bar to drink until the place closed. So I'm still pretty sexuallly frustrated.

And to make matters worse,

pretty much sums up the club I was in. Hit on by like three gay dudes. Sorry, guys, not interested.

Uh... were you trying to pick up girls in a gay bar? 'Cause that might have been your problem.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Eris on 03 May 2009, 19:33: Fuckin' White Pill Week.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnngh
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: SilentJ on 03 May 2009, 20:01: Quote from: ViolentDove on 03 May 2009, 17:18
Quote from: SilentJ on 03 May 2009, 09:26
So last night I went to the club with a friend of mine, and I made eyes with this chick all night. Not stunningly attractive, but she was pretty cute, and goddamn she could dance. Then the last time we locked eyes, I went to make a move... and she went to the bar to drink until the place closed. So I'm still pretty sexuallly frustrated.

And to make matters worse,

pretty much sums up the club I was in. Hit on by like three gay dudes. Sorry, guys, not interested.

Uh... were you trying to pick up girls in a gay bar? 'Cause that might have been your problem.

See, I wasn't expecting to do so since I was being taken to a gay club. But once I got there is when I realized that there are, in fact, straight women in a gay club.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Darkbluerabbit on 03 May 2009, 20:07: It's true. There are straight women in gay clubs. They go to avoid having dudes hit on them all night, among other reasons. So straight men go to gay clubs to hit on women who might make out with other women for fun. It's really a no-win situation for everyone involved.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: SilentJ on 03 May 2009, 20:28: Pretty much. Plus, even though I have nothing but respect for the gay community, it's still pretty uncomfortable to get hit on by gay men, so the girl that took me there didn't understand why I thought the whole night was pretty weird.

So basically, straight people only go to gay clubs if they really are just looking to dance all night. Otherwise it leads to sexual frustration!

...oh, hey thread. What's up?
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Wasteroo on 03 May 2009, 20:54: Not much dude, just getting vicarious entertainment from your life.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 03 May 2009, 22:31: I've avoided this thread for 10 pages.

Oh fuck. Wait no, wrong thread for that.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Slick on 03 May 2009, 23:44: I'm just going to man a picket line right here. No one is can cross post 494 without crossing me.

That's okay Jimmy Slicko, I'll just add anything I have to say by post-jacking your posts. But not always the same one. I'm going to hunt down your posts from the past, too, long-dead ones, and revive them, and inhabit them like a digital tapeworm, and if you want to know what I have to say about anything in this thread you're gonna have to find it.

If I can be bothered. - Inlander
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Slick on 03 May 2009, 23:57: I like the idea of having you inside of me.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Slick on 03 May 2009, 23:57: OH FUCK POST 495 BREAKS THE CREEP-O-MEETER
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: ruyi on 03 May 2009, 23:59: So like...are we getting married or what?
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: ruyi on 03 May 2009, 23:59: I mean you proposed to me.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: ruyi on 04 May 2009, 00:00: It's not like you can, you know, un-propose. It's not even a real word.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: ruyi on 04 May 2009, 00:00: What I'm saying is fuck your picket line also where's my rock bitch!!
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Slick on 04 May 2009, 00:02: I love you more and more each day.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Slick on 04 May 2009, 00:02: what I'm saying is I'm broke how about we'll just use aluminum and craft you one out of that
it'll be shiny.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: ruyi on 04 May 2009, 00:03: I love myself more and more each day too! <3
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Slick on 04 May 2009, 00:04: >3

Oh shit he more-than-threes you! What the fuck does THAT mean?! - Inlander
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: ruyi on 04 May 2009, 00:14: It's a pair of scissors or an eyeless lion face.

Obviously.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Inlander on 04 May 2009, 00:18: The lion lost its eyes due to an unfortunate incident with a pair of scissors. There's a lesson in this for all of us.

"Go for the eyes."
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Zingoleb on 04 May 2009, 00:37: That or lions are twitching when getting haircuts. I mean, would you really want to try and shave a lion's mane? You'd have to get them drunk and say that they did it themselves, though. Also, shave off the hair on their ass and tattoo them with a heart and some other guy's name to make all the lioness's think they're gay. Ahahaha! Take that you dumbfuck lions!

I should sleep one of these days
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Inlander on 04 May 2009, 00:46: Man I wouldn't mess with a lion like that, if he can't get any lioness action then that's gonna be one majorly sexually frustrated lion, and that's not a creature I want to come across. All cryin' into his booze, complaining about how lioness never go for the nice lions, talking that shit 'bout "Who needs lionesses anyway." Heads up buddy, you do! You think you're gonna take down an antelope by yourself? I don't think so!

Fuckin' lions think they can come in and shit up my bar with their problems, god-damn.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Zingoleb on 04 May 2009, 00:55: That's when you hire some hooker lioness to distract him for awhile and lock him out. They're fairly cheap, too, they need their Colombian Nip.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Lines on 04 May 2009, 05:28: Quote from: Darkbluerabbit on 03 May 2009, 20:07
It's true. There are straight women in gay clubs. They go to avoid having dudes hit on them all night, among other reasons. So straight men go to gay clubs to hit on women who might make out with other women for fun. It's really a no-win situation for everyone involved.

I go because it's more fun. Actually, a bunch of people I know go to gay bars/clubs because of that reason.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Josefbugman on 04 May 2009, 05:33: What is at all "fun" about a club, you get drink spilled on you, no-one actually sees you in the dark, all they see is whatever part of you you are wiggling at that precise moment, you can't hear a damn thing anyone is yelling, the music is generally so bad that it can cause brain tumours, the list goes on. Give me a nice pub or bar where you can hear other people, randomly chat to them or just talk to your friends and get sh*tfaced.

TL;DR version "get off my lawn ya durn kids!"
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: supersheep on 04 May 2009, 06:26: You're not taking enough/the right drugs.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: redglasscurls on 04 May 2009, 06:33: Or you're just not the type who likes to dance I guess?
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Dollface on 04 May 2009, 06:37: My nuts send death threat to me it said "get laid within the week or i go jihad on your sorry ass!!"

im really worried because last time we got in to fight i got my black ass shot.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: McTaggart on 04 May 2009, 06:39: People go to clubs to get away from people who hate fun.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Dollface on 04 May 2009, 07:42: I had this stupid idea.

You know to info broads in shops where you can put selling/buying/other note what if i put note like this on what would happen.

"dear mr/mrs sex offender/rapist. wanna do it to me? im *************** i will be waiting in the parking lot behind this store at 5pm.

love
your next victim :wink:"
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Liz on 04 May 2009, 08:01: Quote from: Patrick on 03 May 2009, 08:43
Quote from: negative creep on 02 May 2009, 17:10
seriously. My first actual kiss was when I was 18.

19.

20!! I win (or lose, who knows?)

Anyways. Sexually frustrated thread! Liz got some makeouts, etc. on Saturday night/Sunday morning so that is pretty awesome. yay me!
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Josefbugman on 04 May 2009, 08:14: I don't take drugs, I can ballroom dance and can do a mean headbang or charleston, but I wouldn't force my random failings and piss poor attempts at waggling things on anyone.

I don't hate fun, but clubs aren't really fun... plus I like to talk too much.

Also if your nuts are talking to you you may want to seek immediate medical help.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Alex C on 04 May 2009, 08:16: No, see, you actually really do hate fun. Sorry.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Josefbugman on 04 May 2009, 08:18: Awhhhh, does that mean I have to start wearing a cape and maniacally cackling?
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Jace on 04 May 2009, 09:41: Quote from: Misconception on 04 May 2009, 08:01
Quote from: Patrick on 03 May 2009, 08:43
Quote from: negative creep on 02 May 2009, 17:10
seriously. My first actual kiss was when I was 18.

19.

20!!

13. Also lost my virginity at that age too.
Hey, I'm still in this boat, but I don't mind it so much anymore.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: TheFuriousWombat on 04 May 2009, 11:08: I can't imagine how lame that experience must have been for the girl you lost it to.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: redglasscurls on 04 May 2009, 11:13: Yeah, most guys voices haven't even changed by then. Even if she was 13 too, ugh.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Jace on 04 May 2009, 12:17: Quote from: TheFuriousWombat on 04 May 2009, 11:08
I can't imagine how lame that experience must have been for the girl you lost it to.

She was actually all about the sex, I was just along for the ride. She seemed to enjoy it more than I did.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Professor Snuggles on 04 May 2009, 12:18: A sexual dynamo at age 13?

No wonder you're so fucked up.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Patrick on 04 May 2009, 12:49: I got kisses today. It was great. It's kindof weird not being in a relationship now, so I get to basically make out with whoever else feels like making out with me.

Liberating, for sure, but does nothing for my spaqia.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Josefbugman on 04 May 2009, 13:26: spaqia?
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Patrick on 04 May 2009, 14:06: I am trying to introduce that word into English to replace the lengthy "sexual frustration". Same thing anyway, but "spaCHEEa" is a lot easier.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: redglasscurls on 04 May 2009, 14:09: I pronounced it as "spa-quena" when I read it, which apparently means gentle in Russian. Fail!
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 04 May 2009, 21:19: Quote from: Misconception on 04 May 2009, 08:01
Quote from: Patrick on 03 May 2009, 08:43
Quote from: negative creep on 02 May 2009, 17:10
seriously. My first actual kiss was when I was 18.

19.

20!! I win (or lose, who knows?)

Anyways. Sexually frustrated thread! Liz got some makeouts, etc. on Saturday night/Sunday morning so that is pretty awesome. yay me!

I turn 21 in about 28 days and I still haven't had a first kiss.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Ozymandias on 04 May 2009, 21:42: I am glad everyone is good at making me feel better about my makeouts history, though.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Zingoleb on 04 May 2009, 21:51: I know. Last make out session I had was with this girl I didn't really like but was willing last summer, and I thought that was pretty sad, but these forums cheer me right up from that.

Though I still feel bad about kissing her. Mostly because I don't think she's mature enough to be with anyone.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Will on 04 May 2009, 21:53: Man, I haven't even had a good makeout session in 6 months...so much fail, so little time.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: mbb on 05 May 2009, 15:38: So, bf and I broke up. It's been about a weekend and a half since we've had sex. And now, today I hear about cute guy I have a crush on sleeping with two girls this past weekend. Lots of sex, and none for me. :(
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Ballard on 05 May 2009, 18:42: Quote from: mbb on 05 May 2009, 15:38
It's been about a weekend and a half since we've had sex.

Sorry to put things in perspective but this is three days.

P.S. thread I guess I don't need you anymore as I've fallen into a regular fuck buddy sort of situation recently, though we can only see each other once a week for a little bit and it's not wholly satisfying but hey!
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Zingoleb on 05 May 2009, 23:28: This thread depressed me again as I laid awake in bed (alone) this morning.

It went from "Hahaha, I'm not the only one without sex!" to "Oh, so, there's a bunch of people on the internet who aren't getting laid," which somehow made it all pathetic again.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: David_Dovey on 06 May 2009, 05:13: Actually the main problem with being an utter man-whore is that sooner or later everyone catches on to your jape.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: calenlass on 06 May 2009, 05:55: Oh come on, Tommy. There has got to be at least one village in all of Britain where some girl's father hasn't already got his shotgun ready for you.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Patrick on 06 May 2009, 07:04: It's okay. You could be famous in a country full of shit-hot women, many of whom think you are the most talented person on the show, and realize that the country is just a step less conservative than Saudi Arabia.

That, sir, is the definition of blue balls.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Ballard on 06 May 2009, 07:39: Quote from: Ptommydski on 06 May 2009, 06:00
Your avatar is a surprisingly apt summary of my day today. :|

The sky is blue, the sun is shining and your ferret has a massive erection?
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Slick on 06 May 2009, 07:43: oh the redhead said you shred the kanun
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Slick on 06 May 2009, 07:44: and I'm Baklava, baby?
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: axerton on 06 May 2009, 14:29: Dear people who were complaing about frustration due to lack of makeouts.
Until recently I was two and a half years without anything more than a kiss on the cheek from my best friend. How, do you ask, was that dry spell ended?
Well the girl in quesiton (Girl A) was high, oh and we were acting. This was followed shortly after by a particularly short session, which I'm still at least slightly convinced was pity enduced with girl B (the one I blogged about in meebo a lot) Then there was girl C, who was girl A's replacement in the play (girl A having been booted for being high) - ironically this was completely unnessesary due to anything worth mentioning in this context being cut from the play. The only reason I am in a good enough mood to blog about this (allbeit in the wrong thread) is due girl D.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Dimmukane on 06 May 2009, 15:25: what
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Patrick on 06 May 2009, 17:45: Makeouts may or may not be ending soon but cuddles are still going strong with the one girl from the show, and I am currently in the process of being terribly flirty with one of the other girls from the show.

I really have turned into a piece of shit but the girls in question do not seem to mind, despite all of them knowing about my slutty ways with the others.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Eris on 06 May 2009, 18:09: Patrick, you basically said that in the blog thread. Either blog in the blog thread and stay out of here, or come in here and write "OH GOD MY LIFE SUCKS AND I'M GETTING MAKEOUTS AND CUDDLES NYAH NYAH NYAH" and stay out of the blog thread.

We don't need more blogging going on around here, people, or so help me god I will turn this into a TMI thread; I can think of a few people who would be happy to talk about that stuff.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: look out! Ninjas! on 06 May 2009, 19:11: Hi Tommy, welcome to the thread.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Lines on 06 May 2009, 20:12: Tommy, how can you damn half Arabian girls and then page Slick? He isn't a half Arabian girl!

Or is he.

I just don't know anymore.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Zingoleb on 06 May 2009, 20:13: The girl I'm interested in is half-French, half-Japanese.

She's also 1,500 miles away

Le sigh.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Slick on 06 May 2009, 20:27: Quote from: Linds on 06 May 2009, 20:12
Tommy, how can you damn half Arabian girls and then page Slick? He isn't a half Arabian girl!
It is because he was quoting that Weezer song I was singing a while back.

Quote from: Linds on 06 May 2009, 20:12
Or is he.
Yes.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Ballard on 06 May 2009, 20:29: In a Chuck Palahniuk novel we'd all be fucking at this point.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Zingoleb on 06 May 2009, 20:32: Then let's fuck I'm not picky about little things like anatomy
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: BrittanyMarie on 06 May 2009, 20:34: I hope most of our lives don't suck as much as Chuck Palahniuk novels. I keep reading them thinking "maybe I'll like this one" and it has never happened and I end up hating myself more for continuing to waste my time.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: TheFuriousWombat on 06 May 2009, 20:43: Quote from: Zingoleb on 06 May 2009, 20:13
The girl I'm interested in is half-French, half-Japanese.

She's also 1,500 miles away

Le sigh.

I think you mean 'Re Sigh.'

(Ba-dum tsh)
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: BrittanyMarie on 06 May 2009, 20:46: Tommy I also vote you for most confusing poster, as I can never tell when you are kidding or serious. Though I think you're making fun of me on that one.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: SilentJ on 06 May 2009, 22:41: The girl I'm interested in, I broke up with six months ago, and am currently attempting to drink myself into a coma because I saw a picture of her kissing her new guy on facebook.

Do I win the thread yet? Give me a few hours, I'll be drunk enough to be weepy about how awful I perceive life as now.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: StaedlerMars on 07 May 2009, 00:04: Quote from: Ptommydski on 06 May 2009, 20:54
Someone said that to me the other day so I guess you are not alone? Ninety-five percent of my posts exist just for the sake of humour but that was not one of them.

Chuck Palahniuk is a seriously shitty author. I don't understand why people like him. His books seem to be literature for people who prefer film scripts. Only shit.

Man, I disagree. They are film scripts though, you're right on that. But I definitely think they're good absurdist stories.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Cartilage Head on 07 May 2009, 00:29: I kind of like Chuck P. but do find certain aspects of his work extremely bad.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Dunnoe on 07 May 2009, 00:51: I wish you all the joy of the worm.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: nobo on 07 May 2009, 04:20: Quote from: Ptommydski on 06 May 2009, 20:54
Chuck Palahniuk is a seriously shitty author. I don't understand why people like him.

I think its because of Fight Club. The movie was so good that people don't think he can do any wrong and keep getting his books. I read a few of them and have been routinely disappointed.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: SilentJ on 07 May 2009, 06:36: The only writing of Palahniuk's that I've read is the first chapter of Scared, and now I never want to see his name on a book again.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Ballard on 07 May 2009, 09:07: My first encounter with Chuck was watching Fight Club. I tried reading the book afterward but it was mediocre and uninspired (and carried none of the energy of the movie- good job Art Linson!). Every once in a while I'll try again (read and then watched Choke, read Survivor) and have been routinely disappointed. I don't think he's shitty but he's certainly overrated.

All in all I'm neutral on the subject- I merely wanted to point out that we'd all be fucking.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: StaedlerMars on 07 May 2009, 13:18: I think his books aren't masterpieces, but rather crude aburdist stories.

I thoroughly enjoyed Survivor though.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Scandanavian War Machine on 07 May 2009, 13:54: guys, Chuck Palahniuk has gotten alot better at writing! admittedly, his first 6 or 7 books were basically grubby caracatures of each other and not super inspired but his newerish books are getting better. i highly recommend Rant. also, Snuff is good if you like being grossed the fuck out constantly.
Haunted was good too, and might even be his best; though it's hard to say.

here i was gonna say "let's see you write better" but then i remembered that Tommy is actually quite good at writing so i'm just gonna hang my head in shame and leave it at that.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Alex C on 07 May 2009, 13:59: Quote from: Ptommydski on 07 May 2009, 05:13
The film was good, which is weird because even that book was rubbish.

I'm conflicted on Fight Club. Like the first act, dislike the second, bored by the third. But I really, really like the first act.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated BY CHUCK PALAHNIUK
Post by: SirJuggles on 07 May 2009, 15:00: ^see title^

Now, honestly the first book of his I read was Rant, which I found to be a great little open-to-interpretation thrill ride. But that got me all excited, and after tracking a bunch of his older work down I've been... kinda disappointed? Plus my girlfriend obsesses over his stuff so I feel a little left out.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: TheFuriousWombat on 07 May 2009, 15:01: Quote from: Scandanavian War Machine on 07 May 2009, 13:54
here i was gonna say "let's see you write better" but then i remembered that Tommy is actually quite good at writing so i'm just gonna hang my head in shame and leave it at that.

Arguments of that type have never made any sense to me at all. Just because someone doesn't have a particular talent doesn't mean they don't have a general sense of aesthetics that allows them to astutely critique art in mediums that are beyond them ability wise.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Scandanavian War Machine on 07 May 2009, 15:35: well, i was kind of joking but yes, it is a very shitty argument; that's why i didn't actually use it.

(plus, Tommy would have actually done better and then i would have felt really stupid)
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated BY CHUCK PALAHNIUK
Post by: Ballard on 07 May 2009, 15:56: Quote from: SirJuggles on 07 May 2009, 15:00
great little open-to-interpretation thrill ride

Unless you suddenly find yourself writing for Kirkus Reviews, please don't ever use this to describe a book ever again.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Patrick on 07 May 2009, 16:04: Oh god spaqia is getting to me again because there is that one girl from the show who is just plain ridiculously attractive and oh my god, hugs with boob-smoosh do NOT HELP and neither does a kiss on each cheek.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Dimmukane on 07 May 2009, 16:06: The girl just got a tongue ring but she's trying very hard not to cheat on her boyfriend and I am trying not to push her to but this just made things so much harder
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Siibillam-Law on 07 May 2009, 16:11: sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Cadeonehalf on 07 May 2009, 21:38: Gah Don't remind me of my source of frustration.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Zingoleb on 07 May 2009, 23:56: Guys my friend is totally gay for me

And I am considering reciprocating

I may not need this thread any more
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Siibillam-Law on 08 May 2009, 01:24: See, that's the spirit!
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Zingoleb on 08 May 2009, 13:55: The spirit was willing but the flesh was limp

Son of a bitch
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: WriterofAllWrongs on 08 May 2009, 14:12: I'm pretty sure erectile dysfunction is funny in any context.

(heeheehee that guy couldn't get it up hee hee hee.)
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Siibillam-Law on 08 May 2009, 15:05: Do you suffer from erectile problems?

Simple! All you need is this KIT!

It comes complete with one extend-a-rod(tm) and scotch tape. Simple! All you have to do is extend the Extend-a-rod (tm) to the desired length, and tape your problems away!
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Dunnoe on 08 May 2009, 16:51: that was fast...
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Jimmy the Squid on 08 May 2009, 17:07: That's what she said.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Patrick on 08 May 2009, 17:35: Oh fuck my life it is SO NOT FAIR to see all these really really fit dancer chicks in nearly nothing.

Upside: most of them are single

Downside: but now I don't emit that "I am in a committed relationship" pheromone anymore or something
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Nodaisho on 08 May 2009, 19:14: Solution: make an excuse for them to see you playing a guitar.

While it's on fire, and you are doing a backflip.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Wasteroo on 08 May 2009, 19:28: I refuse to read the previous posts for context but whoever is being coerced into flaming backflips I am begging you to succumb to peer pressure and do this. Please.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: KvP on 08 May 2009, 20:35: Quote from: Scandanavian War Machine on 07 May 2009, 13:54
guys, Chuck Palahniuk has gotten alot better at writing!
See I don't think that's the case. He's turned from a pulp novelist into the Todd Solondz of the literary world. It's writing as punishment. All he can really do at this point is continually escalate the unpleasantness.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Zingoleb on 08 May 2009, 22:24: Dammit we're talking about our bad sex lives not our bad books
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Zingoleb on 08 May 2009, 22:25: ~~Fucker~~

~~Non-fucker~~

You jerk type of person
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: SirJuggles on 09 May 2009, 00:14: Heh. Visiting home this weekend. Saw the lady friend this evening. If you'll excuse me, I will now exit this thread, stage left...
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: negative creep on 09 May 2009, 01:13: "you can't undress me right now because I'm too fat" (...that's what she said)

what.

I guess that brings me back to the other side of this game, i.e. sexually frustrated instead of frustrating.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Zingoleb on 09 May 2009, 01:36: Masturbation causes hand cramps and chafed genitalia neither of which are pleasant
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Zingoleb on 09 May 2009, 01:36: Basically what I am saying is that I want to fuuuuuck
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Johnny C on 09 May 2009, 03:19: Quote from: Zingoleb on 09 May 2009, 01:36
Masturbation causes hand cramps and chafed genitalia neither of which are pleasant

neither of these are true unless you are jerkin it with those golf gloves that have the little rubber dimples on em
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Zingoleb on 09 May 2009, 06:19: It's actually pretty funny what your doctor will tell you when you can't afford American ones and get peoples in undistinguishable accents.

This sounds racist, but for years my doctor was "Satya Sahukar" and my therapist was "Choon Yeon" and I really didn't have much faith in either.

I'm posting in this thread more than I should. More than people want to hear me. I'll be leaving now (stage right, so as not to cause any accidents)...
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: calenlass on 09 May 2009, 06:37: So I'm not sure what this says about me, or whether or not I can say I'm still sexually frustrated (insofar as I ever was?) anymore, but I had a bitchin' dream last night wherein I had sex with Patrick Stewart. And then we cuddled.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Inlander on 09 May 2009, 06:41: Patrick Stewart, or Jean-Luc Picard?
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: allison on 09 May 2009, 07:14: It was definitely Picard.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: valley_parade on 09 May 2009, 07:27: Quote from: Zingoleb on 06 May 2009, 20:13
The girl I'm interested in is half-French, half-Japanese.

She's also 1,500 miles away

Le sigh.

Dude, you realize you just summed up the entirety of "Pinkerton", right?
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: negative creep on 09 May 2009, 07:43: Quote from: negative creep on 09 May 2009, 01:13
"you can't undress me right now because I'm too fat" (...that's what she said)

what.

I guess that brings me back to the other side of this game, i.e. sexually frustrated instead of frustrating.

Strike that, I don't really care enough to be actually frustrated.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: A Wet Helmet on 09 May 2009, 08:50: Quote from: Inlander on 09 May 2009, 06:41
Patrick Stewart, or Jean-Luc Picard?

Or Professor Xavier?
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Jace on 09 May 2009, 11:20: Oh man, calenlass (can I call you katie? I believe that is your name, but we aren't super well acquainted, just a couple times in meebo), I think I had that same dream. But without the sex. Just a dream of 8 hours of cuddling with Patrick Stewart as he said technobabble.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Zingoleb on 09 May 2009, 11:36: Quote from: valley_parade on 09 May 2009, 07:27
Quote from: Zingoleb on 06 May 2009, 20:13
The girl I'm interested in is half-French, half-Japanese.

She's also 1,500 miles away

Le sigh.

Dude, you realize you just summed up the entirety of "Pinkerton", right?

I've...never heard of it.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: McTaggart on 09 May 2009, 11:52: It's an album by a band called Weezer. It's ok, insofar as any album by Weezer is ok. Don't confuse Weezer with that band that did that song 'Teenage Dirtbag'. They are different bands entirely.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: calenlass on 09 May 2009, 12:29: Nah, more like this (http://www.filmdope.com/Gallery/ActorsS/16548-16142.gif).
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Patrick on 09 May 2009, 14:37: Katie that picture gave me a raging hard-on, you are NOT HELPING
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Siibillam-Law on 09 May 2009, 17:32: Man. Not only is it Patrick Stewart, but he's got a goddamned moustache!
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Johnny C on 09 May 2009, 18:50: Quote from: calenlass on 09 May 2009, 12:29
Nah, more like this (http://www.filmdope.com/Gallery/ActorsS/16548-16142.gif).

Nah, more like this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pf9oD_xl8mI).
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: calenlass on 09 May 2009, 19:32: Ok, yeah, basically like that.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Professor Snuggles on 09 May 2009, 20:02: I don't know if this thread is serious or not anymore, but the more people tell me how incredibly attractive I am currently, the more I begin to think there is something seriously deficient about my personality that is keeping girls away.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Tyler on 09 May 2009, 20:20: And hanging out with either of you, I felt as if I was playing for second place.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Professor Snuggles on 09 May 2009, 21:14: Tommy that is definitely a thing.

Tyler, if it makes you feel better I always found you incredibly threatening!
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Tyler on 09 May 2009, 21:27: Lets hug it out, guys.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Professor Snuggles on 09 May 2009, 21:30: No homo.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Tyler on 09 May 2009, 22:10: I know you enjoyed those cuddles.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Ballard on 09 May 2009, 23:23: I'm pretty sure I just got home from a threesome that we had in public in a clearing in Central Park after smoking several bowls.

Life is good. I'm too dazed to say much of anything else really.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Professor Snuggles on 09 May 2009, 23:27: Damn dude you are really cool.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Johnny C on 09 May 2009, 23:28: new york sounds awesome i'd love to visit some time
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Ballard on 09 May 2009, 23:33: Kieffer I can never really tell if you are mocking me or serious but whatever you are a pretty cool dude anyways.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Professor Snuggles on 10 May 2009, 09:04: oh, so like.

o/ \o
|--o--B-|
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Hat on 10 May 2009, 09:34: Quote from: Zingoleb on 09 May 2009, 01:36
Basically what I am saying is that I want to fuuuuuck
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Josefbugman on 10 May 2009, 09:39: Guys, what do you call a period of your life where you don't have anyone to be interested in? I don't want to get laid especially but at the moment I would really like to fall in love with someone, I'm getting increasingly bored of how boring my love life is.

Explanations why I should/shouldn't below.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: valley_parade on 10 May 2009, 09:51: "lonely".
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Josefbugman on 10 May 2009, 10:02: Ha, I guess thats kind of true, I am surrounded by friends (for a given value of surrounded by), I just haven't found anyone to fall in love with.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Ballard on 10 May 2009, 10:18: Sam's just jealous 'cause nobody wants to fuck his beard.

88888
-4----(-)
---8888
88888 (|======8
888
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Josefbugman on 10 May 2009, 10:24: I have grown my beard now, summer is only happening every couple of days here.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Inlander on 10 May 2009, 16:32: Quote from: Josefbugman on 10 May 2009, 09:39
Guys, what do you call a period of your life where you don't have anyone to be interested in?

"Lucky".
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Patrick on 10 May 2009, 17:31: There may be an end to my spaqija (I finally found out how it is spelled) in sight.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: WriterofAllWrongs on 10 May 2009, 19:29: ...but Patrick, you are making out with like every chick in Albania. How are you spaquia'd at all?
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Emaline on 10 May 2009, 19:57: The other day a coworker gave me a copy of the movie Attack Girls Swim Team Vs The Undead. (http://www.gomorrahy.com/nihombie/attack-girls-swim-team-versus-the-undead.htm) Upon watching my undubbed, lacking subtitles copy, I realized that it is less cheesy Asian horror, and more Asian lesbian porn, featuring hot young girls fighting zombies when they are not making out or fingering each other, which I mean, I had no complaints about. I love hot women, and hot women making out are great. Throw zombies into the mix and I'm pretty much in heaven. I'm such a female pig. Whatevs.

I guess I didn't realize how much I actually enjoyed this movie, or how long it has actually been, or how incredibly sexually frustrated I am, because I honestly did not believe it. I was in sexual frustration denial. I had two dirty dreams that night. One where I detailed what it was like when a woman gives you head vs a man to a friend that I used to fool around with. In the other dream, I fucked another friend, in front of his girlfriend, while we were defending ourselves from zombie dogs, and three eyed cats, while watching zombie movies(I love my subconscious).

A normal person would just ignore these dreams. Not I. I contacted the friend from dream B and told him all about it. That was Friday. Since then, he and I have been texting each other nonstop, telling each other very dirty things that we'd like to do to each other. I mean, these texts are extremely explicit. And he has a girlfriend. And I have basically been have text sex with him all weekend, because god fucking damn it I need to get laid. And he has a girlfriend. And I had my chance at this dude, but basically, I am a very fucked up girl, and wasn't interested at all. But now I am basically allowing dude to cheat on his girlfriend by sending him hugely inappropriate texts.

So, I am a terrible person. But oh man. This is great and I love it, and it's terrible and unfair, and I don't care because man I love telling this dude horribly dirty things. I have him wrapped around my finger. God I am horrible.

tl;dr I am a terrible slut and I don't care.

But maybe convince me to stop?
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Tyler on 10 May 2009, 20:14: You are kind of a bitch.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: JD on 10 May 2009, 20:18: What are you doing tonight?
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Emaline on 10 May 2009, 20:32: Quote from: Tyler on 10 May 2009, 20:14
You are kind of a bitch.

I do not deny this.

Quote from: Zombiedude on 10 May 2009, 20:18
What are you doing tonight?

If this is directed at me, probably texting this dude, reading about video games, and then maybe playing Bioshock, or reading my copy of my new Batman detective comics, before passing out.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Lines on 10 May 2009, 20:42: You should probably stop. Cheating is no good.

(You said try to convince you and that's all I got.)
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Dazed on 10 May 2009, 20:47: Yeah, I'd stop before your friend does something to fuck up his relationship then blames you for the whole thing and then you lose your friend.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Emaline on 10 May 2009, 20:50: We've both agreed that as long as he is with this girl(and they've just started dating) that nothing physical can come from this, and that it will remain nothing more that a texting thing. Once they start actually having sex, I imagine he'd be less interested in me, and more interested in the real thing. I don't know. It's terrible and we both know it. Basically, I am not sure how I feel about it at this point.

We aren't even really good friends, which I'm not sure if that makes me feel worse about it or not. Basically, he is a dude that has been chasing me since forever, and I have been rejecting him since forever, and now this.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Tyler on 10 May 2009, 20:53: Stop. Seriously. This makes you a terrible person. You are a terrible person.

Also, it is fucking sexting. This is what they talk about high schoolers doing on news specials.

What the shit.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Emaline on 10 May 2009, 21:01: Never once did I claim to be a good person.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Emaline on 10 May 2009, 21:11: I did say maybe, so I guess not really.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: iamiam on 10 May 2009, 21:15: oh, i see. so you were just asking people to tell you to stop for the attention.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Emaline on 10 May 2009, 21:18: I was actually asking people to tell me to stop to give my post a bit more of a point beyond ranting and getting things off my chest. I thought this was the sexually frustrated thread, and I guess I was blogging about my sexual frustrations.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Eris on 10 May 2009, 21:34: (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v663/Lapuz/Pepsi_ICE_Cucumber_2.jpg)
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Emaline on 10 May 2009, 21:37: hahahahahah Oh man. Eris, I love you. Seriously.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Candle on 10 May 2009, 21:50: the dude is sexting you while dating some broad

is he really a boy you want to be around?
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Emaline on 10 May 2009, 21:57: if he is just a boytoy, why does it matter? My feelings aren't the ones that are going to get hurt. The worst that will happen is this will become something physical, and we'll fuck, and he'll cheat on his girlfriend. He'll get hurt, she'll get hurt, I'll lose a friend/fuck buddy. Seeing as I'm not close to the dude it won't be a huge loss, and in the mean time I will build my confidence back up because I will be having good sex that I prompted with someone I trust who will be telling me that it is good, plus letting me switch and experiment.

Basically, it sucks that people's feelings have to get hurt for me to feel better about myself, but I'm a bitch and beyond caring. Like I said, I never claimed to be a good person.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Tyler on 10 May 2009, 22:01: What is the option that will make you post the least in this thread?

Lets go with that.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Emaline on 10 May 2009, 22:04: People to stop responding? Jesus. This isn't rocket science.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Tyler on 10 May 2009, 22:11: Basically I want you to stop making masturbatory posts asking for help then ignoring it completely, because its annoying, childish, and ruins my lovely forums.

Stop ruining things.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Will on 10 May 2009, 22:13: Quote from: Tyler on 10 May 2009, 22:11
Basically I want you to stop making masturbatory posts asking for help then ignoring it completely, because its annoying, childish, and ruins my lovely forums.

Stop ruining things.

THIS
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: SilentJ on 10 May 2009, 22:16: Regardless of anything Emaline has said, the biggest issue here is that the word "sexting" has been used twice in the last 20 posts, neither of which were directly making fun of the media.

Even if they were used appropriately, what the shit you guys it is not a real word

EDIT: Plus, I thought "sexting" was supposed to be sending naked pictures to people via SMS? Which is an issue because usually it is technically child pornography?
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: BrittanyMarie on 10 May 2009, 22:30: Man my friend at the liquor store last night was telling me about sexting. It is the dumbest term, plus it is totally something a lot of people do? Only hopefully without the child porn aspect. I've gotten pictures of boners before from dudes I was sleeping with (usually when they were out of town/I was busy).
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Lines on 10 May 2009, 22:35: Yeah, lets not talk about that anymore.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Patrick on 10 May 2009, 23:40: Quote from: WriterofAllWrongs on 10 May 2009, 19:29
...but Patrick, you are making out with like every chick in Albania. How are you spaquia'd at all?

I have only made out with the one girl but I am doing my best. As for spaqija, there is only the one cure :\
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: SirJuggles on 10 May 2009, 23:54: TEXT-UAL INTERCOURSE
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: ruyi on 11 May 2009, 00:00: that's pretty much liberal arts
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Inlander on 11 May 2009, 00:02: Are you sure you're not getting intercourse confused with wankery?
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Inlander on 11 May 2009, 00:05: Actually I love the arts. Even the liberal ones. But I can't help but associate the phrase "liberal arts" with arts academia, which seems to be a pretty wanky field.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: ruyi on 11 May 2009, 00:06: you're right, it is merely masturbation :-( but unfortunately I can't make a pun with that and 'text' and 'discourse'!
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: ruyi on 11 May 2009, 00:07: ...i guess i'm not a very good rhetoric major after all

:-(
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Johnny C on 11 May 2009, 00:12: rhetoric majors
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Dollface on 11 May 2009, 00:13: I like his style. (http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20081003124508AAoDvb1)
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: ruyi on 11 May 2009, 00:19: I enjoyed the responses more than the question I think.

Also this seems fitting (http://manga.clone-army.org/jointworks/hh/023.jpg) for the thread.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Inlander on 11 May 2009, 00:24: Also appropriate for the "dream indie boy" thread.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Johnny C on 11 May 2009, 00:33: (http://img204.imageshack.us/img204/5060/rd20090501.jpg)
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Inlander on 11 May 2009, 00:46: Dog tongues are so velvety and soft.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: SirJuggles on 11 May 2009, 01:01: This thread got about 300% better in the past hour
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Ballard on 11 May 2009, 01:44: oh man fuck this thread

Kieffer I know how much you want for this thread to go away and I was ready to disagree with you but now just do whatever you want you have won the war. Fuck.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Cartilage Head on 11 May 2009, 14:12: I think Emaline just wanted a chance to assert that she "didn't really care at all" to avoid guilt. Emaline, how about you be the decent person and end this, and find a guy who is not apparently a total skeevy asshole and that actually makes you feel like you are worth something? Don't let this guy use you to vent his sexual frustration, that is fucked up. Show the tiniest little bit of compassion for other people, even if you don't know them well (gasp!) and end it.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Wasteroo on 11 May 2009, 21:09: I was worried I had missed all the drama, but then Cartilage Head posted!
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Cartilage Head on 11 May 2009, 21:29: Sorry, I wasn't aware that "genuinely trying to give advice" was the same as starting drama.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Wasteroo on 11 May 2009, 21:42: My post was 90% tongue-in-cheek. I was only noting that your response seems kind of late, especially since she hasn't posted in this thread in a bit.

Nothing against you, Cartilage Head! You seem like an okay person, all giving actual advice on an internet forum when everyone else was being a dick to a stranger.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Ballard on 12 May 2009, 00:06: Yeah Corey's post was actually the best and the most genuine.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: StaedlerMars on 12 May 2009, 08:41: You're sexually frustrated?

Man, it could be a lot fucking worse (http://www.reuters.com/article/newsOne/idUSTRE54A5WL20090511)
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Patrick on 12 May 2009, 17:36: Man, that's why I never got into bestiality. Least my ex could understand me if I said she was going too far with her teeth.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Vern LaVey on 12 May 2009, 21:28: Quote from: Inlander on 11 May 2009, 00:46
Dog tongues are so velvety and soft.

All good for the dog owners, sure, but I have 2 cats. Ever get a REAL CLOSE LOOK at a cat's tongue? Owwch.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Wasteroo on 12 May 2009, 22:04: As a general rule, I try and keep "my eyeballs" and "things that are like prehensile sandpaper" as far apart as possible, so no I haven't looked.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Blue Kitty on 12 May 2009, 22:14: BEHOLD!!

(http://www.bagofnothing.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2006/09/CatTongue.jpeg)
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Ballard on 12 May 2009, 22:28: (http://farm1.static.flickr.com/24/93593351_436c1e369f_o.jpg)
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Inlander on 12 May 2009, 22:32: Quote from: Vern LaVey on 12 May 2009, 21:28
All good for the dog owners, sure, but I have 2 cats. Ever get a REAL CLOSE LOOK at a cat's tongue? Owwch.

My first cat spent his formative years living with a dog. He licked everyone and everything as would a dog.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: De_El on 13 May 2009, 11:05: So, getting bloggy about sex: jesus am I sore for a bonin'. This is actually pretty unexpected too! I hadn't slept with anyone since March and was basically accepting of the fact I wasn't liable to get any for a while until last Saturday, last drunken hurrah of my first year at college, when I hooked up with a sort-of friend of mine and it was essentially mind-blowing. Which is awesome! I am totally grateful for this. But whether or not under other circumstances it would have been a one-time deal, the year ended and now she's in New Hampshire and my libido has been reactivated something fierce. Basically I am now strongly considering my joke-plan of using the summer to sleep with all the people I had crushes on in high school.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Tyler on 13 May 2009, 15:47: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4YLSSHCL8Y (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4YLSSHCL8Y)

Jens, feel free to pleasure yourself to this.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Vern LaVey on 13 May 2009, 18:50: I cracked up at "Scenic Downtown Detroit".
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: StaedlerMars on 14 May 2009, 06:57: Not as much sexually frustrated as GOD DAMN I NEED TO DE-STRESS RIGHT NOW

and sex would be awesome for that.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: SilentJ on 14 May 2009, 09:29: friend of mine: "hey we're playing kings this weekend at a friend's house, you should come!""
me: "yeah ok, that sounds good"

friend: "hey so this friend complains about not getting laid as much as you do, I'ma totally set you guys up"
me: "ok? thanks?"

friend: "hey so guess what I'm setting you up with your friend's sister haha small world huh"
me: "oh god damnit that is not cool at all"

><
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: calenlass on 14 May 2009, 11:14: The words "black" and "flag" coming out of the mouth of the girl with short hair were someone's idea of hilarious.

(blek fleg)

(blæk flæg)
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Tyler on 14 May 2009, 11:34: Quote from: Jeans on 14 May 2009, 05:24
Quote from: Tyler on 13 May 2009, 15:47
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4YLSSHCL8Y (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4YLSSHCL8Y)

Jens, feel free to pleasure yourself to this.

Ahaha, oh shit. This is the best thing. Thanks, Tyler!

Anything for you, baby
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Metope on 14 May 2009, 11:35: (http://i41.photobucket.com/albums/e263/blooper663/109_0975.jpg)
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: calenlass on 14 May 2009, 11:47: Um... so Jens did "modeling"?
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Vern LaVey on 14 May 2009, 13:19: Quote from: Metope on 14 May 2009, 11:35
(http://i41.photobucket.com/albums/e263/blooper663/109_0975.jpg)

That's one Funky light fixture.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Ballard on 14 May 2009, 13:40: Her cheeks say "I've been outside playing in the sun like a good girl all day" but her eyes say "I'm totally gonna use this picture for blackmail 10 years down the line."
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Emaline on 14 May 2009, 18:07: Dear Board,

Go get fucking laid. Then maybe you all wouldn't be horribly bitchy.

Take care,
Emaline

Ps. Probably not.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Dazed on 14 May 2009, 18:09: I guess irony can be pretty ironic sometimes.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Lines on 14 May 2009, 18:17: Um...
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Tyler on 14 May 2009, 18:17: (http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a373/teresias216/PHO2550.jpg)
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Metope on 14 May 2009, 18:18: (http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a373/teresias216/Electric_Kettle.jpg)
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Will on 14 May 2009, 18:20: (http://motoringfile.com/pictures/none_more_black.jpg)
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: KickThatBathProf on 14 May 2009, 18:27: Well played you three
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Dazed on 14 May 2009, 18:31: o/
o/
o/
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Tyler on 14 May 2009, 18:35: \o
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Metope on 14 May 2009, 18:35: \o
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Will on 14 May 2009, 18:35: \0
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: E. Spaceman on 14 May 2009, 18:37: (http://www.alexross.com/FF8.jpg) (http://www.alexross.com/FF8.jpg) (http://www.alexross.com/FF8.jpg)
(http://www.alexross.com/FF8.jpg) (http://www.alexross.com/FF8.jpg) (http://www.alexross.com/FF8.jpg)
(http://www.alexross.com/FF8.jpg) (http://www.alexross.com/FF8.jpg) (http://www.alexross.com/FF8.jpg)

It's good to end this thread on a good note.
Title: Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
Post by: Inlander on 14 May 2009, 18:39: I guess Emilio just got laid.